Award Memories from our final 2019 trail Mon 30th Dec from The Jolly Sailor

Only there for the Beer- for respecting his elders with a 10p loan !

Zen - who thought the Trotters regroup would offer him refreshments!

Fallen Woman for assisting a struggling Bluebird

Hotlips held responsible for all that mud on trail

6

JOLLY JOLLY SAILOR PARKING & LITTLEJOY ROAD ON THE TRAIL OF THE LONESOME BAT

Run #1827 Monday 30th December from the Jolly Sailor, East Ogwell with hares Zoot & Hotlips

Dark, dry and dreadful were the depths of East Ogwell as the chariots converged on the Jolly Sailor. The three Wise Men, Beefy, Para and the Bat had travelled from afar to secure their spaces for the inevitable jolly Jolly [sic] Sailor car parking carnage..

Forty plus hashers eventually made the circle, including yon virgin Jessica who turned up with new shoes and was gleefully peppered with flour by Teapot who has a particular venom for pristine footwear. Some unfamiliar faces lurked on the periphery: Bigfoot ('Nothing on the tv tonight!'} and Shortie - returnees after many a year; Zen - got his name right this time and Ernie (who drove the fastest.. you know what I mean Shirley) from TamarH3.

I recall a mere forty as follow:

Winfield, Teapot, Beefy, Para, Fishbait, Knotty, Strap-on, Ann, Chris, Only Here, Slip on Me, Manpig, Wet Johnny, Bigfoot, Shortie, Zen, Ernie, Artful Dogger, Fallen Woman, Jessica, Rambo, Doris, Zoot, Hotlips, 3Sum, SatNav, Wigwam, Soapy, Melon Picker, Piltdown, Able, Well Hopped, Big End, Zorro, Twinkletoes, Teararse, Debbie, Georgia, Adam and the Bat. A rare no show was the Grand Master Himself to be sure, leaving Winfield to come to the aid of the party.

The hares hadn't had a trouble-free lay as Hotlips had been lurgy laid low leaving Zoot to soldier on Sunday with the preliminary marks. Hotlips had heroically risen from his death bed on the Monday to complete the trail with Zoot. Never in the course of TV hashing has so much been owed by so many hashers... No? Well...

Circle chat completed, the wagons rolled out in search of the promised land with Wiggy briefly assuming chief scout duties up front. The Artful Dogger had slyly advised the Bat that he'd seen marks on the way over and it was on some of his 10K training run on Sunday. The superb blue Nike Odyssey racing flats were donned and the Bat was content...

Oh yes, My Dearly Beloved, there was beautiful road aplenty BUT not for the first mile. I would prefer not to dwell on my mistaka, Oh Dearly Bearing Ill Will to those that delighted in my predicament. Yes, you Melon Picker who left me trailing far behind with many a snigger. At least Dear Old Dad tried to assist.

It was left to Fallen Woman to rescue the by now tearful Bat and on they sallied through the savage shiggy until waving cheerio at the L/S split.

Just after two miles, the aptly named (for the Bat that is) Littlejoy Road loomed and a wild and lonely road it was as I wended my way up. At the summit and having lost all hope of sighting another hasher, faint cries were heard and head torches could be glimpsed far below. Oh joy resumed from the Littlejoy Road and with renewed vigour, loudly did I blow Roland's mighty horn* to proclaim that the Bat was still annoyingly there...

And there they were up ahead, a little huddle progressing along the desolate lane. Bigfoot, easily identified with little Shortie alongside and Heavens to Murgatroyd! there was Strap-on!! They were trundling along very nicely thank you and the Bat was impressed.

The one saving grace was the ever reliable marks and you really couldn't go wrong on the trail of the Lonesome Bat.

What of the other longs? I hear you gently enquire. Well, I'm going to tell you a story - whether you like it or not.

It's the continuing story of that legend in the making, Wet Johnny. I am reliably informed that he did it again - running from Ipplepen, doing the five mile hash and running back to Ipplepen - with no beer! This is a hasher with a very serious running problem and I can't see it ending well. I have him at the top of my Hit List for 2020.

Anyway, Beefy finally caught up with the flying Johnny as did the Artful Dogger who had been led a quarter of a mile off course by some idiot who had assured him: 'Trust me, we're definitely ON!'

I only briefly (about twenty yards) ran with Well Hopped, Big End/Ned but assume they were up with the likes of perennial longs, Manpig and Zorro.

It was packed in the Jolly Sailor and the landlord John was on his own, serving food and manning the bar. He had been expecting 15-20 hashers apparently and had been just a tiny bit overwhelmed. A seasoned local confided that he had 'never' seen so many hashers in the Sailor - but then he had only been a 'local' for five years. Jail and Tribute were on tap and a fine time was had by all. Thank you Zoot and Hotlips, a very good night indeed.

*The Song of Roland

POSTSCRIPT

Another year done and dusted and what a good year it has been. So many new faces and personalities to infuse new life and strength into TVH and so many adventures along the way. I know I'm a bit late, but I wish you all a very Happy New Year - and the decade to come.

WINFIELD'S MEMORIES OF OUR FINAL TRAIL OF 2019 from The Jolly Sailor, East Ogwell, with Hares Zoot & Hotlips.

A final big turnout of 40+ Hashers,ready to enjoy! the last run plus a post Christmas workout. An excellent trail had been laid by our Hares even though Hotlips was with "manflu". A final Virgin Hasher was duly anointed plus a welcome to Big Foot and Shortie before we headed on with a 5 Mile Long,3 Short, plus 2 Walk.

Leading us up onto Ogwell Common. After this the mud was deep and slippery and certainly not even! on our way down towards the river Lemon. Bluebird in flat racing shoes was certainly not enjoying this and for once we could leave him behind! shouting and cursing, as we headed eventually on-on to road!

This was a great trail where I for once was totally disorientated when off road again, slipping and sliding along unfamiliar lanes. Far in the distance lights from a pub shone out but not ours as Soapy Paraprick and I finally emerged into civilization, still following that guiding star on the Church I nearly missed out O/H car park!

Final awards for 2019 went to....

ONLY HERE FOR THE BEER (Hashit Shirt)- for respecting his elders with a 10p loan !

ZEN (White Bat hat) who thought the Trotters regroup would offer him refreshments!

FALLEN WOMAN for assisting a struggling Bluebird

HOTLIPS held responsible for all that mud on trail

ON ON to next week: Circle 7:15 in Teign and Stover Canal Car Park on Teigngrace Road (TQ12 3QJ) Birthday Hash for Flash with other Uni Friends. On Down the King's Arms, Kingsteignton (TQ12 3EG)

Pre-Christmas Memories on Trail 1826, 23 Dec from the The Park Inn with Hares:- Paraprick and Archangel

The large pack all wore something festive for this Hash as instructed!

 

Although there was a very short trail, first to The Lord Nelson, next stop The Sloop. Like several other groups Satnav No69 and I decided to do a short? circuit for fitness! Which after a steep climb up past The Sloop the expected right turn circuit never appeared, until we had stumbled up and down over rocks and mud into Coffinswell! Pressing on through wall to wall water as we approached Daccombe Mill, a final steep climb did take us to the Lord Nelson thank goodness! Here most Hashers were now moving on to the Clipper, but we stayed to enjoy a drink and meet up with ex Hasher Mr Pastry. before we headed on to the the Sloop for more refreshment and the final run in to The Park Inn, The pubs Draw festivities were in full swing, with a delicious Chilly spread also prepared and set up for us before...

 

The Awards for the evenings offenders were presented to..

 

RUNNER BEAN nominated as one of the Uni-boys for leading others astray on.the Long

WIGWAM for receiving a phone call at the Circle.

PARAPRICK:- for the very short trail, next time he is going to make it very athletic ,...by Quad bike!

MANPIG :- for whatever he was up-to with TEAPOT in his car before the DD's ?

A great evening well done all.

 

HAPPY CHRISTMAS!

 

On-On to Next week 30th Dec 7:15 at The Jolly Sailor, East Ogwell, Newton Abbot,TQ12 6AW, with Hares Zoot & Hotlips

Monday 16th Dec Christmas Draw Trail...

At our circle a young Abigail was anointed already having named herself "Little Elf" Draw Organisers Satnav, Able, & Soapy,  Archangel with his 700 Runs Badge and U-Bend with his 60th Birthday Cake.

RAISE YOUR GLASSES TO OUR VICE PRESIDENT KC

Run #1825 Monday 16th December from the Kings Arms, Kingsteignton with hare Shitfaced

Sad news at the circle when Archangel reported the passing of our much-loved Vice President KC. He was a true hash hound, famed for his amorous predilections. KC had made but a few appearances the past few months and we were prepared for the inevitable at least. Raise your glasses please to celebrate his passing, he will be missed.

The wise had arrived early to get a space in the dark but adequate pub car park but some, knowing the Kings Arms well, had made alternative chariot tethering and came a jingle bell jogging to the circle.

Talking of impending Christmas cheer, SM Ellie flitted past, attired in a fetching Santa outfit - cue sighs of approval..

Through a light brown Leg End haze, I can vaguely recall around forty five as Shirley follow here:

GM Shitfaced, Abigail the Elf, BroadS, Santa SM Ellie, Piltdown, Georgy, Teapot, SatNav, Able, Winfield,  I-Poo'd, Pan Fart, Bush Baby, U Bend, Piddler, Pork Torpedo, Hornie, Manpig, 69, Wigwam, Fishbait, Only Here, Wet Johnny, Manopause, Erection, Wetfart, returnee Stung Down Under, Fallen Woman, Broken Man, Slip on Me, Big End, Well Hopped, BB, Coldtits, Archangel, Rambo, Doris, Strap-on (newly named), Zorro2, Debbie, Georgia, Adam, Robert and Woof Woof. A couple of others as well but being feeble-minded I can't recall their hash handles.

Circle conveneth came the presentation of a tiny elf - imported specially for the occasion and at great expense - and delightfully did Abigail skip forward for the initiation by flour. 'Why, it must be Elf 'n' Safety!' uttered a snowstorm lit hat attired Fallen Woman.. No? Well...

Made later than usual, Pan Fart and Bush Baby had arriv-ed in Kingskerswell searching fruitlessly for the Kings Arms. Ah well, they escaped a DD for the mistaka anyway.

Great knowledge, logic and experience count for very little on a hash as Penners Wet Johnny and Manopause were to discover.

'Look Manopause, it'll only be a three miler at best for the long tonight, so let's run to Kingsteignton (from Ipplepen?) and make up the difference!' Wet Johnny did opine and Shirley, I would have agreed with him BUT... A strawberry flavoured yoghurt sent it spinning from his hand...

There were two major flaws in the cunning plan. Manopause's estimate of about three miles to the pub was out just a tad (5 miles plus) and the Grand Master was laying the trail - and he liked to give value... sigh

Notices exhausted, the high-ranking hare stepped forward with staff of office once more restored. A long, about FIVE MILES and a 'runners' trail' (zoom to WJ's and Manopause's little faces) a short, three miles and a walking trail PLUS a special drinkers' trail (presumably straight to the bar, I never did find out) and one last thing, there may be a smidgen of drizzle later on...

The glad tidings thus dispensed, we tunnel funnelled out to embark on another glorious adventure...HA!

Seemingly unaffected by the five mile 'warm-up' Wet Johnny was to the fore from the get-go and the Bat bade him a fond farewell after a mile...sigh

The usual cast of FRBs took up station: Man Pig, Big End/Ned and Well Hopped and that seemed to be it as strangely there appeared to be no other takers, but more on this situation a bit later, Oh Dearly Are You Still Paying Attention?

Runners' trail indeed, flat, mainly road and nary a check to be seen - Oh Heaven, if only I were fit and not fit for nuthin' and on we surged, spread out on both sides of the road and working as a team but the joker was about to be played in our little game..

And the Grand Master raised his carv-ed staff aloft and invoked the heavens to open..

.

Just as the Wise One had foretold, the rains came and jollity unabated did rain [come on, obviously sic].

Braking hard at the Bell Inn (oh so near to the beer) we cut through the alley to the churchyard - just as Man Pig had Shirley prophesied a few minutes earlier. Then miraculously, a trail of lights converged with us - Shirley the shorts but wait, what's this?  Woof Woof, Manopause, Zorro2, Pan Fart and Bush Baby - no short trail hashers here and apparently they had missed a turning on the long but they were back so all sins forgiven and a bit of banter to raise our flagging spirits.

Five miles in the bag and now safely in the hash-friendly Kings Arms. Nice one GM.

Gemma was unassisted behind the bar but the Leg End was £3.60 - nuff said.

Time for the Christmas Draw and SatNav, assisted by Soapy and Able had prepared a magnificent array of prizes.

WINFIELD'S MEMORIES on Trail1825

Our.Christmas Draw organised by Satnav with a trail from The Kings Arms Kingsteignton plotted by Hare:-Shitfaced. At our circle a young Abigail was anointed already having named herself "Little Elf" followed in by Archangel who announced the sad passing-on of KC our Vice President, that very active! Jack Russell. "Alexa" was spot on with the weather forecast, as by 8pm it was raining again! We headed on around the streets of Kingsteignton along with No69, Coldtitz and Wigwam passing many excellent Christmas displays. Deciding we were already wet enough on the outside, this now seemed a good the time to re-enter The Kings Arms for a beer inside! before the Draw started. The display had been fully set up by Satnav, Able Semen & Soapy, with those crucial draw lists displayed ready for action!

AWARDS for the evening were presented to....

.

WET JOHNNY (hashit shirt) for saving the taxi fare by running in from Ipplepen.

MANOPAUSE (horsey horseface hat)  who was also tempted to join him!

U-BEND whose miscalculation made it not his 60th Birthday!

ARCHANGEL who cheerfully accepted his 700thRun badge at last!

POSTSCRIPT

About to leave when Just Coming came back to look for her purse which we eventually found - much to her relief - in the car park near her motor bike. A most enjoyable evening and I loved the trail - designed for the runners amongst us, though poor Ned wasn't quite as enthusiastic - poor paws on the unrelenting road.

Just one other thing, where were you Beefy? I only realized you were missing halfway into the run!

ON ON to next week and a Christmas Run (7:15 pm) from The Park Inn TQ12 5BQ,with Hares:- Paraprick & Archangel Don't forget to wear something festive on this Hash.

A PRE-CHRISTMAS TALE OF TWO MANORS

Run #1824 Monday 9th December from the Churston Manor Hotel with Manpig, U Bend & Bogof#2

Pre-Christmas jollities were Shirley upon us Monday night in devastated Churston, Oh Dearly Had Already Left and failed to see U Bend's FB warning regarding the 'traffic works' nearby. Traffic works? No, the entire village was yellow plastic-railed off and a jolly chicane-like diversion roundabouts and thereabouts finally found the entrance to the gaily light-festooned and ancient Churston Manor Hotel. Ye gods, that was a mouthful to get us rolling, rolling rolling, keep them dogies rollin' Rawhide!

I'm sorry, I don't know what came over me...

A 'local' venue across the Bay but an urban nightmare drive and 69 had already allowed for this and was there first to secure prime real estate for the chariot. A quick quarter of an hour to catch up on the gee gee results before Beefy arrived and then the charging chariot cavalcade crush commenc-ed.. Didulikethat? No, well...

Shirley a triumph in our time (it wasn't though as I forgot Pisswell!) as methinks I have the numbers cover-ed, there being a grand and goodly total of forty seven  (now 48!) potential partygoers as follows:

PISSWELL of course! Pork Torpedo, Hornie, Number 2 (great welcome), Able, Well Hopped, Big End, Bobby, Wigwam, Teapot, Fukarwi (he came back - a hasher like him!), Beefy, SM Ellie, BroadS, Doris, Wetfart, Manopause, Wet Johnny, Erection, GM Shitfaced, I-Poo'd, T Humper, Chris, Anne (virgin), Manpig, U Bend, Bogof #2, Only Here, Plonker, Artful Dogger (the lads are back), BB, Piltdown, Georgy, Piddler, Debbie, Georgia, Adam, Robert, Soapy, Melon Picker, SatNav, 3sum, Coldtits, Slip on Me, 69, GaGa4It (a solo once more - where are the rest of the ladies, Oh Dearly Not Sighted For Many a Hash?), Fallen Woman & Broken Man. HA!

Circle convened and a virgin, Ann, was beckoned forth for initiation, and it transpired she was with Chris whose time would Shirley cometh later.  Last chance saloon for the Christmas Party tickets; an entreaty from SatNav for the 'One Pounders' to find her and not vice versa; Doris calling for a February 2020 slot to be filled and then U Bend was summoned.  Quite straightforward: A long about five, a short, about three and an indeterminate walkers' trail with of course, as advertised, a pub stop en routey.

Plonker called the way out front and it was quite slick and slippery in the woods with clean running hard to find but eventually we descended onto Elberry cove and made our way up Broadsands road to the common where a misguided contribution of 'ON ON to the Weary Ploughman!' was shouted by a nameless idiot...sigh.

Warily navigating the busy Dartmouth road and across Galmpton common we coursed and cursed [sic] and it was there that an unfortunate long stepped into a deep pothole and evidently was far from amus-ed..

Closing from a long, long way back, the Bat was joined by BroadS - still standing after his Dartington mudbath on Saturday evening plus Well Hopped, Big End and Manopause.

It wasn't far down to the Manor Inn (a Tale of Two Manors) and inside were the massed ranks of the shorts cum walkers with the locals seemingly bemused by it all.

'What are you having BB, a half or a pint? Mind you I'm not buying it!' came the greeting from Poles Piddler but I agreed with Manopause, it was too hot to tarry inside (for the longs anyway) and we decided to continue back.  'Only' 4.5 miles but welcome was the sight of the bar at the Churston Manor where quite a few (non Manor Inn hashers) were ensconced. Not far enough for Wet Johnny - whose star is still in its ascendency, running-wise and he proceeded (with Beefy, I suspect) to do the short trail for good measure.

'Can I have a Wild Blonde please?' said I to the young barman. He gave me an odd look and paused for a few seconds before finally realising that it was the beer I was after and not one of the bar staff - yes, really, I didn't make it up... The beer price was quite surprising - £3.80 for the Wild Blonde and Doom and £3.90 for the Jail even though Bobby remarked that both the Blonde and Jail were flat later on. But never mind, worse things happen.

The hash fare was served - money up front - was it a fiver? (for a driver*) and we made ready for the usual shenanigans that pose as:

THE AWARDS & DOWNDOWNS

SLIP ON ME (the White Bat hat) from Big End for going in the gents and losing her knickers - unrelated incidents you'll be relieved to know Oh Dearly Easily Shocked.

BEEFY (Hashit Pillock shirt) from Wet Johnny - a delayed DD from last week when we missed giving Beefy (hare) a reward tipple.

MANPIG (despite trying to wriggle out of it) had the celebration Birthday hat and birthday DD, Olé!

Rip-roarious was the naming of (Court Farm) Chris. His starter for ten and claim to fame being a tool maker elicited an immediate cry of 'Strap-on' from the Good Ol' Boys loitering by the fireplace. Not immediately picked up by our gentle RA, the said Good 'Ol Boys - now vocally assisted by Piltdown, had to insist and being of good voice we prevail-ed so let's hear it for STRAP-ON!!! Oh yes!

Finally, a joint DD for U BEND and his assistant Bev, who I was reliably informed by Piltdown  has a SH3 hash handle of Bogof#2.

* Captain Mainwaring

POSTSCRIPT

Quite an evening and party atmosphere at the Manor Inn pub stop which looked like the OD, packed with hashers as it Shirley was, and later in the Churston Manor itself. A scenic and technical long (woods) trail by the hares and the shorts and walkers did well to make the Manor and back. The Churston Manor had that 'wow' factor and was enjoyed by all. Cheers to the hares!

ON ON to next week and our Christmas Draw from the Kings Arms (TQ12 3EG) 7:15 with Hare:- Shitfaced

JINGLE BELL HOUNDS, FAIRY LIGHTS & FLAPJACKS MADE FOR A MAGIC EVENING

Run #1823 Trendlebere Down, OD the Bell Inn, Bovey Tracey with hare Beefy

And there it was, just as foretold, a shimmering blue luminescent arrow pointing to the sacred circle in a fairy-like grotto in darkest Trendlebere Down - magic...

A crisp evening (37f) saw some thirty eight hardy hashers assemble at Beefy's well marked 'car park' on Trendlebere Down. Indeed, there could be no excuses not to find the circle location with an almost festive blue reflective arrow showing the way. Intense planning had Shirley gone into the hare's preparations - a seven mile recce on Sunday and over ten miles laid on the day - Beefy had left nothing to chance and dare we say it - it was dry and still - Oh give thanks to the hash gods on high!.

Cometh the circle up deadline and the glorified lay by was filled to overflowing. No urban lighting here and in the inky black darkness Teapot called for names and his total was pretty well spot on.

Recalled: GM Shitfaced, Teapot, Piltdown, Georgy, 3Sum, SatNav, 69, Beefy, Only Here, Debbie, Adam, Georgia, Robert, Soapy, Palmolive, Melon Picker, Wet Johnny, Manopause, Erection, Forrest, Manpig, BroadS, SM Ellie, I-Poo'd, Coldtits, Bobby Woll, Wigwam, Big End, Well Hopped, Ding Dong, Wetfart, Fishbait, Slip on Me, Small Fry, BB, Able with late arrivals Pan Fart & Bush Baby 38

Salute the Grand Master we could not as he had unfortunately left his staff of office in the hallway and indeedy, it wasn't quite the same without the brandishing..

.

Beefy was anxious to get the show on the road as the pub had an earlier than usual cut-off point for the hash grub. The hash trail menu was exotic: Three L/S splits and wait for it - TWO walkers' routes being mark-ed W1 and W2. In the words of old Harry 'You've never had it so good.'

Rock 'n' stroll time and into the depths of Yarner wood we surged with Cruella sniggers as the Bat failed to operate the first gate.  The first check was within a hundred yards and Manopause chose correctly and a nice little lead was opened up on the rest of the pack.

Wet Johnny was a revelation since having the turbo fitted* and was the FRB of the night, galloping clear and only caught up with at the checks - cleverly designed by the hare to put a lid on such an eventuality.

It was déjà vu from last week as Big End/Ned and Well Hopped loom-ed large in the wing mirrors but there were other hounds loose in the calaboose... A jingle of bells could only mean that Feagle, Brock and Ding Dong were closing fast.  Ding Dong confirmed that her stitches were out following a tumble in one of her canine-cross events and I pulled over to let the pro team past.

The inevitable drama unfolded and on a long descent the Bat saw Ding Dong and team hesitate. 'Have you seen any marks?' 'No' replied the batty Bat, 'I wuz following you!'  A procession of Hi ho, hi ho, it's off to work we go lights appeared, 'Anything BB?' enquired Manopause but the longs were also suspicious of the absence of marks and turned back. 'I'll sound my horn if we're on...' echoed back to the retreating longs and that was the last time they ever saw the Bat again.... sigh

II wasn't the only one that missed the glorious secluded hut stop where cider or lemonade and fruit and nut flapjacks were on offer in a delightful fairy light lit hut in the middle of nowhere as Wet Johnny must have been going too fast and overshot the magical refreshment stop.

A few snippets of gossip were passed on at the pub:  Wiggers had a head torch failure and wandered lonely as the wispish clouds above but got back safely and apparently a certain hasher led a large group of walkers astray - der rottenführer strikes again - you failed to mention this outrage Bobby, I vunder vy?  Big End was slightly perplexed that Manpig and Forrest had got in front of him and Well Hopped as they hadn't overtaken and the rumour going round was that perhaps they had accidentally (Manpig and Forrest not short cutters of course!) been sidetracked through one of the walkers' trails.

Following Bobby Woll's Panzer in my scout car, we managed to find the last spaces in the steep car park above the Bell Inn. Warm and welcoming was the Bell and the good news was the price of the vital beer - £3.70 for Legend and Doom! a full 40p cheaper than the week before, whoa! Our congenial host and landlord Owen made us very welcome and there were no queues at the bar that I could see and he was happy that we had a good time.  Let's put the Bell on our list of hash-friendly venues for Bovey.

AWARDS

WET JOHNNY had the Hashit shirt for going back along the walkers' trail to look for fellow Penners, Manopause & Erection - WJ's explanation not being accepted by Melon Picker.

BIG END received the Bat hat from Forrest who claimed that he had saved his bacon by calling him back on trail.

BUSH BABY was aghast at being awarded the Horsey horseface hat for arriving late with Pan Fart and getting lost on the short (thanks Wiggers, a close call as WJ was also my choice and I didn't have a Plan B!)

SLIP ON ME received her 200 Badge to finish the fun.

*Puts it all down to the weight loss - and perhaps a few 6 milers.

POSTSCRIPT

Beefy put his heart and soul into the evening and what a success it turned out to be. Everyone loved the trail and the pub, well done!

POST POSTSCRIPT

I am relieved that no one (apart from the lady who came out of her house to see why I had run past four times) witnessed my most unfortunate demise, I shall not elaborate. I stayed behind to chat to Owen and the locals and they thought that someone wearing a bat on his head and harlequin chef's trousers was quite normal. By the way, a returning local, now living in Nova Scotia, recalled many hashers of old, including Biggles and Soapy - a small world, isn't it...

ON ON to next week and the Churston Court Inn, Churston Ferrers, (TQ5 0JE,) with Hares U-Bend & Manpig

WET JOHNNY BEATS THE SABOTEUR & WINFIELD'S NEARLY FORGOTTEN BIRTHDAY NIGHT

Run #1822 Monday 25th November from the Dartmouth Inn with Wet Johnny

Forlornly did the (very) few seek the ramblings last week of Him who shall not be nam-ed. Indeed, the Rottenführer* himself scoured the lists of MIA musing that the Bat had been downed.. but it is just how you feared, Oh Dearly Hoped I Really had Gone, I am still here (for the beer) and at great cost to my insanity [Shirley sic] shall attempt to tell the story of Wet Johnny's ultimately triumphant trail.

Are you sitting comfortably? Then I shall begin the hash beguine..

A splendid turnout which Teapot called at 46 (more realistically Winfield's total of 49) but lackaday, I can only recall these brave souls: GM Shitfaced, Winfield, Teapot, Wet Johnny, Erection, Manopause, Beefy, Slip on Me, Only Here, Debbie, Georgia, Adam, Robert, Chris, Soapy, Melon Picker, U Bend, Piddler, Bobby Woll, Wigwam, Rambo, Doris, Polyfella, Pan Fart, Bush Baby, Fishbait, Small Fry, Big End, Well Hopped, Hotlips, Zoot, Manpig, T Humper, I-Poo'd, Just Cummin', GaGa4it, Archangel, BB, Piltdown, Georgy, SM Ellie, BroadS, SatNav, Wetfart, Coldtits, (45)

The usual mild pandemonium and childish chaos were prevalent at the circle and I was shushed by Piddler who was in turn counter shushed by the belligerent Bat for continuing to ramble... sigh
Fleeting snippets of info drifted back to the good old boys and 3 long/short splits and 'I've still got to lay the last bit of the long' were discerned before the motley cavalcade was dispersed onto the historic Plains of Totnes.

Warrior Wiggsy led us over the bridge and to the first L/S split: Longs en routey for Longmarsh nature reserve along the banks of the Dart with the shorts veering off to avoid the scenic and muddy joys.

First to pass was a serene Beefy who drifted past never to be sighted again - never fear, I may be back soon Beefy. How soon? After the mon-soon. No? Well...

Polyfella was next with his characteristic loping gait, but a combination of inappropriate shoes (know the feeling) and his exertions in Sunday's Bicton Blister 10 miler reduced the revs on this dour stayer.
Shortly thereafter and the Bat sensed the presence of Big End, Well Hopped and of course that athletic hound Ned. I thought I would regale them with a tall story from my prehistoric past - not realising that Polyfella - he of the Horsey horseface hat - had overheard... sigh.

Completing the scenic and luvverly flat loop, the longs arriv-ed back from whence they had Shirley come and the sorely afflicted One looked for the exit. Oh Disaster, thy name is Shirley My Watch Failed to Start and the screech of rage echoed down the Dart.

I turned to see the lads approaching and what the heck, I decided to have one last burst on my fiercely burning banjo. A quick natter with Manpig and Manopause and we shouted back to Erection to get a wiggle on.

It was such a shame that I could not continue as the tarmac was so inviting but discretion was Shirley the best option and I waved a tearful goodbye to the lads with a last instruction to see if anything noteworthy occurred as I was the proud holder (and wearer) of the Hashit Pillock shirt (remarkably still with Grizzly number attached). I limped back with black smoke pouring from the engine to the sanctuary of the pub and some say the real reason for hashing...

First back to the pub - another dubious footnote to my HCV** and an empty bar, luxury indeedy and the bonus was the opportunity to down a pint of Proper Job before it ran out. The now almost de rigueur £4.10 a pint price tag applied though we all know where it is still far cheaper, don't we hashers***? But never mind, the Dartmouth Inn remains hash friendly and the hash menu was a good 'un.

Not too long to wait as the shorts and walking crew percolated in and a chance to chat with the newbies, Robert, Georgia and Adam, brought along, I think, by Only Here and Debbie (her second time). That young man Robert, who some might have questioned his ability to get round had done just that - completing the two mile challenge for the walkers. And that is quite an effort for some hashers - an achievement not to be belittled Shirley.

Just Cummin' was back (welcome!) and assured that the highly improper old Dickhead Hat was safe and would shortly be returning and Slip on Me confirmed she was getting better. Such was the madding circle throng, I had failed to spot BroadS and thought he had come along just for the beer but who had in fact completed the long.

Desperately seeking candidates for the shirt, I had to rely on dubious hearsay but the 'story' of Melon Picker going down like a 'sack of spuds' was compelling (thanks Piddler & U Bend) and I had to go for it.

Winfield's birthday - actually on the Monday - was quite a well kept secret and RA Manpig and Teapot had to be informed to take the celebratory action. Happy birthday Dad!
*Bobby Woll of course.

**HCV: Hashing curriculum vitae!
***This is an unpaid advertisement for the Park Inn at Kingskerswell.

POSTSCRIPT
Wet Johnny did EVER so well, didn't he just! A solo hare (5 stars anyway) but had been sorely hampered with that most heinous of crimes - SABOTAGE. It really is so disheartening to discover that your trail marks have been obliterated but on the positive side, WJ fortunately had the opportunity to re-lay. He 'live' laid the last section to make sure that it would be there and all got safely round. A Magnificent Seven mile long, a three plus mile short AND a two mile walkers' trail - what an effort, thank you Wet Johnny.

WINFIELD'S Memories from # 1822 Mon 25th Nov.!

At The Dartmouth Inn Totnes where a pack of 46 plus 3 virgins assembled with Hare: Wet Johnny, who had laid a differing trail this week.(not so much mud!). Sweets were quickly devoured by the pack before heading off over the river Dart "On right" down stream for a 3+ ml short, into the new Bridgetown estate. Here on new territory, following a well marked trail up and up, on paths, steps, grassy banks avoiding a little mud! in the new development, before winding back down to the river, with a final burst of pace from one bridge to the other and On Home!

Awards from the evening were presented by a Movember bearing Manpig to....
FISHBAIT for finally reaching her 50Runs badge, and not going to waste a drop!
BLUEBIRD an ill person! who reminded us he was once Devon Junior Cross Country Champion in 1969!!
MELON PICKER who was seen to fall over on trail by some ?? but cannot remember doing this ?
WINFIELD another Birthday DD song on reaching... (who wrote 82 on my pad!!)
WET JOHNNY finally, alighted the stairs in style, to receive his reward for a great trail and evening. Well done!

On-On to next week at the Middle CP Trendlebere Down, on the Manaton Road from Bovey.(nearest post code TQ13 9LJ) OD The Bell Bovey nearest CP (TQ13 9HE) Hare:- Beefy

Memories from # 1822 Mon 25th Nov.!

...and the Awards were presented to.....

Down down Awards Trail 1821 at The Old Inn

Down down Awards at The Old Inn Preston

Memories from Trail #1821

On 18th November at The Old Manor, Preston. 

 

With Hare:Bobbiball & Team! A great testing trail, which led us from a well lit Preston up & up into the mud and darkness of Occombe Valley Woods. Here the "commando" style test began, with L/S and Walkers all choosing their preferred options. The Walkers were now faced with a steep mudslide down into the dark valley, while the Long headed on towards Scadson Woods and the Short weaved their way along the upper footpath dodging branches while trying to keep balance along a treacherous trail. Fortunately after a soaking in the steam we emerged thankfully into civilisation with streetlights helping us find Bobbi's SS. Here a sip or two of Port Sherry etc revived us, before finally descending back down through Shorton Valley to the comfort of The Old Manor with its welcoming drinks & buffet. 

 

PS Doris and Twinkle-toes having avoided the mudslide, did eventually thankfully, find their way Home much later. 

 

Offenders from this epic escapade were :-

Pisswell for being late to park again!

Pollyfella took the horse head hat, for his cackling laugh as he overtook the Long.

Bluebird a blinding vision! as he shows off his healthy body, after taking eye-drops to cure his vertigo! ??

Wet Johnny, finally presented with his 200Runs badge! still in summer gear!

Well done Bobbiball & Co. a great trail and evening.

 

On to next week Mon 25th November at The Dartmouth Inn Totnes TQ9 5EL, with Hare: Wet Johnny!