TVH3 The Words for 11th July 2022

Haytor Middle Car Park, Dartmoor

On-Down at Haytor Quarry

 

Run #1925

 

HARE: Slip-on-Me

Who wuz there: Slip-o

n-Me, Shitfaced, Man-Pig, Arkangel, Hotlips, Zoot, Beefy, Piltdown Man, Georgy Porgy, Smellie, Coldtits, Rambo, Well Hopped, Big End, Well Hopped's Dad, Piddler, Wet Johnny, Warm Front, Polyfella, Broadshit, Ablesemen, Ernie, Teapot. Non runners: Martin & Threesum.

 

The Circle

An absolutely beautiful and clear day welcomed us to Haytor Middle car park. Smellie and Man-Pig commented on the beautiful view with Big End reaffirming how fortunate we were with access to views like this on trail. 

 

Shitafced said a few words about the weather, the view, and this weekend's Ippletipple. It then transpired that Smellie had got her weekends confused and would be attending the following weekend's Teignmouth beer festival but not this weekend's Ippletipple. 

 

This was Slip-on-Me's virgin lay and she was quite anxious. She had already swept up Plympton Hash's sawdust with a dustpan and brush. So as not to confuse anyone, the trail had been laid in "red" sand. 

 

When we eventually got our eye in, the red sand proved to be more of a mud colour. At least we now knew what to look for. Post run, drinks, and nibbles were to be at the flooded quarry where a warm swim would await those who dared.

 

The trail

 

PARADISE LOST by Pollyfella

 

The hash gathered on the most beautiful of summer evenings at the middle car park below the mighty Haytor rocks. The early arrivals took in the epic view and picked out landmarks all the way down to The Ness at Shaldon. The cars steadily pulled up. Then Warm Front appeared having impressively cycled up to the moor and Beefy having equally impressively run up from Widecombe. 

 

The circle was called for our grandmaster to commence proceedings. 

 

Our circle comprised of:
Able Semen, Archangel, Big End, Broadshit, Cold Tits, Georgy P Orgy, Hot Lips, Hunk of Beef, Manpig, Piddler, Piltdown Man, Pollyfella, Rambo, Shitfaced, Slip-on Me, Tea Pot, Well Hopped, Wet Johnny, Zoot, James, Norm, and Roger. 

 

First up was Piddler keen to know if a delegation of hashers would be heading to the Ipple Tipple on 16th July but there were no definite takers. But as the GM pointed out final decisions on such matters usually occur on the day itself. 

 

Next, there was a discussion about the Teignmouth RFC beer festival to be held over the weekend of Thursday 21st to Saturday 23rd July. This was greeted with more enthusiasm with plans made for attending on Friday and Saturday nights. Then Rambo confirmed that August dates were nearly full and bookings for September were being taken. 

 

Next, it was the turn of hare for the evening, Slip on Me, who set out the distances for the walker, short and long trails. There was a promise of a beer stop and an explanation that the trail was laid in red sand which was greeted with a murmur of intrigue. Could a sand trail be spotted out on the moor? 

 

The on down was confirmed as the quarry and Slip on Me offered to drive beer and belongings and even hashers down after the run. 

 

Our hare announced that all hashers were starting off heading down the hill and off we went led by Warm Front through the bracken down to the lower car park and on to the junction at the Moorland Hotel. 

 

There we scattered searching down the side roads and along the wall adjacent to the hotel seeking our first glimpse of red sand. 

 

After several minutes of back and forth, Man Pig spotted the first sand blob and called the “on on.” The trail led us down the lane heading towards Ilsington. 

 

About half a mile later, we came upon a split for the walkers taking them left. The longs and shorts carried on down the road until we reached an arrow directing us right and down a pretty path to a stream. 

 

Hashers had the choice of either crossing on a bridge consisting of one long thin rock raised above the water like a misplaced monolith from Stonehenge or running across the stream.

On we ran through pretty woodland until we reached a gate marked “Do Not Enter – Private” which was covered in a forbidding barbed wire. Surely it could not be that way? 

 

Here there was a mini regroup with Man Pig, Big End, Polly Fella, Beefy, and Warm Front all searching for a sandy blob. 

 

Big End bemoaned his colour blindness and explained that he was not going to be able to help us spot anything red tonight! 

 

Then in front of the gate, a blob was spotted and onwards we coursed. On we ran down a track at the lowest point around the private land. Here our pace was gentle with the sultry heat now playing its part. 

 

Through a gate and upwards we ran passing the isolated Bagg Tor House to our left. Here our trail disappeared. We searched in all directions. Warm Front and Big End went on straight up with Manpig exploring paths to the left and Pollyfella down to Bagg Tor house. 

 

We decided the trail must be at the summit of Bagg Tor and so up we went to be rewarded with the most epic panorama and - a sand blob! 

 

With all the earlier checking the group was now extended to include Smellie, Broadsheet, and Ernie, he of the fastest milk cart fame. Ahead of us lay Haytor and on we ran through another gate but, alas, this was to be the last of the trail we could find. Paradise Lost indeed...

 

We ran up to the road below the Tor and down to the upper car park to observe the movements at the middle car park. 

 

With our GPS showing we were still below four miles, our group was unable to resist running up to Haytor to take in the view. Warm Front ascended the great rock and the rest of the group went around on the grass. Then we descended to the on down location to see the quarry and admire the water lilies and the plentiful tadpoles in its waters. 

 

Then it was back to the car park to gather our beers and clothes ready for the on down. Heading back, we passed Able Semen, the first hasher who was on her way up from the car park, and then we met Georgy P Orgy with Piltdown Man. 

 

As Piltdown was carrying Smellie's beer and gear, she decided to stay up at the on down site as the rest of the group returned to the car park. There we found Threesome and partner sitting outside their camper enjoying the last of their leisurely dinner from a fine vantage point overlooking the views of the South Devon coast. 

 

Here too was Well Hopped and her father and another hasher (apologies for not knowing your name). Back at the cars, we met Coldtits who explained the shorts had found the beer stop. She offered packs of crisps to the hungry hashers. Then over the far slopes facing Haytor emerged Rambo and from the direction of the top car park, Archangel descended. The hash was regrouping from all directions.

 

A group of hashers including Well Hopped and Big End decided to take in the sunset from the top of Haytor and off they went with their supplies.

 

Next to arrive at the car park was Slip on Me returning in a cloud of 4 x 4 dust.

She explained that she had been waiting at the beer stop for the longs who never arrived. The longs were all sorry to have missed the beer stop but it could not be helped and they had still had a lovely run and taken in stunning views. The hash was now dispersing in all directions. 

 

Beefy and Warm Front headed off on their energetic ways home. Slip on Me kindly offered to drive hashers to the on down and a group enjoyed a bumpy 4x4 ride to the quarry for a catch-up and refreshment with the rest of the pack.

 

What a glorious night it was out hashing on Dartmoor in the shadows of Haytor.

A huge thank you to Slip on Me for all her hard work in arranging such a fabulous adventure.

 

The Down-Downs

Probably didn't happen as only Piltdown-Man, Georgy Porgy, Smellie, Piddler, Able Semen, Slip-On-Me, Rambo, Martin, and Threesum walked up to the quarry for nibbles and drinks.

 

Next week

The concluding chapter of the Dartmoor trilogy: Location: Ponsworthy; Hare - Pisswell, possibly aided by Beefy. Full directions to be posted.

 

ON ON! Man-Pig