TVH3 The Words for 7th November 2022

by Man-Pig

The Palk Arms, Hennock (in lieu of postponed Fireworks' Hash)

 

Run No. 1942

 

HARES: Forrest Stump & Wood Lend

 

Who wuz there: Forrest Stump, Wood Lend, Shitfaced (circle only), Man-Pig, Piltdown Man, Smellie, Beefy, Pisswell, AA (Pisswell's daughter), Raf (to be named), Big End, Well-Hopped, Ned, Swinger, Ernie, Manopause, Wet Johnny, Fallen Woman, Fukarewe.

 

The Circle

The forecast of gale-force winds and heavy showers did not deter eighteen hashers from making the blustery trip up to Hennock for a change from the originally advertised venue.

The Teign Valley road is closed for 10 days so Forrest's Firework Hash had to be postponed. Just as well because nothing was going to burn, fly or explode in this weather.

 

The Firework Hash is now rescheduled for 21st November - weather permitting. So get down to Trago Mills and see if they've got any fireworks going half price.

 

As per usual, the circle commenced with Smellie reiterating her request for Hares. The only date that remains unfilled for this year is Boxing Day! U-bend couldn't now do 5th December but someone has stood in for this slot.

 

Returnee Fallen Woman, resplendent with healthy tan, confirmed that the annual Brixham Fish 'n' chip run would take place on 12 December. I seem to recall that the fish 'n' chips will be delivered to the on-down for consumption. This will be CAMRA's South Devon pub of the year for 2020, The Queens. Man-Pig requested a volunteer for the Words. No takers......yet again.

 

The Trail

The trail commenced with the whole pack trotting from the pub, along Church Lane and past the church, to the dead end. A Walkers' trail was marked to the left and through the churchyard. Amazingly, there were no takers. 

 

At the end of the cul-de-sac, we passed through a wicket gate and down the public footpath towards the fantastically named Twizzle Tree Cottage. The field gave way to woodland as we started our descent to the bottom of the valley. Down a couple of steps and then a dogleg. A concrete drive took us downhill towards the cottage for a hundred yards before we spied a public footpath sign to our left. It was back into woodland and uphill through Greatrock Copse and past Great Rock itself.

 

This area of the valley is heavily mined and, at times, there was a steep drop to our right. Up and up and up followed by down and down as Wet Johnny led the pack towards a distant lone torch. This was Wood Lend and Fuddle guiding us down and to the first of two Long/Short splits.

 

At Beadon Bridge, the Shorts went left and up Beadon Lane. The Longs were directed right and up into Newton Cleave Wood. Here we came to a mark which almost no-one recognised. It was a fishhook with the number 4 below it. The first four to the fishhook were Beefy, Raf, Wet-Johnny and Man-Pig. A bit of head scratching went on whilst Swinger, Ernie and Manopause caught up, closely followed by Big End, Well Hopped and Ned. 

 

Some thought it was the sweetie stop and looked for non-existent sweets. Man-Pig, who knew exactly what this was, simply asked if anyone was behind us. "Yes. Pisswell and AA" replied Big End. "OK, we'll wait for them and push on" suggested the Pig.

 

The fishhook had sort of been complied with - despite Swinger saying "You've broken the rules". "There are no rules on the Hash my dear!".

 

Not far after the fishhook, the track levelled off and we came to a T-junction. This was on the broad track that is, nominally, the boundary between Netton Cleave Wood and Canonteign Down. An obvious place for a check but we found nothing.

 

Soon there was a shout of "On-On" to our left. Wet-Johnny was on trail as we headed back towards the reservoirs on the high path. Another check and we were on a more minor path that descends back to the Long/Short split at Beadon Bridge. Here we rejoined the Shorts (who we never caught up) and ascended Beadon Lane to Chericombe Head.

 

Chericombe Head provided the second and last Long/Short split. Wet-Johnny was waiting for Manopause and I guess that they both took the Shorts' route back to the pub via Bell Lane. 

 

Raf and Beefy were well ahead. Not even a reflection of their torchlight in the distance as Ernie and I commenced the final Long. This took us down the bridal path that enters Hennock at Five Lanes and, inevitably, a check. Beefy and Raf were running back to kick-out the check but I had already done the needful.

 

Up to this point, the weather hadn't been as bad as forecast but now it was pelting down. Despite the torrential downpour, Beefy had decided to dispense with his kagool. I, on the other had, zipped up and rummaged around for my beanie hat. A quarter mile trot back into Hennock had us back at the pub in no time.

 

What a fantastic evening to be out and close to nature whilst everyone else was tucked up at home.

 

The Down-Downs

Back at the pub, the landlord had put on a vey welcome chilli con carne. This, despite the fact that Monday is the chef's night off. Just what we wanted after a wet and windy run.

 

First up was Fukarewe to award the Bat Hat. Initially, there was a story about a hasher who thought that he knew where he was going, "Because I've seen an arrow", but proved to be wrong.

 

However, this was trumped by an out-of-hash sighting the previous week. Fukarewe had been out and about on his antiquated two wheeled British iron when he saw what he thought to be a hasher. He was correct. This was Big End having a pee at the side of the road. We did ask which part of the hasher Fukarewe recognised but there was no answer. A note for the "Hasher Slasher".

 

Next up was Forrest. He had been passed the hashshit shirt to award. Forrest had thoughtfully hung it outside to get a good clean before awarding it to Beefy. Beefy had started the trail with a kagool, hood, gloves and survival pack but ended up back at the pub in just a pair of speedos. Accordingly, a note for the "Wardrobe malfunction".

 

There were no other awards but there was an un-named hasher in our presence - Raf.

Now, Raf is Portugese and the last time we saw him was four years ago at the Rugglestone when Jess was named AA (pronounced "Ahhhhh"). The jury is still out as to whether this is an abbreviation for "arseholes anonymous" or a reference to Mum's van. 

 

Some naming suggestions were put to the floor, all pivoting around the initials RAF. In a wholly undemocratic conservative three line whip, Raf was duly anointed "Raffasfuk".

 

A final half of the valley's finest ale to dish out. The award properly went to a deserving Hare. However, Forrest admitted that the reality was that he had been the Hare's assistant. The true hero of the hour was Wood Lend. Hence Forrest nominated his son as the worthy recipient of the final down-down.

 

Well done Hares. A great trail laid in atrocious weather conditions. Well worth the journey out to darkest Hennock and a very welcoming pub to boot.

 

Next week

Wed Wock Brewery, Humber with Hares Big End and Well Hopped. There is a deal on regarding food. i.e. a pasty and a pint for some money (I've forgotten how much was quoted). 

 

More importantly, if you want food, Well Hopped needs to know by Thursday. 

 

Well Hopped/Bluebird will put something on the Facebook page so that hungry hashers can place their orders by the deadline. We are, additionally, promised that Jackie is coming out of retirement to serve behind the bar....sterling service.

 

On-On to next week.