TVH3 The Words for 13th February 2023

Forde Social Club, Newton Abbot

Run No. 1956

 

HARES: Soapy, Melonpicker & Palmolive

 

Who wuz there: Soapy, Melonpicker, Palmolive, 'Allo Vera, Wash'n'Go, Shitfaced, Popeye, Popeye's girlfriend, U-Bend, Man-Pig, Archangel, Hotlips, Zoot, Slip-on-Me, Satnav, Ablesemen, Forrest Stump, Woodlend, Warmfront, Amy, Pisswell, Piltdown Man, Smellie, Ernie, Coldtits, Big End, Well Hopped, Roger the Dodger, Teapot, Mouldy Dick, Beeflicker & Triple Jump.

 

The Circle

Can't comment - wasn't there.

 

The Trail

Didn't do it. From the Down-Downs it appears to went through Milber.

 

The Down-Downs

Forrest Stump presided over a throng of hashers, the majority of which had adorned themselves with something red or pink. Forrest started by thanking the Hash for the beer. The Hash? Yes - apparently so.

 

Up first to give away an award was Melonpicker who had the horned hat from a few weeks ago.

 

"Where do you put important items - like your purse?"

 

The correct answer is not on top of your car and leaving them there overnight. This was further compounded by spending most of the next day searching your house from top to bottom looking for the elusive beer tokens that will carry you through the day. The deserving recipient was Slip-on-Me. A note for Soliloquy! (Please concentrate.)

 

Warmfront received a Down-Down but I can't remember from whom or for what reason. I am definitely turning into a doddery old git.

 

Next up was Mouldy. He blew the whistle on a perplexed Smellie for falling over somewhere in Milber. From the look of total bewilderment on Smellie's face this looked like a case of - never let the truth get in the way of a good story.

 

Archangel returned with the Hashshit shirt after a four week leave of absence. The recipient was Woodlend. I think for attempting to strangle his dog.

 

This exhausted the alcoholic down-downs, but a half pint of water remained.

 

Smellie had the last award to assign. Initially, it was going to be self-awarded due to Smellie believing, incorrectly, that she had left the Jester's hat at the Manor Inn last week. It was in her rucksack all along. 

 

Next in line would have been Woodlend for alleged cruelty to animals. But he'd already had his down-down. The ultimate recipient, and justly deserved, was Mouldy Dick. He had encouraged Smellie to start running again as they were approaching the sweetie stop. Thinking that they'd be running together, Smellie duly broke into a canter whilst Mouldy nonchalantly carried on walking. A note for "The Deceiver" as a sense of karma descended upon those gathered.

 

Groundhog Day

Finally, and in a repeat of the previous week, there was an incoming call from Smellie who was already on her way home with Piltdown Man.

 

"Hello. It's Smellie. Have I left a body warmer in the bar?"

 

"Is it blue and made by the The North Face?"

"Yes."

"You certainly have!"

 

Next week

Next week's Hash is at The Silent Whistle, Ashburton. Our Hare for the evening will be Pisswell.

 

On-On to next week and thank you for wearing red or pink. Hopefully, you all had an enjoyable Valentine's Day.