TVH3 The Words for 1st May 2023

The Thatched Tavern, Maidencombe

 

Hidden Devon & Bluebird's "75th" birthday Hash

 

Run. No. 1967

 

HARES: Bluebird & Man-Pig

 

 

Who wuz there: Bluebird, Man-Pig, Shitfaced, Teapot, Forrest Stump, Perry, Wetfart, Beefy, Pisswell, Piltdown Man, Georgy Porgy, Smellie, Beeflicker, Slip-on-Me, Well Hopped, Roger the Dodger, Cold Tits, Broadshit, Wet Johnny, Erection, Piddler, Satnav & Bobbiball (cycled over from Paignton!).

 

Circle

A beautiful 1st May - or Beltane - greeted 21 Hashers to The Thatched Tavern. GM Shitfaced welcomed all in the briefest of welcomes. Over to Hare raiser Smellie. "We're OK for Hares till mid summer". Well, that was brief as well. Over to the Hare. Bluebird said "Man-Pig will explain everything". Over to Man-Pig:

 

"It's not very long. There is a Long/Short split. Those on the Long, wait for me at the re-group as I will lay a live trail from there to "Hidden Devon" - but, beware. The ropes are over 10 years old. Do not rely on them too heavily".

 

Piddler asks, "How long is the Long?"

 

"2.64 miles", lies Bluebird.

 

"Is there a Walkers' trail" requests Wetfart.

 

"No. Just do the Longs' slowly", replies Man-Pig. "On-On is back up Steep Hill".

 

The Trail

This week there were no experiments and no bad weather. Just an old fashioned Hash with conventional marks - or an absence thereof? The trail was really very simple. Out to Labrador Bay car park on the upper part of the Southwest Coastal Path and a return to the pub via the lower coastal path.

 

The weather was kind. The skies were blue. The bluebells were out and the views were stunning. 

 

Being Beltane, Beefy elected to do the trail carrying a Ram's skull which he photographed at various backdrops along the route. 

 

In fact, quite a few Hashers were taking photos on trail. Spring is well and truly here. Smellie explained that pagans consider Beltane to be a religious holiday as it marks the beginning of growth and fertility. It also marked the ability to get back to the pub at 9.15 without using a torch.

 

As instructed, the Longs had waited at the regroup for the last of the Longs to arrive. These comprised Man-Pig, Beefy and Forrest Stump. The live trail was fairly short as Man-Pig had laid a trail below Labrador Bay car park, and then down the lower path that would eventually take you to Shaldon.

 

Then, suddenly, the Pig stopped - only to be crashed into by Beeflicker. Almost unnoticed on the right hand side of the path is a piece of grassless earth and a small gap in the hedge. Peering through the gap reveals a hidden and inaccessible wooded valley.

 

Did I say inaccessible? Take a harder look.....at your shoelaces. No. Not literally. But gazing footward one could see a rope descending a steep, worn escarpment. Yes, it was steep but just about manageable without a rope. The rope, however, was a welcome asset - even if it was at least 10 years old!

 

The Pig explained that this would be an out and back trail with no marks. Have a look around the valley and, if you dare, there is another series of ropes that will take you down onto the coastal stretch known as Rock Flats.

 

The Pig didn't really think that anyone would attempt the dodgy descent to the Rock Flats.

 

Another decidedly hazardous and near vertical descent we did was a decade ago. On that occasion (another Bluebird birthday trail) Hatrack picked us up in his coach from Maidencombe Cross and deposited us at The Ness car park in Shaldon. It was low tide and the trail took us along the coast; negotiating eight coves; clambering over the boulder fields and the razor sharp worn sandstone rocks. That trail ended up with us ascending several ropes from Border cove up to the lower coast path. I remember that trail well because my Garmin recorded an average speed of 1.94 miles per hour!

 

Well, I guess Hashers like a challenge. I got to the bottom of the first descent and everyone had disappeared! Where on earth had they gone? 

 

They'd all made a beeline for the descent to the Rock Flats. This involved another four ropes and, in truth, wasn't as difficult as the first descent. After the coastal exploration, it was back up and a trip to the "Hovel" where some industrious chappie has created a little abode for himself.

 

 

 

It is basically a dug-out but this one has a sink, a proper front door, glass windows, recesses cut out in the wall for candles, and an attempt has been made to render the internal walls with naturally occurring clay. It was fantastically rustic and all rather ethereal.

 

Time was pushing on and most of the Longs were already making their way back. Last to leave the Hidden Valley were Beeflicker, Pisswell and Man-Pig. 

 

We returned to Maidencombe via the lower path. This had not been marked until it joined up with the Shorts' return trail. The light was fading but not dangerously so. Man-Pig and Pisswell got back to the car park at 9.15. Not quite dark and quite manageable without a torch.

 

All-in-all, quite a mini adventure. Well done to Forrest for whom six roped descents and ascents posed little impediment. But most thanks must go to Bluebird for sharing one of south Devon's best kept secrets with the Hash. We hope that you enjoyed it.

 

Down-Downs

The original plan had been for a bamboo effigy of the Beltane Man to have been burnt on the beach but Ziggy (our Green Man) hadn't quite finished constructing the bamboo man so this will have to wait till next year. 

 

As a substitute, Bluebird had invited his shanty group Out of Tunas' to join with him in the pub and to sing their particular style of birthday wishes.

 

Forrest Stump assumed RA'ing for the evening. The first order of service was the Hash singing all the right notes, not necessarily in the right order, and Bluebird was duly awarded his birthday Down-Down.

 

Forrest asked if there were any awards from last week? There was only one present. But there should have been two.

 

Piddler had the Bacardi hat from last week and he had been on the Longs but was not back in the pub. He had been seen backtracking the outward Longs' trail after the visit to the Hidden Valley. We assumed that he had simply gone home straight after the run.

 

The only other award was the Hashshit shirt. Man-Pig had this from the previous week and he was going to give it to Piddler. However, there was a story to tell.

 

Today was Bluebird's big birthday.....or was it? Bluebird had gone to great lengths badgering Smellie to secure this date for his "Big Birthday".....75. However, when laying the trail earlier that day, Bluebird said to me, "Man-Pig. I've got a confession to make. I've made a mistake. It's not my big birthday till next year!" Whatamistakatomaka!

 

Accordingly, the Pillock shirt to the Pillock who can't remember his date of birth and another Down-Down. A song about Old MacDonald and tourettes.

 

Forrest asked if there were any more awards. There were none so Bluebird got a Down-Down for being Hare. He was now neck and neck with Smellie for three Down-Downs in a single evening....thankfully we moved on to half pints about 7 years ago.

 

The last half pint of beer was still to be awarded. Forrest asked, "Who saw the On Home sign two miles from the pub....and on a 2.64 mile trail?" You guessed it. The final half of ale went to Bluebird again. A Hash record. 

 

All Down-Downs to the same recipient.

 

Forrest thanked the pub for the parking and the chips. 

 

Bluebird, not wishing to take advantage of the generosity of the pub, had bought the four halves of beer - which he then downed! Hoorah!

 

The evening finished off with the Out of Tunas' singing a sea shanty about a girl and lost love.....we've all been there.

 

On leaving the pub, Bluebird turned to me and said, "Thankyou Man-Pig. I've had the most wonderful of days". It was touching and perhaps a little misplaced. I think it was the Hash that had had the most pleasant of evenings. 

Enjoy your birthday my friend.

 

Postscript by BB

A wonderful day and one I will fondly remember. I had Thomas Cooked the day last year when the error was made and I had naturally added a year in my mind.. All rather embarrassing but I'll have to stick with it as the pub won't put up with another BIG birthday next year!

 

Man-Pig and I had the very best of the weather on the lay. The hidden valley was magical and, who knows, but we may well be returning again sooner than you think..

 

Unfortunately, I am still most unfit after being three months out with injury and it wasn't possible for me to help MP lay the trail. I had gone out on Sunday for a recce and got very tired carrying half a sack of cat litter and the marks,, shades of MP the week before, got eroded by some hefty showers.

 

I did, however, help a bit on Monday afternoon by driving him out to Labrador Bay car park, dropping him off and then driving back home to wait for him to get back! That's what friends are for, sometimes. Yet again, Man-Pig saved the day. 

 

Thank you all for coming along and making the evening. I was overjoyed to see Bobby in the pub. He had cycled over from Paignton especially. I was also surprised to see five of our Out of Tunas (fifteen strong at gigs) drop by to join in the fun.

 

What a great day. Thank you everybody who made it so.

 

Not forgetting to thank MP for the bottle of Jura!

 

Next week

Next week's Hash is at Two Mile Oak with Hare, Only Here for the Beer.

 

On-On to next week.