TVH3 The Words for 9th September 2024

Manaton Church car park

Run No. 2040

 

HARE: Poacher

 

 

 

Who wuz there: Poacher, Shitfaced, Man-Pig, Archangel, Beefy, Beeflicker, Runner Bean, Peter, Piltdown Man, Georgy Porgy, Smellie, Ablesemen, Coldtits, Roger the Dodger, Big End, Well Hopped, Ned, Psycho, Satnav, Polyfella and Fukarewe

 

Circle

The Circle got underway after some initial confusion as to the run number. Shitfaced welcomed all to run no. 2037 whilst Man-Pig corrected him stating that it was, in fact, 2040. Smellie checked her phone.

"It's 2037".

"No it isn't. We count the three runs from the 40th weekend," asserts the Pig.

"Sunday's run was by City of Exeter", says Shitfaced.

"By invitation courtesy of TVH3".

"It's getting dark. Hurry up!" interjects Archangel.

So over to Smellie for the current state of Hare Raizing in TVH3.

"We're full to the end of the year. If you want to lay next year, see me!"

Over to the Hare.

 

The only information that Poacher imparted was that there were a lot of fields with livestock in so dogs on leads please....glaring at Slip-on-Me.

"My dog's a good dog".

It wouldn't be too long before we could put that to the test.....eh Big End?

"Check it out".

 

Trail

It's been a long time since we last ran from here, and it really is a lovely spot. I think that we were last here two years ago when Pisswell had us all in the village hall drinking out of cardboard sample receptacles. Although I think that one or two of the Walkers made it down to the Kestor Inn for a swifter.

 

Prior to that was four years ago. Again on a Poacher trail with a Hare that was nowhere to be seen at the Circle and a half laid nine-and-a half mile trail. What would our veteran Hare have in store for us this evening? Hopefully not another 9.5 miles!

 

Rocket scientist, Runner Bean, and his brother, Peter, were the FRB's and checking out the public footpath that runs through the graveyard. Slip-on-Me's untethered mutt was checking out the graves and experienced hashers were gazing at the check on the road outside the church.

 

As soon as you leave the back of the graveyard there is a choice of footpath. Straight on was being checked out by Runner Bean and to the right Beeflicker was looking for that elusive third dot of flour, "Always on the right" according to Poacher.....except when it's in the middle as it turned out.

 

"On back" calls Poacher to Runner Bean as the rest of the pack now followed Beeflicker up to Manaton Rocks for a lovely 360 degree view of the surrounding countryside, including Haytor and Saddletor silhouetted against the dimming sky. I think all made it to the top of Manaton Rocks before we were back on trail. 

 

Initially, there was a steep descent over a slippery rocky footpath to the first of two Long/Short splits. This was really for the Walkers who would have a short trip back to the cars. For the Longs, more slippery rocky footpath and then across an open field and onto road at Langstone. 

 

Runner Bean was well put of sight. Psycho and Beeflicker had checked out in the wrong direction and were now running past us just as we reached the road. And they kept on running, past the kicked out check at Neadon.

 

Man-Pig, Big End and Fukarewe followed the kicked-out check in the correct direction towards Foxworthy Bridge, eventually catching up with Beefy at another check. The Pig checked right...and wrong!

 

The trail followed a broad concrete farm track downhill before another check just above the river had us bear right and into Neadon Cleeve. 

 

At the next check and it was right and up a steep incline and over two fallen trees, one of which had been chainsawed in half to keep the path open. I recognised this as being part of March's (pre-Grizzly A2B). Up and up we went eventually levelling off.

 

At Horsham we were back on a wide track and running through a pair of wrought iron gates. It looked like there must be a big old house somewhere nearby but we never saw it. 

 

At a 90 degree bend, Poacher was remarking the second Long/Short split. Fukarewe was in two minds about going Long when Poacher simply said.

"You're doing it".

And so he did.

 

Runner Bean, Beeflicker, Pycho and Beefy must have been well ahead, leaving Man-Pig, Big End, Fukarewe as tailenders on the Long - or so we thought, and with Poacher sweeping. Unbeknown to us, someone was still behind us. Any guesses as to who this might be?

 

The Shorts followed a path that was pretty much a bee-line straight back to the car park. The Longs headed southeast through Letchole Plantation until a back-check had us into woodland for a short while before entering the northern edge of Manaton (actually called "Water" on the OS map) and joining the road back to the car park just north of the pub. Big End and I found a single dot and then, 300 yards later the "OH" sign for the final leg upto the car park.

 

A vey picturesque and enjoyable 3.6 miles. Thankyou Poacher......and no-one had got lost - or had they?

 

Down-Downs

No Forrest-Stump. He must be rehearsing for the Dunsford pantomime...."Oh no he isn't". Hence the Pig RA's.

 

It has been a long, long time since TVH3 were officially at the Kestor Inn as the On-Down. Four years according to Poacher and that was on the occasion of his 9.5 mile epic.

 

Gradually the pub began to fill up with eaters devouring their choice of chips or cheesy chips......whenever someone mentions Cheesy Chips I always think of Rambo. His staple hash diet I think. Georgy is anxiously looking at her phone.

"What's up?"

"Smellie's not back".

"Is she on the Shorts or the Longs?"

"Longs. But it's alright. I've told her to turn left at the main road and to come straight to the pub rather than all the way back to the car park", which is exactly 0.4 of a mile away according to Piltdown Man.

Beefy and I look at each other.

"I bet she ends up at the car park", stated Thomas Aquinas.

"No", says the Jack of Hearts - Beefy.

"A fiver on it"

"Done"

Ten minutes later Smellie arrives - unflustered.

"Have you done the Longs?"

"Yes".

"Bugger. You've cost me money"

A fiver changes hands and Smellie looks perplexed but says nothing.

 

Sometime later, in conversation, it transpires that Smellie did go back to the car park. Money changes hands again. Smellie is none the wiser.

 

The Kestor Inn made us most welcome. The pub had cooked surplus chips and these were passed round. We also had a staggering 7 half pints of ale provided by the pub. It was good to be back. Yes indeedee. But how on earth were we going to generate seven stories of dubious authenticity? But, where there's a will, there's a way.

"Do we have any awards?"

Beefy actually has two awards, the Jester's Hat and the Checking Chicken Hat. The checking Chicken Hat is put to one side for a later award whilst Beefy looks for a suitable victim.....errr.....deserving recipient.

The hat goes to Fukarewe. But, what for? For revealing his bank transactions over the Hash weekend a whole list of £4.60 debits; the cost of a single pint of ale at Teignmouth RFC. Clearly he hasn't been buying any rounds! A note for, "He's the meanest, he sucks......"

 

Next up is Big End with the Hashshit shirt. This goes straight to Slip-on-Me. What for? Because, within 60 seconds of starting the trail, her "good dog" is unleashed and running around the graveyard. "Here's to the dog trainer...."

 

Shitfaced adopts the Checking Chicken hat and awards it to Smellie. Yes, she was last back....again. But this was for a pre-trail misdemeanour. Shitfaced and Smellie were in conversation just before she ran off saying:

"I've got to go dogging!"

What she actually said was, " I have to lock the dog in" (the car). Not good enough. "Here's to the dogger".

Ablesemen has a story. Someone was very late getting to the Hash and did his own trail, didn't they Polyfella? "Here's to the late one...."

 

It is also someone's birthday tomorrow. And that person is......the Hare. Poacher has arranged the Down-Downs but has forgotten to arrange for one of those DD's to be a cider. He decides to down half of his own pint of cider to the accompaniment of all the right notes, but not necessarily in the right order.

 

One of our young athletes is leaving us to go north and start work......as a ROCKET SCIENTIST. True story. Runner Bean is joining a team in Elgin (north Scotland) who are working on a commercial rocket that will put payloads into orbit. Additionally, this rocket will be launched from the UK. It has re-usable booster stages that parachute back to earth and it runs on liquid bio-propanol and liquid oxygen. Best of all, Elgin actually has a hash. All the very best to you on you new, high flying, position. A note for, "The Rocket Scientist", what else?

 

Finally, there are two Hashers that have nothing better to do in their lives than arrive at the Hash half an hour early. This is definitely a first for Archangel. Maybe he's setting a good example for Psycho who was also ridiculously early. Fortunately, there are two beers left. "Get a life.get a life, life,life etc"

And so concluded the Down-Downs. A "thankyou" to Poacher for a lovely twighlight trail and a very big "thankyou" to the Kestor Inn for making us so welcome upon our long awaited return.

 

Next week

Next week's Hash is from Beefy's residence on the outskirts of Widecombe-in-the-Moor. It is his birthday Hash. Parking is a little tight so please consider parking in Widecombe car park and car sharing from there........ oh, definitely bring your torches.

 

On-On to next week. MP