"Hallow'een Fancy Dress Run"

TVH3 The Words for 28th October 2024

The Brunswick Arms

 

Run No. 2047

 

HARES: Soapy, Melonpicker & Palmolive

 

Who wuz there: Soapy, Melonpicker, Palmolive, Shitfaced, Man-Pig, Beeflicker, Piltdown Man, Georgy Porgy, Pork Torpedo, Horny, Wetfart, U-Bend, Strap-On, Ernie, Corey, Slip-on-Me, Coldtits, Satnav, Ablesemen, Smash, Psycho, Warmfront, Polyfella, Red Rum, Roger the Dodger, Ned & Nice Tackle visiting from South Hams H3

 

Circle

I was going to name this run Four Weddings and a .....er no, "Two Run Badges and A Naming". However, this might have been a distraction from the fantastic Halloween costumes and make-up adorned by almost all present. It was unseasonably balmy and this had an impact on some Hashers' body temperature as the run progressed. In fact, some were visibly misting up!

 

We had the usual smattering of witches and ghouls, Mr Hydes, skeletons, mad axe murderers (American Psycho apparently), polytunnels, ladies of the night and Slash from Guns & Roses. Some of the faceprint was remarkable. I am amazed that the make-up doesn't start running as one builds up a sweat but the faceprint looked as good in the pub as it had done in the Circle. Well done.

 

There were a few announcements. First was about the run in a fortnight's time. This would be Ablesemen's run and it is from the Highweek Inn, Newton Abbot. Able announced that Haldon Hash would also be running from the same venue. I do not know if there are separate trails or would we be sharing a common trail? I guess that we'll find out in a fortnight.

 

Man-Pig had received a telephone call from Forrest Stump regarding next week's bonfire Hash. Yes. It is going ahead and Forrest has already constructed a huge bonfire. Forrest will be providing roadkill stew and beer. However, Hashers are requested to bring along their own drinking vessel, KFS (knives, forks, spoons) and a plate each....if you want to eat and imbibe. Additionally, please bring along a firework or two.

 

Man-Pig also advised that he had spoken to Broken Man during the week. He is now contactable on Fallen Woman's mobile number. He has sold his large camper van and got a smaller one. He spent much of the summer travelling around France and Spain which he enjoyed very much. He is back in Brixham now. 

 

This week, being half term, he has his daughters and their families visiting him so he is going to be a busy grandpa. Nevertheless, he is planning on making a return to the Hash and I am sure that he'd be delighted to hear from any Hashers in the meantime.

 

So, what do the Hares have in store for us this evening?

 

Soapy briefs us that there is a single trail. No separate Long, Short or Walkers' trails per se. One trail but with 4 Long/Short splits. Walkers should do all the Shorts which will result in a distance of circa 2 miles. The last of the Longs is the Longest loop. Those embarking all 4 Longs will end up covering circa 4 miles. Mix and match your Long/Short splits to your preferred distance.

The pub is doing chips or cheesy chips and you can order after the run.

Soapy points to the western end of the car park; "On is that way".

 

TRAIL

We ran upstream and to the first Long/Short split. The Longs ran across a small footbridge over the river for a circular loop around Dawlish Water only to arrive back on the same footbridge....crafty. Soapy and Palmolive then had us back on the Short and on another loop around the edge of a park that took us onto Church Street and the second Long/Short split. 

 

The Longs proceeded north along Church Street and then left along Weech Road and a back check. We soon found a near concealed alleyway that took us to Vicarage Gardens and Stonelands Park Roads. Once again Soapy and Palmolive were ahead of us and directed back down the public footpath off Aller Hill and back to the second Long/Short split outside the church....again.

 

The Longs are reunited with the Shorts as we climb up Oak Hill and then divert into and out of a footpath that runs parallel with the road. A check, or is it the third Long/Short, split has us descending down John Nash Drive before entering Oaklands Wood. This seems familiar. Were we anywhere near the Smugglers Inn? If so, this used to be well trodden TVH3 territory but many, many moons ago.

 

Melonpicker keeps calling "On-On", guiding us to the sweetie stop or, for some, the sweaty stop.

 

Psycho has misted up and is flapping around big time in an attempt to create a draft to dispel some of the accumulated condensation. I don't recall American Psycho having this problem. Everyone else tucked into chewy eyeballs and chocolate pumpkins....very topical/tropical.

 

We were soon at the final, and longest, of the Long/Short splits. I traipsed behind Ernie and Corey as we followed a footpath along the southern edge of Oaklands Wood up to Oak Hill Cross Road. The trail stayed within the field and looped back to Soapy and Palmolive who pointed us down footpath onto Bunting Way. The FRB's overshot another alleyway that took us onto the Teignmouth Road before we ended up heading up John Nash Drive then right and into Nash Gardens before following a footpath running parallel with Teignmouth Road.

 

Across the road and we were on very recent and familiar territory; at least for those on the TVH3 40th anniversary weekend. The marks took us down the cliff footpath, past the bandstand and down towards Marine Parade before crossing ver the railway line and down to the underpass at the railway station. At this point Polyfella was leading the Longs. 

 

The Pig was cheating and remained on Marine Parade waving at Polyfella who was now on the other side of the tracks. Meanwhile, the Topiary Twins were catching up fast. Pysycho could be mistaken for a steam train the amount of water vapour that was escaping from her fancy dress.

Just before the pub we came across the OH sign. Shortly thereafter we encountered the Walkers and the Shorts who had already got changed and were heading beer wards.

 

A good old fashioned Hash. Not a lot to separate the Longs, Shorts and Walkers time wise. I'd say that was the sign of a well laid trail!

 

Down-Downs

What did we think of the trail? Excellent. Very old school keeping the pack together with twists and turns. A good mixture of town and country with some lovely night-time views of the Dawlish seafront on the descent down to Marine Drive. Well done Hares.

 

So, who has an award from previous weeks? There is only one. It is the Jester's hat and it currently resides with Horny....but not for long. Horny has two stories. The first is about on Harriet who has been cultivating mushrooms in her hot house whilst on trail. This refers to Psycho who does not wish to get blood all over her new business suit:

"Saville Row ma'am?"

"No. Jimmy Saville"

 

In order to avoid the inevitable blood stains and accompanying dry cleaning bill as a result of her axe murdering rampage she has decided to protect herself by wrapping herself in transparent polythene. Clever eh? Perhaps not so clever when you're a fast FRB. As the trail progressed so did the build up of condensation. At the sweetie stop Pyscho was trying hard to introduce some air vents into her polytunnel....without success. Never mind. At least you will have had some fresh mushrooms for this morning's breakfast.

 

Despite Psycho's faux pas she did not get a Down-Down. Instead we have a short sighted Hasher. Barton Lane car park is huge and relatively empty. Some parts of the car park are well lit, other parts not. This particular Hasher parks in the best lit part of the car park. These are the spaces for the only two charging points for electric cars. Does he have an electric car? No. But he does have a conscience and elects for a half pint of water accompanied by, "The grand old Duke of York....." didn't you Wetfart?

 

Warmfront, she of the matching Man-Pig skeleton (definitely go faster) suit is summoned forth for what I think was asking if there was parking outside the pub. This was after she'd parked up in Barton Lane car park which is 100m from the pub!

 

There is a Run Badge to award. It is 400 runs. Piltdown Man has insider knowledge and correctly "guesses" Satnav. We have the Songmeister with us and I think Satanav gets "Twenty toes".

 

Amazingly, there are no more stories but there is an item of lost property, a witches' hat. But which witch is which? In a Cinderellaesque piece of detective work the RA goes around the room searching out a head to match the hat from the dozen or so witches gathered. Eventually a perfect fit. It is the Hare - Soapy. She selects a beer and the Songmeister pipes up with the Aladdin's Lamp song.

 

As there were no more stories, the GM produces another run milestone badge. This time it is a 100 run badge. Initial guesses fall upon Roger the Dodger. No. Not him. It is, in fact, Ernie. Ernie elects for a glass of water and is treated to part two of the Aladding song. Something about paint brushes and the Sultan's favourite camel.

 

A naming. A naming. Ernie's grandson, Corey, has yet to be named. Suggestions are few but those that are suggested all centre around Benny Hill's single, "Ernie", and he drove that fastest milk cart in the West. We get suggestions of: Ten Ton Ted from Teckington, simply TED and Triple T. We settle on "Ten Ton Ted".

 

Corey kneels before the RA who anoints him in the name of the Great Hash God. Then, lo and behold, a real miracle. In the blink of the eye Ten Ton Ted's beer has changed into water.....an anti-miracle. The Songmeister comes up with, "Old McDonald had tourets..."

 

With so many drivers wanting a glass of water there is a half of cider looking for an owner. This is a bit like last week when there was a pair of socks and a tracksuit bottom left at the Cockhaven Arms which were also looking for their owner, weren't they Coldtit's?

 

Coldtits dispatches the last Down-Down and it is "On" to next week.

 

A great fancy dress turnout. Thankyou.

 

Next week

Next week's Hash is from the Forrest Stump residence, Tinkley Bottom in the Teign Valley. This is IMPORTANT. If you want food and beer you must bring your own drinking vessel and eating implements Namely, beer mug, plate, knife, fork and a spoon for the gravy. Also, bring a firework or two if you have them.

 

On-On to next week. MP