TVH3 The Words for 10th March 2025

Maddacombe Farm barn

Run No. 2066 Revenge of the WereRabbit

 

HARES: Cheerio Beerio & Martin

 

Who wuz there: Cheerio Beerio, Shitfaced, Only Here for the Beer, Man-Pig, Forrest-Stump, Beeflicker, Beefy, Pisswell, Pocket Rocket, Poacher, Coldtits, Smellie, Psycho, Forest-Stump, Miss'ing, Melon-Picker, Soapy, Roger the Dodger, Ernie, Red Rum, Sarah, Smash, Miss Mash, Slip-on-Me, Ablesemen, Archangel, Pork Torpedo, Horny, Base Camp, Threesum and Two Little Schitz

 

Circle

Melonpicker commenced the announcements with an update on both Broken Man and Teapot. Soapy and Melonpicker had been over to see Broken Man a couple of weeks ago. Basically, he is OK and his daughters visit fairly regularly. However, Broken Man hasn't been out with any of the Hashes recently which I think we should all be aware of. The last time that I saw Broken Man on a Hash was at the South Hams pre-Xmas Hash weekend in Brixham where he was helping out with the drinks stops. All seemed well enough then so I am just a little concerned that he appears not to have been out since. Soapy & Melonpicker had also phoned Teapot. Teapot is fine and very much welcomes hearing from the Hash. However, he is still tired and his mobility does ebb and flow a little so he is looking forward to meeting up with us again as soon as his mobility improves.

 

Smellie requires Hares from 14th April onwards.

 

Man-Pig gave us a reminder of Twin Buffers' funeral arrangements as St Mary Magdalene Church, which is actually on Union Street in the Upton area of Torquay. Details should be on the TVH3 webpage and they are definitely on the SH4 webpage.

 

Soapy also has some news. The Devon Hashes are applying to host NashHash in 2027, exactly 30 years after it was first hosted in Devon.

 

Finally, Shitfaced advises that he is not available to continue in the role of GM after April due to work commitments. Are there any volunteers for this prestigious position? - you do get perks i.e. a free stick!

So, over to the Hare.

 

Cheerio explained that there were the three usual trails. The Walkers' would be about 2.5 miles, Shorts' 4 miles and Longs' maybe 5.5 miles. "The first and last part of the trail are along the same route but you will realise this when you reach it. Turn right at the road."

 

Trail

Trail? What trail?

Initially, all was well and good. We climbed Maddacombe Road up to its highest point by Foredown kennels before a large arrow has us turn right and into Kerswell Downs. Man-Pig, Forrest-Stump, Slip-on-Me and Ablesemen comprised the Walkers; the former two on account of having done The Grizzly the previous day.

 

At the edge of the wood, there was what appeared to be an arrow but it was a little indistinct. We took the broadest track up to the open part of the Downs that runs along the top of the north ridge. There were no marks. But it didn't matter. We weren't in a rush so we were happy to do our own thing.

Eventually, the open downs give way to woodland. We pass through one of the two stone walls that separate Kerswell Downs from Whilborough Common and spy our first blob of floor - but it is on our left. Are we doing the Trail in reverse?

 

The next two blobs are on the right. Then we see torchlight coming towards us. It is the FRB's (well, most of them). They have been onto Whilborough Common only to find an arrow pointing back into the woods.

 

Forrest and the Pig have lost contact with the other Walkers and are now on their own. We get onto the Common convinced that we will finds marks - but no. We elect to take the narrower of the two tracks that drop down onto Bickleigh Road near Brook Cottage and simply make our way back. It is 8.45 and we are not first back; nor are we the last back.

 

From speaking with Cheerio and viewing Miss'ing's trail map, it looks like we went wrong from the moment we entered the woods. I suspect that we should have followed the central track through Kerswell Downs, straight across Whilborough Common and then down the farm track known as Common's Lane. This joins up with Doctor Mac's Lane/Poo Lane (local names) where we should have gone right, past Long Barn, and into North Whilborough. Then, first right and up and then down Mill Lane onto Bickleigh Road opposite the Bickleigh Mill Inn.

 

Next, the Longs undertook an anticlockwise loop up the track called Compton Lane. Then its left and up Whilborough Road for a short jog until a right and up the steep track called Windmill Lane (and for good reason). At the top, there is a real windmill - but no sails alas. Left at Moles Lane and the long downhill drop towards Kingkerswell. But well before the village the marks are taking the Longs back into North Whilborough via Burnthouse Hill....at least it is downhill.

 

This is where the Longs find themselves running back on themselves to rejoin the Shorts which I am guessing was at the junction of Common's Lane and Doctor Mac's Lane.

 

Well, I don't know who did what trail wise. All I can think is that, despite the best efforts of mice and men (Cheerio Beerio & martin), they appear to have been undone overnight by the actions of the wererabbits!

 

Down-Downs

Irrespective of what sort of trail you undertook, Only Here for the Beer's hospitality was exemplary as usual. The barbecue was fired up and it wasn't cold outside. Basecamp, however, had moved the fire pit away from the hay bales.....a wise move.

 

Shitfaced was on cooking duty and doing a pretty good job of it. Miss'ing was, in fact, not Miss'ing at all. She was back at the barn and enjoying a burger and a beer....no star gazing lessons this evening sadly.

 

After most people had enjoyed a bit of scran it was Down-Down time with Forrest presiding. We start by thanking OHFB for his hospitality and the venue and then it is onto the Down-Downs.

Amazingly, there are awards present. Basecamp has the Union Jack stove hat. Almost inevitably, this went to the Hare....but there's a problem. Cheerio will be sick if she has a beer.....and beer is all that there is. There is not even a glass of water in sight. Fortunately, Cheerio has brought her own beverage. It looks like antifreeze but we are assured that it is vodka based and not ethylene glycol based. She takes a couple of swigs whilst Pork Torpedo leads us in S.H.I..Y. T.R.A.I.L.

 

Threesum has the Horned Hat. I think this might have gone to our host, OHFB. Pork Torpedo leads us into another song. I think it is, "He's the meanest. He sucks....." etc.

 

There are no more awards so Forrest blames poor old Man-Pig for taking him off trail and getting lost in his own back yard. These are, of course, mistruths. I think the real story has its origins in the Pig's failure to match fluid intake with fluid loss the previous day....and he has the scars to show for it....feckwit! I have no idea what song Pork Torpedo came up with but Mrs Man-Pig's instructions not too have a beer rather went out of the window.

 

Psycho was feeling a little under the weather and managed to avoid her seventh consecutive Down-Down so Forrest nominates himself to have a well deserved Down-Down. this is, ostensibly, for having complete the Grizzly for the seventeenth time! Well done. However, Pork Torpedo's ditty was not quite as flattering, "You're a c**t, c**t, c**t to the tune of "get a life....."

 

[I wonder if this will get through facebook's language control protocols?]

 

Next week

Next week's Hash is from The Devon Dumpling, Shiphay with Beefy Haring.

 

On-On to next week, MP