TVH3 The Words for 21 April 2025

The Ship Inn, Chudleigh

Run No. 2072

Easter Bank Holiday Monday

HARES: Hotlips & Zoot

 

Who wuz there: Hotlips, Zoot, Pocket Rocket, Man-Pig, Pisswell, Beefy, Poacher, Piltdown Man, Georgy Porgy, Smellie, Coldtits, Melon Picker, Soapy, Beeflicker, Wet-Johnny, Manopause, Red Rum, Tit Babbler (Mane Attraction), Psycho, Ablesemen, Slip-on-Me, U-Bend & Wetfart

 

Circle

Bank holidays. What is there about them? Our attendance on a bank holidays are usually a tale of feast or famine. Not so this evening - a respectable turn-out of 23.

 

Our GM welcomed all and announced that next week's trail would be from the Dartmoor Half Way Inn, near Bickington, on the Newton Abbot to Ashburton road.

 

No announcements from Smellie or anyone else save Soapy. She gave an announcement in respect of what many may have seen on PorkTorpedo's facebook page. Very regrettably, Pork Torpedo and Horny's granddaughter was born 'asleep' on 10 April. It is something that no parent or grandparent should ever go through and our thoughts are with them and the family. Pork Torpedo and Horny are not ones for lying down and doing nothing. Hence, throughout May, they will run 31 miles. This will be in support of the SANDS charity whose details can be found on Pork Torpedo's & Soapy's Facebook pages. We wish them every success with both the runs and the fund raising.

 

So, it is over to the Hares for a little information....and it was little. "There is a Walk of about 2 miles, a Shorts' of about 3 and the Longs' trail is 5. Turn right over there".

 

Trail

For seasoned Hashers what could possibly go wrong in such familiar territory? New housing estates. That's what!

 

The trail exited the car park via the public footpath up to the main road where we duly turned right and ran down Fore Street and past the Bishop Lacy to the first Shorts/Walkers & Longs' split. 

 

Well, that was confusing. The Walkers and the Longs on the same route? But it was, apparently, correct. The Shorts carried on down through the centre of Chudleigh whilst the Walkers & Longs detoured down Old Way and looped back round to the far end of Fore Street before arriving at the first Long/Short split. However, this simple loop was not without its issues.

 

The marks had been good so far. However, a longer than usual gap between marks had the FRB's returning whence they came believing they had missed a mark. 

 

Pisswell and the Pig checked around a new housing estate but to no avail. Then there was a call from back where the FRB's had just been. A little local knowledge had the Pig take a short cut that was not, in fact, a short cut. It was a loop around a field as he'd forgotten where this part of the public footpath actually went. The net result was that it was another 20 minutes before he saw another of the Longs. But all was not lost. Pisswell did find where the path actually went and, as a consequence thereof, managed to catch up with the Longs.

 

The Walkers headed back towards Chudleigh town centre whilst the Longs and the Shorts crossed the main road to follow the trail down a public footpath, past Lawell House and out onto a lane near Winstow Cottages. 

 

The trail now stayed on road whilst we tracked past the stone wall that forms the rear boundary to Ugbrook House. As soon as the woods to our left gave way to open fields, an arrow had us cross the road and commence a descent along the public footpath that drops down to the bottom of the valley.

In the far distance, I could see Smellie, Pisswell and Coldtits in their hi-vis. In the near distance I could see the Hares wondering where I'd been.

 

At the edge of Chudleigh, an arrow has us running back towards town before a kicked-out check has us bear right on a newish public footpath before arriving at the second Long/Short split that Coldtits had inadvertently missed. 

 

The Shorts crossed a new bridge over Kate Brook and headed for home. For the Longs, it was another loop. We followed the public footpath up to Kate Bridge and then the lane towards Brimley Corner but not before a minor detour on a 200 yard length of track that runs next to Kate Brook. Here I caught up with Red Rum and Smellie. Not far ahead was Pisswell. Inevitably, at Brimley Corner we come to a check that is kicked-out top our left.

 

It is not long before we are on the final leg back to Chudleigh. I have a lonely canter along the footpath that leads to the back of Chudleigh playing fields. These two fields are usually sodden ...even in the summer. Not so this evening. It is approaching twilight and this will be our first run without torches.....hoorah! At last, the OH sign, almost outside the Ship Inn. A tad over 5 miles.

 

Down-Downs

Pisswell is RA but might need some musical accompaniment from the Pig. Proceedings are delayed a little while whilst we wait for Coldtits who has embarked on the Long - good girl. Poacher is somewhat befuddled as it is usually Smellie who is last back. Not so this evening. In fact, she is the one on corralling duty, checking up on where missing Hashers have got to.

 

In next to no time we are all present and correct and the show gets on the road. Pisswell starts by thanking the pub for the beer.

 

The first two Down-Downs go to the Hares for a lovely trail....in daylight. The Pig is asked to lead us all in "Twenty Toes".

 

There is one award present and, unsurprisingly, Psycho has it. Unfortunately, she does not have a story so she simply awards it to our new RA. Why? Because she is RA. "Here's to the new RA...."

 

The final down down needs a story and Beeflicker has one. It is a story about a Harriet and the lengths that she will go to to get a young man's attention. This involves training a dog to look confused but he must be strategically placed where members of staff will see him and come to his/his owner's aid. The mutt is placed in front of the glass sliding doors at Sainsbury's Newton Abbot. The dog is well trained. Every time that the doors open he takes a step forwards. Every time they close he takes a step backwards. Initially, nothing happens but eventually a female member of staff comes out to investigate. This is not what the Harriet was expecting. She has has her eyes on the young man assisting senior shoppers back to their cars. Harriet and dog take a break and walk around the block and try again. Once more a female assistant comes to our Harriet's aid. This will never do. A coffee later our demon duo try for the third time. Success, the charming young man with the curly hair comes to our Harriet's assistance. She is so delighted with his assistance that she gives him a Mars bar and a £10 note with her telephone number on it. So who is our machiavellian damsel in distress? It is Slip-on-Me. A note for "The abuser". I still don't know if the abused was the young man with the curly hair or the dog. In fact, Beefy and I couldn't really hear what was going on. Never mind. Never let the truth get in the way of a good story!

 

Next week

Next week's Hash is from the Dartmoor Halfway Inn on the Newton Abbot to Bickington Road. Our Hare is, once more, Poacher.

 

On-On to next week, M-P.