The Words for Hash #2074 or, "The Pig lays down on Plainmoor."

Anyway, the Grand Parade of Lifeless Packaging (who was there(!)) is as follows:

Manpig, Bluebird, Ernie, Pisswell, Big End, Well Hopped, Wet Johnny, Coldtits, Pollyfella, Georgie P'Orgy, Piltdown Man, Wet Fart, Melon Picker, Soapy, Bee Flicker, Smash, Miss Mash, Pocket Rocket, Red Rum, Beefy and, returnee, Flowery Twats. Carpet Crawlers (pub only) were Shitfaced, initially but disappeared, Bobbiball and Teapot.

 

At the Circle, Soapy reminded us that next week is a cake auction, in aid of SANDS charity so, bring cake and/ or cash to buy cake please.

 

Monday was one of Bluebird's birthdays so Manpig was Hare. Co- Hare Poacher's absence was owing to vehicle breakdown. Manpig explained that his Trail graced the edge of the Haldon Trail and had helped us distinguish his by dint of large, friendly, upper case letter "T"s. After all, we don't want to Trespass!

 

The starting gun is (figuratively) fired. So, as happy as fish and gorgeous as geese, twenty one went on Trail along the St. Marychurch Road towards St. Marychurch and Babbacombe (formerly two distinct villages).

 

We found ourselves in Cary Park, and ran through the park and along Cary Avenue whence we were called back by the Hare. Back we went to the missed split where the birthday Bird vouchsafed that the Trail is the reverse of last year's. "I care not!" quoth I, "for I recall little of last week's let alone last year's!"

 

The Watcher in Skies could give evidence if needed.

 

We headed for the Downs and on to the Cliff Railway. Down the adjacent steps we ran. Beefy ran past the right turn, under the rails, followed by Pollyfella and Bee Flicker but then we ran back to it after hearing "On" called.

 

The pack followed a path down to the beach. Can-utility and the Coastliners we were as we headed for Babbacombe beach, past the waterfall (his madrigal) and inshore sea (his symphony) and saw no Silent Sorrow in Empty Boats, only Horizons.

 

We bade "farewell", to Bluebird, at the Cary Arms, where he followed the walkers. The rest of us headed for Anstey's cove.

 

Up we climbed, following the Trail across Wall's Hill where Big End remarked on the Orchid (a flower?) population. Then down we dropped and were Riding the Scree in a Ravine when suddenly, we perceived what appeared to be a Sweetie Stop in the car park. And so it was, for Haldon Hash, anyway.

A pair of tables, on squeaky feet, stood at the back of an estate car with drinks and treats upon them and gaily festooned with lights. Where there is food there are wild things floating about, in the form of gulls so, the cakes were stored, temporarily, on the back seat of the car. And gulled by Pisswell's rhetoric, one of the S/S keepers handed over a crisp. An Aisle of Plenty awaited H4, for sure.

 

Meanwhile, TV front runners were searching everywhere for the Trail. Soapy was trying to show the way just as a marching column of H4 emerged from a woodland path which, the Hare confirmed now also, was On.

 

Sure enough, a series of "T"s showed us the way. So, through Asheldon Copse we ran, on to Babbacombe Road. Bee Flicker and I ran on until we found other marks. Pollyfella joined us and, between us, we worked out that we were seeing marks that bore little resemblance to those of the 'Pig. Luckily, Pollyfella remembered, from last year, where we should be.

 

Liquid Len and his smashed bottle men ran back and found themselves back On Trail.

 

Up through a narrow wooded area we were led, emerging at the junction of Quinta Road and Windsor Road, which we crossed to enter Warberry Copse. We rejoined Windsor Road which took us, more or less, straight back On Home via Spires secondary school and Plainmoor football ground.

 

At around five and a half miles covered, over some mixed and testing terrain, I feel we had our money's worth. And, we do like to be beside the seaside.

 

We'll done Manpig, you produced the goods again.

 

At the On Down, Supper's Ready for £3 in the pot, if we can find a pot. Pisswell was on duty as RA and awarded Supersonic Scientist, Manpig, a Down-down for his Trail.

 

Coldtits took water for straying onto the H4 Trail (don't tell: they'll charge her a quid!). Ernie did his best to give a Down-down to the RA with all sorts of accusations (which I don't recall now) but, Pisswell turned it into a returnee award. Wonderful potion for Flowery Twats and water for Teapot.

At the RA's request, Manpig (activating his prayer capsule) paid tribute to Bluebird, our Guaranteed Eternal Sanctuary Man, for reaching another Birthday and another Down-down.

 

Soapy was awarded the jester's hat for having her cleverness ignored. After The Ordeal of banter, laughter, (ahem) singing and other general rowdiness (which confused and amused some regulars), the Hash dispersed gradually.

 

Bluebird did as he promised: he sang. It was a Cinema Show of a performance and everyone was impressed, truly. Many Happy Returns of the Day, Bluebird. We miss you at the Hash and we hope to see you more often.

 

As you know, there is always a space with your name on it! On on.

 

Somehow, I volunteered to write the Words: More Fool Me. It was a slow process but, I thought: Get 'Em Out By Friday, it'll be all right.

 

On on, Beefy.