A WARM WELCOME FROM TVH3

Welcome to the Teign Valley Hash House Harriers of glorious South Devon. You are guaranteed a warm welcome and a great hash experience. We are the 'Party Hash' and we run from pubs all over Torbay, Dartmoor and the Teign Valley every Monday evening at 7.15pm. Our trails are marked with flour, chalk or sawdust and take in woodland, streams, byways, bridle paths and rolling countryside. We cater for all abilities, you needn't worry about keeping up, a leisurely walk with others or a good paced run if you're fit - you choose. The run duration is anything from 30 minutes to an hour and the distance is normally between 3-6 miles depending on whether you decide to take a short or long trail. Your first run is free, so come along and give it a go! After the run hashers enjoy a drink and food in the pub. On many occasions, the pub will lay on a 'Hash Menu', food specially for hashers.

WHAT TO EXPECT AT YOUR FIRST HASH

Starts soon after 7:15 pm each Monday.
The Grandmaster will gather the hash together in a circle and welcome Virgins & Visitors to TVH3 and inform the group of pertinent news or upcoming events.
Hares will announce details or the trail, number of long and short splits and regroups.

Down-Downs - sometimes at the circle but usually in the pub after the run. Hashers and harriets (lady hashers) have a half pint and under age hashers have a soft drink or water. If you are driving, just ask the RA for water.

A Down-Down is a means of punishing, rewarding, or merely recognizing an individual for any action or behavior. Once awarded, the downdown must be drunk without pause, otherwise the RA may take action!

Individuals may be recognized for outstanding service, or for their status as a visitor or newcomer.

Down-Downs also serve as punishment for misdemeanours real, imagined, or blatantly made up.

Such transgressions may include: wearing new shoes, pointing with a finger, or the use of real names rather than hash names.

Hash Names

The use of real names (nerd name) during an event is discouraged, and members are typically given a new "hash name," usually in deference to a particularly notorious escapade, a personality trait, or their physical appearance.

Members are named after attending the hash on several occasions or if something noteworthy occurs to prompt a naming.

Other hashers may share stories or observations about the individual, with the final name being chosen by general consensus from all suggestions put forward by the hash.

NEWCOMERS TO THE HASH
Completely new to hashing? Don't know what to expect? Worried, shy or nervous? You needn't be as all newcomers or virgins as they are known, will receive a warm welcome. When the hashers are called to make a circle - about 7:15 pm each Monday, the Grand Master will welcome all hashers and after various notices about forthcoming events etc are dealt with, he will ask if there are any visitors from other hashes or virgins present. You will be asked to come forward and be introduced to the hash. A tip to remember, don't wear new trainers as these are frowned upon by the RA (Religious Advisor) and will incur a sprinkling of flour over them. That's all there is to it and you can then step back and enjoy the run and the social get together after in the On Down (the pub). Whatever your pace, there are certain to be others who will keep you company along the trail. Walk, jog or run - it's up to you.
Hashing is all about making friends and having fun, so just turn up any Monday and have a go.

Saturday, 18 January 2025

PARK INN AT KINGSKERSWELL

 Run #2059 Monday 20th January circle up 7:15 pm from the Park Inn, 15 Coles Lane Kingskerswell TQ12 5BQ with Shitfaced & Friends.

TVH3 The Words for 13th January 2025

The Crown & Sceptre, St Marychurch

Run No. 2058 - "Gropers' trail"
 
HARE: Poacher
 
Who wuz there: Poacher, Shitfaced, Man-Pig, Bluebird, Beefy, Pisswell, Piltdown Man, Georgy Porgy, Smellie, Pocket Rocket, Only Here for the Beer, Polyfella, Red Rum, Strap-On, Strap Dancer, Archangel, Fukarewe, Wet Johnny, Warmfront, Psycho, Roger the Dodger, Well Hopped, Satnav, Coldtits, Miss'ing, Wetfart & Teapot
 
Circle
Twenty-seven! A veritable threefold increase from last week's attendance. A significant turnaround from the Christmas & New Year hiatus. It was excellent to see so many turn up for our return to the Crown & Sceptre.
 
There was only one announcement. This was from Shitfaced and it concerned the upcoming Awards' Night in early March. Voting forms and the ballot box would be in the bar afterwards so get your votes in.....even though Piltdown Man has yet to compile a summary of the previous 12 months' Trails and Hares. 
 
In addition, Shitfaced announced that a couple of new categories would be introduced, including Groomer of the Year and Best Sweetie/Refreshment Stop of the Year. Scribe would be binned and Best Lay of the Year and Hare of the Year would be combined - surely they are the same thing? Or was it that Hare of the Year would be deemed to include Hasher of the Year?
 
On the subject of Scribe, I am perfectly happy to have the Award scrapped and also happy to continue scribing. However, please do not think that I am on a mission to monopolise The Words....certainly not. I would strongly encourage you all to get involved in writing The Words. Everyone has their particular style and it is interesting to read others' accounts of the evening's events. Irrespective of whether the Award for Scribe of the Year is binned or not, please don't be shy. Have a go at doing The Words. Remember, variety is the spice of life.
 
Smellie put out a call for a hare for 6th February. Please see her if you want to lay this one.
So, over to Poacher for a briefing on his second trail of his January trilogy.
 
"There are three Long/Short splits. It is technical". I think the latter was a euphemism for running around in small circles and attempting to climb up unfeasibly steep and slippery banks. We would soon find out.
 
Trail
The first check was outside the pub car park and, inevitably, the bulk of the pack stood immobile whilst Polyfella and others checked out the various avenues. They didn't have to check far as there was another check pretty much outside the front door of the pub. The Pig checked down Petitor Road and quickly came across our third check in under 150 meters. Beeflicker had a fruitless check down Hartop Road whilst the actual trail eventually continued down Petitor Road, past the golf club and onto Petit Tor downs. 
 
However, not before a slight misunderstanding by Polyfella who repeatedly called 'ON BACK!' to a lone hasher who was gaily flitting down the road en routey for the obvious destination of the woods. Once, twice and thrice he called, each time more loudly. The hasher paid no heed. At the end of Petitor road by the kissing gate, he turned and called 'ON ON'. Long sigh. (I would be interested to know why you tried to call me back, young Lochinvar,)
 
Soon we came to the first Long/Short split. This was a small loop along a dry and leafy, but very minor, track in the woods, skirting to the right the summit of the notorious 'Heights of Abraham' climb up from Petitor beach - stormed twice by TVH in years gone by. Not tonight, Josephine.
 
Back on the main trail, we passed Petit Tor itself and skirted the eastern edge of the golf course afore arriving at the second Long/Short split. This was the "technical" bit. Off trail down a steep slope, over two fallen trees whilst, all the time, attempting not to turn an ankle on the numerous short lengths of fallen branch. Probably no more than 50 yards down the slope, we found ourselves coming back up an even steeper slope. With every Hasher that made it to the top, the following Hasher was presented with an even slipperier ascent. 
 
Those at the back, Well Hopped and Red Rum were on a tractionless incline and had to engage "rear assist" which Fukarewe was only too pleased to administer. Miss'ing avoided "rear assist" by adopting a Gandolph style staff fashioned from a log. Smellie simply engaged rear and 'backtracked' in order to avoid the precipitous incline. This resulted in her being last back to the pub.
 
At the top of the vertiginous obstacle, Poacher was giving everyone a helping hand whilst being stabilised himself by Psycho. Eager to help out, the Pig reached out to stabilise Psycho whist simultaneously engaging rear. Oh what a to do! Eventually, all were safely back on a main track and heading towards Easterfield Lane. Well, not quite all. Smellie wasn't seen again until the On-Down.
Poacher promised that Ha Ha's and Fish Hooks would slow down the FRB's but I don't recall seeing either. Nonetheless, the trail took us along Easterfield Lane and then to our final Long/Short split just inside Wocky National Park which is partially a BMX track. The Longs followed two edges of the park before crossing a couple of stiles and navigating a short length of woodland before a diagonal traverse across the King George V Recreation Ground.
 
The dots guided us along St Marychurch Road and towards the On-Down. Shirley we couldn't be returning to the pub already; only 1.95 miles? But the more dots we found, the closer we got to the bar (so not all bad). We cantered along the lower part of Hartop Road until we came across the OH at its junction with Cambridge Road. Left at Park Road and we were Home.
 
Short but undoubtedly adventurous. Nevertheless, Wet-Johnny, Beefy and Pisswell did another loop to get some miles in.
 
Down-Downs
On entering the pub, a wonderful sight to behold. Teapot was already ensconced with Wetfart. Teapot had had a quiet but very pleasant Christmas and New Year which was good to hear. He was also delighted to be back with the Hash and back at one of our favourite pubs.
 
The pub itself is under new management and this was the first time that they had encountered the Hash and the concept of Down-Downs and singing. Fortunately, some things do not change and the pub's tradition of jazz on the second Monday of each month continues. In the bar opposite, a jazz band was playing and they were rather good. So good that Bluebird and the Pig finished off the evening in the other bar, just catching their last number.
 
We waited for an interlude in the band's performance before proceeding with the Down-Downs. We explained what we were about to do and both the pub and the band were very accommodating.
So who has an Award and a story?
 
Satnav is the first up. She has the Hashshit shirt. This she gives to Man-Pig for opportunistic and uninvited groping on trail. In so doing robs Psycho of her story. The Pig comes up with some feeble excuse along the lines that he was now on a mission to secure this year's new award from grooming. Hmmmmmmmm. Whilst the Pig gulps, Beefy pipes up with, "He doesn't kiss the girls anymore. He likes them nice and hairy......."
 
Well, the groping doesn't stop there. Roger the Dodger has the horned hat. This he awards to Fukarewe for double groping. The second Long/Short slope proved too challenging for some and the "rear assist" from Fukarewe had now come back to haunt him. A note for the double groper.
 
There was definitely a common thread running through the evening's awards and it didn't stop with Fukarewe. Where there's a groper there will also be the groped. Poacher awards the Checking Chicken hat to Red Rum for commissioning "rear assist" from Fukarewe. Will it never end?
 
That second Long was a bugger. Psycho has the Jester's hat. This goes to Well Hopped for a litany of faults on trail, particularly the slippery incline. On the downhill section of the Long's loop there was a refusal at the first fence (4 points), poor traction control (lost time) and general inability to select diff lock and hill ascent mode on a Poacher trail (lost more time). No medals for Well Hopped this week.
Finally, there is a Down-Down (but I don't think an Award) for Pisswell. This is for unashamed canvassing, vote rigging and gerrymandering ahead of the Awards' Night. A note for the infamous gerrymanderer, "Dame Shirley Porter".
 
The evening was finished off with the Hare providing pizza and chips for the Hash. So, "Thankyou Poacher" for a challenging and entertaining trail and, additionally, for the scoff.
 
Just before leaving, the landlady thanked us for coming and hoped that we would come again. I'm sure we will.
 
Next week
Next week's Hash is from The Park Inn, Kingskerswell with Shitfaced and Friends.
 
On-On to next week. MP.
 
Postscript
I spent Saturday afternoon watching the Exeter Chiefs' match in the Railway Inn. Part way through the match about 20 people turned up in running gear and started watching the game and supping a couple of pints. I had initially thought that they were cyclists until one announced, "Runners. Five minute warning". This sounded rather Hash-like so I buttonholed one of the runners.
"Which running group are you from?"
"We're not runners. Just a group of friends from Shaldon. We decided we'd start the year by being dropped off at Haytor and run back to Shaldon via a couple of pubs. We've already had a beer in Bovey and our next stop is Coombe Cellars".
 
This sounds just like a Hash to me. I'm afraid that I didn't get his name or the chance to discuss Hashing. Most of these guys were in their 40's or 50's but with a couple of youngsters too. So, if any of you think that you might know these folk, please make contact and invite them along to TVH3. Remember, this year there's a Groomer's Award!
 
Post postscript BB
With so many 'gropers' awards being dished out, there was a story that was missed. Whilst attending the bar, I was joined by Coldtits who was clutching a miniature urn - no quips please - in her tiny mitt. She buttonholed the barman and asked if she could buy said urn. Quite naturally, the barman was perplexed.
Patiently, Coldtits explained that she had espied the urn in the ladies and seen a price tag on the base, and she had thought it was, albeit on show in an unlikely environment, for sale. It Shirley was not, replied the barman. Oh well, thought Coldtits, it was worth a try.
 
Preparing for a DD, I asked the barman if I could borrow the urn for a moment to show the hashers. By now, the barman had grown suspicious of this tall story (about seven inches tall in fact) and placed the object out of reach behind the bar. Pity.
 
Didulikethat? No? Well please yourselves then.

Saturday, 11 January 2025

CROWN & SCEPTRE

 

Run #2058 Monday 13th January 7:15 pm from the Crown & Sceptre 2 Petitor Rd, St Marychurch, Torquay TQ1 4QA with Poacher.
Run #1952 16th January 2023 was the last time we visited this olde hostelry, when a pint was £3.40 and the hash fare was scampi and chips at £3.75. Ahh, those were the days, Shirley.
The standard blurb re parking now follows, although it is a futile exercise as hashers have ignored common sense over the years and insist on trying to get a space in the pub's miniscule car park at the last minute. Sigh. 🙃
However, herewegogo. Great time and effort has been (fruitlessly) expended in compiling the map below.
The map shows possible (local knowledge) spaces but your best bet would be to find a space down in St Marychurch itself near the Cooperative stores (marked as CO-OP within a red circle). It's only about 200 yards away from the pub. 🙂

WEEKLY SUBS PAYERS

It would be appreciated if those hashers that pay £1 a week when they attend rather than the £30 a year subscription could bring their one pound to the circle and pay Pisswell before the run. It is not much fun for her to chase hashers in the pub for payment. Many thanks for your cooperation. 🙂

MISMANAGEMENT UPDATED AGPU APRIL 4 2022

Grand Master Shitfaced mobile 07973 682201
Vice G M U Bend
On Sec Piltdown Man mobile 07773038756
R A Organiser Teapot
R A Manpig
R A Forrest Stump
R A Fallen Woman
Hash Cash Threesome
Hash Tax Pisswell
Trail Raiser Smellie
Haberdashery Zoot
Song Master Pork Torpedo
Social Sec Wet Johnny
Web /Web Master Bluebird

HASH SUBS 2023

This years membership, which is due now is £30 Alternatively, you can pay £1 per week when attending. Samantha Zimbler Hash cash Threesum. On line payments Account name: TEIGN VALLEY HASH House Harriers Sort Code: 55-70-01 Account number: 69068186 Reference: your hash name

TVH3 HABERDASHERY LINK

JESSE'S DD FROM THE TALLY HO!

EXPLANATION OF ARCHIVE TVH3 SITES

GREATHASHGOD: A dedicated site (presently mothballed and serves as archive content only) with all TVH3 content. Mostly photos from each Monday's hash but also some video clips. Named after our Life President Pottsie.

PRECONDEROTOUS: Containing the entire archive of TVH3 of some 1000 vid clips and over 5000 posts and photos. Started on November 11th 2007, the site is active with Bluebird's personal content but the archive content is fascinating and preserved, well worth a look.

Fukarwi

Fukarwi

REARENDER

REARENDER

TEAPOT

TEAPOT

SOAPY

SOAPY

MOULDY DICK

MOULDY DICK

MELONPICKER

MELONPICKER

FALLEN WOMAN

FALLEN WOMAN

DORIS

DORIS

BROKEN MAN

BROKEN MAN

ARCHANGEL

ARCHANGEL

ABLE SEMEN

ABLE SEMEN

Previously unreleased clip - Vicky's naming from the Sea Trout

FOR TVH3 HABERDASHERY CONTACT ZOOT

FOR TVH3 HABERDASHERY CONTACT ZOOT

SC