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Run #2041 Monday 16th September

Beefy's Birthday Hash

 

 

7:15 pm Circle up from Church Cottages, Widecombe in the Moor, Newton Abbot TQ13 7TH

W3W ordeals.harmless.dolphin

Bring cash for drinks

Changing facilities available in the house.

PLEASE NOTE

Parking: is limited so, it would be good if solo drivers can pick up others en route or, meet others at Widecombe CP and share a lift to the Circle.

If you bring a dog, it will need to be left in your car after the Trail as the garden is not secure and the house is a "cat house".

Church Cottages is only half a mile from Widecombe. I will endeavour to meet you all in order to guide parking. There will a short walk hence to a terrace of four houses at a right angle to the road. Walk past all four houses and down the side of the last house to the back garden.

You are welcome to change, afterwards, in the bathroom or in the shower room.

Food is (a variety of) pizza and some sort of cake, all of which is free. Beers are provided for a CASH only donation.

On on, Beefy

TVH3 The Words for 9th September 2024

Manaton Church car park

Run No. 2040

 

HARE: Poacher

 

 

 

Who wuz there: Poacher, Shitfaced, Man-Pig, Archangel, Beefy, Beeflicker, Runner Bean, Peter, Piltdown Man, Georgy Porgy, Smellie, Ablesemen, Coldtits, Roger the Dodger, Big End, Well Hopped, Ned, Psycho, Satnav, Polyfella and Fukarewe

 

Circle

The Circle got underway after some initial confusion as to the run number. Shitfaced welcomed all to run no. 2037 whilst Man-Pig corrected him stating that it was, in fact, 2040. Smellie checked her phone.

"It's 2037".

"No it isn't. We count the three runs from the 40th weekend," asserts the Pig.

"Sunday's run was by City of Exeter", says Shitfaced.

"By invitation courtesy of TVH3".

"It's getting dark. Hurry up!" interjects Archangel.

So over to Smellie for the current state of Hare Raizing in TVH3.

"We're full to the end of the year. If you want to lay next year, see me!"

Over to the Hare.

 

The only information that Poacher imparted was that there were a lot of fields with livestock in so dogs on leads please....glaring at Slip-on-Me.

"My dog's a good dog".

It wouldn't be too long before we could put that to the test.....eh Big End?

"Check it out".

 

Trail

It's been a long time since we last ran from here, and it really is a lovely spot. I think that we were last here two years ago when Pisswell had us all in the village hall drinking out of cardboard sample receptacles. Although I think that one or two of the Walkers made it down to the Kestor Inn for a swifter.

 

Prior to that was four years ago. Again on a Poacher trail with a Hare that was nowhere to be seen at the Circle and a half laid nine-and-a half mile trail. What would our veteran Hare have in store for us this evening? Hopefully not another 9.5 miles!

 

Rocket scientist, Runner Bean, and his brother, Peter, were the FRB's and checking out the public footpath that runs through the graveyard. Slip-on-Me's untethered mutt was checking out the graves and experienced hashers were gazing at the check on the road outside the church.

 

As soon as you leave the back of the graveyard there is a choice of footpath. Straight on was being checked out by Runner Bean and to the right Beeflicker was looking for that elusive third dot of flour, "Always on the right" according to Poacher.....except when it's in the middle as it turned out.

 

"On back" calls Poacher to Runner Bean as the rest of the pack now followed Beeflicker up to Manaton Rocks for a lovely 360 degree view of the surrounding countryside, including Haytor and Saddletor silhouetted against the dimming sky. I think all made it to the top of Manaton Rocks before we were back on trail. 

 

Initially, there was a steep descent over a slippery rocky footpath to the first of two Long/Short splits. This was really for the Walkers who would have a short trip back to the cars. For the Longs, more slippery rocky footpath and then across an open field and onto road at Langstone. 

 

Runner Bean was well put of sight. Psycho and Beeflicker had checked out in the wrong direction and were now running past us just as we reached the road. And they kept on running, past the kicked out check at Neadon.

 

Man-Pig, Big End and Fukarewe followed the kicked-out check in the correct direction towards Foxworthy Bridge, eventually catching up with Beefy at another check. The Pig checked right...and wrong!

 

The trail followed a broad concrete farm track downhill before another check just above the river had us bear right and into Neadon Cleeve. 

 

At the next check and it was right and up a steep incline and over two fallen trees, one of which had been chainsawed in half to keep the path open. I recognised this as being part of March's (pre-Grizzly A2B). Up and up we went eventually levelling off.

 

At Horsham we were back on a wide track and running through a pair of wrought iron gates. It looked like there must be a big old house somewhere nearby but we never saw it. 

 

At a 90 degree bend, Poacher was remarking the second Long/Short split. Fukarewe was in two minds about going Long when Poacher simply said.

"You're doing it".

And so he did.

 

Runner Bean, Beeflicker, Pycho and Beefy must have been well ahead, leaving Man-Pig, Big End, Fukarewe as tailenders on the Long - or so we thought, and with Poacher sweeping. Unbeknown to us, someone was still behind us. Any guesses as to who this might be?

 

The Shorts followed a path that was pretty much a bee-line straight back to the car park. The Longs headed southeast through Letchole Plantation until a back-check had us into woodland for a short while before entering the northern edge of Manaton (actually called "Water" on the OS map) and joining the road back to the car park just north of the pub. Big End and I found a single dot and then, 300 yards later the "OH" sign for the final leg upto the car park.

 

A vey picturesque and enjoyable 3.6 miles. Thankyou Poacher......and no-one had got lost - or had they?

 

Down-Downs

No Forrest-Stump. He must be rehearsing for the Dunsford pantomime...."Oh no he isn't". Hence the Pig RA's.

 

It has been a long, long time since TVH3 were officially at the Kestor Inn as the On-Down. Four years according to Poacher and that was on the occasion of his 9.5 mile epic.

 

Gradually the pub began to fill up with eaters devouring their choice of chips or cheesy chips......whenever someone mentions Cheesy Chips I always think of Rambo. His staple hash diet I think. Georgy is anxiously looking at her phone.

"What's up?"

"Smellie's not back".

"Is she on the Shorts or the Longs?"

"Longs. But it's alright. I've told her to turn left at the main road and to come straight to the pub rather than all the way back to the car park", which is exactly 0.4 of a mile away according to Piltdown Man.

Beefy and I look at each other.

"I bet she ends up at the car park", stated Thomas Aquinas.

"No", says the Jack of Hearts - Beefy.

"A fiver on it"

"Done"

Ten minutes later Smellie arrives - unflustered.

"Have you done the Longs?"

"Yes".

"Bugger. You've cost me money"

A fiver changes hands and Smellie looks perplexed but says nothing.

 

Sometime later, in conversation, it transpires that Smellie did go back to the car park. Money changes hands again. Smellie is none the wiser.

 

The Kestor Inn made us most welcome. The pub had cooked surplus chips and these were passed round. We also had a staggering 7 half pints of ale provided by the pub. It was good to be back. Yes indeedee. But how on earth were we going to generate seven stories of dubious authenticity? But, where there's a will, there's a way.

"Do we have any awards?"

Beefy actually has two awards, the Jester's Hat and the Checking Chicken Hat. The checking Chicken Hat is put to one side for a later award whilst Beefy looks for a suitable victim.....errr.....deserving recipient.

The hat goes to Fukarewe. But, what for? For revealing his bank transactions over the Hash weekend a whole list of £4.60 debits; the cost of a single pint of ale at Teignmouth RFC. Clearly he hasn't been buying any rounds! A note for, "He's the meanest, he sucks......"

 

Next up is Big End with the Hashshit shirt. This goes straight to Slip-on-Me. What for? Because, within 60 seconds of starting the trail, her "good dog" is unleashed and running around the graveyard. "Here's to the dog trainer...."

 

Shitfaced adopts the Checking Chicken hat and awards it to Smellie. Yes, she was last back....again. But this was for a pre-trail misdemeanour. Shitfaced and Smellie were in conversation just before she ran off saying:

"I've got to go dogging!"

What she actually said was, " I have to lock the dog in" (the car). Not good enough. "Here's to the dogger".

Ablesemen has a story. Someone was very late getting to the Hash and did his own trail, didn't they Polyfella? "Here's to the late one...."

 

It is also someone's birthday tomorrow. And that person is......the Hare. Poacher has arranged the Down-Downs but has forgotten to arrange for one of those DD's to be a cider. He decides to down half of his own pint of cider to the accompaniment of all the right notes, but not necessarily in the right order.

 

One of our young athletes is leaving us to go north and start work......as a ROCKET SCIENTIST. True story. Runner Bean is joining a team in Elgin (north Scotland) who are working on a commercial rocket that will put payloads into orbit. Additionally, this rocket will be launched from the UK. It has re-usable booster stages that parachute back to earth and it runs on liquid bio-propanol and liquid oxygen. Best of all, Elgin actually has a hash. All the very best to you on you new, high flying, position. A note for, "The Rocket Scientist", what else?

 

Finally, there are two Hashers that have nothing better to do in their lives than arrive at the Hash half an hour early. This is definitely a first for Archangel. Maybe he's setting a good example for Psycho who was also ridiculously early. Fortunately, there are two beers left. "Get a life.get a life, life,life etc"

And so concluded the Down-Downs. A "thankyou" to Poacher for a lovely twighlight trail and a very big "thankyou" to the Kestor Inn for making us so welcome upon our long awaited return.

 

Next week

Next week's Hash is from Beefy's residence on the outskirts of Widecombe-in-the-Moor. It is his birthday Hash. Parking is a little tight so please consider parking in Widecombe car park and car sharing from there........ oh, definitely bring your torches.

 

On-On to next week. MP

PLEASE NOTE this is a venue change from the posted words (now amended)

Run #2040 Monday 9th September Circle up 7:15 pm from the Church car park at Manaton.ON DOWN from the Kestor Inn TQ13 9UF with Poacher.

Chips/cheesy chips - show of hands at circle.

 

 

TVH3 The Words for 2nd September 2024

Tinpickle & Rhum, Moorland Hotel, Haytor

Run No. 2039

 

HARE: Slip-on-Me

 

 

 

Who wuz there: Slip-on-Me, Shitfaced, Man-Pig, Forrest-Stump, Perry, Archangel, Beefy, Pisswell, Beeflicker, Able Semen, Wetfart, Runner Bean, Smellie, Coldtits, Poacher, U-Bend, Big End, Well Hopped, Ned, Psycho, Warmfront, Johnny, Red Rum, Melonpicker, Soapy, Justin, Dylan, Wide Receiver, Cheesy Nipples, Cheesy Helmet (pub only I think) and virgin Harry - Pisswell's son

 

Circle

It was one day after the TVH3 40th anniversary away weekend. How many would turn up? A very respectable 27 as it turned out. Slip-on-Me was delighted with the turnout, especially as the weather forecast had been on the damp side. Even more incredulous give the state of some Hashers sore heads the previous morning.

 

Shitfaced welcomed all into the Circle and immediately observed an unfamiliar face....Harry. Harry is a virgin and also Pisswell's son. There is an absence of flour in the Circle but the Hare scoots off and comes back with some sawdust to anoint Harry's trainers with.

 

Smellie has no announcements about Hare Raising. Shitfaced is just about to hand the Circle over to the Hare when Man-Pig butts in.

 

"Can I have a volunteer for The Words for the anniversary weekend? Runs 2036, 2037 & 2038."

Forrest is volunteered as he was the ring leader behind Saturday's post disco shot-fest.

So over to the Hare.

 

"The trail is laid in an assortment of materials, none of them flour - mainly sawdust. It is not very long; Longs' 3 ,miles, Shorts' 2 miles and Walkers' 1 mile", all much to the delight of the still fragile competitors in the shots competition.

 

"Does anyone know why the bar is called the Tinpickle & Rhum?"

 

Nobody knows except Wide Receiver. Apparently the "Tinpickle & Rhum" sign over the entrance to the bar was found in the loft of the hotel and the name stuck.

Finally:

"There is a pickle and rum stop at the quarry".

 

Trail

What could possibly go wrong on a 3 mile Hash?

 

We were directed out of the lower entrance to the hotel car park for our first challenge. Searching for a mark....any sort of mark. Wide receiver went downhill towards Pinchaford. Poacher headed for the granite railway track and everyone else congregated around the small green with the telephone kiosk.

After a while Poacher alleged that he was "On" and we followed him across the road, onto the moor and along the granite tramway.

 

In the distance to our left, we could see the distinct shape of Slip-on-Me's Landrover climbing up towards the quarry.....at least we knew where we were going to end up.

 

As we moved along the tramway, we came to several spots which would have been ideal places to put a check or a Long/Short split. Eventually, we came to a fork in the tramway. This was a perfect spot for a split. After a lot of searching, we found an "S" and an arrow pointing downhill. 

 

The Longs carried on straight ahead only to find a cross..... perplexing as the only other obvious route was an even shorter track that leads directly up to the quarry. Poacher back-checked towards Smallacombe Rocks. Wide Receiver also back-checked on a minor track that led up to the quarry. Most Hashers were still running back from the cross. Where was the Longs' trail? 

 

We had Hashers speed out all over the moor. Eventually, we gave up on searching for the elusive Long and embarked on the Short. This was basically due west down and then up to Holwell Tor. 

 

We then headed for Emsworthy Rocks before running out of marks again. From on-high atop Haytor, Wide Receiver and Slip-on-Me were shouting directions to befuddled and bamboozled Hashers.

 

We all made our way across country and through a ravine that formed part of an area of quarried stone at the end of one of the tramline's spurs. I was following Big End and Well Hopped as we climbed out of the narrow gulley and onto open ground between Haytor and Emsworthy Rocks. It was only ten past eight but is was getting very dipsy indeed but, fortunately, dry. Somehow, by the time that I skirted around to the south side of Haytor, I'd lost sight of Big End and Well Hopped and, indeed, every other Hasher. 

 

With the broad open lawn down to Haytor middle car park I commenced my run home

 but........something's missing - and it's not just other Hashers. Half way down, the penny dropped - THE BEER STOP; well, pickles and rum stop.

 

U-turn. Back up towards Haytor and look for the broadest track to my right. I found a narrow track and headed northeast. After only a couple of hundred yards, I spied the distinct shape of a Landrover roof and a solitary Hasher. It was Red Rum who was about to make her way back to the hotel. She advised that everyone else was in the quarry.

 

"Hey presto!", the drink stop was ahead of me including all of the other Hashers except for Poacher and Archangel. And what a drink stop it was. A flavoured rum, pickles comprising red cabbage, beetroot and green chillies, homemade bread, cheese and biscuits and some sweet biscuits with a whortleberry base.....delicious.

 

It was dark now. This week most Hashers had remembered to bring torches. The final leg was shared with Pisswell and Forrest Stump descending down the vehicular track from the quarry to the road and then the final 300 yards back to the hotel.

 

Down-Downs

Forrest-Stump had drawn the short straw and was RA'ing.

 

The drink stop had been excellent. The absence of marks had given us all a a giggle rather than a headache and the tot of rum was just enough to clear the vestiges of the weekend's hangover. Hence the first Down-Down goes to the Hare for her excellent refreshment stop.

 

"Do we have any awards?"

 

Red Rum has the Hashshit shirt and a simple story. Someone had mentioned that they only come to the Hash for the beer and not the run. Amazingly, this was not Only Here for the Beer. It was Big End. "Hold it in you hand Mrs Murphy".

 

Next we had the Wet Johnny doppelgänger up and I didn't know what for....impersonating Wet-Johnny? No, it was apparently for forgetting to pay his pound. Anyway, Johnny gets a beer and a note to, "Here's to non-Wet-Johnny....." and also gets the Checking Chicken Hat.

 

The final half pint of ale and the final award. Pisswell has the Jester's hat and, despite fierce competition, Beefy gets it for being the most drunk of the weekend. This included making a mess of Pisswell's van. Beefy tried to palm this off on Smellie alleging that Smellie had been very much looking forward to Beefy's trail the previous week. But this was when it had been scheduled for Staverton Beer Festival. However, last week's trail had to be relocated to Trendlebere down where Smellie failed to make an appearance. She had, however, made it to the beer festival on Sunday afternoon so the wandering half pint of ale found itself back in Beefy's hands. A note for the "inebriated one" or some such similar moniker.

 

Just before we left, we thanked the pub for having us just before we risked being thrown out. Beeflicker had found a pair of lady's trainers on trail and Forrest was determined to auction them off in a bid to get the weekend's collection for the "Pete's Dragons" mental health charity up to £600. He banged his hand on the table so hard, to mark the end of the auction, that he sent Warmfront's beer glass flying which smashed on the stone floor!

 

.....and there concludeth the Hash.

 

Next week -NOTE change of venue

Next week's Hash is from the Church CP at Manaton OD Kestor Inn with Poacher haring. Bring your torches.

 

On-On to next week. MP

TODAY'S TRAIL DETAILS (WITH PROFUSE APOLOGIES FOR TARDINESS)

Run #2036 Monday 2nd September

Circle up 7:15 pm from Tinpickle And Rhum, The Moorland Hotel, Haytor, Newton Abbot TQ13 9XT with Slip on Me.

 

Food to be ordered before the circle please.

See menus below.

 

TVH3 The Words for 26th August 2024

Trendlebere Down middle car park

Run No. 2035

 

HARE: Beefy

 

Who wuz there: Beefy, Shitfaced, Man-Pig, Hotlips, Zoot, Pisswell, Beeflicker, Ernie, Slip-on-Me, Wetfart, Runner Bean, Peter (Runner Bean's brother), Piltdown Man, Georgy Porgy, Smash, Melonpicker, Soapy, Miss-Ing, Miss'Ing's daughter, Justin, Dylan, Ollie, Wide Receiver and returnee Red Rum and one virgin whose name I'm afraid I don't get who was brought along by Slip-on-Me

 

Circle

Another bank holiday. what would the turnout be? Not bad actually....23. Beefy's Facebook directions to the car park were inch perfect, 0.2 miles past the cattle grid so no-one got lost en route to the Hash. The return to the Dolphin would be a little more complex as the road had been closed off at the roundabout so we all had to loop around via the swimming pool road.

 

Shitfaced welcomed all to run number 2035 and asked if either Zoot or Hotlips had anything to say about this weekends TVH3 40th anniversary weekend.....nothing! All sorted then.

 

No Smellie so no update from the Hare Razor but I think we only have 30th December to fill.

 

Shitfaced asks the long time absent returnee and a virgin into the Circle. He purloins Beefy's flour and welcomes both in the time honoured manner....a liberal dusting of flour on their trainers. Talking of trainers, Shitfaced was sporting a new design of super light running wear. I think that they are called flip flops and he still managed to get to the sweetie stop before anyone else.

 

Over to the Hare, who was a little red in the face as he'd only just arrived back from laying the trail. Beefy explained that tonight's trail was not so long; about four and a half for the Longs, three and three quarters for the Shorts and the trail could be as low as two and a half for the Walkers BUT....only if they heeded the marks. 

 

Beefy then proceeded to put two new style marks on the ground - a " "T" and an "XX". I think the idea was that, if you wanted an ultra short, simply walk through these marks.

 

Trail

The trail crossed the main road and into Yarner Wood and the first of three Long/Short splits. The Shorts and Walkers carried straight on whilst the Longs went left and down the broad track that leads down to the Southwest Water pumping station. 

 

Runner Bean, Beeflicker, Justin and Dylan were runaway FRB's with Man-Pig and Peter chasing hard. Also on the longs were Miss-Ing and Ernie but we didn't see them again until we were back at the car park.

 

For all things that go down there must be an equal an opposite part of the trail that goes up. 

 

Sure enough, just after running through the SWW car park, the trail diverted onto a narrow upward path before opening onto a wider track. Peter succumbed to a stitch and slowed down just before we overtook Slip-on-Me and friend. 

 

The broad track was initially flat and then dropped a little before a sharp U-bend where we passed Soapy, Melon Picker and Ollie. 

 

A little further on, we passed Zoot and Hotlips just before arriving at the second Long/Short split. A sharp left and downhill for the Longs on what proved to be a large loop that took us back to this L/S split to rejoin the Walkers & Shorts' trails.

 

At the bottom of the Longs' loop, I caught up with Beeflicker, Justin and Dylan and stayed with them for the rest of the trail. Runner Been was well out in front and all of the checks had been kicked out.

On our return to the second L/S split, we caught up with Red Rum just before the final L/S split. The last Long took us around the western periphery of Yarner Woods before we again rejoined the Walkers and the Shorts. 

 

Once again, we passed Slip-on-Me and friend, Ollie, Melonpicker, Soapy, Zoot and Hotlips in exactly the same order as we'd encountered them previously. 

 

We dropped down to a semi-open area where some Dartmoor ponies had congregated. They would have made a good photo had we stopped.

 

In next to no time, we were at the sweetie stop where we caught up with Shitfaced, Miss'Ing's daughter, Piltdown Man, Georgy Porgy and, of course, the Hare. We were treated to three varieties of Haribos and then the final trek home. down, down and down a broad track where we nearly overshot a tiny bridge to our left.

 

We now embarked on a climb up and along a narrow path and through a gate onto a wide grassed track. this was the final downhill and back to the gate whence we originally entered Yarner Wood. It was 8.38pm. A short but thoroughly enjoyable run and no need for torches. Time for a beer!

 

Down-Downs

Forrest-Stump had got waylaid at the Lustleigh show where Perry & Mitch had won the dog racing competition so it was down to Man-Pig to RA.

 

For a change there we're quite a few awards present from previous weeks.

 

First up was Hotlips who had the Hashshit shirt. This Hotlips awarded to Red Rum. Her misdemeanour(s)? Forgetting what almost every Hash mark stood for. Despite calls for red Rum to remove her top she sensibly wore the bio hazard over her blouse. "Hold it in your hand Mrs Murphy"

Wide Receiver has the Checking Chicken hat from Cheerio's Hash a fortnight ago. This he gives to Peter (Runner Bean's brother) for getting lost on trail and then getting even more lost after seeking some misdirections from a passing motorcyclist. This subsequently dictated that Pisswell had to go out in her car and rescue him from Trendlebere upper car park. A note for, "The misguided one".

 

Shitfaced has the Jesters' hat. This he awards to Pisswell. this is not for being a knight in shining armour and for recovering a young man (Peter) from Trendlebere upper car park. This is for suggesting that they stop at a lay-by on the way back.....should have brought the camper van! A note for "The sex pest".

 

The RA was just about to give the final award to the Hare when there was a shout from the floor. "Justin has yet to be named".

 

There were some suggestions based on his Christian name along the lines of "two inches" but his profession is a potter. The unanimous vote/roar was for Wedgie...after Josiah Wedgwood. The RA gets Wedgie on his knees and duly anoints him under the powers invested in him by the great Hash God...."urbi et orbi I baptise you and from this day on thou shalt be known as Wedgie".

 

The poor Hare hadn't had a drink but he was a tad thirsty after spending the evening running around for 13 miles so he was appreciative of the last half pint of water. Some people are so easily pleased.

 

Next week

Next week's Hash is from The Moorland Hotel with Slip-on-Me haring. Bring your torches as it's just beginning to get dipsy now after 8.30.

 

On-On to next week. MP