BRIDFORD INN

Run #2085 Monday 14th July Circle up 7:15 pm from the Bridford Inn, Bridford, Exeter EX6 7HT with Psycho and Forrest. Banger and chips at £5.50, show of hands at the circle.

Monday 7th July – the middle part (see below this for MP's words)

Man Pig has already done a sterling effort on recounting the beginning and the end, so here is the middle. The pack set off north from Bonehill Rocks and into the knee deep heather. After a few false starts we came across Piswell who had been absent from the circle and had made a head start. She looked like she knew where she was going! We threaded our way on the faint sheep tracks, trying to make out the flour through the undergrowth. Pork Torpedo led the charge up to Bell Tor where we paused to enjoy the view, although we had to carry further on up to Chinkwell Tor for the promised ‘360 degree’ experience. We carried on north to a check; Bee Flicker was convinced we’d be carrying on up to Honeybag Tor but instead we curved back eastwards. The longs and shorts parted company, as we clambered over a stile into an overgrown enclosure. After thrashing around in there for a while Poacher took pity on us and directed us back onto trail, and we did indeed end up on Honeybag Tor for another magnificent view. Then we were back on the shorts and scampered back across the moor to the car park just as the sun was lowering towards the ridge of Hamel Down.

Thank you Poacher for a lovely trail, and on on to next week!

Warm Front 

TVH3 The Words for 7th July 2025

Bonehill Rocks (thence Rugglestone)

Run No. 2084

 

HARE: Poacher

 

Who wuz there: Poacher, Pocket Rocket, Man-Pig, Archangel, Pisswell, Piltdown Man, Georgy Porgy, Smellie, Coldtits, Beeflicker, Warm Front, Melonpicker, Soapy, Pork Torpedo, Horny, Strap-On, Strap-Dancer, Smash, Miss Mash, U-Bend, Slip-on-Me, Ablesemen?Two virgins brought by Beefy (sorry - I didn't catch names) and a late Beefy (non-runner)

 

Circle

No announcements apart from the Pig wanting a volunteer for the Words at the same time as Warmfront put up her hand to advise the venue for next week's trail....well volunteered Warmfront.

Poacher welcomed two virgins, brought along by Beeflicker. The usual dousing of flour on trainers initiated the previously uninitiated.

 

Trail

Warmfront kind of volunteered for The Words but was not present at the Down-Downs. Hence expect a missive from Warmfront recording where we went and what we did. However, as there was only Poacher, Beeflicker, Warmfront and myself on the Longs, it may be brief.

 

Down-Downs

Pisswell is our RA for the evening and she has a new bag, a new award and a couple of new Down-Down songs.

 

The evening commences with birthday girl, Horny, handing back her birthday hat from last week but, regrettably, with no-one else to give it to. We then thank Poacher, the pub and/or the Hash for the beer. Nobody has any idea who has paid for it. I think that it was, ultimately, Poacher.

 

The first beer/cider goes to the Hare for a trail with stunning 360 degree views....but you did have to climb to get them. Pisswell hands her phone to our Songmeister, Pork Torpedo, who is asked to lead us all in the new DD song. Which he does very well.

 

Revenge is almost instantaneous. "Does anyone have any awards?" enquires the RA. Poacher pulls a St Patrick's Day Guiness hat from who knows where and places it firmly on Pisswell's head. I am not sure what this is for; confusion over who has, or has not, arranged/paid for the Down-Downs? Again, PT has Pisswell's phone and a new song to navigate.

"Any more awards?"

Yes. Pork Torpedo has the whirly bird jockey's hat with a propeller on top of it. This he awards to the highly unlikely FRB of the evening, Melon-Picker (true story....for a change). Pork Torpedo leads us in the DD song; one that we know this time.

 

No more awards so stories are the order of the day. Coldtits gets a DD for being late and unable to locate Bonehill car park. "She's a little flat chested but she's all right".

 

Next, Pisswell explains why she has a new orange bag for the Awards. This is because it is now full of lost property from the previous week's trail. The reason is simple. It is not her bag. It is Georgy Porgy's. However, in the new bag is a new Award. A "forgetful" hat avec a small grey elephant stitched to its top. PT leads the DD song.

 

Finally, Beefy appears. He has some half baked story about fixing a 5 cylinder radial engine in order for his daughter's motorbike to pass its MOT retest. At after 10pm, he automatically receives the last DD and that concludes the evening's entertainment.

 

Next week

Next week's Hash is from the Bridford Inn. Our Hares are Forrest-Stump and Psycho.

On-On to next week, MP

BONE HILL ROCKS

Run #2084 Monday 7th July Circle up 7:15 pm Bone Hill Rocks car park TQ13 7TD with Poacher. On Down The Rugglestone Inn. Orders for baguettes in the Circle (see menu below). 

 

Hash no. 2083 at Pizwell Farm, Postbridge.

Pisswell at Pizwell

Who wuz there? -See below for circle up. 

 

Our GM welcomed virgin Tim, and new comers Yip Yap and Soggy Jeans from the lunatics away weekend.

 

Announcements were that Beefy had fed the cat! 

 

Pisswell introduced Farmer Frank and farmers wife Sue. She took everyone down to the yard to show the old longhouse, where cattle and people slept either side of the main entrance corridor to the building. Pizwell is an ancient Duchy tenement, mentioned in the Doomsday book and owned by the Duke of Cornwall (currently Prince William) and where Pisswell was brought up. The dead from the ancient tenaments, often as far as Widecombe, were carried by foot, over the moor to Bellever and then on to Lydford to be buried. Hence, the Lych way, and many coffin stones for resting on the journey.

Here endeth the history lesson, but building the eerie atmosphere, or should I say Ernie atmosphere?The hare was in fact buying time for the late arrival of Ernie. (big cheer when he arrived!) Is he the “ fastest” milk man in the west? Perhaps not, but unknown to the hare, Coldtits and SMEllie were also on the way. Cheesy nipples and Cheesy Helmet left their Pizwell burger duties to rush them both to catch up by landrover. Thank you to them both or we’d have been scuppered and 2, 4, and 6m trail could have been much more! ( think it already was).

 

The trail: (bet you known this tune?)

 

Farmer Frank, he had a farm E-I-E-I-O.

And on that farm they had a hash, On-on-on-and-on

With a Beefy here, and a Pisswell there.

Here’s Forrest, there’s Manpig, Beeflicker and Strap on

With G’Orgy here and Piltdown there, here’s Soapy, Melon Picker, everywhere is Pyscho!

Pocket Rocket here, Ernie there, (just), Palmolive, Virgin Tim, everywhere is Yip Yap!

Soggy Jeans here, Horny there, Pork torpedo, Manpig, everywhere is SMellie

Cheesy nipples here, Cheesy Helmet there, Warmfront, Coldtits, everywhere is Basecamp.

Threesum here, Miss Inn there, Miss Inn child, Manpig, that’s enough, now Cheerio

They circled up to hear the hare, go On-on-on-and-on!

Farmer Frank, he had a farm, E-I-E-I-O.

He rounded us up past the barns E-I-E-I-O.

The tractor that he sat upon,

Pulled the trailer we were on.

For grim death, we all hung on, On-and -on-and-on

We checked the stock through Pizwell’s paths. E-I-E-I-O.

Sheep and cows and ponies passed E-I-E-I-O.

Top of the hill, the longs jumped down. “They’re off trail”, so homeward bound.

Back to running on the ground, On-on-on-and-on.

Others off above Dury, On-on-on-and-on.

To Ridden ridge they all journeyed, On-on-on-and-on.

Walkers split right, View point delight,

Snailey house we’ll all have sight.

Where, oh where, were all those longs? On-on-on-and-on.

Farmer Frank he raced longs home, E-I-E-I-O.

Hare had told them where to go, On-on-on-and-on.

They crossed the river, up the track

Running to rejoin the pack.

over Cator Common there, On-on-on-and-on.

On they ran to Riddon ridge On-on-on-and-on.

Crossed the river, not the bridge,

On and on and on.

Up over Ridge and join the rest…

Laughter stepping stones are best!

Cross the Dart by Laughter hole, On-on-on-ha-ha!

Laughter Hole was once a farm, E-I-E-I-O.

Long abandoned, peace and calm, On-on-on-and-on.

Through steep woods of Bellever,

Crossing stones to witches lair

Snaily house and all their fare

from the witches there

Time to swim here if you’re hot, On-on-on-and-on.

Here’s the chance for Snaily stop, On-on-on-and-on.

Then like the clappers you can run

Your hash is very nearly done

Back to Pizwell, for more fun, On-on-on-and-on.

Pizwell burgers made for you, Pizwell beef, yum, yum.

And there’s beer to drink there too, or cider, let’s have some.

With a bottle here and a burger there,

Here’s some sauce, Onions please

coming from the pair with cheese!

Then Teign valley had down downs, at Pizwell, down, down, down

 

Out takes:

Shorts were happy running off trail over Riddon ridge but eventually led back by Melon Picker, who remembered why we were all there! 

 

The first swimming hole was bravely entered by Mitch. Or is that gladly? Funny no other takers!

Virgin Tim made a great FRB. I hope he will be back again soon. 

 

The Longs negiotiated large rocks, laid that afternoon, and obscuring the trail laid over Cator common.

Apologies for the ankle breaking terrain, before crossing the river at Pizwell bridge. 

 

Walkers flip flopped their way (well one of them) down a very steep hill to the river. Well done walkers. However, it didn’t begin to compare with the longs and shorts, who negotiated 3 or 4 river crossings and the near vertical slope of Hamlyns tor! (See tors of Dartmoor map)Hares advice at the circle was something like…..Close your eyes, sit down, cross your legs and try not to woo-oosh it yourselves! 

 

A quick wash off at the sweety snail stop, although all gone for latecomers! River was not so deep as the hare remembered in her childhood, so a few bruises sustained i believe! 

 

The back to Pizwell bit was confused by memories of double headed arrows! It all made sense when the hare said it, her reasons so that the walkers realised they had a dead end at the VP and had to return. Not really sure what everyone else was thinking but some went back for more snails!

 

Down downs:

RA was Forrest, with a selection of filthy songs from our songmeister PorkTorpedo. It’s always great to improve the quality of our singing!

 

An award from Pocket Rocket to Forrest for losing his glasses 3 times. Didn’t know he had!

The jesters hat to Ernie for being late and nearly upsetting the hay cart! (now he’ll have to come again!)

Pork Torpedo for falling over. Again, didn’t know he had! I knew Forrest had and that Yip Yap and Beefy had fallen in the river!

 

And then Horny for her big birthday on Sunday. All the right words and notes but not necessarily in the right order!

 

And lastly, a down down to farmer Frank for reckless driving over the bumpy field and to say thank you for hosting us at Pizwell. If you liked the beef, contact pizwellfarm@hotmail.co.uk 

 

And last words from the hare……

Thank you so much for coming out such a long way and for being brave enough to do some pretty hard core terrain and take a swim in the river. Apologies for bruises, tics and lack of snails! Thanks to the cheesy couple, perfect on burger duty. X Thanks to Basecamp and Miss Inn for forgetting their names!

And thanks all for a really fun evening. ( I think we were all grateful to have survived!)

 

Next week: on on to next week at Bonehill rocks, Widecombe, with Poacher. On down the Rugglestone.

SUMMER'S HERE!

 

Run #2082 Monday 30th June Circle up 7:15 pm from Pizwell Farm, PL20 6TN, Postbridge with Pisswell. What3Words buckling.hotdog.fixture

Proceed past Soussons Plantation and turn left at Runnage Bridge.

PLEASE NOTE

Bring cash for Pizwell beef burgers and beer. Please advise of beef burger allergies or BYO! Also can people wear something that would double as swimming attire as if it’s hot at the sweetie stop we’ll stop for a dip! Thanks, Pisswell

TVH3 The Words for 23rd June 2025

 

Cold East Cross (thence Rugglestone)

Run No. 2081

Tit for Twat

HARE: Beefy (alias Michael Fish)

 

Who wuz there: Beefy, Pocket Rocket, Man-Pig, Forrest Stump, Pisswell, Piltdown Man, Georgy Porgy, Smellie, Coldtits, Beeflicker, Wet-Johnny, Warm Front, Fukarewe, Miss'ing, Melonpicker, Soapy, Pork Torpedo, Horny, Polyfella, Strap-On, Strap-Dancer, Poacher, Wood-Lend & girlfriend (she must have a name by now)

 

Circle

The Beefy weather forecast posts on Facebook did not flatter to deceive. It was a bit blowy and a tad chilly at the appropriately named, Cold East Cross. Some heeded the Beefocast and dressed appropriately. Some didn't. Amongst the latter were Warmfront and Beeflicker. The lightly clad Warmfront returned to her car and donned a foxy top to keep warm whilst, at the other end of the spectrum, Beeflicker decided that a T-shirt was a layer too much....it takes all sorts..... and sometimes just shorts!

 

A late Smellie dictated that announcements were brief. Pisswell put in a plug for the Widecombe barn dance and TVH's post barn dance hash this Sunday morning at 10am - this will be run no. 2082. The following day will be Pisswell's trail from Pisswell's abode (direction on the TVH3 FB page).

 

The Pig asked for a volunteer for The Words. Never in the field of Hashing history has a Circle fell so quiet for so many for so long. Cheerio Beerio "volunteered" by raising her left hand.....an itchy ear or annoying fly perhaps? This was quickly followed by a refusal and 4 points thus ensuring that the Pig would be stand-in scribe.

 

So, over to the Hare. Beefy explained the usual three trails with a Long of sixish. Walkers two and a bit and the Shorts....err....well...in between. We would see cows, sheep and perhaps grouse...protected until 12 August but I have no idea who, if anyone, has shooting rights on the moor (answers on a postcard please to Little Lord Fauntleroy, Man-Pig Mansions, Kingskerswell.

 

Trail

Beefy points out the first Long/Short & Walkers' split from the car park. Poacher leads the Longs at breakneck speed towards Buckland Beacon and then promptly stops. The knee injury that he picked up from his trail at Manaton is still playing up. He makes his own way back to his truck and foregoes the pub.

 

The Longs is almost an out & back trail to the car park and we are soon catching up with the Shorts and the Walkers. We all cross a small granite footbridge comprising three granite marker posts. All except Pocket Rocket who elects for the vehicular bridge. This has walls to prevent the unwary from falling into the brook....current depth 1 inch (that's 25.4mm in new money).

 

Soon we are on a loop around the butts for the disused rifle range before our descent down a wide track, across a lane and thence the second L/S split. The Long's loop comes round and almost converges with the Walkers' and Shorts' trail; two parallel paths running between the lane and the brook.

 

The marks are good until we get to Weston Cottage and a sign marked "Private" and no obvious signs of flour. Missing, Pisswell, Man-Pig and Forrest Stump can hear calling but no marks. We back track and get on trail. We are now back tracking the outward trail towards the car park.

 

Almost at the car park, we see a line of fluorescent shirts in the far distance. They are ascending the broad footpath towards Rippon Tor. Although the wind is brisk, the pack appears to have warmed up sufficiently to shed their outer layer. How bright they shine under the setting sun.

 

Forrest and I are last but still have time for a photo shoot atop the Tor and catch up with Pocket Rocket and Cheerio Beerio. Now it is all downhill.

 

At the "pub", Beefy is distributing cider from the back of his car. Tail-end-charlies are now Soapy, Melonpicker, Man-Pig, Pocket Rocket and Cheerio Beerio. Forrest has made his own way back to to the car park with Mitch.

 

The trail back to the cars is straightforward and marked in ancient granite posts. I wonder if these predated the road parallel? Our ever responsible Hare is already back and ensuring that everyone is accounted for before we jump in our wagons and head for the Rugglestone.

 

Down-Downs

Pig is RA and, for a change, we have three awards. First of all, we thank the Hare for the beer...it must be costing him a fortune.

 

Ladies first as Coldtits stands up to allocate the Jester's hat. In spite of missing the Circle, Coldtits had both read and heeded the Beefocasts. Unlike our bare chested Beeflicker. The Beermeister is present so we are treated to "He's alright. He's alright. A little flat chested but alright. Down. Down. Down.

Next we have Wet-Johnny. He has the new propeller cap. There is a story about a setting sun, a full moon and a dribbler frothing at the mouth at the sight of the full moon. I didn't notice any full moon at 7.15pm a mere two days after the summer solstice. Shirley some mistaka? No mistaka. Piltdown Man's builder's bum full moon had Soapy all afroth. Our Beermeister leads us all in "Ten toes up and ten toes down".

 

Our Hare has the Union flag stove pipe hat. I think the story is that the trail did not actually lead upto the trig point atop Rippon Tor. Why did it need to? Given its proximity, it was a dead cert that all would take advantage of such a natural view point. All but one - our tee-total GM Pocket Rocket. Coldtits went to the bar to get a glass of water whilst the Songmeister leads us in, "You're stupid. You're stupid. You're so damn dumb. If your Mother hadn't been there you'd be a lump of cum". How flattering.

 

Of course, the hare has to have a DD. But wait. Pisswell has a "new" RA bag and it is full of new RA paraphenalia. Out comes a turd mug and a brown paper bag with holes cut out for eyes, nose and mouth.....but not necessarily tailored for Beefy. It is not a good fit. Nevertheless, the DD is successfully dispatched to the sounds of S.H.I..Y.T.R.A.I.L.

 

Amazingly, and probably in the absence of Psycho, we still have two beers left. So are there any stories?

 

Forrest has one about a bad samaritan. One of our Hashers came across a prone Forrest on trail. What was he doing? Having just passed the rifle butts was he practicing his prone position? Instead of offering assistance, our samaritan embarked on a series of questions worthy of the Spanish inquisition.

"What are you doing here?"

"Why are you on your arse?"

"How long have you been here?"

"Do you have authority to be here?"

Whilst Forrest re-attaches his leg he humbly mumbles, "I fell over".

So who is our uncharitable inquisitor? Man-Pig.

 

The final half. Our RA simply asks, "Did anyone fall over this evening?" The final half is already making it's way towards Forrest's outstretched hand!

 

Next week

Next week's Hash is from Pisswell's abode (see FB page for exact location). Our Hare is, surprisingly, Pisswell.

 

On-On to next week MP

COLD EAST CROSS CAR PARK

 

Run #2081 Monday 23rd June Circle up 7:15pm from the car park at Cold East Cross, B3212,(what3words taps.fishnet.sharpen) with Beefy. OD The Rugglestone Inn, Widecombe in the Moor.

Please order your food, by phone, before you set out and say you are with the Hash.

Please see the menu posted earlier (subject to availability).

01364 621327

 

THE WORDS according to Beefy with supporting B feature

 

Run #2080 Monday 16th June

Court Farm Inn, Abbotskerswell

Hare: Strap-On

 

Popcorn is available in the foyer before taking your seats. The ice cream lady will be selling Kia Ora orange juice and choc ices at the interval. And now, dispensing with Pearl & Dean, curtains up for the feature.

 

Writer's block... who would have thought that someone who writes very rarely could have it? Am I sitting comfortably? No but, I am wearing my Freudian slippers, I have a Napoleon shandy to hand and I consider those who look forward to The Words being published as prospectors of fools gold.

 

I arrived at the Court Farm Inn, astride my trusty bicycle, as I am wont to do in less inclement weather, to find Hare, Strap On, in full beer top gear with Bee Flicker and Poacher as earlier arrivals.

 

Gradually, the car park filled with Hashers. As we all know, time is an allusion (sic) and Hash Time merely an affectation so, eventually, Piltdown Man called the Hash to order sometime after 7.20.

 

There were a few notices: Pork Torpedo invited us all to to His and Hornie's home to celebrate Hornie's Birthday on 5th July... the same day the Man Pig is laying the Devon A to B Trail.

 

Pisswell reminded us about the Widecombe barn dance the morning after which there will be a Hare of the Dog Trail as Hash #2082 (I think.) SMEllie said she wanted Venues confirmed for Trails booked, please. There might have been other stuff.

 

At the Circle were: Strap On, Strap Dancer, Cheerio Beerio, Bee Flicker, Slip on Me, Able Semen, Forrest Stump, Wet Johnny, Smash, Miss Mash, Bog Roll(?), Poacher, Piltdown Man, Georgie P'Orgy, Pisswell, Psycho, Warm Front, Pork Torpedo, Hornie, Pocket Rocket, SMEllie, Fukarwe, Bluebird, Archangel, Man Pig, Palmolive, Beefy and a gentleman from the Lunatics. Late to arrive was van commando and persistent former GM, Shitfaced who, resplendent in his beer-drinking flip flops, saw little of the evening's Trail.

 

The Hare had informed us of a sheep field on a Long/Short split and asked that no dogs were to go through. Also, for the Longs, there was an extra loop marked "LL". There was a safety brief in the form of an instruction not to follow Fukarwe if you happen to be lost on Trail: you're preaching to the choir, Strap On!

 

So, it was On through the pedestrian access to a Check on Slade Lane. On right and soon we overtook the Walkers with the Hare leading. On, and up, we went: up that hill, which is not a favourite of Wet Johnny's, we hear.

 

At the summit, we espied an indication of the promised VPs. We turned left into Yolhey (yes) Lane and On into Bitney Lane where we were treated to a brace of VPs overlooking agricultural land and, at the second, a distant view of The Priory retirement village where Psycho had been working that very afternoon. Coincidence? Yes. This was a "there and back again" diversion for us (Poacher, Bee Flicker, Warm Front, Psycho, Wet Johnny and Beefy) and, on our way back we met Man Pig running the other way.

 

Back onto Slade Lane, and so to the cross roads to encounter Maddacombe Road and Whiddon Road. "Isn't that where Only Here for the Beer's place is?" asked Bee Flicker. "It was." replied Beefy.

We continued along Bickley road where an arrow took us up through the woods to another VP. This one overlooking Stoneycombe quarry. Always worth a look no matter how many times we have been there and looking good under the descending Sun.

 

The Trail led us to Dainton where we caught up with FRB Pisswell, who went ahead by missing the the first VPs and maintained her lead.

 

We found a check in front of the bungalow by the Rape field. Warm Front and Beefy checked wrongly (knowingly) and returned to join the rest for a slightly different route through. Visual contact with Warm Front was lost temporarily but, a call to her was met with a reassuring call back.

 

Out onto Marldon which took us to the "Long Long" across Totnes Road into Moor Road then the pathways to Fermoys. The very well marked Trail took us along Totnes Road and right down Whiddon Road to the sheep field. Bee Flicker and Beefy decided to walk around the perimeter. It was a noisy experience with some sheep approaching us and others moving away but all bleating.

 

By the time we reached the outbound gate, Pisswell, Warm Front, Psycho and Wet Johnny caught up by walking straight across the field. Minutes later, we were suddenly back at the On-down where the rest of the Hash was sitting at various tables, with a drink, looking as if they had been there all afternoon.

Well done, Strap On. It was a very enjoyable Trail. Plenty of variety and well laid. Thank you.

 

As for the Down-downs? Well... Beefy was awarded the Union Flag top hat for jogging around the CP to make up the mileage. Guilty, for a mere 0.05 mile, it was worth it.

 

The uncaged 'Bird was singing joyfully on Trail much to the annoyance of Forrest who, it seems, passed him on to Fukarwe, who made a welcome return after hurting himself, quite badly, falling off a motorcyclist. Welcome back, Fukarwe!

 

Poacher got one for something which I don't recall. Wet Johnny got Shitfaced's (how do you say that?) Propeller head hat from Psycho, I think, but for what I know not. Able Semen got one. Did she "write it"? Had she "left it"? I don't know but, Pisswell sang a song all "about it"! Eventually, RA Forrest gave one to the Hare and, very well deserved it was.

 

On on Beefy.

 

INTERVAL lights up and Ice cream lady

 

B feature (B for Bird you fools)

 

FUKARWE'S REDEMPTION 

Recalling the previous week's shock to the system, the Bird did a half mile loosener, arriving upon the circle from the village entrance .

 

Many and varied were the announcements, most going in one ear and... but I do recall Pork Torpedo giving out a hash welcome to Hornie's special Birthday Party on Saturday 5th July, message PT for address. The rest escaped me as Strap-On patiently waited to get a word in.

 

The all important (vital for some) distances were delivered like a crack of impending doom: Long about six, long long (so long, let me know how you get on) perhaps the Magnificent Seven, shorts FOUR AND A HALF ... no-o-o-ooo and walkers just tag along with the hare who is about to lay it.

 

The hare then elaborated on his grand scheme with warnings galore. A private road, he'd talked to some residents roundabouts who didn't seem keen but avowed that we'd be rolling (rolling, rolling, keep them..) through anyway.

 

There was a field with many thousands of sheep (two hundred actually but I want to engender a little excitement as you seem to be nodding off) so keep all doggies tethered.

 

The icing on the hash [sic] cake was the promise of glorious viewpoints along the way - this doubtless adding mileage.

 

Finally, Strap-On launched into a fierce tirade aimed at the unfortunate Fukarwe 'Every trail I've ever laid, Fukarwe has messed it up! Don't do it this evening!'

 

And with that excellent rendition, we were mercifully released.

 

A few hundred yards after the off, a blonde pony-tailed lady (singalong with me - Chantilly Lace) was seen exiting her chariot in running attire. Poacher informed that it was Vampire from AH3. We never sighted her again so whether she joined us or not is a Miss Terry... no, well please...

 

The second check was by the Butchers Arms turn off. Closed in 2013 and now sadly designated as residential housing., a few of our seasoned hashers can recall this great OD, happy days.

 

Beeflicker was dutifully checking it out but the dastardly Poacher and his crony swept past up the hill with nary a pause. The Bird had been sighted by Archangel out on his loosener which had taken him up the leafy lane by the derelict pub. HA!

 

However, the Bird played the white man at the next check halfway up the hill as Poach loitered ready to kick the direction. Blast it, a cross, and back the Bird staggered, muttering to himself.

 

The mistaka had been costly as the vanguard was now upon us - Wet Johnny, Warmfront, the Pig, Forrest and Pisswell. The meeting was short-lived, however, as a L/S split and a VP tour came into play.

 

Hard a starboard did Forrest, Muttley and the Bird veer, leaving a disconsolate but much fitter Pisswell for the moment on her lonesome.

 

Forrest and the Bird had been having a right old natter until suddenly Forrest became aware that we hadn't seen any marks for a while. Just as Forrest cried 'mark alert!', we heard a shout behind us. It was Fukarwe calling us back.

 

The Bird was suspicious - especially recalling the dire warning at the circle. At a junction, Fukarwe pointed to a mark on the corner. I was wondering when he'd spot that...

 

The three veteran hashers continued though the Bird was dubious indeed. 'If it isn't down here, it'll go badly for you in the pub!' But the Bird was mistaken - we were only on! Hurrah! for Fukarwe, he's only saved us! All previous misdemeanours forgiven.

 

Onwards coursed the ag-ed gladiators - but there was a problemo. Forrest noticed that Muttley (thought it was Perry but apparently it was Mitch) was beginning to lag quite badly. Forrest was worried but not as worried as the Bird who had visions of carrying the afflicted Muttley back to the ranch-house - shades of the time he had carried Blaster's Crusher back after his legs had failed. Was that nigh on a score years ago?

 

Slower and slower went poor Muttley and then, abruptly, he stopped and had an enormous poop. Oh, the relief (for Muttley, you fools) and with that, Muttley bounded away. Problemo solv-ed!

 

Fukarwe peeled off onto the next long split, leaving Bird, Muttley and Forrest to continue their merry way past Able and Slip on Me and into the forbidding Private Road with an additional discouraging legend 'NO DOGS ALLOWED' posted at the entrance.

 

I didn't know where I was and I'd just been there. It seemed like the drive to a stately home and cautiously did the tiny cavalcade proceed.

 

Navigated without any kerfuffle, we passed the forties black and white striped post and descended to come out, most unexpectedly, outside the Court Farm entrance! With just 5K on the Garmin, it was just the ticket - the shortened version of the short owing to us omitting the VP option. Forrest went to stop his tech and recorded 0.01 - he hadn't started it, whatamistaka to have mada..

 

Nice trail, Strap-On, I cannot remember having done it that way round before and it completely disorientated me. If I had been by myself I would have ended up in Coffinswell,

 

Good Boy, Fukarwe, hero of the hour!

 

Hasta luego, El Pajaro

 

Next week: A Dartmoor epic from Cold East Cross with Beefy. OD The Rugglestone.