A WARM WELCOME FROM TVH3

Welcome to the Teign Valley Hash House Harriers of glorious South Devon. You are guaranteed a warm welcome and a great hash experience. We are the 'Party Hash' and we run from pubs all over Torbay, Dartmoor and the Teign Valley every Monday evening at 7.15pm. Our trails are marked with flour, chalk or sawdust and take in woodland, streams, byways, bridle paths and rolling countryside. We cater for all abilities, you needn't worry about keeping up, a leisurely walk with others or a good paced run if you're fit - you choose. The run duration is anything from 30 minutes to an hour and the distance is normally between 3-6 miles depending on whether you decide to take a short or long trail. Your first run is free, so come along and give it a go! After the run hashers enjoy a drink and food in the pub. On many occasions, the pub will lay on a 'Hash Menu', food specially for hashers.

WHAT TO EXPECT AT YOUR FIRST HASH

Starts soon after 7:15 pm each Monday.
The Grandmaster will gather the hash together in a circle and welcome Virgins & Visitors to TVH3 and inform the group of pertinent news or upcoming events.
Hares will announce details or the trail, number of long and short splits and regroups.

Down-Downs - sometimes at the circle but usually in the pub after the run. Hashers and harriets (lady hashers) have a half pint and under age hashers have a soft drink or water. If you are driving, just ask the RA for water.

A Down-Down is a means of punishing, rewarding, or merely recognizing an individual for any action or behavior. Once awarded, the downdown must be drunk without pause, otherwise the RA may take action!

Individuals may be recognized for outstanding service, or for their status as a visitor or newcomer.

Down-Downs also serve as punishment for misdemeanours real, imagined, or blatantly made up.

Such transgressions may include: wearing new shoes, pointing with a finger, or the use of real names rather than hash names.

Hash Names

The use of real names (nerd name) during an event is discouraged, and members are typically given a new "hash name," usually in deference to a particularly notorious escapade, a personality trait, or their physical appearance.

Members are named after attending the hash on several occasions or if something noteworthy occurs to prompt a naming.

Other hashers may share stories or observations about the individual, with the final name being chosen by general consensus from all suggestions put forward by the hash.

NEWCOMERS TO THE HASH
Completely new to hashing? Don't know what to expect? Worried, shy or nervous? You needn't be as all newcomers or virgins as they are known, will receive a warm welcome. When the hashers are called to make a circle - about 7:15 pm each Monday, the Grand Master will welcome all hashers and after various notices about forthcoming events etc are dealt with, he will ask if there are any visitors from other hashes or virgins present. You will be asked to come forward and be introduced to the hash. A tip to remember, don't wear new trainers as these are frowned upon by the RA (Religious Advisor) and will incur a sprinkling of flour over them. That's all there is to it and you can then step back and enjoy the run and the social get together after in the On Down (the pub). Whatever your pace, there are certain to be others who will keep you company along the trail. Walk, jog or run - it's up to you.
Hashing is all about making friends and having fun, so just turn up any Monday and have a go.

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Burns Night Celebrations with TVH3

Down-Down awards from the excellent evenings events were awarded to...
Soapy & Palmolive for an "Amazing trail" plus birthday Down-Downs.
Manpig for allowing the bat to inappropriately molest him.
Teapot for clearing the bar of customers with his bagpipes.
Beefy for carrying that Caber around the whole trail!
A naming for Georgie now for ever now McMuffin and
Adam now for ever to be known as Big Whopper 
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ICE WITH BURNS AND AN AMOROUS VAMPIRELLA

Run #1830 from the Dolphin at Bovey Tracey with hares Soapy & Palmolive
 
'Twas fair jeelit ootside come circle up time in the dark recesses of the Dolphin car park and it was fitting that hardy (Scots lookalike) folk congregated for Soapy and Palmolive's Birthday Basheroo the noo.
 
Much Milly milling aboot and it was tricky Shirley to see who was who and the old minces played tricks. From thirty feet away there seemed a splendid abomination of a wee laddie complete with caber and sonsie red beard. Only when I got closer did the apparition become yon Beefy. Och, hoots mon, there's a McBeefy loose aboot the hoose. No? Well...
 
Teapot - destined to be the star of the evening - called the roll at forty true blues and I can match and even surpass the sonsie tally with 42 here nam-ed:
 
GM Shitfaced, Winfield, Teapot, Manpig, Beefy the Caber Man, SM Ellie, Last of the Mohicans came back from China and travels, Soapy, Melon Picker, Palmolive, Fishbait, Small Fry, Big End, Well Hopped, Bobby, Wiggy, Plonker, Artful Dogger, Woof Woof, Piltdown, Strap-On, Anne, Only Here, Dog End, Georgie, Adam, Wet Johnny, Manopause, Erection, Mateus Rose, I-Poo'd, Slip on Me, SatNav, Coldtits, Able, Forrest, Doris, Rambo, Para, BroadS and Hoots Bat.
 
Heard tell of a long, short and walkers' wi [Scottish sic] a SSS - Scottish Sweetie Stop ye Sassenachs and the Hoots Bat, Plonker and Artful Dogger legged it oot into braw Bovey. Do ye follow safari?
 
The lads were Shirley on a mission (both shorts/tee shirts) and champing at the bit and soon we found ourselves at the make your minds up fork below the church. The marks were cunning - tiny (Palmolive pixie like) and hidden behind lamp posts and doorways giving the early hint that the hares didnae want the FRBs to have too much fun.
 
The falsies were manifold Manny and along a promising muddy lane we splashed until Last of the Mohicans called: 'It's a long way (to Tipperary) since a mark!' and reluctantly we turned to retrace our faltering footsteps. The hare had got there after us and fresh arrows had appeared but all's fair in laying and we took it on the chin.
 
A long and winding road to get back with the pack but eventually stragglers from the short were passed and it got quite congested with longs, shorts and walkers intermixed. Tempting indeedy was the opportunity to duck through the wire and save two or three hundred yards but we all soldiered on. However, a little birdie tweeted that Wet Johnny - still injured and operating on impulse power only - had suddenly appeared in the thick of the longs with Plonker. But never mind, needs be on this occasion WJ.
 
At three miles the SSS loomed large - being the back of Melon Picker's chariot and McBeefy was already there, still caber accompanied.
 
Off we wended once more and suddenly a dread cry of: 'ICE, watch out!' cut through the chill air. Yes, nemesis had Shirley arrived in the form of the Bovey Heathland Nature Reserve. And what a god-forsaken frozen patch of land it was.
 
Came upon Fishbait and the ever enthusiastic Small Fry as well as I-Poo'd who was making a great fist of things some way out on the short. I must also mention Coldtits and McWiggy who strangely kept appearing in front of us at various points of the trail. The difficult frozen puddle section was right up BroadS street [accidental sic] and he, unlike some, was in his element out there. And thank you, Manopause for legging it on the Newton Road run-in when I stopped to tie my laces.
At last the haven of the Old Newton Road and the blessed tarmac all the way back home with a five miler recorded.
 
A splendid evening's entertainment inside the Dolphin ensued with an impressive presentation of the haggis, piped in by Teapot in full regalia. Manpig in McIntosh tartan kilt and dress jacket escorted the lone piper with McWiggy bearing the haggis platter.
 
Teapot then played the Flower of Scotland, the rugby anthem with accompanying lyrics courtesy of our RA and a tear was shed by the believers.
 
Manpig read out the revered Robbie Burns Address to a Haggis which was as good as I've heard it - no jokes here, it was a sound reading.
 
McWiggy dispensed the wee foil encased portions of haggis with neeps and tatties to complete the Burns appreciation evening.
 
Back to the script and the DDs proceeded with the Birthday Girls getting their drink and a brace of namings (covered by Winfield below). I had tried in vain to regain my Vampirella Bat Hat from SM Ellie but she had insisted that 'she' was needed for the award. With mounting trepidation, I listened to the awful story unfold about Vampirella's attraction to certain male hashers... I had stern words with her when I got her back home - like myself, she doesn't get out very often...

"CELEBRATING BURNS NIGHT IN TARTAN" by WINFIELD
A great Tartan turnout from the pack. Beefy was even carrying a Caber with him all the way, as we headed off around Bovey on a great trail from the Birthday Hares.To passing cars and pedestrians this must have looked like another invasion,remember 1646? but this time it was the Scottish horde who wound its way into muddy woodland, before finding the excellent Iru-Bru and biscuit stop manned by Mellon Picker.
On-On onto a still frozen Bovey Heath with the pack now well spread out finding the correct route was a test. With torches flashing and calls from all directions it was Plonker who guided me towards the Bovey Straight road, but I needed to get over the fencing to reach it! A handy stump plus a overhanging branch finally allowed me to escape onto firm dry land, just a matter now of avoiding the traffic as the Tartan Army headed back to Bovey.
The Dolphin had kindly allowed space with a few less customers! present, before the Haggis ceremony commenced, piped in by Teapot wearing his full regalia followed by the Haggis bearers for the address.
Down-Down awards from the excellent evenings events were awarded to...
 
SOAPY & PALMOLIVE for an "Amazing trail" plus birthday Down-Downs.
MANPIG for allowing the bat to inappropriately molest him.
TEAPOT for clearing the bar of customers with his bagpipes.
BEEFY for carrying that Caber around the whole trail!
A naming for Georgie now for ever now McMUFFIN and
Adam now for ever to be known as BIG WHOPPER
Well done the Hares and the Haggis Party for an excellent evening.
 
POSTSCRIPT
It was an eventful evening and something different by the Birthday hares. The trail was made testing by the frozen puddles in the nature reserve but the road sections balanced it all out in the end - solid [sic] trail hares.
 
It really was a game of two halves with the Burns appreciation night in the Dolphin and Teapot, Manpig and McWiggy put on a breathtaking display which surprised and delighted all present. Teapot was brilliant and professional and was ably backed up by the splendidly attired McManpig and grateful thanks must go to our talented chef for his wee haggis vision and the hard work in preparing the delicacy. A fun night, thank you everyone.
 
ON ON to next week Mon 27th Jan 7:15 The Drum Inn Cockington (TQ2 6XA) with Hares Beefy & Pisswell

ARCHANGEL LIVE LAYS FOR ONLY THE BRAVE

Run #1829 Monday 13th January from the Railway Brewhouse, Newton Abbot with hare Archangel

'Deep within Hackney Marshes, an arm was raised aloft, Lady of the Lake like and a reflex twitch splattered a handful of flour...'

The forecast was grave and hashers had braced themselves for the incoming Storm Brendan. Many a wilting hash flower did demur* deciding they had an urgent appointment elsewhere and it was Only the Brave who saddled up and ventured out, Oh Dearly I Don't Want To Get Wet If I Can Possibly Help It...

No Teapot and Piltdown asked if I had a good memory. For such a tiny band of stalwarts it was fairly easy:

GM Shitfaced, Winfield, Piltdown, Georgy, Archangel, 69, Able, Slip on Me, Beefy, Wet Johnny, Manopause, Erection, Manpig, a moustachioed panto Forrest, SM Ellie, Pisswell, Soapy, Palmolive, Melon Picker, BB, Flasher, Plonker, Doris & Wiggy, Two dozen brave souls whose names would live on until closing time at least.

A reluctant little huddle was formed outside the Brewhouse to hear the rallying call of Shitfaced - Oh Yes, he came back, a Grand Master like him, complete with the Hash Moses lookalike Staff which would doubtless be needed to part the prodigious puddles out there in storm ravaged Newton.

Piltdown's 64 thousand dollar question (what he had been bought for his 64th birthday by Georgy) predictably had the bold band baffled though many a valiant attempt was made. Magic hair restorer, a dildo and a defibrillator being some of the likely contenders. Closest was Manpig's witty defibrillator as a blood pressure monitor was the answer, Oh Dearly Don't Call Me, I'll Call You. But I am wittering on again, why didn't you stop me? Let us return to the saga that was in the making that wild and stormy night...

The GM informed the shivering shambles that Archangel was out there somewhere 'live' laying the trail and that we shouldn't be too alarm-ed. Sweetie stops and other ornaments there would be none and it (the trail you fools) was out there somewhere. Vaya con dios and we were released into the welcoming arms of Storm Brendan..

What we hadn't known was that Archangel had started the lay at 4:30 pm and had already been out in the storm for nigh on three hours before we set off and the elements were starting to take their toll on even this battle hardened hasher..

A silly sod around Courtenay Park for the longs allowed the shorts cum walkers to filch a nice little lead before they turned off into Brunel industrial estate. Down to Penn Inn for the longs and the cut back into Aller Brook. Flasher and Plonker were flying and Beefy, Manopause, Erection, Manpig and Forrest mit Muttley were to the fore. What of Wet Johnny? I hear you ask. Well, the dear boy had succumbed to a calf injury and was walking wounded with the shorts. Doubtless he'll be back, Arnie style.

Over the bridge above the A380 the marks merrily splodged until the trail petered out. True, there was a cross to the left but nothing else. Beefy, (correctly as it turned out) reasoned that perhaps the true trail was back over the bridge but others felt the cross should either have been a HA HA or a check back.

In any event, the decision was made to boldly go our own way down to the Teign and at least get a run in.  Under the massive flyover and a few yards along the bank, Plonker and Flasher rediscovered the trail! GAME ON! Well done lads and with hope in our hearts we coursed onwards.

Meanwhile, deep within Hackney Marshes, an arm was raised aloft, Lady of the Lake like and a reflex twitch splattered a handful of flour. Soaking wet and getting colder by the minute, Archangel was laying on instinct only. However, there was no time to rest, the pack could appear at any moment..

With all the to and froing, the pack had concertinaed and SM Ellie and late arriving Pisswell joined the fray.

A plethora of marks did assail our eyes as we entered the de rigueur racecourse loop. Round and round, up and down and back and forth we fled as the marks came thick and fast. We met Soapy and Palmolive coming back to us and they revealed that they were on the long as well.

The grand denouement came as we were directed into Hackney Marshes - presumably for a laugh or two. Flasher and Plonker's head torches were seen returning but they then called the ON ON.

Splashing into a small clearing, we came upon a macabre set. Around a confused blob - Shirley this was the 'reflex twitch' that had splattered the handful of flour - came our comrades round.  Flasher's dread words of 'There's no way out from here!' sank [Shirley sic] in just as a gay 'ON ON' was heard seemingly OFF TRAIL on the tarmac lane beyond the marsh.  'Are you longs?!' 'Why yes!' shouted back Manpig and with muttered curses, we extricated ourselves from the morass to find Pisswell and SM Ellie peering over a gate to see what we were doing - which was not a lot as it happened.

Back to the Brewhouse without further ado or mishap and it was almost a pity to end our magical adventure though the Brewhouse beer beckoned. Many variations of the trail were recorded but all that went out are to be congratulated. You are truly real hashers.
Ave, vale, hail and farewell!

* archaic form

WINFIELD'S STORM BRENDAN MEMORIES on trail 1829
At the last count 24 Hashers braved the elements to circle up outside the Railway Brewhouse well protected for a run in the storm.to support Hare Archangel who at present was.. still out there somewhere battling with clouds of flour in the storm! An immediate LS split took the Long around Courtenay Park with the Short heading on towards the Brunel Estate eventually we were all finding ourselves on Hackney Marshes. The Flour was hard to spot in the wind and rain but after the new Cycle bridge A distant dimly lit figure?? approached dispensing a dusting of flour all over us as it passed. Meeting a return curve next some headed on back after him while others including Soapy and Palmolive decided to carry on towards the very muddy marshland.The returning short were soon back at the Bridge encouraging the Longs to go over...not cut short! In the wind and rain we were soon grateful to be back in town, changing now for a very welcome drink plus an excellent buffet.
The Awards from this testing evening were awarded to...

ARCHANGEL for heroic efforts in storm Brendan drinks up with one eye on his train time!
SOAPY for asking if we would still be doing DD's !!
S.M.ELLIE seen to be first home on the Long?
PISSWELL for asking what we were thinking of, "running in Newton Abbot" ?

Well done the Hare for a great trail in a storm!

POSTSCRIPT
What a night and what an effort by Archangel to live lay the trail in the conditions.  Well-earned indeed was his beer when he staggered into the Brewhouse just after 8 pm.  The Brewhouse was a good old-fashioned spit and sawdust bar with intriguing ales.  Even with our numbers reduced, there was a rattling good atmosphere and the evening was enjoyed by all. Yet another adventure I am glad I didn't miss! Thanks Archangel, you did good out there.

ON ON to next week Monday 20th Jan. Circle 7:15 at The Dolphin Hotel "Celebrate Burns Night in Tartan" with Birthday Hares Soapy & Palmolive.


The unforgettable Mud from Trail 1828

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 the birthday Hare,here drinks up carefully from his new trainers.. Happy Birthday!
Runner B prepares to drink for causing confusion at the start!
Dog loving Deborah now for ever to be known as Dog End! needed to sit for her DD??
Bluebird who fell in the river! encouraged now by S.M.E to get wet inside!
BroadS Having now reached 50Runs is ready to down a DD in one go!

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A WEASEL PLAN & YOU'VE GOT TO HAVE FAITH

Run #1828 Monday 6th January from the Teign & Stover CP, OD the King's Arms with Flasher and Friends

The first run of a new decade and the lads were out in force to lay for Flasher's birthday. A band of heavy rain swept through early afternoon delaying proceedings. Oh yes, it was going to be testing conditions out there t'teddy bear..

The lean longs had a plan so cunning you could put a tail on it and call it a weasel. After consulting the slide-rule it was discerned that it was a mere 3/4 M from the King's Arms at Kingsteignton to the circle CP. Shirley it would be sheer folly to park in the middle of nowhere and then have all the shorts and walkers nab the spaces at the pub.

And so, Oh Dearly Thwarted, it came to pass that the Good ol' Boys gathered at the OD for a leisurely warm-up jog to the circle. HA!

Proudly did our banners fly as we sallied out of the tunnel circle bound. Warriors Wet Johnny and Manopause, Beefy, BroadS and the surfin' Bird, oh what a glorious sight we made and Fallen Woman who drove past the cavalcade did concur...

The inky black and partially flooded circle CP was already a confused maelstrom of chariots as we arrived and smug indeedy were the Famous Five - but the fickle Fates frowned and some of us would be punished for our complacency..

Teapot was on station at the entrance, busily taking names and a forty plus roll was attained. Vague indeed is the memory but I'll avago:

Winfield, Teapot, Flasher, Runner Bean, Plonker, Pork Torpedo, Hornie, Fallen Woman, Manopause, Wet Johnny, Beefy, BroadS, SM Ellie, Stung Down Under, Manpig, Poles Piddler, Wiggy, Only Here, Debbie, 3Sum, SatNav, Archangel, Big End, Well Hopped, Slip on Me, Strap-On, Ann, Ernie, Piltdown, Able, Georgia, Adam, U Bend, 69, Coldtits, Doris, BB, Soapy, Melon Picker and Woof Woof. 40 listed and apologies if I missed you out.

In the absence of our revered Grand Master (we missed you) Winfield called the crew to order before summoning the authors of the evening's entertainment. There was a slight disagreement (which would seal Runner Bean's fate before we had even started) between the hares until it transpired that there were three L/S splits and a SS sited somewhere out there in the malevolent morass. Walkers to the left and longs/shorts to the right.. Yo!

After last wek's debacle, I had switched to dimpled road shoes, which though not ideal, afforded a little traction on the less muddy sections. Unfortunately, I had forgotten to put insoles in - a decision which would be rued later..

It soon became apparent that the marks were spaced out and faith had to be put in the hares. And I had faith in the hares, rollin' rollin' rollin' even when the way seemed uncertain to trailblazer Wet Johnny. The trail was clever, the shorts converging with the longs (apologies to U Bend for my rude comments) as we wended our sodden way along the banks of the Teign and all seemed well until it all went horribly wrong...multiple sighs
A funnel shaped field posed the question - left or right? In the absence of clues, I kept the faith and bore right, taking Wet Johnny and Beefy with me but even they lost faith after nigh on a half mile of no marks and they turned back.

However, I still had faith and continued doggedly onwards. Shirley a mark would appear and my faith would be Shirley vindicated? I still had faith up to the moment I slipped on a slick bend and crashed into the river. I then lost faith.

What to do? Turn back and be the butt of cruel jokes at my soggy expense? No, I would continue and head 'em off at the next river crossing.

Meanwhile, Beefy, Wet Johnny, Manopause, Manpig, Woof Woof and BroadS were (correctly) heading for Stover Park and gawd only knows the whereabouts of the others.

Two near fatal mistakas occurred roughly at the same time. Beefy and BroadS (and others?) missed the left turn for Stover Park and headed for Heathfield while a mile to the north I closed rapidly (on lovely tarmac) with Chudleigh Knighton before turning.

The end result was Beefy covering TEN miles and out for two hours, BroadS nearly EIGHT miles and ninety five minutes and similar stories for WJ, Manopause et al.

I may have had harder hash runs since 1985 but I cannot recall being as exhausted as I was when I finally got back to the King's Arms. Ask Bobby, he'll tell you.

There were tales aplenty to marvel about inside the King's Arms. Well Hopped and Big End related the carnage caused by a wicked HA HA - lads, how could you? and running down one side of a hedge with the shorts on the other side. Manopause had pleaded with other hashers not to follow him as he had no idea where he was and Manpig refused to comment and may have committed some dastardly deed en routey. I have no intelligence on the SS and whether anyone - apart from the shorts and walkers - actually made it. Answers on a postcard please.

WINFIELD'S VIEW
Muddy memories from trail 1828 Mon 6th Jan at the Teign and Stover Canal Car Park a Birthday Hash with Hare Flasher and Friends. Near the aptly named Gallows Cross!, a heavy downpour had certainly added something extra to the Hares Trail! as 40plus Hashers were soon "slip sliding" their way along, one of the most muddy footpaths ever! beside the river Teign, heading on towards Teigngrace. The Short 3+miles, with the long on a testing 10 miler!. Soon on soggy meadows, going was a little easier, before somehow ending up on the cycle track,

Decided at next check, on what was now a pleasant evening to cut across the meadows footpath. No marks! must be off route? but somehow Satnav 3Sum and I did finally emerge back on the Old Exeter Rd not far from the CP so all good in the end! Back at the OD in The Kings Arms Kingsteignton, many tales from the Trail were exchanged over a beer and the excellent buffet.

Awards for the pack were presented to .....
FLASHER the birthday Hare,here drinks up carefully from his new trainers.. Happy Birthday!
RUNNER BEAN prepares to drink for causing confusion at the start!
Dog loving Deborah now for ever to be known as DOG END! needed to sit for her DD??
BLUEBIRD who fell in the river! encouraged now by S.M.E to get wet inside!
BROADSHIT Having now reached 50Runs is ready to down a DD in one go!
Well done all the Hares for an excellent trail and OD!

POSTSCRIPT
Well lads, you very nearly did for your (very) old schoolmate. What a great adventure to survive and tell the story. Happy birthday Flasher! If I'm still around, ask me at the end of 2020 my most memorable hash - this one is a strong contender - even with 51 to go...

ON ON to next week Mon.13th Jan 7:15 The Railway Brewhouse Newton Abbot (TQ12 2BS) Hare: Archangel No official parking "best to go green on local transport!"

Award Memories from our final 2019 trail Mon 30th Dec from The Jolly Sailor

Only there for the Beer- for respecting his elders with a 10p loan !
Zen - who thought the Trotters regroup would offer him refreshments!
Fallen Woman for assisting a struggling Bluebird
Hotlips held responsible for all that mud on trail
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JOLLY JOLLY SAILOR PARKING & LITTLEJOY ROAD ON THE TRAIL OF THE LONESOME BAT

Run #1827 Monday 30th December from the Jolly Sailor, East Ogwell with hares Zoot & Hotlips


Dark, dry and dreadful were the depths of East Ogwell as the chariots converged on the Jolly Sailor. The three Wise Men, Beefy, Para and the Bat had travelled from afar to secure their spaces for the inevitable jolly Jolly [sic] Sailor car parking carnage..


Forty plus hashers eventually made the circle, including yon virgin Jessica who turned up with new shoes and was gleefully peppered with flour by Teapot who has a particular venom for pristine footwear. Some unfamiliar faces lurked on the periphery: Bigfoot ('Nothing on the tv tonight!'} and Shortie - returnees after many a year; Zen - got his name right this time and Ernie (who drove the fastest.. you know what I mean Shirley) from TamarH3.


I recall a mere forty as follow:

Winfield, Teapot, Beefy, Para, Fishbait, Knotty, Strap-on, Ann, Chris, Only Here, Slip on Me, Manpig, Wet Johnny, Bigfoot, Shortie, Zen, Ernie, Artful Dogger, Fallen Woman, Jessica, Rambo, Doris, Zoot, Hotlips, 3Sum, SatNav, Wigwam, Soapy, Melon Picker, Piltdown, Able, Well Hopped, Big End, Zorro, Twinkletoes, Teararse, Debbie, Georgia, Adam and the Bat. A rare no show was the Grand Master Himself to be sure, leaving Winfield to come to the aid of the party.


The hares hadn't had a trouble-free lay as Hotlips had been lurgy laid low leaving Zoot to soldier on Sunday with the preliminary marks. Hotlips had heroically risen from his death bed on the Monday to complete the trail with Zoot. Never in the course of TV hashing has so much been owed by so many hashers... No? Well...


Circle chat completed, the wagons rolled out in search of the promised land with Wiggy briefly assuming chief scout duties up front. The Artful Dogger had slyly advised the Bat that he'd seen marks on the way over and it was on some of his 10K training run on Sunday. The superb blue Nike Odyssey racing flats were donned and the Bat was content...


Oh yes, My Dearly Beloved, there was beautiful road aplenty BUT not for the first mile. I would prefer not to dwell on my mistaka, Oh Dearly Bearing Ill Will to those that delighted in my predicament. Yes, you Melon Picker who left me trailing far behind with many a snigger. At least Dear Old Dad tried to assist.

It was left to Fallen Woman to rescue the by now tearful Bat and on they sallied through the savage shiggy until waving cheerio at the L/S split.


Just after two miles, the aptly named (for the Bat that is) Littlejoy Road loomed and a wild and lonely road it was as I wended my way up. At the summit and having lost all hope of sighting another hasher, faint cries were heard and head torches could be glimpsed far below. Oh joy resumed from the Littlejoy Road and with renewed vigour, loudly did I blow Roland's mighty horn* to proclaim that the Bat was still annoyingly there...


And there they were up ahead, a little huddle progressing along the desolate lane. Bigfoot, easily identified with little Shortie alongside and Heavens to Murgatroyd! there was Strap-on!! They were trundling along very nicely thank you and the Bat was impressed.


The one saving grace was the ever reliable marks and you really couldn't go wrong on the trail of the Lonesome Bat.


What of the other longs? I hear you gently enquire. Well, I'm going to tell you a story - whether you like it or not.


It's the continuing story of that legend in the making, Wet Johnny. I am reliably informed that he did it again - running from Ipplepen, doing the five mile hash and running back to Ipplepen - with no beer! This is a hasher with a very serious running problem and I can't see it ending well. I have him at the top of my Hit List for 2020.

Anyway, Beefy finally caught up with the flying Johnny as did the Artful Dogger who had been led a quarter of a mile off course by some idiot who had assured him: 'Trust me, we're definitely ON!'


I only briefly (about twenty yards) ran with Well Hopped, Big End/Ned but assume they were up with the likes of perennial longs, Manpig and Zorro.


It was packed in the Jolly Sailor and the landlord John was on his own, serving food and manning the bar. He had been expecting 15-20 hashers apparently and had been just a tiny bit overwhelmed. A seasoned local confided that he had 'never' seen so many hashers in the Sailor - but then he had only been a 'local' for five years. Jail and Tribute were on tap and a fine time was had by all. Thank you Zoot and Hotlips, a very good night indeed.


*The Song of Roland


POSTSCRIPT

Another year done and dusted and what a good year it has been. So many new faces and personalities to infuse new life and strength into TVH and so many adventures along the way. I know I'm a bit late, but I wish you all a very Happy New Year - and the decade to come.



WINFIELD'S MEMORIES OF OUR FINAL TRAIL OF 2019 from The Jolly Sailor, East Ogwell, with Hares Zoot & Hotlips.


A final big turnout of 40+ Hashers,ready to enjoy! the last run plus a post Christmas workout. An excellent trail had been laid by our Hares even though Hotlips was with "manflu". A final Virgin Hasher was duly anointed plus a welcome to Big Foot and Shortie before we headed on with a 5 Mile Long,3 Short, plus 2 Walk.

Leading us up onto Ogwell Common. After this the mud was deep and slippery and certainly not even! on our way down towards the river Lemon. Bluebird in flat racing shoes was certainly not enjoying this and for once we could leave him behind! shouting and cursing, as we headed eventually on-on to road!


This was a great trail where I for once was totally disorientated when off road again, slipping and sliding along unfamiliar lanes. Far in the distance lights from a pub shone out but not ours as Soapy Paraprick and I finally emerged into civilization, still following that guiding star on the Church I nearly missed out O/H car park!

Final awards for 2019 went to....


ONLY HERE FOR THE BEER (Hashit Shirt)- for respecting his elders with a 10p loan !

ZEN (White Bat hat) who thought the Trotters regroup would offer him refreshments!

FALLEN WOMAN for assisting a struggling Bluebird

HOTLIPS held responsible for all that mud on trail


ON ON to next week: Circle 7:15 in Teign and Stover Canal Car Park on Teigngrace Road (TQ12 3QJ) Birthday Hash for Flash with other Uni Friends. On Down the King's Arms, Kingsteignton (TQ12 3EG)

Pre-Christmas Memories on Trail 1826, 23 Dec from the The Park Inn with Hares:- Paraprick and Archangel

The large pack all wore something festive for this Hash as instructed!
 
Although there was a very short trail, first to The Lord Nelson, next stop The Sloop. Like several other groups Satnav No69 and I decided to do a short? circuit for fitness! Which after a steep climb up past The Sloop the expected right turn circuit never appeared, until we had stumbled up and down over rocks and mud into Coffinswell! Pressing on through wall to wall water as we approached Daccombe Mill, a final steep climb did take us to the Lord Nelson thank goodness! Here most Hashers were now moving on to the Clipper, but we stayed to enjoy a drink and meet up with ex Hasher Mr Pastry. before we headed on to the the Sloop for more refreshment and the final run in to The Park Inn, The pubs Draw festivities were in full swing, with a delicious Chilly spread also prepared and set up for us before...
 
The Awards for the evenings offenders were presented to..
 
RUNNER BEAN nominated as one of the Uni-boys for leading others astray on.the Long
WIGWAM for receiving a phone call at the Circle.
PARAPRICK:- for the very short trail, next time he is going to make it very athletic ,...by Quad bike!
MANPIG :- for whatever he was up-to with TEAPOT in his car before the DD's ?
A great evening well done all.
 
HAPPY CHRISTMAS!
 
On-On to Next week 30th Dec 7:15 at The Jolly Sailor, East Ogwell, Newton Abbot,TQ12 6AW, with Hares Zoot & Hotlips

Monday 16th Dec Christmas Draw Trail...

At our circle a young Abigail was anointed already having named herself "Little Elf" Draw Organisers Satnav, Able, & Soapy,  Archangel with his 700 Runs Badge and U-Bend with his 60th Birthday Cake.

Image may contain: 1 person, smiling, standing and hatImage may contain: 2 people, people smiling, people standing and indoorImage may contain: 1 person, smiling, standing and indoorImage may contain: Peter Exon, smiling

RAISE YOUR GLASSES TO OUR VICE PRESIDENT KC

Run #1825 Monday 16th December from the Kings Arms, Kingsteignton with hare Shitfaced

Sad news at the circle when Archangel reported the passing of our much-loved Vice President KC. He was a true hash hound, famed for his amorous predilections. KC had made but a few appearances the past few months and we were prepared for the inevitable at least. Raise your glasses please to celebrate his passing, he will be missed.

The wise had arrived early to get a space in the dark but adequate pub car park but some, knowing the Kings Arms well, had made alternative chariot tethering and came a jingle bell jogging to the circle.
Talking of impending Christmas cheer, SM Ellie flitted past, attired in a fetching Santa outfit - cue sighs of approval..

Through a light brown Leg End haze, I can vaguely recall around forty five as Shirley follow here:
GM Shitfaced, Abigail the Elf, BroadS, Santa SM Ellie, Piltdown, Georgy, Teapot, SatNav, Able, Winfield,  I-Poo'd, Pan Fart, Bush Baby, U Bend, Piddler, Pork Torpedo, Hornie, Manpig, 69, Wigwam, Fishbait, Only Here, Wet Johnny, Manopause, Erection, Wetfart, returnee Stung Down Under, Fallen Woman, Broken Man, Slip on Me, Big End, Well Hopped, BB, Coldtits, Archangel, Rambo, Doris, Strap-on (newly named), Zorro2, Debbie, Georgia, Adam, Robert and Woof Woof. A couple of others as well but being feeble-minded I can't recall their hash handles.

Circle conveneth came the presentation of a tiny elf - imported specially for the occasion and at great expense - and delightfully did Abigail skip forward for the initiation by flour. 'Why, it must be Elf 'n' Safety!' uttered a snowstorm lit hat attired Fallen Woman.. No? Well...

Made later than usual, Pan Fart and Bush Baby had arriv-ed in Kingskerswell searching fruitlessly for the Kings Arms. Ah well, they escaped a DD for the mistaka anyway.

Great knowledge, logic and experience count for very little on a hash as Penners Wet Johnny and Manopause were to discover.

'Look Manopause, it'll only be a three miler at best for the long tonight, so let's run to Kingsteignton (from Ipplepen?) and make up the difference!' Wet Johnny did opine and Shirley, I would have agreed with him BUT... A strawberry flavoured yoghurt sent it spinning from his hand...

There were two major flaws in the cunning plan. Manopause's estimate of about three miles to the pub was out just a tad (5 miles plus) and the Grand Master was laying the trail - and he liked to give value... sigh

Notices exhausted, the high-ranking hare stepped forward with staff of office once more restored. A long, about FIVE MILES and a 'runners' trail' (zoom to WJ's and Manopause's little faces) a short, three miles and a walking trail PLUS a special drinkers' trail (presumably straight to the bar, I never did find out) and one last thing, there may be a smidgen of drizzle later on...

The glad tidings thus dispensed, we tunnel funnelled out to embark on another glorious adventure...HA!

Seemingly unaffected by the five mile 'warm-up' Wet Johnny was to the fore from the get-go and the Bat bade him a fond farewell after a mile...sigh

The usual cast of FRBs took up station: Man Pig, Big End/Ned and Well Hopped and that seemed to be it as strangely there appeared to be no other takers, but more on this situation a bit later, Oh Dearly Are You Still Paying Attention?

Runners' trail indeed, flat, mainly road and nary a check to be seen - Oh Heaven, if only I were fit and not fit for nuthin' and on we surged, spread out on both sides of the road and working as a team but the joker was about to be played in our little game..

And the Grand Master raised his carv-ed staff aloft and invoked the heavens to open..
.
Just as the Wise One had foretold, the rains came and jollity unabated did rain [come on, obviously sic].

Braking hard at the Bell Inn (oh so near to the beer) we cut through the alley to the churchyard - just as Man Pig had Shirley prophesied a few minutes earlier. Then miraculously, a trail of lights converged with us - Shirley the shorts but wait, what's this?  Woof Woof, Manopause, Zorro2, Pan Fart and Bush Baby - no short trail hashers here and apparently they had missed a turning on the long but they were back so all sins forgiven and a bit of banter to raise our flagging spirits.

Five miles in the bag and now safely in the hash-friendly Kings Arms. Nice one GM.

Gemma was unassisted behind the bar but the Leg End was £3.60 - nuff said.

Time for the Christmas Draw and SatNav, assisted by Soapy and Able had prepared a magnificent array of prizes.

WINFIELD'S MEMORIES on Trail1825

Our.Christmas Draw organised by Satnav with a trail from The Kings Arms Kingsteignton plotted by Hare:-Shitfaced. At our circle a young Abigail was anointed already having named herself "Little Elf" followed in by Archangel who announced the sad passing-on of KC our Vice President, that very active! Jack Russell. "Alexa" was spot on with the weather forecast, as by 8pm it was raining again! We headed on around the streets of Kingsteignton along with No69, Coldtitz and Wigwam passing many excellent Christmas displays. Deciding we were already wet enough on the outside, this now seemed a good the time to re-enter The Kings Arms for a beer inside! before the Draw started. The display had been fully set up by Satnav, Able Semen & Soapy, with those crucial draw lists displayed ready for action!

AWARDS for the evening were presented to....
.
WET JOHNNY (hashit shirt) for saving the taxi fare by running in from Ipplepen.
MANOPAUSE (horsey horseface hat)  who was also tempted to join him!
U-BEND whose miscalculation made it not his 60th Birthday!
ARCHANGEL who cheerfully accepted his 700thRun badge at last!

POSTSCRIPT
About to leave when Just Coming came back to look for her purse which we eventually found - much to her relief - in the car park near her motor bike. A most enjoyable evening and I loved the trail - designed for the runners amongst us, though poor Ned wasn't quite as enthusiastic - poor paws on the unrelenting road.

Just one other thing, where were you Beefy? I only realized you were missing halfway into the run!

ON ON to next week and a Christmas Run (7:15 pm) from The Park Inn TQ12 5BQ,with Hares:- Paraprick & Archangel Don't forget to wear something festive on this Hash.

HASH SUBS

HASH SUBS £25 and for your assistance you can now use the BACS payment system to pay please.
Details as follows.... Hash Account number 69068186 Sort code 55-70-01 NOTE you must use your HASH NAME as a reference. Many thanks Three-Some & Satnav

TVH3 HABERDASHERY LINK

NEW MISMANAGEMENT & CONTACT TELS.

Grand Master Shitfaced mobile 07973 682201
Vice G M Winfield mobile 07855355338
On Sec Piltdown Man mobile 07773038756
R A Organiser Teapot
R A Manpig
R A Forrest Stump
R A Fallen Woman
Hash Cash Threesome
Hash Tax Satnav
Trail Raiser Doris
Haberdashery Zoot
Song Master Pork Torpedo
Social Sec T. Humper
Spider /Web Bluebird
Life President Pottsie
Vice President K C sadly not with us

JESSE'S DD FROM THE TALLY HO!

EXPLANATION OF ARCHIVE TVH3 SITES

GREATHASHGOD: A dedicated site (presently mothballed and serves as archive content only) with all TVH3 content. Mostly photos from each Monday's hash but also some video clips. Named after our Life President Pottsie.

PRECONDEROTOUS: Containing the entire archive of TVH3 of some 1000 vid clips and over 5000 posts and photos. Started on November 11th 2007, the site is active with Bluebird's personal content but the archive content is fascinating and preserved, well worth a look.

Fukarwi

Fukarwi

REARENDER

REARENDER

TEAPOT

TEAPOT

SOAPY

SOAPY

MOULDY DICK

MOULDY DICK

MELONPICKER

MELONPICKER

FALLEN WOMAN

FALLEN WOMAN

DORIS

DORIS

BROKEN MAN

BROKEN MAN

ARCHANGEL

ARCHANGEL

ABLE SEMEN

ABLE SEMEN

Previously unreleased clip - Vicky's naming from the Sea Trout

FOR TVH3 HABERDASHERY CONTACT ZOOT

FOR TVH3 HABERDASHERY CONTACT ZOOT

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