SMUGGLERS INN

 Run #2053 Monday 9th December Circle up 7:15 pm from the Smugglers Inn, 27 Teignmouth Rd, Dawlish EX7 0LA with U Bend.

"Brrrrrrr"

TVH3 The Words for 2nd December 2024

The King William IV, Totnes

Run No. 2052

HARE: Wet-Johnny

Who wuz there: Wet-Johnny, Man-Pig, Hotlips, Zoot, Beefy, Pisswell, Pocket Rocket, Piltdown Man, Georgy Porgy, Smellie, Beeflicker, Ernie, Ted, Melon Picker, Soapy, Ablesemen, Judgemental, Smash, Miss Mash, Satnav, Slip-on-Me, Rise'n'Shine, Mateus Rose, Twiggy, U-Bend and returnee Total Recoil

Circle

On the drive over the outside temperature dropped to 4 degrees. Brrrrrr. It was going to be a cold one. In the absence of Shitfaced, U-Bend assumed the role of GM. Are there any announcements?

There was a reminder from Piltdown about this weekend's TVH3 Christmas party at Teignmouth Rugby Club. "Meet at Weterspoons, Teignmouth from 6pm onwards....in fancy dress".

Man-Pig had a brief announcement regarding Broken Man. The Pig had attended South Hams Hash pre-Christmas Bash at Grenville House, Brixham, but only to do the Saturday afternoon run. He was pleased to report that Broken Man was there and was helping out at the refreshment stops. Broken Man told the Pig how much he'd enjoyed his road trip down to Spain during the summer. Additionally, how he was so much looking forward to having his grandchildren come down for Christmas. Basically, as good as could be expected, and we all wish Broken Man and family a lovely Christmas.

Finally, the Hare imparted some misinformation/fake news.

"The Walkers' trail is about 2.5 miles; the Shorts' about 4 and the Longs' about 5 to 5.5. There are two Long/Short splits."

Trail

The whole pack started by running down Fore Street and across Albert Bridge. The Walkers were directed down and onto the banks of the Dart where they would follow the riverside footpath upstream to Weirfields. The Longs and the Shorts carried straight on and to an arrow that took them right and onto Pathfields. Overtaking Soapy and Judgemental before another arrow, had us bear right and along Steamer Quay Road; "The marshes" I thought.

Another arrow and another bear right across Steamer Quay car park and onto the footpath next to the river - heading downstream. I pass Pisswell but there is torchlight ahead as another arrow has us divert inland and across a smaller car park and back onto a tarmac footpath. Up until this point the marks were excellent but now there were none. Was I wrong to commit to the marshes? Yes.

Backtracking, Total Recoil was the first to find marks near the bottom of Sparkhays Drive. We commenced the steep zigzag climb up the newish (10 years old) footpath that lead us up to Home Reach Avenue. Looking behind us, we could see the parade of torches zigzagging and following us up from the Dart. At the junction of Home Reach Avenue and Weston Lane, Man-Pig, Total Recoil and Judgemental arrived at the first Long/Short split. We all went Long.

For the Shorts, it was a left turn and a descent down Weston Lane and Seymour Place and then back onto Bridgetown Road near the Albert Inn.

Unsurprisingly, Beefy and Beeflcker were ahead of us and Pocket Rocker wasn't far behind us. The trail now climbed past Weston House and up to the highest part of Bridgetown where a check had been kicked out along Blackpost Lane. It was getting decidedly windy and a tad chilly up here. Fortunately, we soon came to another check kicked out towards Dukes Road.

At the first junction, the trail took us down Courtfields but Beefy and Beeflicker had to be called back as they had embarked on an excursion to the lower reaches of Dukes Road. This allowed Pocket Rocket to catch up.

We were in a housing estate now and out of the wind. Courtfield is a cul-de-sac...well it is for cars but not for Hashers.

Marks now had us on a footpath that was a mixture of flat and steps that followed a brook all the way down to Weston Lane where we rejoined the Shorts' trail.

We now headed up to the bottom of Bridgetown Hill and followed marks around and over Brutus Bridge where we rejoined the Walkers' trail on the banks of the Dart.

Beefy, Beeflicker, Judgmental, Total Recoil and Pocket Rocket had stolen a lead but were still within earshot as we left the banks of the Dart and headed up Weirfields next to the Kevics playing fields. Pocket Rocket had slowed down and I eventually catch up with Total Recoil and Judgmental as we cross the A385 and start heading up the Western Bypass.

About 100 yards distant, we see a loiterer in a hi-vi jacket. Could it be a Hasher? Yes. It is wet-Johnny who is now the one-man-sweetie-stop. It is also the second Long/Short split. A couple of fizzy-chewy things later we are presented with a choice.

"Shorts straight across and onto Malt Mill and Castle Street. Alternatively, Longs is On up the hill", all said with a glint in his eye.

I am getting thirsty and the Short is tempting but Wet-Johnny is bound to have us turn left at Cistern Street or, possibly, carry on up to Kingsbridge Hill before turning left. Total Recoil is left to run up the Western Bypass whilst Man-Pig and Judgemental adopt a slothful walk. We see Total Recoil's torchlit shadow pass Cistern Street. Bugger. It's left at Kingsbridge Hill. Total Recoil is far distant now but we are sure that he's pushed on past Kingsbridge Hill turning. Double bugger. He's not going up to the toll house....is he?

Oh yes he is.

Bugger, Bugger. Bugger. It's going to be Fishchowter's Lane. Wait till I get my hands on Wet-Johnny.

And so it transpires that Judgemental and I catch up with Total Recoil on Fishchowter's Lane which, by day, is a beautiful track. We follow the track back down and onto Maudlin Road, Leechwell Street and cross The Lamb for the final descent down High street and back to the pub.

Total Recoil elects not to come to the pub as he has two jacket potatoes in the oven. Judgmental starts doing some warming-down exercises outside the pub as he now has to wait for Pocket Rocket. I go back to the car park where the first person that I see is Pocket Rocket.

"Judgmental is waiting for you outside the pub".

"Oh. I am waiting for Judgmental by his car"....and so you are. I wonder who is waiting on whom here.

Down-Downs

Back in the pub most Hashers have finished their Hash scoff so it is not long before we commence the Down-Downs. Man-Pig is the only RA present. We will all be glad when Forrest finishes his pantomime rehearsals for a change of RA.

Anyway, Rob the landlord has come up trumps again and put on a Hash menu in addition to providing the Down-Downs so we start by giving a big "Thankyou to the pub".

Are there any awards? The Pig is looking directly at U-Bend.

"Hashshit shirt?"

"Oh. It may be in the van".

Too late to get it so the only award present is the Jester's Hat. By rights it should be in Wetfart's hands but he couldn't make it so the Pig must find a worthy recipient - guilty or not.

The Pig describes the mix up in meeting points between Pocket Rocket and Judgmental. Pocket Rocket is at Judgmental's car but with no car keys. Judgemental has the keys but he has no passenger present with him outside the pub....as agreed. Accordingly, Pocket Rocket gets the Hat and a round of, "Hold it in you hand Mrs Murphy".

No awards left so onto stories; possibly true but often probably not.

Melonpicker has a story about a would be alcoholic but who is, in fact, a coke addict. He feeds his habit by stealing. Most recently under the guise of pretending to eat. Whilst sitting nicely he chomps through his chips and chilli. He looks straight ahead, continues munching, and deftly moves his right had towards a glass. His skill is in not switching his gaze. He locks his claw around the glass and brings it upto his lips. "Ah. That rush of coke. Coke? I bought a beer!" Meanwhile, Melonpicker is scouring the table looking for where he'd left his pint of coke, 50% of which now resides in Judgemental's tummy!

A Down-Down for Judgemental accompanied by, "Here's to the coke addict...."

Pocket Rocket has a story. It is about the folly associated with failing to pay attention to roadsigns. The Longs are running down a steepish hill. There are warning signs for traffic calming measures in the form of road humps. The next thing is a not unreasonable and impromptu attempt at the triple jump by the FRB. He hops, slips and jumps his way down the road after snagging a road hump. Our Olympian triple jump finalist? Man-Pig. Beefy comes up with a song whilst the Pig gargles his half pint into oblivion.

The last half. I didn't clearly catch what Beeflicker was saying but I think the long and the short of it went something like this. Pisswell and Beeflicker have got off trail. Beeflicker consults the mapping app on his phone to find out where they are. This is only partially successful. They know where they are but they don't know where they should be. Pisswell says:

"It's a shame we don't have a phone. We could phone the Hare and ask where we should be". And so you could. A note for "Clouseau", the observant one.

A final reminder to everyone about this weekend's TVH3 Christmas Party and it's time to wend our way home.

Next week

Our hare(s) for next week's Hash are definitely U-Bend, hopefully assisted by Poacher. The venue will  be The Smugglers (Teignmouth - Dawlish road).

On-On to next week. MP

ON ON TO THE KING BILLY!

 

Run #2052 Monday 2nd December Circle up 7:15 pm from King William IV 45 Fore St, Totnes TQ9 5HN with hare Wet Johnny.

Parking at Victoria car park (free from 6 pm) or nearby on the Plains.

'TIMBER!'

TVH3 The Words for 25th November 2024

The Lord Nelson

Run No. 2051

HARE: Man-Pig

 

Who wuz there: Man-Pig, Archangel, Shitfaced, Hotlips, Zoot, Only Here for the Beer, Beefy, Strap-On, Strap-Dancer, Pisswell, Pocket Rocket, Piltdown Man, Georgy Porgy, Smellie, Beeflicker, Ernie, Ted, Wetfart, Melon Picker, Soapy, Wet-Johnny, Judgemental, Red Rum, Smash, Miss Mash, Satnav, Threesum, Base Camp, Rise'n'Shine, Mateus Rose,, Triplejump, Wide Receiver, Bobbiball, and, for a second week in a row - Teapot plus the return of Bluebird!

 

Circle

Crikey! What a difference a week makes? I think I counted 26 or 27 in the Circle with more to arrive for a beer after the run. I think it was the prospect of chilli and crusty bread at £5/head that must have been the attraction.

 

Shitfaced was back from wherever he's been and welcomed the rather large pack to The Lord Nelson. The only announcements were:

 

1. Threesum would be in the pub afterwards with both raffle tickets and Christmas party tickets and

2. Wet-Johnny was in attendance to advise that next week's trail is from the King Bill, Totnes

So, with that, it was over to the stand-in Hare.

 

The Pig imparted that there were the usual three trails; Walkers', Shorts' and Longs' trails. I don't think that there was any mention of distances but, for the Longs, there was a warning! Two large trees have blown down on a narrow footpath in woodland. They have completely blocked the path but, with a bit of patience, you can get through (he hoped!).

 

Trail

The whole pack started off up Fluder Hill and then an arrow had them turn left and down Daccombe Mill Lane with the Walkers/Long & Shorts split at its end.

 

For the Walkers it was a fairly simple, all road, loop. They would head up Willowpark Lane and turn right at Kingskerswell Cross for the drop back into Kingskerswell via Fluder Hill.

 

The Longs and the Shorts carried straight on along the footpath that takes them up to the Bothy...and a check. Well, most carried straight on. Judgemental decided to do a bit of broken dam hopping en route. At the end of the footpath there is a check. I think Beefy checked towards Coffinswell but there was soon a call from the East. "On-On" towards the tiny hamlet of Daccombe.

 

At Daccombe we arrived at the solitary Long/Short split. The Shorts pushed on along Orestone Lane but only for Wide receiver to find a back-check. This was after Pocket Rocket had checked up the very steep Daccombe Hill to report that there were, allegedly, no marks. The FRB'ing Shorts ran back to the bottom of Daccombe Hill....marks after all! 

 

A short but painfully steep crawl up the 1 -in-4 hill brought the Shorts up to an arrow near its junction with the top of Fluder Hill. 

 

The Shorts now followed a trail that swapped from one side of the road to the other, predominantly staying in the veneer of woodland that straddles the upper reaches of Fluder Hill. Eventually they rejoined the Walkers "On-Home" trail at Kingskerswell Cross.

 

For the longs there was a sense of deja vu. For the three of them that had found last week's Long they were, once again, ascending Footland Lane. This week the Longs extended to seven hard, or should that be foolish, souls? This comprised Beefy, Beeflicker, Miss'ing (without her torch for the second week on the trot), Pisswell, Ernie, Ted, with The Pig sweeping.

 

Another back-check and we found ourselves ascending the same narrow, but steep, track up towards Barton Hill Road. Would we encounter fairy lights and another equine adventure like last week? No. Arrows lead us across Barton Hill Road and safely onto the verge down to Newton Hill. However, Ernie and Ted had to be called back for overrunning an arrow and merrily heading down Barton Hill Road.

 

All back on trail, the Longs embarked on a half mile needless loop down Newton Hill and then back up Barton Hill to its junction with Claddon Lane where the Pig was waiting. 

 

The trail now went down Claddon Lane and then right, through a kissing gate (no tongues now!) and into a large open field criss-crossed by tracks. Dots of floor were soon spotted and we eventually arrived at a check at the end of a track with a South West Water sign attached to its locked gate. Beefy had found two crosses but no third blobs of flour. Beeflicker was nowhere in sight so he was either well ahead of us or he was off trail. 

 

The Pig directed the pack up the SWW access track up to the Barton Hill reservoir and a view point. A couple of snaps later we continued past the reservoir and telemetry mast and along to an old iron kissing gate. There was no check but Ernie and Ted continued straight on while Pisswell looked at a blob of flour at the edge of a wooden kissing gate. Ernie and Ted were called back and we all commenced a descent into woodland. All was well until we ground to a halt.

"Tree!"

A big fecker too. And it had fallen along the line of the footpath blocking movement for at least 20 meters. We crunched and cracked our way through and over brittle branches from the dead tree. We crossed from one side of the trunk to the other and found ourselves back on the footpath......for another 20 metres. Another fallen tree and, just like the previous one, it had fallen along the length of the footpath. We repeated the clambering/climbing procedures rehearsed only a moment earlier and successfully traversed lignin obstacle number two. The footpath lay clearly before us now. Down some woodland steps and along the shiplap fencing to someone's garden before exiting onto Padacre Road.

There was no check but flour was soon spied as we ran down Padacre Road and then right and up Swedwell Road. No chance of any marks being left here from last week's Hash as we ran up to its summit and junction with Roccombe Close. The Pig adds a late, but helpful, arrow. The trail now takes us to the end of Roccombe Close where there is an almost unseen footpath that takes us back onto Barton Hill Road. An arrow has us cross onto the top of Fluder Hill where we rejoin the Shorts' trail. It is all downhill from here.

 

We arrive back at the On-Down at 9.02 - some 6.33 miles after we started. Just in time for a beer and some chilli.

 

Down-Downs

The temperature had dropped a little during the run so were glad to be back in a traditional pub with a nice warm open fire. We took over the lounge bar whilst four or five locals inhabited the public bar. Most Hashers were tucking into their chilli when we arrived. It all looked rather snug and convivial. This is one of Teapot's favourite On-Downs and it was great to have him back two weeks in a row. And, behold, another stranger or is it a returnee? The flightless one has come out of hibernation and is in conversation with another "two shows in two weeks" - Bobbiball. 

 

This congregation of time served Teign Valley Hashers now comprised Teapot, Wetfart, Bluebird, Bobbiball and Man-Pig. We were having a good old chinwag until Bobbiball spoilt things by stating the bloody obvious...."we must have a combined age of nearly 400!". Yes Bobbi. You are correct but this is absolutely not called for.

 

We then swiftly move onto the Down-Downs and commence by thanking the pub for:

- opening especially for us

- for putting on the scoff

- and for the Down Downs

Are there any awards from previous weeks?

Yes, but only one.

 

Base Camp has the Horned Hat. Base Camp has done the Walkers' trail. He lives 600 yards away but Threesum is working so she will be joining us later. Although it is only 600 yards, Threesum phones the pub and asks Base Camp to come and pick her up. This he duly does. He drops Threesum off at the pub and then looks for a parking space. There are none. By the time he finds a space he is parked closer to home that the pub. Accordingly, a lazy Threesum gets the first Down-Down accompanied by, "She's the meanest......"

 

Next we have a story from Wide Receiver. It is about a Hasher who knows that Daccombe Hill is very steep. This Hasher hopes that the trail continues along the comparatively flat Orestone Lane. Hence he calls, "No marks" which commits Wide Receiver to continuing along Orestone Lane....only to find a back-check. The second Down-Down goes to Pocket Rocket accompanied by, "The Grand Old Duke of York.....".

 

Shitfaced has the next story. Miss'ing is so named because she is always missing from the On-Down as she always elects to go home straight after the run. For some reason this week she is curious enough to, at least, stick her nose into the Snug.

"Oh. It's quite warm in here".

So in she comes. However, she is as good as her name as this is the second time in as many weeks that she has forgotten her torch. This is the first time in three years, that she is NOT missing from the On-Down after the trail. A thoroughly deserved Down-Down. "Hold it in your hand Mrs Murphy".......

There are two halves left so the Hare is called upon to dispatch one.

 

Pisswell has a story from last week which she thinks will earn Beefy the last half of ale. Somehow, in the process of giving Pocket Rocket a lift last week they'd left one of their cars in Bovey Tracey.......and forgotten all about it. They get up on Tuesday morning:

"Where's the car Beefy?"

"Outside"

"No.Look for yourself"

"Oops!"

Hence the last half goes to Beefy for forgetting where he parked the car. "A note for the horse rustler" (a reference to our wanderings around an equine estate late at night last week).

 

Next week

Next week's Hash is from the King William IV, Totnes. Our Hare is Wet-Johnny.

On-On to next week. MP

CHRISTMAS DRAW 2024

Our Christmas Draw is on Monday 23rd December from the Kings Arms at Kingsteignton with Zoot and Hotlips.

BACK TO THE NELLIE THIS MONDAY

 

Run #2051 Monday 25th November Circle up 7:15 pm from The Lord Nelson, Fore St, Kingskerswell, Devon TQ12 5JB with that stalwart of stalwarts, Man-Pig.

PLEASE NOTE that this is a diary change. The pub is opening especially for us and putting on a chilli with crusty bread at £5/head.

The Three Virgins and an Equine Adventure

TVH3 The Words for 19th November 2024

The Prince of Orange

Run No. 2050

HARES: Smash, Miss Mash & Satnav

 

Who wuz there: Smash, Miss Mash, Satnav, Man-Pig, Archangel, Beefy, Pisswell, Coldtits, Pocket Rocket, Piltdown Man, Georgy Porgy, Ernie, Wetfart, Psycho, Wet-Johnny, Red Rum, Miss'Ing and special guest of honour - Teapot!

 

Circle

In the absence of Shitaced, Piltdown Man called "Hash Hush" for the Circle. Only one half of the Topiary Twins was present - Psycho. But she was making enough noise for both of them so Piltdown handed over RA'ing duties to her for failing to adhere to the "Hash Hush". Despite being put on the spot, she made a pretty good job of it, especially as there was only one notice.

 

The solitary notice came from Man-Pig and relates to a change of Hash for next week. Unfortunately, Poacher can no longer do next Monday's Hash. Hence the replacement Hare will be Man-Pig and the On-Down will be the Lord Nelson in Kingskerswell. Details to be confirmed on the TVH3 Facebook page.

 

So over the the Hares, all three of which have arrived by bicycle. Would we be on cycle paths for the entire trail? We would soon find out.

 

Smash explained that there was a Long, Short and a Walkers' trail. However, a combination of wind, rain and sabotage had obliterated a number of marks and the first Long/Short split was:

"Up the road and on the left".

 

Trail

So off we trotted, crossing Barton Hill Road to the chip shop and then heading uphill. Sure enough, 200 yards later we come to the L/S split. The Shorts were to carry on up Barton Hill Road whilst the Longs descended on a track that I never knew existed. This was virgin territory for me and I must have run past this track dozens of times, always assuming that it was a private track. The track is aptly named, Bottom Park Lane. It is long and steep, descending onto Kingsley Avenue.

 

The Shorts (Miss'Ing and Red Rum) meanwhile carried on up Barton Hill Road to the triangle junction between Barton Hill Road and Kingskerswell Road. Here I am assuming that they arrived at the Walkers'/Shorts' split; the Shorts commencing the fantastically steep descent down Daccombe Hill whilst my guess is that the Walkers (Piltdown Man, Georgy Porgy, Wetfart and Pocket Rocket - I'm not sure which trail Arkangel was on!!!) would have carried on up Barton Hill Road before veering right and along Great Hill Road. The next time that we saw the Walkers was back at the bar of the Prince of Orange.

 

Back on the Longs (Psycho, Beefy, Wet Johnny, Man-Pig, Ernie & Pisswell) Psycho picked up the trail heading south down Kingsley Avenue and then climbing up Leeward Lane. I hadn't seen a mark since the L/S split and simply followed the FRB's hoping/assuming that they were on trail.

 

Near the top of Leeward Lane, we ground to a halt and started back checking - including a footpath that wound its way down and onto Windward Road. Below me I could hear Ernie. "On On. There's a check here". The FRB's were a bit spread out but all converged on Ernie and Pisswell who were already on Windward Road. Amazing. Ernie had found another bit of "dust". We were now arcing around and onto Lindisfarne Way. However, before we got there Pisswell spied another mark and we now entered a large play park with swings and seesaws etc. At the other end of the play park, we came out at the bottom of Cassiobury Way where Smash was waiting for us on her bike.

 

We were encouraged to continue along Browns Bridge Road. Opposite Nightingale Close, there is a public footpath that takes one up to Barton Hall. One of the FRB's must have spied a mark or two as the FRB's ascended up and past Barton Hall and onto Kingskerswell Road where we found a large and intact flour arrow, "Hoorah". In front of me were Psycho, Beefy and Wet Johnny. Behind me, and not to be seen again till the pub, were Ernie and Pisswell.

 

Beefy assumes that he is on trail and takes us down Orestone Lane but marks were decidedly absent. When we came to the junction with Daccombe Hill, Wet Johnny checked uphill but came back empty handed. Psycho checked out a farm track and also came back with little in the way of guidance. Hence, we carried on into Daccombe. Hallejula! At the bottom of Footland Lane was another arrow pointing uphill. Half way along Footland Lane we saw torchlight. It was the almost solitary Shorts - just Miss'Ing and Red Rum.

 

We just happened to be at the bottom of a track that leads up to Ridge Road which is a fast and dangerous road for joggers as there is no footpath and not much in the way of verges. However, there is a verge at the top of this track that would allow a relatively safe crossing at Roccombe Cross and onto either Newton Hill or Honey Lane which are on the other side of Ridge Road. Despite the absence of marks, we agreed to the Pig's suggestion and climbed the track. Then, just before Ridge Road, an apparition - fairy lights. They weren't here when I ran up here on Sunday the Pig thought. I then looked at my feet and I was standing on an arrow pointing through an open gate. Ahead of us another open gate and another set of fairy lights. We were back on trail but on private ground.

 

We followed the fairy lights along a track, diagonally across a field and then along a broad track. After 300 yards we arrived at an illuminated stabling block. It was the drink stop and what a fantastic drink stop it was. We were surrounded by 4 stabled horses and a collapsible picnic table adorned with Pimms, Martini, orange juice, water and an array of savoury nibbles and sweets. It was all really rather relaxing being surrounded by the horses. The only thing missing was the rest of the pack! Regrettably, they never made it so they missed a great drink stop.

 

Poor Smash had various phone calls coming in and going out about Hashers lost on trail....or off trail. For the Longs, the most expedient way back would be to deviate from the planned trail as the marks would Shirley be washed away by now. The Pig said that he knew exactly where we were and that he would lead the pack back to the pub.

 

We backtracked over the private land from whence we came only be be barked at. Not by a dog but by the land owner.

"What are you doing. Why are all these gates open?"

We explained that we were merely following the trail of fairy lights. The land owner could see that we didn't really fit the description of your traditional horse thief and waved us on our way.

 

Back on the public footpath, we crossed Ridge Road and then ran on the verge down to Honey Lane. We then proceeded down Honey Lane and started finding blobs of flour to our right. We were back on trail.....sort of. At the junction of Honey Lane with Great Hill Road we came across an arrow and a "W" but it was pointing towards us. It looked as though we were now running the Walkers' trail but in reverse. The Pig assured us that he knew where he was going and took the pack onto a small footpath that links Great Hill Road with Roccombe Close.

 

"Aloha". Another arrow, but this time pointing down Swedwell Road. We were back on trail and the marks seemed relatively intact. The trail now took us down Swedwell Road and then right and up Jacks Lane and onto Barton Hill Road opposite the first L/S split. In next to no time we were back at the On-Down.

 

Down-Downs

I don't know. Was it the weather, the location or a new "On-Down" that had reduced this week's numbers to less than half of previous hashes? It made no difference. Those that did turn up thoroughly enjoyed the trail. In fact, the absence of marks (through no fault of the Hares) made it all the more interesting. Plenty of virgin territory to boot which is a rare thing in this neck of the woods, so well done Hares. Particularly, young Miss Mash on her virgin lay.

 

A postmortem of the "missing marks" revealed that most of the marks that were on road were not missing at all, especially around the Daccombe area. The strong winds and relatively light rain had combined for an awful lot of leaf fall throughout the afternoon and early evening. These were mainly hazel leaves and they had simply covered a lot of the marks. It also highlighted the fact that different species of deciduous trees lose their leaves at different times throughout the autumn. The chestnut trees in my neighbour's garden have already dropped all of their leaves, the sycamores and hazels still retain about half their leaves and the ash tree hedge will lose its leaves very slowly throughout the autumn/winter period. I seem to spend the entire winter sweeping these up well after every other species of tree has lost all of their leaves.

 

On entering the pub an unexpected but wonderful surprise.; Teapot was sat at the bar with Wetfart. Teapot was smiling away and it was great to have him back. A shame that Psycho had to rush off as Teapot would have liked to have had a catch up with his occupational health specialist.

 

We started by thanking the pub for having us and making us welcome. So welcome, in fact, that a couple of hashers had popped over the road for fish 'n' chips and brought them into the pub.

 

Smash hadn't prearranged Down-Downs with the pub and we thought it a bit rude to ask a virgin "On-Down" for free beer on our first visit. That would have been a little presumptuous. So, Smash kindly arranged for three halves of Doombar and two glasses of water. Now, whom to award said victuals?

There is only one award present. It is the Jester's Hat which Pisswell has from last week. This she awards to Satnav for a temper tantrum in throwing her bike to the ground just before the Circle (I think you'll find that it blew over in the wind....twice, along with Small & Miss Mash's bikes). A note for the "Bike Smasher" who is not driving and elects to have a beer for a change.

 

No more awards so are there any stories? Silence.

Hence the three Hares, or is it the three virgins, are called up for their Down-Downs. Three virgins? Yes indeedy:

1. Virgin territory

2. Virgin On-Down

3. Virgin lay by Miss Mash

The RA did ask Smash and Satnav if it was also their virgin lays? No. Satnav assures us that she last laid a TVH trail 14 years ago! Crikey, that's worse than Smellie!

 

The remaining two waters and a beer are despatched by the trio of Hares to a chorus of "Here's to the virgins".

 

The last beer. There must be a story. And so there is. A hasher is mentioned as being afraid of the dark - the recipient is Ernie. However, the story needs a little more elaboration. Ernie actually told Pisswell that he was scared of being in the dark with her!!

 

Well, we all got back safely on what turned out to be a very interesting trail. I am sure that hashers can smell free booze a mile off....marks or no marks. I think the Walkers will simply need to refine their olfactory glands when seeking out the drink stop....no need for marks at all!

 

Next week

A change of venue for next week's Hash. This will now be from the Lord Nelson in Kingskerswell. Our Hare for the evening will be Man-Pig.

On-On to next week. MP