Run #2049 Monday 11th November 7:15 pm Circle up from the Highweek Inn, Highweek, Newton Abbot TQ12 1QA with Poacher and Able Semen. Land Ho! hash are also there but apparently there are separate trails.
Saturday 9 November 2024
"Forrest's Famous Fireworks & Roadkill Stew Hash"
TVH3 The Words for 4th November 2024
Tinkley Bottom
Run No. 2048
HARES: Forrest-Stump & Man-Pig
Who
wuz there: Forrest-Stump, Man-Pig, Shitfaced, Beeflicker, Beefy,
Pisswell, Piltdown Man, Georgy Porgy, Poacher, Ernie, Ted, Coldtits,
Satnav, Ablesemen, Smash, Miss Mash, Psycho, Warmfront, Soapy,
Melonpicker, Palmolive, Big End, Well Hopped, Ned, Roger-the-Dodger,
Arkangel, Wet-Johnny, Wide Receiver, Threesum, Base Camp, Woodlend's
friend (sorry - forgot your name), Only Here for the Beer,
Judge-Mental, Dog End and returnees Flying Pig, Trucker and Pocket
Rocket
Circle
"Welcome to the the Teign Valley Strip - a smoke free zone" (for the time being).
Shitfaced
continued the welcome by welcoming back Pisswell who had just
returned from a diplomatic mission to the White-House. Her goal? To
secure permission to use the TVH3 stockpile of fireworks outside the
borders of the Teign Valley. Joe Biden thanked Pisswell Putin for
visiting and her reassurance that TVH3 had a special place for Kamala
in the Teign Valley. In fact so good that she'd brought Kamala back
with her!
Threesum
notified the Hash that this year's Christmas Party would be held at
Teignmouth Rugby Club on Saturday 7th December. The cost of £15/head
would be subsidised by the Hash. Accordingly, those who pay an annual
membership get the reduced price at £5/head and those who pay weekly
subs would pay £10/head.
Piltdown
Man promoted the upcoming TVH3 beer and curry night. This will take
place in Newton Abbot on Friday 22 November and take in the Cider Bar,
Weatherspoons and probably end up in the Eastern Eye.
Ablesemen
reminded us that next week's Hash is from the Higweek Inn, Newton
Abbot. Importantly, if you want food (baked potato & chilli con
carne or ham, egg & chips - both at £8/head) she will need to know
by Wednesday 6th November. Kindly advise your orders via the FB page.
Eventually it is over to the Hares.
Forrest
has laid the Walkers' trail which is exactly 1 mile as we need to get
everyone back quickly for the roadkill stew and fireworks.
Man-Pig
has laid the Shorts' and the Long's trails which are "not long". The
only thing to be aware of are back-checks, "Go back to the last mark
and pick up the trail from there. The last part of the trail will be
coming back on the outward trail. Do not go round again!"
Trail
Following
the establishment of independent parliaments in both Wales and
Scotland, the Teign Valley Strip is fighting for devolulion from the
tyrannical machinations emanating from London as a result of last week's
budget.
To
this end, the valley has created the TVH3 LDV. Our very Home Guard
and tonight was to be our first training run in preparation for the
BFT. Thirty four volunteers assembled to learn the arts of night time
vision, orienteering and observation with a little bit of fitness
thrown in for good measure.
But,
before embarking on the nighttime operation, a quick inspection of
the volunteers was required. This was taken by the QM, Sergeant
Piltdown-Fraser. He reported back that he could not detect any North
Koreans amongst the volunteers and that all of Corporal Forrest-Jones
cats and dogs had been accounted for. Excellent.
The
route march was fairly straight forward. The Walkers, under the
command of Corporal Forrest-Jones would follow the river to the first
bridge. Then, about-turn, and return via the woods. A simple case of
following the dots.
Those
who had already passed their basic assessment would be on a slightly
longer and hillier route. They would be under the command of Captain
Pig-Waring. Initially, the route ascended Farley Hill, avoiding any
booby traps laid by the Pooks. At the Long/Short split, the Shorts
would descend down past Ruggedon Farm and take the footpath that runs
parallel with the goyle down, and then up, to El Dorado (Trusham). A
couple of checks were laid to challenge their sense of direction but,
all being well, they should be back well within the hour.
The
Longs continued along Farley Hill. Their challenge was to recall what
a back-check was and what to do when they reached it. Nearly all
found the back-check a mere 300 yards past the Long/Short split. An
about turn and back to the last mark which, unsurprisingly, was the
Long/Short split. All the Longs arrived back at the L/S split before
the Shorts and continued their FRB-ing all the way back to Platoon HQ
at Tinkley Bottom.
Back
at the L/S split ,one of the group had used their initiative to
assist the back markers by placing three logs strategically across the
road so as to form an arrow. Not only did the improvisation mark the
direction of the trail, it also blocked the road from any Pooks
pursuing by quad bike. Good work. This had all the hallmarks of the
Topiary twins at work. They will be mentioned in dispatches....and in
the Circle.
Down-Downs
Back
at HQ the first order of service was to get some scran down you. The
recruits had brought their plates, KSF and, most importantly, money. In
fact, Forrest's road kill stew was so popular that Forrest didn't get
to have any himself....it was that good.
Captain
Main-Pig assumed his RA'ing role. The first thing we did was to thank
Corporal Forrest-Jones for the venue; then for the roadkill stew, the
beer and, best of all, for the enormous bonfire. It must have taken
ages to build.
Captain Man-Waring then asked if anyone had an award from last week.
"What?
No-one?" The only award present was the one sat on the good Captain's
head. It was the Jester's Hat and it wasn't even his own award. It
was Wetfart's from last week. An initial candidate was Wide-Receiver.
Wide Receiver didn't want to get the tires wet on his vintage MGB
Roadster so he parked on the tarmac outside Corporal Stump's
residence.
However,
Wide-Receiver was missing. Apparently he'd been RTU'd immediately
after the trail......for pretending it was a race. Serves him right.
The Topiary Twins were then invited into the Circle.
"Which one of you was responsible for the road block?"
"Neither", respond the twins. "It was Sapper Poacher".
"Where's Sapper Poacher?".
"Over by the bonfire sir. Preparing the ordnance".
"Get him here PDQ".
Now,
owing to the nature of the evening's activities, we have been loaned
Sapper Poacher from 9 SQN due to his expertise in pyrotechnics.
Sapper
Poacher arrives whinging about primed detonators in proximity to a
large fire.....nothing to worry about there I'm sure. There is some
scurrying around behind the Field Kitchen in search of a pint mug. We
have three very large half pint measures of beer pre-poured but Sapper
Poacher only drinks cider. We have the cider but no receptacle. It is
soon sorted and the cider disappears to the accompaniment of "Hold it
in your hand Mrs Murphy".
Eventually,
a story is squeezed out of the pack. It involves Warmfront....again. I
think she was a faller. Warmfront is driving and asks to nominate.
Medic Godfrey-Psycho is nominated and is already a bit doddery on her
feet. Another pint will finish her off. Corporal Stump-Jones saves the
day by offering her a bed to lay.....erm....her head and the generous
half pint disappears.
Private Shit-Sponge has a story.
"We
have a retired Hasher in our midst from just across the water. In
fact, a mere stone's throw away. Despite the distance, 40 yards as the
crow flies, he has got a taxi here".
In
fairness, the River Teign does lie as a natural protective border
along one edge of our HQ. Nonetheless, if he'd been Jesus, he could
have walked. So it is a note for, "Here's to Jesus he's so blue....."
etc.
A backdated (in the mists of time) DD is awarded to Wet Johnny. His misdemeanour, being found naked at the side of the road.
When
this story eventually unfolded, this event did actually take place.
But not in this country and not this year. It was many years ago in
Chile. Apparently, WJ had got blind drunk and was throwing up on the
side of a road. Despite being blind drunk he had the presence of mind
to make sure that he didn't mess himself if he followed through at both
ends. His solution was to undress and carry on throwing up at the side
of the road......delightful!
The
final half pint has to go to our host, Corporal Forrest-Jones-Stump
for, well, everything. Another fantastic firework Hash. Talking of
which it is now time for Sapper Poacher to do his stuff.
The
fireworks commence (no maroons this year). We have boxes where you
light one corner and then wait for the pyrotechnics to go off in
sequence. We have flares, roman candles, giant sparklers but I don't
see any bangers, jumping jacks or Catherine wheels....I think they've
been banned. The Catherine wheels always used to fall off their nails
and then appeared to deliberately chase children around the garden.
Then the finale - the rockets. Oh, the rockets. Big ones. Small ones.
Whistlers, wailers and starbursts and then there were the Katoushkas!
Unbeknown
to the TVH3 LDV, the valley's goal for independence was now a major
concern for the new Labour Government. Could this be contagious, an
explosion of devolution across the UK? At that very moment, a USAF AWACS
was flying high above our heads. Their incredibly sophisticated
thermal imaging had detected Poacer's missile launch site.
Unfortunately, the AWACS was running some new Beta software. This
identified the Standard Firework Whizzer's heat trail as the exhaust
signature of a Katouska rocket. Additionally, its trajectory was
towards Tel Aviv. Mossad intercepted and deciphered comms from the
AWACS. Four F-15E's were scrambled from Hatzerim airbase to make a
targeted precision strike on the Teign Valley; a round trip of 6,440
miles. Recently deployed KC-46A Pegasus were already in the air and
provided the two refuellings required by each F-15E.
What a spectacular firework display.
When asked about the attack, Private Shit-Sponge (a retired opium farmer from the Teign Valley) said:
"We weren't expecting that! As long as the IDF don't hit any pubs, bars or licensed cafe's they can come again next year."
Another
eye witness, Medic Psycho, said that she was so traumatised by the
amount of beer she'd drunk that she missed the whole thing!
In the aftermath of the attack a source, who has asked not to be named, said:
"Death
will come on swift win,gs to those who have defiled the Valley. Once
we secure authorisation from the FO (Lieutenant Scroogesum) to expend
Hash funds, we will be beetling down to Lidl for another box of
fireworks". Although informed sources understand that authority to
expend Hash Cash will only be granted after 5th November when the FO
anticipates that they'll be on offer at half price.
Sir Kier Starmer addressed the House on Tuesday morning. He described the Teign Valley as a place of utter lawlessness.
"It
is bandit country", he said. The prime minister went on to reiterate
that Israel has the right to defend itself against the acts of
November 4th.
A
spokesman for the TVH3 LDV confirmed that one bonfire had been
completely destroyed in the attack and that there had been a single
casualty; one Guido Fawkes, a 454 year old catholic man from
Westminster, London. Apparently he had been hiding on the top of the
bonfire at the time of the attack.
Also
missing was Private Coldtits who was last seen on Monday night, off
trail, and heading in the direction of Chudleigh. In light of the
attack, TVH3 LDV have advised that they will, in future, read the
instructions on the side of the box before leaving it next to the
bonfire!
Next week
Next week's Hash is from the Highweek Inn, Newton Abbot. Ablesemen is Hare. I think that this is a joint Hash with Haldon.
On-On to next week. MP
Friday 1 November 2024
BONFIRE NIGHT IN TINKLEY BOTTOM
Run #2048 Monday 4th November 7:15 pm Circle up from Forrest's abode at Tinkley Bottom down in deepest Teign Valley for the Bonfire night extravaganza.Entertainment
, food and ale aplenty, provided by thine host Forrest with the trail
niceties left to the long-suffering Man-Pig.
"Hallow'een Fancy Dress Run"
TVH3 The Words for 28th October 2024
The Brunswick Arms
Run No. 2047
HARES: Soapy, Melonpicker & Palmolive
Who
wuz there: Soapy, Melonpicker, Palmolive, Shitfaced, Man-Pig,
Beeflicker, Piltdown Man, Georgy Porgy, Pork Torpedo, Horny, Wetfart,
U-Bend, Strap-On, Ernie, Corey, Slip-on-Me, Coldtits, Satnav,
Ablesemen, Smash, Psycho, Warmfront, Polyfella, Red Rum, Roger the
Dodger, Ned & Nice Tackle visiting from South Hams H3
Circle
I
was going to name this run Four Weddings and a .....er no, "Two Run
Badges and A Naming". However, this might have been a distraction from
the fantastic Halloween costumes and make-up adorned by almost all
present. It was unseasonably balmy and this had an impact on some
Hashers' body temperature as the run progressed. In fact, some were
visibly misting up!
We
had the usual smattering of witches and ghouls, Mr Hydes, skeletons,
mad axe murderers (American Psycho apparently), polytunnels, ladies of
the night and Slash from Guns & Roses. Some of the faceprint was
remarkable. I am amazed that the make-up doesn't start running as one
builds up a sweat but the faceprint looked as good in the pub as it had
done in the Circle. Well done.
There
were a few announcements. First was about the run in a fortnight's
time. This would be Ablesemen's run and it is from the Highweek Inn,
Newton Abbot. Able announced that Haldon Hash would also be running
from the same venue. I do not know if there are separate trails or
would we be sharing a common trail? I guess that we'll find out in a
fortnight.
Man-Pig
had received a telephone call from Forrest Stump regarding next
week's bonfire Hash. Yes. It is going ahead and Forrest has already
constructed a huge bonfire. Forrest will be providing roadkill stew and
beer. However, Hashers are requested to bring along their own
drinking vessel, KFS (knives, forks, spoons) and a plate each....if
you want to eat and imbibe. Additionally, please bring along a
firework or two.
Man-Pig
also advised that he had spoken to Broken Man during the week. He is
now contactable on Fallen Woman's mobile number. He has sold his large
camper van and got a smaller one. He spent much of the summer
travelling around France and Spain which he enjoyed very much. He is
back in Brixham now.
This
week, being half term, he has his daughters and their families
visiting him so he is going to be a busy grandpa. Nevertheless, he is
planning on making a return to the Hash and I am sure that he'd be
delighted to hear from any Hashers in the meantime.
So, what do the Hares have in store for us this evening?
Soapy
briefs us that there is a single trail. No separate Long, Short or
Walkers' trails per se. One trail but with 4 Long/Short splits. Walkers
should do all the Shorts which will result in a distance of circa 2
miles. The last of the Longs is the Longest loop. Those embarking all 4
Longs will end up covering circa 4 miles. Mix and match your
Long/Short splits to your preferred distance.
The pub is doing chips or cheesy chips and you can order after the run.
Soapy points to the western end of the car park; "On is that way".
TRAIL
We
ran upstream and to the first Long/Short split. The Longs ran across a
small footbridge over the river for a circular loop around Dawlish
Water only to arrive back on the same footbridge....crafty. Soapy and
Palmolive then had us back on the Short and on another loop around the
edge of a park that took us onto Church Street and the second
Long/Short split.
The
Longs proceeded north along Church Street and then left along Weech
Road and a back check. We soon found a near concealed alleyway that
took us to Vicarage Gardens and Stonelands Park Roads. Once again
Soapy and Palmolive were ahead of us and directed back down the public
footpath off Aller Hill and back to the second Long/Short split
outside the church....again.
The
Longs are reunited with the Shorts as we climb up Oak Hill and then
divert into and out of a footpath that runs parallel with the road. A
check, or is it the third Long/Short, split has us descending down John
Nash Drive before entering Oaklands Wood. This seems familiar. Were
we anywhere near the Smugglers Inn? If so, this used to be well
trodden TVH3 territory but many, many moons ago.
Melonpicker
keeps calling "On-On", guiding us to the sweetie stop or, for some,
the sweaty stop.
Psycho has misted up and is flapping around big time
in an attempt to create a draft to dispel some of the accumulated
condensation. I don't recall American Psycho having this problem.
Everyone else tucked into chewy eyeballs and chocolate pumpkins....very
topical/tropical.
We
were soon at the final, and longest, of the Long/Short splits. I
traipsed behind Ernie and Corey as we followed a footpath along the
southern edge of Oaklands Wood up to Oak Hill Cross Road. The trail
stayed within the field and looped back to Soapy and Palmolive who
pointed us down footpath onto Bunting Way. The FRB's overshot another
alleyway that took us onto the Teignmouth Road before we ended up
heading up John Nash Drive then right and into Nash Gardens before
following a footpath running parallel with Teignmouth Road.
Across
the road and we were on very recent and familiar territory; at least
for those on the TVH3 40th anniversary weekend. The marks took us down
the cliff footpath, past the bandstand and down towards Marine Parade
before crossing ver the railway line and down to the underpass at the
railway station. At this point Polyfella was leading the Longs.
The
Pig was cheating and remained on Marine Parade waving at Polyfella
who was now on the other side of the tracks. Meanwhile, the Topiary
Twins were catching up fast. Pysycho could be mistaken for a steam
train the amount of water vapour that was escaping from her fancy
dress.
Just
before the pub we came across the OH sign. Shortly thereafter we
encountered the Walkers and the Shorts who had already got changed and
were heading beer wards.
A
good old fashioned Hash. Not a lot to separate the Longs, Shorts and
Walkers time wise. I'd say that was the sign of a well laid trail!
Down-Downs
What
did we think of the trail? Excellent. Very old school keeping the
pack together with twists and turns. A good mixture of town and
country with some lovely night-time views of the Dawlish seafront on
the descent down to Marine Drive. Well done Hares.
So,
who has an award from previous weeks? There is only one. It is the
Jester's hat and it currently resides with Horny....but not for long.
Horny has two stories. The first is about on Harriet who has been
cultivating mushrooms in her hot house whilst on trail. This refers to
Psycho who does not wish to get blood all over her new business suit:
"Saville Row ma'am?"
"No. Jimmy Saville"
In
order to avoid the inevitable blood stains and accompanying dry
cleaning bill as a result of her axe murdering rampage she has decided
to protect herself by wrapping herself in transparent polythene. Clever
eh? Perhaps not so clever when you're a fast FRB. As the trail
progressed so did the build up of condensation. At the sweetie stop
Pyscho was trying hard to introduce some air vents into her
polytunnel....without success. Never mind. At least you will have had
some fresh mushrooms for this morning's breakfast.
Despite
Psycho's faux pas she did not get a Down-Down. Instead we have a
short sighted Hasher. Barton Lane car park is huge and relatively empty.
Some parts of the car park are well lit, other parts not. This
particular Hasher parks in the best lit part of the car park. These are
the spaces for the only two charging points for electric cars. Does he
have an electric car? No. But he does have a conscience and elects
for a half pint of water accompanied by, "The grand old Duke of
York....." didn't you Wetfart?
Warmfront,
she of the matching Man-Pig skeleton (definitely go faster) suit is
summoned forth for what I think was asking if there was parking outside
the pub. This was after she'd parked up in Barton Lane car park which
is 100m from the pub!
There
is a Run Badge to award. It is 400 runs. Piltdown Man has insider
knowledge and correctly "guesses" Satnav. We have the Songmeister with
us and I think Satanav gets "Twenty toes".
Amazingly,
there are no more stories but there is an item of lost property, a
witches' hat. But which witch is which? In a Cinderellaesque piece of
detective work the RA goes around the room searching out a head to match
the hat from the dozen or so witches gathered. Eventually a perfect
fit. It is the Hare - Soapy. She selects a beer and the Songmeister
pipes up with the Aladdin's Lamp song.
As
there were no more stories, the GM produces another run milestone
badge. This time it is a 100 run badge. Initial guesses fall upon Roger
the Dodger. No. Not him. It is, in fact, Ernie. Ernie elects for a
glass of water and is treated to part two of the Aladding song.
Something about paint brushes and the Sultan's favourite camel.
A
naming. A naming. Ernie's grandson, Corey, has yet to be named.
Suggestions are few but those that are suggested all centre around Benny
Hill's single, "Ernie", and he drove that fastest milk cart in the
West. We get suggestions of: Ten Ton Ted from Teckington, simply TED and
Triple T. We settle on "Ten Ton Ted".
Corey
kneels before the RA who anoints him in the name of the Great Hash
God. Then, lo and behold, a real miracle. In the blink of the eye Ten
Ton Ted's beer has changed into water.....an anti-miracle. The
Songmeister comes up with, "Old McDonald had tourets..."
With
so many drivers wanting a glass of water there is a half of cider
looking for an owner. This is a bit like last week when there was a pair
of socks and a tracksuit bottom left at the Cockhaven Arms which were
also looking for their owner, weren't they Coldtit's?
Coldtits dispatches the last Down-Down and it is "On" to next week.
A great fancy dress turnout. Thankyou.
Next week
Next
week's Hash is from the Forrest Stump residence, Tinkley Bottom in
the Teign Valley. This is IMPORTANT. If you want food and beer you
must bring your own drinking vessel and eating implements Namely, beer
mug, plate, knife, fork and a spoon for the gravy. Also, bring a
firework or two if you have them.
On-On to next week. MP
Saturday 26 October 2024
THE LAUGHING GNOME & A DRINK STOP FROM HEAVEN
TVH3 The Words for 21st October 2024
Cockhaven Arms
Run No. 2046
HARES: Roger the Dodger aided by minions Big End and Well Hopped
Who
wuz there: Roger the Dodger, Big End, Well Hopped, Shitfaced, Man-Pig,
Beefy, Beeflicker, Pocket Rocket, Piltdown Man, Georgy Porgy, Smellie,
Pork Torpedo, Horny, Melon Picker, Soapy, Wetfart, U-Bend, Strap-On,
Strap Dancer, Ernie, Corey, Poacher, Slip-on-Me, Coldtits, Satnav,
Ablesemen, Wet Johnny, Erection, Smash, Miss Mash, Threesum, Cheerio
Beerio, Psycho, Wide Receiver and Justin & Dylan
Circle
Mild
weather, a clear sky and the promise of a beer stop to rival that of
last year's gnomaphonic affair attracted 35 Hashers and Harriets to the
Cockhaven Arms. Despite its large car park, parking is always a bit a
game. The key to winning it appears to be to arriving late. Wide
Receiver pitches up just as a local is leaving and glides straight into
the last available space. This is just after Psycho has to reverse
backwards down and through the narrow car park entrance and park
elsewhere........so elsewhere that when she returned after the run she
couldn't find her car!
Announcements were fairly brief.
Threesum has raffle tickets for the Christmas Draw.
Smellie
advises us that she has Hares up to the end of the year and,
additionally, one for next year.....apparently the Bird is alive and
fluttering somewhere and has made an early booking.
Soapy advises that next week's Hash is from Dawlish and that fancy dress is COMPULSORY.
Wetfart
spoke with Teapot last week and advised that Teapot has, at least,
found his sea legs. He has just returned from a cruise in the Azores.
He continues to improve, albeit very slowly. Let's hope it keeps on
going in that direction.
Finally,
the Hare....or not. Roger the Dodger is out on trail setting up the
drink stop. His Minions, Big End and Well Hopped, impart the following
porkies/advice.
"Walkers about three and a half. Shorts about four and a half. Longs about five and a half. Left out of the car park".
Brief or what?
Trail
We
turned left and ran up Cockhaven Road and an early Walkers split for
the Longs and the Shorts. I think the Walkers went left and then up
Bishops Avenue. The Longs and the Shorts continued up Cockhaven Road
and then left up Shute Hill till its junction with Radway Hill and a
check.
It
was then up Radway Hill to The Bell where the pub's bright lights
obviously disorientated U-Bend who took a tumble. Soapy and Pork
Torpedo put Humpty together again.
Another
check and now we were heading west along Manor Road and Teignview
Road. At the bottom of a footpath, we arrived at the only Long/Short
split. This was at the junction of Berry Hill and Teignview Roads. I
think the Shorts trail took them down Berry Hill and back through
Bishopsteignton.
For
the Longs it was the inevitable UP. Up the footpath towards the golf
club we wended. Somehow it seemed longer than I remember it. Through a
metal gate and into a steep field.
In
front of me was Wide Receiver who, sensibly, was walking up this hill.
Behind me was Big End sweeping the Longs. Past the reservoir, we hit
tarmac and a check. Beefy had gone straight ahead. Psycho had gone
right & wrong. Wide Receiver and Beeflicker had gone left and right.
I followed. We were "On".
No
golf course for us tonight. A long stretch of downhill allowed the
pace to increase as we passed Radway Farm entrance to our left and
cantered along what I think is Ashwell Lane.
At
Rowden Cross an arrow had us bear right. We were heading for the old
Red Rock brewery....alas no beer stop. Surprisingly, I was keeping up
with Wide Receiver and Beeflicker. We passed a peculiar road sign. It
was the usual triangle warning sign, red edge white centre. What was
not ordinary about it was the symbol at its centre. It looked to be a
pair of juddering false teeth. Below this was another reflective sign.
It read, "Incessant chatter next 3 miles!" Bloody council. It should
have been placed a mile further back. Behind me were Beefy and Pyscho.
They hadn't stopped yakking since the last check.
At
the T-junction outside the back entrance to Lindridge Park was a
check. I do not think that anyone was fooled. Beefy seized the
opportunity to run ahead in order to snap some full frontals of the
FRB's. Psycho was deposited with me. She did not break step. She did
not break sentence. We ran down Humber Lane narrowly managing to skirt
around the two large muddy puddles that are always here at this time of
year.
An
arrow then had us sharp left and running down the rocky and muddy
track southeast towards Colway Cross. "The sweetie stop" I thought, it
would be at the same place as last year. Pete Tong!
Beeflicker
and Psycho had a shoelace issue so I pushed on. Only Poacher and Beefy
ahead. At the end of the muddy lane dismay. Beefy's torchlight had
turned right. No sweetie stop at last year's pitch then!
Near
Wolfsgrove an almost hidden public footpath sign took us left and past
the side of a solitary house. This footpath led down a steep and
usually treacherous slippery track. Just for good measure, there were
also about four steps that surprised the unwary.
As
the slope began to ease, we arrived at a metal gate and the path now
skirted the lower edge of a wood. More problems underfoot.....exposed
roots. Eventually another gate and firmer footing heading downhill at
the edge of a field. We hit tarmac but, just as we thought we were
saved, it transpired it was poorly maintained tarmac on an unadopted
road.
We
now arrived at Forde Lane and a turn left up towards the centre of the
village. Initially marks were on the left but then an arrow had us
move to the right of the road, and for good reason. The marks led us
down The Drive and past a small park/playing field to our right and
then to the main Newton Road. We headed left.
Flour
had given way to large blue chalk arrows and then another odd sign;
two S's but they were not side-by-side, they were one above the other.
Wide Receiver arrived to declare to the befuddled (i.e. me) that this
was the sweetie stop sign. But the stop was not here. It was across the
Newton Road and down to the banks of the Teign passing a camping lamp,
a large garden gnome and a trolley on the way.
The
Walkers and the Shorts had had their sweetie stop and were walking
towards us. Their head torches blinded the Longs who, wholly
inadvertently, ran through the unseen swamp splattering the Walkers and
the Shorts in their wake.
Over the railway footbridge and down the, uneven, steps. Whoa...behold!
The drink stop from Heaven.
On
the table there was beer, lemonade, water, mulled wine and spiced rum.
In the food hall, a small tent, there was a choice of savouries or
sweets; crisps and Doritoes plus Murry Mints, wine gums and
marshmallows. All illuminated with fairly lights.
The
river was calm, the sky clear and there was still 20 feet of flat
beach exposed despite a rising tide. All-in-all, very tranquil.
Well done RtD and his trusty bearded assistant, whose name I'm afraid, I've forgotten.
The
Longs spent quite a time at the sweetie stop as Roger-the-Dodger was
keen to have us consume everthing in sight. Psycho took it upon herself
to liberate the entire table of drinks. However, she had it
broadside-on and had difficulty getting it up the steps. Nevertheless,
amazingly, nothing was spilled.
Eventually we ate and drank almost everything and it was time to make our way back to the Cockhaven Arms.
What a lovely drink-stop....the run wasn't too bad either!
Down-Downs
We
commence the Down-Downs by thanking Rodger the Dodger for the beers.
It also seems fitting that he should receive the first DD for such a
fantastic drink-stop. We have the Songmeister with us and he commences
with: S.H.I..Y.T.R.A.I.L etc.....
"Are the any awards?"
Horny
has the Hashshit shirt . She wastes no time in awarding this to the
thoroughly deserving U-Bend for his early fall. Pork Torpedo adopts
something apt.
Psycho
has retuned from a 6 week absence with no excuses but with the
Jester's Hat...or is it a boomerang? No sooner has Horny got rid of one
award she accrues another. I think her misdemeanour was to direct
Psycho out of the upper car park when there was one large empty space
clearly available.
Oh
dear. I rather feared what might come next. It is THAT SONG! The one
that you don't sing to your sweetheart on 14th February if you plan on
the relationship surviving into the 15th!
We have a badge to award.
"Guess the number".
Wide
Receiver must have insider knowledge as he immediately, and correctly,
guesses 50. But to whom? The Pig drops some unusuitable clues and
Cheerio Beerio comes up to receive her 50th run badge and a half pint of
water as we hadn't got her a WKD.
Pork
Torpedo offers up 'She's a little flat-chested but she's all right'
.... hmmmm, and then it is down to our last half of ale.
There
are no more awards but Pocket Rocket has a story. It is about that
swamp again, the one on the way to the sweetie-stop. This is a story
about a discourteous Hasher; a Hasher who failed to warn Pocket Rocket
about the swamp. A note for the discourteous Erection.
Next week
Next
week's Hash is from the Brunswick Arms, Dawlish EX7 9PB. Our Hares are
Soapy, Palmolive and Melonpicker for the annual Halloween Hash.
Circle
up at the car park just behind the public toilets further along
Brunswick Place on the left. DO NOT FORGET YOUR FANCY DRESS!
On-On to next week. MP
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