Remember, The Bridford Inn NOT the Cridford Inn!

Run #2123 Monday 6th April Circle up 7:15 pm from the Bridford Inn, Bridford, Exeter EX6 7HT with Forrest and Woodlend.

 

TVH THE WORDS by Beefy

 

Words for Teign Valley Hash #2122, Monday 30th March 2026 

Awards night, at Devonport Arms, Paignton.

Hares: Wigwam and Bobbiball.

 

6.28318 radians:

Wigwam, Bobbiball, Piltdown Man, Georgie P'Orgy, Satnav, Coldtits, Slip On Me, Wet Fart, Bee Flicker, Able Semen, Bass Camp, Threesum, Pocket Rocket, Strap On, Pisswell, Broken Man, Soapy, Melon Picker, Man Pig, Ollie, SMEllie, Roger the Dodger, Well Hopped, Hornie, Pork Torpedo, Rent Boy, U Bend, Swinger and Beefy.

Late arrivals: Warm Front and Psycho. 

 

On the pavement, at a seemingly uninteresting crossroads, in an ostensibly unloved backwater of an otherwise too busy seaside settlement in South Devon, Piltdown Man called for order and for a Circle to form. He used the word "please" and twenty nine hashers formed a polygon of sorts, much to the bafflement of the occasional passer-by.

 

Our GM welcomed us to Hash number 2125 (it was 2122). He mentioned, also, returnees in the form of Satnav, Broken Man, Rent Boy, Ollie and, of course, Wigwam. Other, short-term absentees included Hornie, Pork Torpedo, U Bend, Bass Camp and Threesum.

 

The Hares, Wigwam and Bobbiball, gave us their spiel (which I didn't hear as I was wandering around taking photos). "You'll be back in an hour!" was what I heard and that was all I needed.

 

The Trail:

So, "On on that way." and we were sent up Elmbank Road (coming the other way were Psycho and Warm Front, in a car) to a left turn onto Totnes Road, crossing it to enter Primley Park. The Longs parted company with the Shorts, for loop around the meadow, to rejoin them on a climb to a Check, where we found Wigwam who gave us the tip so, we were On left, along Primley scramble and up through the woods. A couple more checks brought us out onto the green at the top of Primley Park. Pisswell, Man Pig, Well Hopped and Swinger, all had seen marks on the path which led out on Westleat Avenue where we encountered a very relaxed-looking Bobbiball who would follow the Shorts, I believe. 

 

On on along Clifton Road and a check sent us left into Winner Hill Road which, in turn, descended onto Winner Street where, in centuries prior , the salt spray of a rough high tide might well have made contact with you. Bearing left, we headed for the junction with Colley End Road and past the former laundrette (which I used for three years), into Colley End Road and Colley End Park.

 

The Trail took us to Monastery Road, Berry Drive , Berry Road and back onto Colley End Road. Next, there was a right into into Copley Close leading to Foxhole Road and we emerged at, and crossed, King's Ash Road to follow Luscombe Road until we reached Queen Elizabeth Drive. The Longs and Shorts divided here. The Longs quit Q.E.D. for Trelissick Road and went onto Lutyens Drive until a left turn took us through a pedestrian gate which gave onto the Westerland Valley Country Park. It was getting dimpsy by now and I was trying to take a photo of the post-sunset skyline to include the Beacon Hill masts. Bee Flicker and Man Pig were ahead of me at this point so, I was pleasantly surprised to hear a familiar Harriet's voice ring out across the field. "Evening!" called Warm Front and emerged from the enclosing gloom to join me. 

 

We ran on and chatted until we caught up with Man Pig and Bee Flicker, who were walking. By now, we were back on the Shorts and following Great Parks Lane. Bee Flicker joined us and we ran the narrow path which brought us back to the ring road. We dodged the traffic at the PeLiCon crossing to run up Waterleat Road where, who did Warm Front spy but Strap On, one of the twain she had scared witless, last week, with her needlessly loud "On" calling; it didn't work this time. On to Totnes Road, which we crossed to join Penwill Way and a sharp left into Hayes Road with the"OH" marked as well as all the Trail marks we encountered on the run. I tried to keep pace with Warm Front as we dashed down the road back to the Devonport Arms.

 

The On-down.

When I arrived back at the car to get changed, Well Hopped and Swinger were on the way to the On-down so, we exchanged a few words before they left me to carry on. Meanwhile, Psycho returned to her car and we walked down the road together and entered the pub to see no familiar faces at all. The company present looked around at us and, as one, directed us to another door, this with a makeshift "No entry" sign stuck on it. Feeling slightly unnerved by this, Psycho, nevertheless, pulled open the door. It was like gaining entry to your regular speakeasy: a secret room, full of your favourite people enjoying the atmosphere and each other's company. A great selection of food was on offer, paid for by the Hash.

The Down-downs. (What happened was...)

 

Wet Fart gave his hat to Bobbiball for, I think, riding his bike around the Trail. Bobbiball had to drink his beer from his own shoe.

 

Warm Front produced the hat she had gained the previous week to donate it to the worthy cause in the form of SMEllie who had, unsurprisingly, been caught in a loop of dots and arrows where escape velocity had been attained only with assistance.

 

The Hares were rewarded with a beer...tainted by drinking it through their own sock! Whatever next?

Poacher drank a beer for being a returnee: he must have been thirsty as i have seen him refuse beer in the past.

 

An organised fight broke out amongst the rest of the returnees and, it seems, Mrs Sheen was the winner but, passed her beer to Wigwam. It was a confusing but entertaining event.

 

The Awards were as follows:

Hasher of the year: Bee Flicker;

Harriet of the year: SMEllie;

Hash of the year: Pisswell;

S/S of the year: Roger the Lodger;

On Down of the year: Pisswell;

Newcomer of the year: Tongue and Groove;

Get A Life: Beefy;

Story Teller: Man Pig.

Thank you, Wigwam and Bobbiball, for a great Trail and an entertaining evening all round.

Here end the Words.

Next week: The Bridford Inn with Forrest Stump.

 

Thanks go to those who voted for my award: you may have a point.

On on,

Beefy.

NOT THE WORDS by Beefy

Not the Words.

There's a certain lack of idiots at the Circle to be found,

Teign valley offenders that you might have seen around.

We have a little list; it's in our little fist!

The owners of the running shoes we need back on the ground,

Of long-lost voices calling "On!" we want to hear the sound.

You're on our little list, 'cause all of you are missed.

Those who like to run and drink and have a bit if food,

And some who need to do the thing that bears do in the wood,

I think you get the gist, you're all on the list.

Those who like to spend their spare time dangling from rocks,

And some who like to run a Trail in just their pants and socks,

Expertise with tresses and cleverness with locks

Often comes in handy when you're out in the boondocks,

You who like to ride a breadboard down a river,

Navigating on dry land might leave you all aquiver.

If youre a guitarist, you're definitely missed.

Has your ocean wave gone flat or has your tide gone out?

Get out of the doldrums and give "on on!" a shout,

Don't be feeling rudderless with no fuel in the tank,

It's time to take your ship to shore; it's time to weigh the anch(or).

We really must insist, you're on the little list.

Don't pull the plug on life and leave yourself all sparkless,

Reject the moniker "the Prince of Darkness"!

Attendance at the Circle is bound to be recorded,

If you find you have no life, a run badge is awarded.

Come sun or rain or mist, you're surely on the list.

Come back, we implore you: see the dots before you,

The sight of mud and fields and trees can only help restore you.

You'll get to hear what you might call something like a sermon

On the merits of a garden sauna from some-one who's German.

You can hang around with other folk of robust sobriety,

Until the Trail is over then it's back to Hash society!

Joking and laughing and quipping and quaffing as the daylight is fading,

Stories are told of stupid or bold with Down-down songs serenading.

If your feelings are requited by the words that here are cited,

Your showing up is sure to make us

More, or less, delighted!

AWARDS NIGHT

Run #2122 Monday 30th March AWARDS NIGHT extravaganza Circle up 7:15 pm from the Devonport Arms, 42 Elmbank Road, Paignton TQ4 5NG with the legendary old firm of Wigwam and Bobbiball.

Words of wisdom from Bobby which should be noted:

The Devonport Arms is on the corner where Hayes Road meets St Michaels Road.

Parking is difficult - there is no pub car park.

One suggestion is to come along the ring road to Tweenaway Cross turn left straight on past the zoo turn right at the brow then first left into Hayes Road. Then find the nearest space or try a side road. Parking past the pub is not advisable.

I would try to get there as early as possible!

 

 

TVH THE WORDS by Warmfront

Sandygate Inn

Run #2121

Monday 23rd March 

We circled up in the car park on a miraculously dry and benign evening outside the Sandygate Inn. Able reckoned it had been 15 years since the hash had last met there. An intro by the GM, a plea from Smellie for hares, and onto tonight’s hare; Beeflicker was remarkably still standing after running 47 miles at the weekend, and even more remarkably had managed to lay a trail. 

 

There would be plenty of checks, no false trails, one and on. So off we set. We were sent off up the lane out of Sandygate and into the darkness. The walkers soon peeled off left and the rest of the pack headed up towards Gappah, across a field and into the woods with Polyfella leading the way. The longs were spat back out onto the road (I think we lost Man Pig here who got confused by the arrow) to ascend to the top of Gappah whilst the shorts carried on through the woods and were (mostly) not to be seen again until we returned to the pub. 

 

The FRBs took some lucky guesses at checks and once almost in sight of Chudleigh hung a left down through fields and emerged out onto the main road. We carefully crossed it as instructed and followed the trail down into Chudleigh Knighton. I was confident we’d go left to cross the Teign at the little bridge but I was proved wrong and had to back track. Thankfully Beefy had kindly marked the check with a bit of reflective metal for me. I soon caught up again with Beefy and Polyfella and we took the trail under the A38 and along the Teign. I think Beefy was hopeful of a river crossing but I was quite pleased to keep my feet dry. We pegged it over the narrow humpback bridge, then up the road as quickly as possible. I think Polyfella’s blue flashing anklets may have saved us from being run over. I breathed a bit easier once we’d gained the cycle path which we then followed all the way back to the pub.

 

There was already a merry crowd in the pub and the hash had almost completely filled the bar. Once everyone was assembled the awards were given to Woodlend for animal abuse (leading his unwitting dog straight into a parked car), Warm Front for over enthusiastically calling the trail, Wet Fart for taking his clothes off in the car park, Man Pig for taking photo of a harriet’s bottom, and the hare Beeflicker for a fabulous trail.

 

On on to awards night!

SANDYGATE INN

Run #2121 Monday 23rd March Circle up 7:15 pm from the Sandygate Inn. Kingsteignton TQ12 3PU with Beeflicker.

No food but they do Peperami - it's a bit of an animal!

TVH3 The Words for 16th March 2026

The Upside Bar, Paignton

Run No. 2120 - Park Runs

HARE: Man-Pig 

 

A very light drizzle greeted the 12 intrepid souls who had made it into The Upside Bar. We ventured outside just in time to call back Ernie who had either:

a) embarked on the trail early

or b) had got lost within 15 feet of the pub

 

In the absence of our GM, who had no car and probably not enough pocket money to pay for the parking, Piltdown Man assumed role of GM.

 

Numbers were a little down at 12 but this was swollen by the late arrival of Warmfront and Psycho and the even later arrival of Coldtits sans Smellie (who we thought, incorrectly, might be on the next train).

There were no announcements, not even when Psycho advised us that she was expecting (she didn't actually say this. What she actually said was that she was "late"). The Hare gallantly volunteered to do The Words.

So, without further ado or any other late arrivals, it was over to the Hare. There were three trails: Walkers', Longs' and Shorts'. Being in town all three would be predominantly on road. However, on the "Upside", the Hare guaranteed us the opportunity to try a selection of beers that we are unlikely to have encountered previously.

"Does anyone want to know distances?" enquires the Hare. The only affirmation came from Georgy Porgy who wanted to know how long the Walkers' trail was.

"About two and a half miles" guessed the Pig. The Pig then took the pack over to the nearest mark and said, "This is what the marks will look like when on tarmac or concrete". Barely visible against the reflection of streetlights and passing cars was a small, faded, single-headed, chalk arrow.

"It's so small" commented Warmfront.

"So my wife keeps telling me", retorted the Pig. "I don't need to come to the Hash to be insulted".

She did have a point though. The chalk arrows, whilst clear when laying the trail earlier in the day, were now.....ahem.....faint.

Trail
And with that we were off - and off trail in an instant! The pack was directed down towards the seafront but all missed the first mark which took them right and to Paignton Bowling Club. "On back" and back they came to the near invisible mark. The trail now took a right and left through Torbay Park, across the Esplanade by the Vue cinema and then left along the seafront towards Preston.

Miss Mash, Smash, Strap-Dancer, Georgy Porgy and Piltdown Man were intent on the Walkers' trail so the Hare attempted to catch up with Longs and the Shorts. At the end of Paignton Green, a check had slowed the pack. Eventually, the Hare caught up with the pack at a second check at the entrance to Parkfield House. The trail now traversed the skateboard park, crossed a public car park until we arrived at the Walkers/Longs & Shorts' split.

The Walkers were directed up Manor Road for a jaunt around the grounds of Oldway Mansion but somehow never actually found their way into Oldway. Meanwhile, the Longs and Shorts cut through Marine Gardens and along Marine Drive to a check outside the the WC's at the junction of Marine Drive and Seaway Road. I think that the pack had got their eye-in with respect to spotting the fading marks as it wasn't long before "On-On" was called from the public footpath that runs along the edge of the railway.

By this point we had lost Bobbiball who was doing the trail by bicycle. His undoing was the sea wall construction works being undertaken along the seafront.

The pack crossed the pedestrian footbridge over the permanent way to another check at the entrance to Hollicombe Park. Beefy checked out the park whilst Warmfront followed some marks from an old Hash trail until she came to a chalk arrow. "On-On" up Hollicombe Lane to Cockington Lane and a check. This check had Beeflicker checking downhill (never do that) towards Ten Acre Brake (Hollicombe Valley). The rest of the pack had correctly embarked on an uphill incline in the opposite direction, alternatively being led by Warmfront, Beefy and Psycho.

The trail remained on Cockinglon Lane, crossing Upper Headland Park Road to a check near Lower Penns Road. It was then up Preston Down Road one way system to the L/S split at the end of Upper Penns Road (be careful how you spell this!). All went Long as, by now, we had lost contact with Ernie and Strap-On who, in turn, had lost contact with the trail and were now enjoying a selection of craft beers at the On-Down.

More road as the marks (now in reasonably conspicuous flour) guided the pack along more road towards Sandringham Gardens. Two checks later we were, eventually, off road and into Occombe Valley via Merryland Close. The Pig and Pisswell formed the rear guard of the Longs - unaware that the Shorts had short-cutted back to the bar.

Initially broad tracks in woodland gave way to narrow tracks in open pasture on Preston Down before arrows had us descending back into woodland. Not far ahead, we could hear the calls of the FRB's. A slightly slippery descent had us emerge from the woods onto Coombe Road. But, by now, the FRB's were neither in sight nor earshot.

Pisswell and the Hare then enjoyed a leisurely canter back to the OD via Barcombe Lane, Oldway Mansion, Mount Ganja, Higher Polsham Road and Victoria Park. The sole check in Victoria Park had not been kicked out...I never did enquire as to whether or not the FRB's had undertaken this part of the trail.

Down-Downs
By the time the Longs arrived at the On-Down, it rather looked as though the Walkers and the Shorts had been there sometime. It was 8.55pm and, as the OD closes at 10pm on a Monday, we pushed on with the DD's.

Pisswell has returned from panto duty and undertook the RA'ing duties. She also had a bag of full of Hash paraphenalia (this was just as well in the absence of any awards being present).
The first DD went to Ernie. This was for not being able to find the OD when he was only 15 feet away from it and the rest of the pack were standing outside. The Hare had got a selection of 3 different beers and a cider for the DD's. Ernie sensibly opted for one of the pale draught beers. "Here's to the short-sighted one".

Next there is a story regarding pronunciations - Cycle, Psycho, Sci-co. The candidates were Warmfront, Psycho and Bobbiball for cycling around parts of the trail. The Hash decibel meter was called into play in order to establish the Hasher most culpable. By a gnat's crotchet, Bobbiball was declared the 'winner'. He opted for the other light draught ale accompanied by the usual ditty.

Are there any stories? Only one it would appear. It transpired that the Topiary Twins had been up to their usual mischief when kicking out checks - especially the chalk one's which were proving quite a challenge to mark in the correct direction. These are recessionary times. Historically, the Twins would pull down a huge bough, usually of road blocking proportions, with which to mark the direction of onward travel. Not so this evening. Three checks were marked with a solitary blade of grass.....Hard Times indeed Mr Dickens.

Pisswell envelops the half pint glass of cider with a dirty sock and invites the demon duo to drink the cider through the sock. Eventually, after a lot of coughs and splutters, Psycho and Warmfront finish their joint DD to the rendition of, "Hold it in your Hand Mrs Murphy".

The final DD is the draught Porter. This goes to the Hare who elects to drink it from the Turd mug!

Finally, we thank pub for having us; for the most part the Hash were the only customers present which was a shame given the great selection of beers.....I don't think that anyone dined out on the pickled eggs!

Next week

Next week's Hash is from the Sandygate Inn, Sandygate, Newton Abbot. Our Hare is Beeflicker.

On-On to next week. MP

Epilogue
Some important information was imparted during the DD's. It relates to parking charges. Apparently, on road parking where there are roadside parking meters is free after 6pm. Thank you for that Ernie. We are now so informed.

A VISIT TO THE UPSIDE BAR COMPANY

Run #2120 Monday 16th March Circle up 7:15 pm from The Upside Bar Co. Victoria Street, Paignton TQ4 5DS with hare Manpig.

The library car park is 100m along the one way system on the left (effectively at the side of Paignton Station). This might be a bit pricey. A better bet is to park in the bus station car park.

No food but they do pickled eggs apparently! 

 

 

TVH THE WORDS

 

Run #2119 Monday 9th March

The Grumpy Farmer, Bishopsteignton

Hare: Well Hopped

'An amazing trail, fantastic down downs, amazing company and plenty of laughter, exactly how a hash should be'.

Who wuz there (according to a still worse for wear Man-Pig, recovering from Scotland beating France (!) on Saturday:

Well Hopped (Hare), Pocket-Rocket, Man-Pig, Beefy, Beeflicker, Piltdown Man, Georgie Porgy, Smash, Miss Mash, Miss'ing, Coldtits, Smellie, Slip-on-Me, Ablesemen, Archangel, Psycho, Warmfront, Strap-On, Strap-Dancer, Erection, Wet Johnny, Big End, Swinger, Roger the Dodger, Melon-Picker & Shitfaced (pub only)

Now let the fun and games commence with Beeflicker's ode to hashing:

To the tune of " a place in the hills"

https://youtu.be/ON2MH_Nhryc?si=sRhsVqtGlHIux5cu

There's a place in the hills that the hashers do roam,
Where the flour shines white in the light on the road
There I am checking the checks of the hash
Which sends our souls to our peril,

In the light of the torch or the light of the moon
You will see that our eyes are still smiling for this,
For there's no other love that warms hashers heart,
The tender way that Your trails do

Like the speed of the longs my spirit does soar,
To be found in their presence I couldn't want more,
For when I am hashing, I know fullness of joy
And a peace beyond understanding

It's so muddy to hash through valleys of green,
By deep shiggy crags and cool forest streams,
Though checking times come and hashers are torn
The hare's Word will never be forgotten,

As the speed of the shorts is so swift and so sure
We know that the hares, they will come back once more,
To gather Her people from all hashes and lands
Till then, I'll wait for my trail
Till then, I'll wait for my words
Till then, I'll wait for my down down....

CIRCLE

At the Grumpy Farmer we were circled up and the cars, they just kept coming, this was an amazing turn out. It's the last night of voting so the GM made this very clear, Manpig asked for a words volunteer, to save from a ghastly silence, Beeflicker once again volunteered. S.m. ellie asked for hares for the whole of April, apart from the part of April that Beefy Is down for. (Remember, no hares means no hash, it can't be left to the same people, come forward and lay some trails).

Over to the hare...

3 trails, mostly flat, dry and all kept short... yeah right, that grin on your face tells us differently, young lady.....

TRAIL

And we were off. Out of the Grumpy Farmer and right at the end of the driveway. (The usual FRBs all hobbling due to previous events.)

At the triangle junction, we went right down Humber Lane and up the hill at the bottom, there is a theme of hills going on in this hash. At the next check, we headed left down Three Tree Lane where we eventually came to a l/s and W split, l/s went left and W went right. We would later see the walkers at the sweety stop.

Shortly after the the split, we had a 20 mile climb up Hamblecoombe lane to the top and then right down Longthorn road into Idford for the fabulous sweety stop. From here, the shorts and walkers headed down Fore Street while the longs went left along Butt's land and Tower Hill Lane and up onto the commons. Turning right down Rixafer road and then left onto Fore street to join the walkers and shorts. We all then broke off to the right, along a bridleway and back onto Three Tree Lane and then followed Humber Lane back to the Grumpy Farmer for a well deserved drink.

DOWN DOWNS

Only Beeflicker had an award but no story to tell until Swinger's pint slid across the table and onto her lap covering her in beer, a down down to the dribbler.

Warmfront took the 2nd one for her dramatic finish to her epic ultra, over 40 miles, 4000 meter elevation, 2 legs that didn't work, a wheelchair and space blanket, amazing effort Warmfront!

Well Hopped deservedly took the 3rd down down for her fabulous trail of hills, mud, water, more hills and mud and sweeties. Fantastic trail Well Hopped, thank you so much.

Now the last down down went to Erection for grabbing hold of wet Johnny's erection after Well Hopped drove them off the road and into the bushes, I guess they both enjoyed that romantic moment as they both had a big smile on their faces.

An amazing trail, fantastic down downs, amazing company and plenty of laughter, exactly how a hash should be.

On on to next week at the upside down [sic] bar in Paignton with Manpig.

On-on Beeflicker

RED ROCK N ROLL!

Run #2119 Monday 9th March Circle up 7:15 pm from The Grumpy Farmer (former Red Rock brewery) Higher Humber Farm, TQ14 9TD Bishopsteignton with Well Hopped