A WARM WELCOME FROM TVH3

Welcome to the Teign Valley Hash House Harriers of glorious South Devon. You are guaranteed a warm welcome and a great hash experience. We are the 'Party Hash' and we run from pubs all over Torbay, Dartmoor and the Teign Valley every Monday evening at 7.15pm. Our trails are marked with flour, chalk or sawdust and take in woodland, streams, byways, bridle paths and rolling countryside. We cater for all abilities, you needn't worry about keeping up, a leisurely walk with others or a good paced run if you're fit - you choose. The run duration is anything from 30 minutes to an hour and the distance is normally between 3-6 miles depending on whether you decide to take a short or long trail. Your first run is free, so come along and give it a go! After the run hashers enjoy a drink and food in the pub. On many occasions, the pub will lay on a 'Hash Menu', food specially for hashers.

WHAT TO EXPECT AT YOUR FIRST HASH

Starts soon after 7:15 pm each Monday.
The Grandmaster will gather the hash together in a circle and welcome Virgins & Visitors to TVH3 and inform the group of pertinent news or upcoming events.
Hares will announce details or the trail, number of long and short splits and regroups.

Down-Downs - sometimes at the circle but usually in the pub after the run. Hashers and harriets (lady hashers) have a half pint and under age hashers have a soft drink or water. If you are driving, just ask the RA for water.

A Down-Down is a means of punishing, rewarding, or merely recognizing an individual for any action or behavior. Once awarded, the downdown must be drunk without pause, otherwise the RA may take action!

Individuals may be recognized for outstanding service, or for their status as a visitor or newcomer.

Down-Downs also serve as punishment for misdemeanours real, imagined, or blatantly made up.

Such transgressions may include: wearing new shoes, pointing with a finger, or the use of real names rather than hash names.

Hash Names

The use of real names (nerd name) during an event is discouraged, and members are typically given a new "hash name," usually in deference to a particularly notorious escapade, a personality trait, or their physical appearance.

Members are named after attending the hash on several occasions or if something noteworthy occurs to prompt a naming.

Other hashers may share stories or observations about the individual, with the final name being chosen by general consensus from all suggestions put forward by the hash.

NEWCOMERS TO THE HASH
Completely new to hashing? Don't know what to expect? Worried, shy or nervous? You needn't be as all newcomers or virgins as they are known, will receive a warm welcome. When the hashers are called to make a circle - about 7:15 pm each Monday, the Grand Master will welcome all hashers and after various notices about forthcoming events etc are dealt with, he will ask if there are any visitors from other hashes or virgins present. You will be asked to come forward and be introduced to the hash. A tip to remember, don't wear new trainers as these are frowned upon by the RA (Religious Advisor) and will incur a sprinkling of flour over them. That's all there is to it and you can then step back and enjoy the run and the social get together after in the On Down (the pub). Whatever your pace, there are certain to be others who will keep you company along the trail. Walk, jog or run - it's up to you.
Hashing is all about making friends and having fun, so just turn up any Monday and have a go.

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A PRE-CHRISTMAS TALE OF TWO MANORS

Run #1824 Monday 9th December from the Churston Manor Hotel with Manpig, U Bend & Bogof#2

Pre-Christmas jollities were Shirley upon us Monday night in devastated Churston, Oh Dearly Had Already Left and failed to see U Bend's FB warning regarding the 'traffic works' nearby. Traffic works? No, the entire village was yellow plastic-railed off and a jolly chicane-like diversion roundabouts and thereabouts finally found the entrance to the gaily light-festooned and ancient Churston Manor Hotel. Ye gods, that was a mouthful to get us rolling, rolling rolling, keep them dawgies rollin' Rawhide!
I'm sorry, I don't know what came over me...

A 'local' venue across the Bay but an urban nightmare drive and 69 had already allowed for this and was there first to secure prime real estate for the chariot. A quick quarter of an hour to catch up on the gee gee results before Beefy arrived and then the charging chariot cavalcade crush commenc-ed.. Didulikethat? No, well...

Shirley a triumph in our time as methinks I have the numbers cover-ed, there being a grand and goodly total of forty seven potential partygoers as follows:

Pork Torpedo, Hornie, Number 2 (great welcome), Able, Well Hopped, Big End, Bobby, Wigwam, Teapot, Fukarwi (he came back - a hasher like him!), Beefy, SM Ellie, BroadS, Doris, Wetfart, Manopause, Wet Johnny, Erection, GM Shitfaced, I-Poo'd, T Humper, Chris, Anne (virgin), Manpig, U Bend, Bogof #2, Only Here, Plonker, Artful Dogger (the lads are back), BB, Piltdown, Georgy, Piddler, Debbie, Georgia, Adam, Robert, Soapy, Melon Picker, SatNav, 3sum, Coldtits, Slip on Me, 69, GaGa4It (a solo once more - where are the rest of the ladies, Oh Dearly Not Sighted For Many a Hash?), Fallen Woman & Broken Man. HA!

Circle convened and a virgin, Ann, was beckoned forth for initiation, and it transpired she was with Chris whose time would Shirley cometh later.  Last chance saloon for the Christmas Party tickets; an entreaty from SatNav for the 'One Pounders' to find her and not vice versa; Doris calling for a February 2020 slot to be filled and then U Bend was summoned.  Quite straightforward: A long about five, a short, about three and an indeterminate walkers' trail with of course, as advertised, a pub stop en routey.

Plonker called the way out front and it was quite slick and slippery in the woods with clean running hard to find but eventually we descended onto Elberry cove and made our way up Broadsands road to the common where a misguided contribution of 'ON ON to the Weary Ploughman!' was shouted by a nameless idiot...sigh.
Warily navigating the busy Dartmouth road and across Galmpton common we coursed and cursed [sic] and it was there that an unfortunate long stepped into a deep pothole and evidently was far from amus-ed..

Closing from a long, long way back, the Bat was joined by BroadS - still standing after his Dartington mudbath on Saturday evening plus Well Hopped, Big End and Manopause.

It wasn't far down to the Manor Inn (a Tale of Two Manors) and inside were the massed ranks of the shorts cum walkers with the locals seemingly bemused by it all.

'What are you having BB, a half or a pint? Mind you I'm not buying it!' came the greeting from Poles Piddler but I agreed with Manopause, it was too hot to tarry inside (for the longs anyway) and we decided to continue back.  'Only' 4.5 miles but welcome was the sight of the bar at the Churston Manor where quite a few (non Manor Inn hashers) were ensconced. Not far enough for Wet Johnny - whose star is still in its ascendency, running-wise and he proceeded (with Beefy, I suspect) to do the short trail for good measure.

'Can I have a Wild Blonde please?' said I to the young barman. He gave me an odd look and paused for a few seconds before finally realising that it was the beer I was after and not one of the bar staff - yes, really, I didn't make it up... The beer price was quite surprising - £3.80 for the Wild Blonde and Doom and £3.90 for the Jail even though Bobby remarked that both the Blonde and Jail were flat later on. But never mind, worse things happen.
The hash fare was served - money up front - was it a fiver? (for a driver*) and we made ready for the usual shenanigans that pose as:

THE AWARDS & DOWNDOWNS

SLIP ON ME (the White Bat hat) from Big End for going in the gents and losing her knickers - unrelated incidents you'll be relieved to know Oh Dearly Easily Shocked.

BEEFY (Hashit Pillock shirt) from Wet Johnny - a delayed DD from last week when we missed giving Beefy (hare) a reward tipple.

MANPIG (despite trying to wriggle out of it) had the celebration Birthday hat and birthday DD, Olé!

Rip-roarious was the naming of (Court Farm) Chris. His starter for ten and claim to fame being a tool maker elicited an immediate cry of 'Strap-on' from the Good Ol' Boys loitering by the fireplace. Not immediately picked up by our gentle RA, the said Good 'Ol Boys - now vocally assisted by Piltdown, had to insist and being of good voice we prevail-ed so let's hear it for STRAP-ON!!! Oh yes!

Finally, a joint DD for U BEND and his assistant Bev, who I was reliably informed by Piltdown that she has a SH3 hash handle of Bogof#2.

* Captain Mainwaring

POSTSCRIPT
Quite an evening and party atmosphere at the Manor Inn pub stop which looked like the OD, packed with hashers as it Shirley was, and later in the Churston Manor itself. A scenic and technical long (woods) trail by the hares and the shorts and walkers did well to make the Manor and back. The Churston Manor had that 'wow' factor and was enjoyed by all. Cheers to the hares!

ON ON to next week and our Christmas Draw from the Kings Arms (TQ12 3EG) 7:15 with Hare:- Shitfaced

JINGLE BELL HOUNDS, FAIRY LIGHTS & FLAPJACKS MADE FOR A MAGIC EVENING

Run #1823 Trendlebere Down, OD the Bell Inn, Bovey Tracey with hare Beefy

And there it was, just as foretold, a shimmering blue luminescent arrow pointing to the sacred circle in a fairy-like grotto in darkest Trendlebere Down - magic...

A crisp evening (37f) saw some thirty eight hardy hashers assemble at Beefy's well marked 'car park' on Trendlebere Down. Indeed, there could be no excuses not to find the circle location with an almost festive blue reflective arrow showing the way. Intense planning had Shirley gone into the hare's preparations - a seven mile recce on Sunday and over ten miles laid on the day - Beefy had left nothing to chance and dare we say it - it was dry and still - Oh give thanks to the hash gods on high!.

Cometh the circle up deadline and the glorified lay by was filled to overflowing. No urban lighting here and in the inky black darkness Teapot called for names and his total was pretty well spot on.

Recalled: GM Shitfaced, Teapot, Piltdown, Georgy, 3Sum, SatNav, 69, Beefy, Only Here, Debbie, Adam, Georgia, Robert, Soapy, Palmolive, Melon Picker, Wet Johnny, Manopause, Erection, Forrest, Manpig, BroadS, SM Ellie, I-Poo'd, Coldtits, Bobby Woll, Wigwam, Big End, Well Hopped, Ding Dong, Wetfart, Fishbait, Slip on Me, Small Fry, BB, Able with late arrivals Pan Fart & Bush Baby 38

Salute the Grand Master we could not as he had unfortunately left his staff of office in the hallway and indeedy, it wasn't quite the same without the brandishing..
.
Beefy was anxious to get the show on the road as the pub had an earlier than usual cut-off point for the hash grub. The hash trail menu was exotic: Three L/S splits and wait for it - TWO walkers' routes being mark-ed W1 and W2. In the words of old Harry 'You've never had it so good.'

Rock 'n' stroll time and into the depths of Yarner wood we surged with Cruella sniggers as the Bat failed to operate the first gate.  The first check was within a hundred yards and Manopause chose correctly and a nice little lead was opened up on the rest of the pack.

Wet Johnny was a revelation since having the turbo fitted* and was the FRB of the night, galloping clear and only caught up with at the checks - cleverly designed by the hare to put a lid on such an eventuality.

It was déjà vu from last week as Big End/Ned and Well Hopped loom-ed large in the wing mirrors but there were other hounds loose in the calaboose... A jingle of bells could only mean that Feagle, Brock and Ding Dong were closing fast.  Ding Dong confirmed that her stitches were out following a tumble in one of her canine-cross events and I pulled over to let the pro team past.

The inevitable drama unfolded and on a long descent the Bat saw Ding Dong and team hesitate. 'Have you seen any marks?' 'No' replied the batty Bat, 'I wuz following you!'  A procession of Hi ho, hi ho, it's off to work we go lights appeared, 'Anything BB?' enquired Manopause but the longs were also suspicious of the absence of marks and turned back. 'I'll sound my horn if we're on...' echoed back to the retreating longs and that was the last time they ever saw the Bat again.... sigh

II wasn't the only one that missed the glorious secluded hut stop where cider or lemonade and fruit and nut flapjacks were on offer in a delightful fairy light lit hut in the middle of nowhere as Wet Johnny must have been going too fast and overshot the magical refreshment stop.

A few snippets of gossip were passed on at the pub:  Wiggers had a head torch failure and wandered lonely as the wispish clouds above but got back safely and apparently a certain hasher led a large group of walkers astray - der rottenführer strikes again - you failed to mention this outrage Bobby, I vunder vy?  Big End was slightly perplexed that Manpig and Forrest had got in front of him and Well Hopped as they hadn't overtaken and the rumour going round was that perhaps they had accidentally (Manpig and Forrest not short cutters of course!) been sidetracked through one of the walkers' trails.

Following Bobby Woll's Panzer in my scout car, we managed to find the last spaces in the steep car park above the Bell Inn. Warm and welcoming was the Bell and the good news was the price of the vital beer - £3.70 for Legend and Doom! a full 40p cheaper than the week before, whoa! Our congenial host and landlord Owen made us very welcome and there were no queues at the bar that I could see and he was happy that we had a good time.  Let's put the Bell on our list of hash-friendly venues for Bovey.

AWARDS
WET JOHNNY had the Hashit shirt for going back along the walkers' trail to look for fellow Penners, Manopause & Erection - WJ's explanation not being accepted by Melon Picker.
BIG END received the Bat hat from Forrest who claimed that he had saved his bacon by calling him back on trail.
BUSH BABY was aghast at being awarded the Horsey horseface hat for arriving late with Pan Fart and getting lost on the short (thanks Wiggers, a close call as WJ was also my choice and I didn't have a Plan B!)
SLIP ON ME received her 200 Badge to finish the fun.

*Puts it all down to the weight loss - and perhaps a few 6 milers.

POSTSCRIPT
Beefy put his heart and soul into the evening and what a success it turned out to be. Everyone loved the trail and the pub, well done!

POST POSTSCRIPT
I am relieved that no one (apart from the lady who came out of her house to see why I had run past four times) witnessed my most unfortunate demise, I shall not elaborate. I stayed behind to chat to Owen and the locals and they thought that someone wearing a bat on his head and harlequin chef's trousers was quite normal. By the way, a returning local, now living in Nova Scotia, recalled many hashers of old, including Biggles and Soapy - a small world, isn't it...

ON ON to next week and the Churston Court Inn, Churston Ferrers, (TQ5 0JE,) with Hares U-Bend & Manpig

WET JOHNNY BEATS THE SABOTEUR & WINFIELD'S NEARLY FORGOTTEN BIRTHDAY NIGHT

Run #1822 Monday 25th November from the Dartmouth Inn with Wet Johnny

Forlornly did the (very) few seek the ramblings last week of Him who shall not be nam-ed. Indeed, the Rottenführer* himself scoured the lists of MIA musing that the Bat had been downed.. but it is just how you feared, Oh Dearly Hoped I Really had Gone, I am still here (for the beer) and at great cost to my insanity [Shirley sic] shall attempt to tell the story of Wet Johnny's ultimately triumphant trail.

Are you sitting comfortably? Then I shall begin the hash beguine..

A splendid turnout which Teapot called at 46 (more realistically Winfield's total of 49) but lackaday, I can only recall these brave souls: GM Shitfaced, Winfield, Teapot, Wet Johnny, Erection, Manopause, Beefy, Slip on Me, Only Here, Debbie, Georgia, Adam, Robert, Chris, Soapy, Melon Picker, U Bend, Piddler, Bobby Woll, Wigwam, Rambo, Doris, Polyfella, Pan Fart, Bush Baby, Fishbait, Small Fry, Big End, Well Hopped, Hotlips, Zoot, Manpig, T Humper, I-Poo'd, Just Cummin', GaGa4it, Archangel, BB, Piltdown, Georgy, SM Ellie, BroadS, SatNav, Wetfart, Coldtits, (45)

The usual mild pandemonium and childish chaos were prevalent at the circle and I was shushed by Piddler who was in turn counter shushed by the belligerent Bat for continuing to ramble... sigh
Fleeting snippets of info drifted back to the good old boys and 3 long/short splits and 'I've still got to lay the last bit of the long' were discerned before the motley cavalcade was dispersed onto the historic Plains of Totnes.

Warrior Wiggsy led us over the bridge and to the first L/S split: Longs en routey for Longmarsh nature reserve along the banks of the Dart with the shorts veering off to avoid the scenic and muddy joys.

First to pass was a serene Beefy who drifted past never to be sighted again - never fear, I may be back soon Beefy. How soon? After the mon-soon. No? Well...

Polyfella was next with his characteristic loping gait, but a combination of inappropriate shoes (know the feeling) and his exertions in Sunday's Bicton Blister 10 miler reduced the revs on this dour stayer.
Shortly thereafter and the Bat sensed the presence of Big End, Well Hopped and of course that athletic hound Ned. I thought I would regale them with a tall story from my prehistoric past - not realising that Polyfella - he of the Horsey horseface hat - had overheard... sigh.

Completing the scenic and luvverly flat loop, the longs arriv-ed back from whence they had Shirley come and the sorely afflicted One looked for the exit. Oh Disaster, thy name is Shirley My Watch Failed to Start and the screech of rage echoed down the Dart.

I turned to see the lads approaching and what the heck, I decided to have one last burst on my fiercely burning banjo. A quick natter with Manpig and Manopause and we shouted back to Erection to get a wiggle on.

It was such a shame that I could not continue as the tarmac was so inviting but discretion was Shirley the best option and I waved a tearful goodbye to the lads with a last instruction to see if anything noteworthy occurred as I was the proud holder (and wearer) of the Hashit Pillock shirt (remarkably still with Grizzly number attached). I limped back with black smoke pouring from the engine to the sanctuary of the pub and some say the real reason for hashing...

First back to the pub - another dubious footnote to my HCV** and an empty bar, luxury indeedy and the bonus was the opportunity to down a pint of Proper Job before it ran out. The now almost de rigueur £4.10 a pint price tag applied though we all know where it is still far cheaper, don't we hashers***? But never mind, the Dartmouth Inn remains hash friendly and the hash menu was a good 'un.

Not too long to wait as the shorts and walking crew percolated in and a chance to chat with the newbies, Robert, Georgia and Adam, brought along, I think, by Only Here and Debbie (her second time). That young man Robert, who some might have questioned his ability to get round had done just that - completing the two mile challenge for the walkers. And that is quite an effort for some hashers - an achievement not to be belittled Shirley.

Just Cummin' was back (welcome!) and assured that the highly improper old Dickhead Hat was safe and would shortly be returning and Slip on Me confirmed she was getting better. Such was the madding circle throng, I had failed to spot BroadS and thought he had come along just for the beer but who had in fact completed the long.

Desperately seeking candidates for the shirt, I had to rely on dubious hearsay but the 'story' of Melon Picker going down like a 'sack of spuds' was compelling (thanks Piddler & U Bend) and I had to go for it.

Winfield's birthday - actually on the Monday - was quite a well kept secret and RA Manpig and Teapot had to be informed to take the celebratory action. Happy birthday Dad!
*Bobby Woll of course.

**HCV: Hashing curriculum vitae!
***This is an unpaid advertisement for the Park Inn at Kingskerswell.

POSTSCRIPT
Wet Johnny did EVER so well, didn't he just! A solo hare (5 stars anyway) but had been sorely hampered with that most heinous of crimes - SABOTAGE. It really is so disheartening to discover that your trail marks have been obliterated but on the positive side, WJ fortunately had the opportunity to re-lay. He 'live' laid the last section to make sure that it would be there and all got safely round. A Magnificent Seven mile long, a three plus mile short AND a two mile walkers' trail - what an effort, thank you Wet Johnny.

WINFIELD'S Memories from # 1822 Mon 25th Nov.!

At The Dartmouth Inn Totnes where a pack of 46 plus 3 virgins assembled with Hare: Wet Johnny, who had laid a differing trail this week.(not so much mud!). Sweets were quickly devoured by the pack before heading off over the river Dart "On right" down stream for a 3+ ml short, into the new Bridgetown estate. Here on new territory, following a well marked trail up and up, on paths, steps, grassy banks avoiding a little mud! in the new development, before winding back down to the river, with a final burst of pace from one bridge to the other and On Home!

Awards from the evening were presented by a Movember bearing Manpig to....
FISHBAIT for finally reaching her 50Runs badge, and not going to waste a drop!
BLUEBIRD an ill person! who reminded us he was once Devon Junior Cross Country Champion in 1969!!
MELON PICKER who was seen to fall over on trail by some ?? but cannot remember doing this ?
WINFIELD another Birthday DD song on reaching... (who wrote 82 on my pad!!)
WET JOHNNY finally, alighted the stairs in style, to receive his reward for a great trail and evening. Well done!

On-On to next week at the Middle CP Trendlebere Down, on the Manaton Road from Bovey.(nearest post code TQ13 9LJ) OD The Bell Bovey nearest CP (TQ13 9HE) Hare:- Beefy

Memories from # 1822 Mon 25th Nov.!

...and the Awards were presented to.....
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Down down Awards Trail 1821 at The Old Inn

Down down Awards at The Old Inn Preston

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Memories from Trail #1821

On 18th November at The Old Manor, Preston. 
 
With Hare:Bobbiball & Team! A great testing trail, which led us from a well lit Preston up & up into the mud and darkness of Occombe Valley Woods. Here the "commando" style test began, with L/S and Walkers all choosing their preferred options. The Walkers were now faced with a steep mudslide down into the dark valley, while the Long headed on towards Scadson Woods and the Short weaved their way along the upper footpath dodging branches while trying to keep balance along a treacherous trail. Fortunately after a soaking in the steam we emerged thankfully into civilisation with streetlights helping us find Bobbi's SS. Here a sip or two of Port Sherry etc revived us, before finally descending back down through Shorton Valley to the comfort of The Old Manor with its welcoming drinks & buffet. 
 
PS Doris and Twinkle-toes having avoided the mudslide, did eventually thankfully, find their way Home much later. 
 
Offenders from this epic escapade were :-
Pisswell for being late to park again!
Pollyfella took the horse head hat, for his cackling laugh as he overtook the Long.
Bluebird a blinding vision! as he shows off his healthy body, after taking eye-drops to cure his vertigo! ??
Wet Johnny, finally presented with his 200Runs badge! still in summer gear!
Well done Bobbiball & Co. a great trail and evening.
 
On to next week Mon 25th November at The Dartmouth Inn Totnes TQ9 5EL, with Hare: Wet Johnny!

# 1820 from The Cridford Inn Trusham

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On trail across that marshy meadow in the moonlight.
 The Offenders from the evening were.....
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"Slip sliding away" on Trail #1820 Mon 11th Nov from The Cridford Inn Trusham with Hare Forrest Stump.

A massive Fireworks display had been planned, but after the heavy rain everywhere off road was very treacherous.
 
Forrest devised an excellent testing trail keeping the thirty three Hashers almost together throughout.Only the neighbour in who's entrance a late Pisswell had parked was upset, but she managed to escape before her DD! 
 
In a bright nearly full moon we followed his hard to spot wet sawdust trail around the village, up to the Church,with a cunning " back check" leading around Churchyard followed by a W split for some.
The more determined headed on into the slippery woodland with many screams and curses arising on trail, as the pack headed along to reach an open meadow, but this was now fast becoming deep marshland across the center.
 
At Bramble Bridge we escaped back onto flooded tarmac followed by a good testing run uphill to Trusham Cross and Forrest's Drinks stop with a reviving cider? it was now another mile run in to the On Home.
 
A warm welcome awaited us in the Cridford Inn with Forrest's Road Kill Stew in big demand for a donation to charity.
 
Offenders from the evening now received their rewards!.
 
Manpig the bleeder, another nose bleed?
Well Hopped asked which animals were in that stew!
Wet Johnny who hitch hiked his way to the Hash again.
Forrest Stump for that awful muddy excellent trail. A great evening well done!
 
On to next week at The Old Manor Preston Paignton TQ3 2QZ with Hare:Bobbiball

#1819 at Stokeinteignhead


A Down Down for S.M.Ellie, Broken Man rests in a suitable place?
 The Sparkler extravaganza before we run in the rain!


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MORE MONSOON MAYHEM: WIGGSER & THE LEGENDARY BOBBY WOLL SUPPORT THE MANIAC AT LARGE

Run #1819 Monday 4th November from the Church House Inn at Stokeinteignhead with Bluebird and friends
Come on, singalong with me - you know you want to:

Aches and pains, I've had a few But then again, too few to mention I laid what I had to do And saw it through without precipitation

I planned each charted trail Each careful blob along the byway And more, much more than this I laid it my way

Yes, there were times, I'm sure you knew When I bit off more than the longs could chew But through it all, when there was doubt I laid it down and spread the checks about I laid it all and I stood tall And laid it my way

Didulikethat? No? Well...

Oh Dearly Delirious, how can I relate the saga (some Shirley wish I couldn't) of the trail and the tormented nights worrying that I might fail...

I'll keep it as brief as I can as I know you have people to see and places to visit as the world spins giddily onwards to eventual oblivion - yes, I am still recovering from the Otter.

The rain fell relentlessly throughout the week as did my spirits and only on Sunday did it blessedly cease for me to venture out with the sack of cat litter - flour a no no as more rain forecast overnight.

I kept on trucking until the cat litter ran out and on consulting the Strava realised I might have over tweaked the long - 7.7 miles being the readout.  The more likely 3 and a bit miles for the short was laid Monday afternoon and I was finished - in more ways than one, Oh Dearly Clearly out of Condition.

The cavalry was summoned and cometh 6 pm the Good ol' Boys arriv-ed for the pep talk.  Long suffering buddies Wiggsy and the legendary Bobby Woll were given details of the upcoming debacle to be and the roles they would play.  Wiggers would lead the shorts and Bobby would make it up as he went for the walkers - more on that later..

7 pm and the heavens opened up with a hefty chorus of raining cats and dogs, prompting 69 to revise his sweepstake forecast of numbers to 25. Bobby went 32 and wily Wiggers 36 but Teapot called it at 42:

Fallen Woman, Broken Man (Guest of Honour and welcomed by all), 3Sum. SatNav, Teapot, Winfield, Rambo, Doris, GM, Piltdown, Bobby, Wigwam, Manpig, Pan Fart, Bush Baby, Melon Picker, Soapy, Palmolive, Manopause, Erection, Fukarwi, Big End, Well Hopped, Hornie, Pork Torpedo, 69, BB, Chris, Fish Bait, Small Fry, Beefy, SM Ellie, Zorro, Twinkletoes,  Zoot, Hotlips, Able, I-Poo'd, Hagen Daz, Budgie Smuggler, 40 recalled so only two missing.

The sparklers (four years old and reluctant to ignite) eventually were lit despite running interference from Pork Torpedo blowing out the lighter and I retired into the pub to give Simon the numbers for grub (14) leaving Wiggy to front the show.

Wagons roll, shorts exited stage left while the longs legged it right.

The long was 6.4 and a 'super' long loop would bring it up to the Magnificent 7.7 though I doubted few would take up the offer.

The hip stood up for all of a hundred yards, allowing me to get the longs on trail and then it was back to the chariot to fill in a few gaps on the 'Super Long' section.
I returned to the point of combat or 'make your mind up' junction behind sleepy Netherton and awaited the survivors. I didn't have to wait long as head torches appeared and there were the lads: Manpig, Fukarwi, Manopause and Erection.  The huddle had a quick conflab and it was Fukarwi egging them on with a jolly 'Come on lads, are you up for it?' Manpig and Manopause Shirley were and though Erection looked a little dubious, he wasn't going to be a lone hasher crying in the wilderness and off they jolly well sallied - brave pioneers on a Super Long...sigh.
Not far behind, Big End and Well Hopped arrived with Ned barking loudly at the apparition suddenly emerging from the hedge. Most reluctantly they demurred as the clock may have beaten them and any chance for a meal and they turned for the tarmac.
That left the question of Beefy. Where was he?  Shirley he would have been up front and he couldn't have gone astray - a hasher like him. Slowly I turned and there was a head torch far far away on the crest of the hill above Milber. Yes, it was Beefy and he must have gone through before I got into position AND not heard the vital info of the missing marks.
High up on the hill, Beefy, weaving from side to side and about to clear away to Newton Abbot, heard a cry of 'ON ONNNNN' perhaps close by and wheeled his snorting steed.
Far below, lights were turned on in the not now sleepy hamlet of Netherton (they go to bed early out there) as a maniac was clearly at large..
The Super loop was more taxing (and difficult to find) than I had calculated and I scrambled the chariot to look for them. Finding no trace, I returned, fearing that I had consigned them to their doom, but wait, what do I see, are they running back to me? Yes they're running back to me, Oh oh, Pretty hashers... No? Well please yourselves then.
In pouring rain, the gladiators fought their way home, every one a hero and I drove alongside, giving words of encouragement: 'If you don't get a move on, it'll be last orders!'  Sigh...
But my lads had only done it - Magnificently triumphing over a savage 7.7 miler and the drinks were on Bluebird back at the bar.  Olé conquistadors all!
Wiggy reported no casualties or drama on the safe shorts though Chris reported that it was a tight squeeze through the blocked off climb from Newton Hill to the Ridge road (west).
All home safe and sound, that's all a hare can ask for.
Simon gave me the veggie option of the Goats cheese tart and salad and what a bargain that was for a fiver! Home made by Karen, the usual menu price was £10.95 and I have to tell you that it was the best meal I've had for many a year - Fallen Woman remarked that it looked good and it tasted even better. Whoa!
The Monday night bell ringers arrival had the bar crowded and there were quite a few refugee Maidencombers there as the Thatched Tavern remains closed.

WINFIELD'S VIEW

Soggy Memories from trail 1819!, Mon 4th Nov. from The Church House Inn, Stokeinteignhead, with Hare:Bluebird.


Another wet Monday! but a great turnout for the trail anyway, starting with a Sparkler extravaganza at our Circle. Then heading off into the rain and floods around Stokeinteignhead. On-On left Short, On right Longs on a 7.7miler, we all headed into the darkness.The flooded short 3+Mile! trail led us to Rocombe followed by a gasping uphill climb from No Mans Land. This trail had it a muddy slippery track, blocked by farmers coppiced branches to crawl under before we finally emerged into Combeinteignhead with a great leg stretching run back, getting us hotter under all the waterproof gear, leading us into Stoke.
The Sparklers did eventually light and Broken Man who was pleased to be back, found himself an appropriate seat by the fire!

The DD Awards from this weeks adventures were presented by Manpig to....
S.M.Ellie for continually choosing the wrong trail
Beefy no marks but he found a trail!
Broken Man welcomed back from his op! and still drinking well
Shitfaced who received his well deserved 100Runs Badge at last!

Well done to Bluebird a great evening in-spite of the rain!

POSTSCRIPT
In all honesty, I couldn't have managed without Wiggy and Bob, thanks lads. Remember Bobby and the walkers? Able reported that they had a great time and completed about two miles. Able even managed to make Teapot complete for a welcome change. Doris is quietly persuasive and I suppose it was about time I contributed a trail. Solo hares have my greatest admiration and respect. Thank you and good night.

On-On to next week to The Cridford Inn Trusham (TQ13 0NR) A Fireworks trail please bring extras. Food & Drink back at The Cridford with Hare: Forrest Stump

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NEW MISMANAGEMENT & CONTACT TELS.

Grand Master Shitfaced mobile 07973 682201
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On Sec Piltdown Man mobile 07773038756
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HASH SUBS

HASH SUBS £25 and for your assistance you can now use the BACS payment system to pay please.
Details as follows.... Hash Account number 69068186 Sort code 55-70-01 NOTE you must use your HASH NAME as a reference. Many thanks Three-Some & Satnav

JESSE'S DD FROM THE TALLY HO!

EXPLANATION OF ARCHIVE TVH3 SITES

GREATHASHGOD: A dedicated site (presently mothballed and serves as archive content only) with all TVH3 content. Mostly photos from each Monday's hash but also some video clips. Named after our Life President Pottsie.

PRECONDEROTOUS: Containing the entire archive of TVH3 of some 1000 vid clips and over 5000 posts and photos. Started on November 11th 2007, the site is active with Bluebird's personal content but the archive content is fascinating and preserved, well worth a look.

Fukarwi

Fukarwi

REARENDER

REARENDER

TEAPOT

TEAPOT

SOAPY

SOAPY

MOULDY DICK

MOULDY DICK

MELONPICKER

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FALLEN WOMAN

FALLEN WOMAN

DORIS

DORIS

BROKEN MAN

BROKEN MAN

ARCHANGEL

ARCHANGEL

ABLE SEMEN

ABLE SEMEN

Previously unreleased clip - Vicky's naming from the Sea Trout

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