CIRCLE
Teapot announced that 48 fair-weather hashers had turned out to enjoy the hottest day of the year so far and also to risk the challenges of parking in Cridford….the narrowest village in Christendom. But no need to worry. The Cridford Inn does not, as a rule, open on Mondays. Forest had arranged a special hash-only opening. The resulting hash-only parking meant that only hashers would be blocked-in and no civilians would be harmed.
RA Piltdown Man welcomed some new, and old faces. Winfield’s grandson, Point Four was welcomed as a returnee. He was last seen as a 3-week old at Teign Valley’s 123 weekend from Moretonhampstead nearly ten years ago.
Local boy Trucker also graced us with his presence as did Roger the Cabin Boy who was last into the car park. There were a couple of new faces brought along by the Ipplepen contingent…apologies, I didn’t get their names as I had no idea that I’d be doing the Words. Other rare faces comprised PiPi (Mavis’s god-daughter), Rent Boy (temporarily back from Spain/France), Horny and Pork Torpedo.
Next it was pre-run question time from Piltdown Man. Two questions this week:
1) Who’s birthday hash is it?….clue – he is now a retiree. I think most knew the answer to that one. It was Rambo & everyone was glad to see him back
2) Which song is currently top of the charts?
Apparently there had been complaints that Piltdown’s free-beer questions had previously favoured older, male members of the Hash. Well, this question favoured no-one as nobody had the faintest idea….not even the young Harriets from Kingskerswell. Back to older male-focused questions methinks.
Over to the Hare. Forest advised that the trail had been laid in sawdust. “About 5 or 6 miles for the longs. If you want a short, stay in the car park. There should be no angry farmers this time…but not guaranteed”. Forest also advised that the pub had opened especially for us. They had put on sandwiches for 35 at £3-a-head (money in a pot); first come, first served. And with that, we were off.
RUN
Left out of the car park to the first check. Poacher leading the way. Right, up a public footpath to a long-short split. Shorts right, longs left. The longs comprised Poacher, Bluebird, Man-Pig, Wet Johnny, Fukarewe, Manopause, Erector, Deep Seaman & the newby from Ipplepen (Jay). The longs took a footpath uphill and through woods towards Bramble Bridge before looping back into the village through the scrap yard and past the church. Here we caught up with the last of the shorts comprising Rambo, Doris, Able Seaman, Fallen Woman, Broken Man and Teapot. Turn right in the centre of the village then left up a footpath and into the field of emptiness.
Well, it was certainly empty of flour! 48 clueless hashers spent 20 minutes running around in circles (well, a square really) till the Hare pointed us in the right direction; through a field of cows-in-calf and down the valley towards Rydon. Another long-short split with the shorts on the left side of the valley and longs on the right. We could see the shorts ahead and their shouting of “On-On” flushed out 3 deer into a field about 400 yards ahead of us…lovely to see.
After the paucity of sawdust in the field we were now blessed with blobs of flour every 10 feet as we descended through the woods to the old railway line where we joined up with the shorts. Wigwam arrived at a check just as it was kicked out. Then a 400 yard canter to the River Teign and the fruit stop….always healthy scran on Forest’s trails.
Replenished, it was carry on down the railway and past a flooded quarry. Up a steep path, through holly and brambles, to access the view point overlooking the quarry…beautiful. Next it was the last of the long-short splits. Mouldy Dick leading the shorts to the right and onto Teign Lane. The longs went left and into new, unhashed, territory. Up a track, through a plantation of young oaks, down through a wood to a stream and a very dodgy three-log bridge with a piece of string as a handrail….and then we were lost….no marks at all (later Forest admitted that he had run out of flour at this stage but we should have known where we were so it was alright!). Fortunately, we caught sight of Soapy & Melon Picker, not too far away, on the shorts. The four remaining longs then rejoined the shorts for a short stroll back to the Cridford Inn.
DOWN-DOWNS
Mouldy Dick was the RA for the evening. He started by asking all gathered to thank the pub for:
1) Opening for us
2) The food
3) The down-downs
4) The stripper (OK….I made this bit up)
Mouldy then enquired what the hash thought of the trail before moving to the naming and shaming of the evening’s sinners. In the rush he completely forgot to award a down-down to the hare. First of the awards was the Hash-shit shirt. Slobbery-Dog gave it to Bluebird for being a pillock….great observation that girl. Next was Wet Johnny. Being the gentleman that he is, he didn’t want to circulate with an odour of “man” about him. He, therefore, washed thoroughly behind his car before joining the happy throng. However, he was not entirely hidden from view whilst doing his ablutions. Poor Able Seaman got a full view of his naked rear end. In fairness, Able did spend 10 minutes, changing her seat three-times in order to get the best vantage point! Hence, a down-down for Wet Johnny for exposing his backside. However, Able’s prudence and political correctness was short-lived. Apparently someone had been whingeing on trail, “ I haven’t had my 808th run badge yet!” Yes, readers, you read it correctly. Not 800th but 808th ! The identity of the innumerate whinger? Able Seaman.
Finally, it was all the right notes, but not necessarily in the right order, for Rambo’s birthday. Soapy had baked a lovely, fresh birthday cake to which nearly all partook.
All-in-all a great evening and a great run…just a shame that the hare didn’t get his down-down.
On-On to next week – Dartmouth Inn, Totnes for wet Johnny’s run.
Man-Pig
