Monday 10th September #1759 From the Wellington Inn, Ipplepen with Hares: Erection & Roxanne.
The star attraction was undoubtedly the Virgin Lay by Roxanne & Erection. A daunting task lay [sic] ahead and the novices had prepared thoroughly. Four days of poring over Google maps and a staggered double lay on Sunday and Monday demonstrated the care taken by the local lads. So, how did they do? Read on and see...
The ample car park behind the pub soon filled up with the somewhat shredded hash caravan which had negotiated the extensive roadworks en route. It was good to see old buddy and Ash Hasher Zorro at the circle. Three trails had been laid to accommodate all tastes and abilities. The short was estimated at 3.5 miles and the long 6 - 6.5 miles which prompted oohs from the gallery. The mention of a hash-pleasing cider & sweetie stop elicited an even more enthusiastic response. Thirty eight hashers true were counted out through the narrow entrance with Erection, already on trail, making thirty nine.
Thirty nine hashers, each with a tale to tell of the evening. Poacher, as is his wont, rapidly disappeared from view and was not seen again until inside the pub. Beefy and Dutch Rudder pioneered the search party for marks with Manopause, Wet Johnny, Forest and Robin* in close attendance.
Unfortunately, tracking the sharp end, our party soon distanced the rest of the longs which ultimately caused a problem or two for some of us - more on that later.
Unfortunately, tracking the sharp end, our party soon distanced the rest of the longs which ultimately caused a problem or two for some of us - more on that later.
Back down the trail and Winfield had his own story to tell:
'I was following near the tail end of the pack concentrating on not trying to run for too long on my improving knee condition. We left Ipplepen, headed to Orley Common and saw the Walkers' mark and then encountered a L/S mark which some thought was a Split! On On cautiously towards Torbryan as very few marks and met Erection who directed us on to the village. Marks led us off road to the Old Rectory where the usual loud barking dog was waiting! On On off road though a field to lane with L/S split. This group, headed On Short except for Archangel who chose the Long! At Wrenwell Cross a Check and after searching a farmyard and being told that it was private land, we found the footpath beside it which let to the excellent Cider/Sweet stop.'
'I was following near the tail end of the pack concentrating on not trying to run for too long on my improving knee condition. We left Ipplepen, headed to Orley Common and saw the Walkers' mark and then encountered a L/S mark which some thought was a Split! On On cautiously towards Torbryan as very few marks and met Erection who directed us on to the village. Marks led us off road to the Old Rectory where the usual loud barking dog was waiting! On On off road though a field to lane with L/S split. This group, headed On Short except for Archangel who chose the Long! At Wrenwell Cross a Check and after searching a farmyard and being told that it was private land, we found the footpath beside it which let to the excellent Cider/Sweet stop.'
Meanwhile, with the advance party of longs, I had been forced to stop with severe Achilles tendon problems. Forest & Robin, complete with hounds blurred into the fading light and looking back I espied SM Ellie similarly isolated after her companions had opted for the short trail. Onto tarmac, I decided to risk it (and go as a biscuit) and made contact again with 'Robin de Forest' just as we veered off road and up a long, heavily wooded path which we all 'enjoyed' immensely.
Eventually, we reached the outskirts of Denbury and the defining (for us anyway) moment of the trail. A large arrow had been 'got at' and there was no way of telling the direction. We continued straight on and came upon the memorial crossroads and turned right and down to the Union Inn. It was make our minds up now, whether to search for the trail or cut our losses and get back to Ipplepen and the beer. By now I was limping heavily so we chose the latter course of action. I was tasked with going into the Union and asking for directions as Forest had cunningly stated that 'They won't listen to a one-legged man!' 'But they'll think I'm an idiot!' I countered - so no contest..
Little did we realise that, only a few hundred yards away, down the lane from the Union Inn, the cider/sweetie stop was in full fling - over to Winfield to resume his tale:
'I tried to take a posing pic of Satnav drinking from the cider bottle, but as the top was loose, she poured it down her t-shirt! On On again in the gathering gloom we plodded, down Beech Trees Lane which led us up through Clennonpark wood. Torches were needed now and eventually we finally found ourselves back in Ipplepen and the On-Home.'
A half-sozzled Union Inn local imparted wisdom to the bedraggled Bird: 'It be about two mile, as the crow flies, keep bearing to your right mind...' Sound advice indeedy but for two things - we weren't crows and we definitely were not in our right minds...
A quarter of an hour later and the signage (probably of WW2 vintage designed to confuse) indicated that we had gone all of a quarter of a mile - and that after 'legging' it. The orange illuminated church tower of St Andrew revealed itself to be but an illusion on the horizon as it never seemed to get closer, prompting Forest to gasp 'We're caught in a time warp, we'll never get home!'
But of course we did, and upon checking the GPS, saw we had covered virtually the same distance as the proper trail - 6.1 miles.
Warm and welcoming was the Wellington Inn and they had laid on bangers & chips in a basket at £2.50 a throw for the hash though the Dad's Army U Boat commander's quote did spring to mind when I saw the chips: 'I vant mine crisp unt light brown...' But never mind, there was excellent feedback for the trail and I wish that the Robin de Forest band of Merry hashers could have made the cider stop and second half of the trail. Roxanne & Erection's trail lived up to the expectations and our thanks to them for the evening. Thanks lads, I had a great time.
THE AWARDS FROM "VIRGIN HASH" No 1759
First presentation to...
ROXANNE & ERECTION for the trail of two halves but it all worked!
BOBBIBALL (came all the way to the pub on his 'moto' cycle) something unrelated about his camper van!
FALLEN WOMAN who was following a cigarette paper trail?
POACHER and FORREST STUMP who had the combined birthday song sung in the usual harmonious way!
First presentation to...
ROXANNE & ERECTION for the trail of two halves but it all worked!
BOBBIBALL (came all the way to the pub on his 'moto' cycle) something unrelated about his camper van!
FALLEN WOMAN who was following a cigarette paper trail?
POACHER and FORREST STUMP who had the combined birthday song sung in the usual harmonious way!
*There has to be some connection with (Sherwood) Forest and Robin (Hood) but it's got me stumped so far - No? Well please yourselves then.
ON ON to next week and Trendlebere Down ( MIDDLE CP) Dartmoor. OD Confirmed as Dolphin Inn, Bovey Tracey Hare: Beefy