A WARM WELCOME FROM TVH3

Welcome to the Teign Valley Hash House Harriers of glorious South Devon. You are guaranteed a warm welcome and a great hash experience. We are the 'Party Hash' and we run from pubs all over Torbay, Dartmoor and the Teign Valley every Monday evening at 7.15pm. Our trails are marked with flour, chalk or sawdust and take in woodland, streams, byways, bridle paths and rolling countryside. We cater for all abilities, you needn't worry about keeping up, a leisurely walk with others or a good paced run if you're fit - you choose. The run duration is anything from 30 minutes to an hour and the distance is normally between 3-6 miles depending on whether you decide to take a short or long trail. Your first run is free, so come along and give it a go! After the run hashers enjoy a drink and food in the pub. On many occasions, the pub will lay on a 'Hash Menu', food specially for hashers.

WHAT TO EXPECT AT YOUR FIRST HASH

Starts soon after 7:15 pm each Monday.
The Grandmaster will gather the hash together in a circle and welcome Virgins & Visitors to TVH3 and inform the group of pertinent news or upcoming events.
Hares will announce details or the trail, number of long and short splits and regroups.

Down-Downs - sometimes at the circle but usually in the pub after the run. Hashers and harriets (lady hashers) have a half pint and under age hashers have a soft drink or water. If you are driving, just ask the RA for water.

A Down-Down is a means of punishing, rewarding, or merely recognizing an individual for any action or behavior. Once awarded, the downdown must be drunk without pause, otherwise the RA may take action!

Individuals may be recognized for outstanding service, or for their status as a visitor or newcomer.

Down-Downs also serve as punishment for misdemeanours real, imagined, or blatantly made up.

Such transgressions may include: wearing new shoes, pointing with a finger, or the use of real names rather than hash names.

Hash Names

The use of real names (nerd name) during an event is discouraged, and members are typically given a new "hash name," usually in deference to a particularly notorious escapade, a personality trait, or their physical appearance.

Members are named after attending the hash on several occasions or if something noteworthy occurs to prompt a naming.

Other hashers may share stories or observations about the individual, with the final name being chosen by general consensus from all suggestions put forward by the hash.

NEWCOMERS TO THE HASH
Completely new to hashing? Don't know what to expect? Worried, shy or nervous? You needn't be as all newcomers or virgins as they are known, will receive a warm welcome. When the hashers are called to make a circle - about 7:15 pm each Monday, the Grand Master will welcome all hashers and after various notices about forthcoming events etc are dealt with, he will ask if there are any visitors from other hashes or virgins present. You will be asked to come forward and be introduced to the hash. A tip to remember, don't wear new trainers as these are frowned upon by the RA (Religious Advisor) and will incur a sprinkling of flour over them. That's all there is to it and you can then step back and enjoy the run and the social get together after in the On Down (the pub). Whatever your pace, there are certain to be others who will keep you company along the trail. Walk, jog or run - it's up to you.
Hashing is all about making friends and having fun, so just turn up any Monday and have a go.

Wednesday 30 January 2019

WETFART'S THOOSAND* RUN BADGE, IT'S ALL GREEK TO FUKARWI & FROM TRIBUTE TO TRIBUTARY

Run # 1779 Monday 28th January from the Court Farm Inn at Abbotskerswell with Hares: Only Here/Beer & Shitfaced

Commander RoUbeN Trotsky screamed in delight! 'I have him now, the Bobby Woll is mine!' Yes, it was true, Bobby had indeed been caught with his pants down outside his Panzer and would have to make a run for it. Hashing tonight would Shirley have to be put on hold....**

Ah well, back to reality my little Rottweilers. Once a regular venue for TVH, the Court Farm Inn had subsequently been neglected and I had carefully looked at the map before setting off. However, I still managed to get lost and had a slight misunderstanding with Manpig's juggernaut as we both homed in on the car park.

Another unlit and dark expanse, though larger than the Goose's dungeon edition, the Court Farm's CP soon filled to overflowing (an unfortunate term which would be revisited later in the pub).

A goodly turnout and forty two was the eventual total though not sure if all ran:

Paraprick with dogs, Ding Dong with Feagle & Brock, Fukarwi, Manpig, Ipplepenners Roxanne, Alicia + one, Manopause, Wet Johnny and Erection, Parkies T Humper & Spud, I-Poo'd, Shitfaced and Fag Ash Lil, Coldtits, All the Way, Woof Woof, Rise N Shine, virgins (?) Hugo and Ben, Doris, Rambo, Wetfart, Winfield, Piltdown, Georgy P, Teapot, Wide Receiver (welcome back old son), Wiggy , Ena, SM Ellie, Will (to be named), Twin Buffers, Hotlips, Zoot, SatNav, Forrest, Soapy & Melon Picker, Only Here, Beefy and BB to name the forty two on show.

Good to see young Wide Receiver back in the fold after illness and also Beefy back in action but sporting a rather large I Pad as no phone.

Not certain if Hugo and Ben were first timers but one thing looked likely lads - they would be able to run a bit..

Shitfaced had kindly stepped in to assist Only Here/Beer and they outlined a trail of four L/S splits before giving the pack their marching orders.

The Bird was on song this week and right from the start went like a Bat out of Hell, spearheading the pack to the first L/S split. Unfortunately, he had to be called back by Forrest after completely missing the first Long split into the playing fields - pleading he was blind as a bat...

The hares had laid an early trap and the FRBs had to fight their way back through the shorts, cursing as they did so.

Along country lane did they saunter, over stile and up rugged path they staggered, until, breasting a rise a check which would lead us to the iniquitous 'fish hook' was espied..

Wide went down the road and it wasn't clear if he actually returned but ON ON was heard up a muddy lane ahead though lights were seen toing and froing. Eventually, the consensus was to go muddy and manifold were they that crammed into the narrow lane. 'A fish hook!' cried a hasher but no number accompanied the little used (by TVH anyway) hash mark. On we pressed but marks no longer could be seen and the FRBs eventually realised they had been had big time Boris and cries of disappointment ensued - loudest (naturally) from an enraged Vampire bat lusting for the blood of the hare responsible for the outrage...***

The infamous 'fish hook' succeeded in shredding the FRB formation. When we got underway once more, there was no sign of Wide or Manpig, who were either behind us or somewhere out in front. 'Normal' service was resumed with the old firm of Fukarwi and Bat Blue tracking Beefy with Wet Johnny and Manopause close behind. Way out in front was Ben, soon to be joined by buddy Hugo who had got snagged up in 'Fish hook' lane - we just have to get those boys drinking to slow them up a bit.

After about two miles, a junction loomed large Larry and lo and behold, there was the Two Mile Oak across the Totnes road. Turning towards Newton Abbot, the longs legged it and visions of the Clock Tower and ASDA began to form afore we veered right and back to the environs of Abbotskerswell.

With a combined age of 130+ the Good Old Boys traded punches - Fukarwi getting away on the hills but pulled back on the flat with Wet Johnny at least completing the long trail this week and on the road to recovery.

Somewhere in the closing stages of the run (you have to give the hares a lot of credit for laying a good, tough, honest trail) came the shocking moment...

A few yards in front, Fukarwi stopped and gazed at a strange hash mark, marked thus: ƎꓤIM . 'You'll have to help me with this one, oh Belfry Bat, it looks like Greek lettering!' The two idiots stared at the odd lettering for a few moments until walking around it, the mark was revealed quite clearly as: WIRE. 'Fukarwi, it reads wire for gawd's sake!' An electrified fence appeared in front of the aged duo, prompting a now belligerent Bat to exclaim: 'Anyway it can't be switched on, the hare would be mad to let us pass!' Reaching out a moist, clammy hand, the Bat clasped the wire and receiving a hefty jolt was thrown onto his back! You had to have been there to see it, believe me oh you long suffering readers.. for I too suffered out there - the price to pay for being the Greatest Pillock that TVH has ever seen****.

At last the OH materialised and soon St Mary's Church could be spotted far down in the valley. A pleasing - if jarring descent and we were back in the car park with a reported 5.9 miles in the bag. Solid trail, thank you, Shitfaced and Only Here!

Inside the Court Farm Inn, a sumptuous spread was laid out for us Henry VIII style, and hashers didn't need encouragement, leaping in to feast like gannets after putting three sovs in the pot. In his eagerness, Wet Johnny upended a pint which flooded a platter. Mopping up and looking furtively about, he muttered 'Who put that pint there, Percival?'

But a far greater disaster was about to happen Harry. The beer loving Bat had just ordered a pint of Tribute and turned away having taken but a sip, Sybil. A few moments later, the pint had gone and a hue and cry (a very serious matter, losing your pint) was about to be invoked. An unnamed harriet sheepishly admitted that she had knocked the amber liquid of life over - a fact confirmed by said Tribute having been converted to a tributary the other side of the bar with the barman mopping up the deluge. A moment later and a barmaid appeared with another pint, prompting the grateful Bat to say: 'How kind, ta very much!' But bad news was swift to follow - the barman tapped the Bat on the shoulder and said 'That'll be £3.80 please!?!' NO-O-O-O-O-O WAY! I don't think that would have happened at the Park, do you lads!

The Downdowns were awarded thus:
WET FART for parking in the disabled bay and probably needed that on reaching 1000 Runs tonight!
FAG ASH LIL the party girl...sometimes a barmaid but tonight turned up in a nurses outfit!
FUKARWI who misread the sign leaving Bluebird to climb the electric fence!... now has the new Bat Hat!
Newsagent (Will, Tim) JIM...now duly anointed! for ever to be known as BROADSHIT

*Not a typo you fools - it sounds so more impressive with a Scottish accent.
**RUN TROTSky, pants down, make a RUN for it - come on do I have to spell it out for you?
***I try so hard for little or no reward.
****This is a paid advertisement by an anonymous subscriber.

ON ON to next week and that hash favourite, the Park Inn, Kingskerswell, Newton Abbot ( Shitfaced & Threesum)

WEEKLY SUBS PAYERS

It would be appreciated if those hashers that pay £1 a week when they attend rather than the £30 a year subscription could bring their one pound to the circle and pay Pisswell before the run. It is not much fun for her to chase hashers in the pub for payment. Many thanks for your cooperation. 🙂

MISMANAGEMENT UPDATED AGPU APRIL 4 2022

Grand Master Shitfaced mobile 07973 682201
Vice G M U Bend
On Sec Piltdown Man mobile 07773038756
R A Organiser Teapot
R A Manpig
R A Forrest Stump
R A Fallen Woman
Hash Cash Threesome
Hash Tax Pisswell
Trail Raiser Smellie
Haberdashery Zoot
Song Master Pork Torpedo
Social Sec Wet Johnny
Web /Web Master Bluebird

HASH SUBS 2023

This years membership, which is due now is £30 Alternatively, you can pay £1 per week when attending. Samantha Zimbler Hash cash Threesum. On line payments Account name: TEIGN VALLEY HASH House Harriers Sort Code: 55-70-01 Account number: 69068186 Reference: your hash name

TVH3 HABERDASHERY LINK

JESSE'S DD FROM THE TALLY HO!

EXPLANATION OF ARCHIVE TVH3 SITES

GREATHASHGOD: A dedicated site (presently mothballed and serves as archive content only) with all TVH3 content. Mostly photos from each Monday's hash but also some video clips. Named after our Life President Pottsie.

PRECONDEROTOUS: Containing the entire archive of TVH3 of some 1000 vid clips and over 5000 posts and photos. Started on November 11th 2007, the site is active with Bluebird's personal content but the archive content is fascinating and preserved, well worth a look.

Fukarwi

Fukarwi

REARENDER

REARENDER

TEAPOT

TEAPOT

SOAPY

SOAPY

MOULDY DICK

MOULDY DICK

MELONPICKER

MELONPICKER

FALLEN WOMAN

FALLEN WOMAN

DORIS

DORIS

BROKEN MAN

BROKEN MAN

ARCHANGEL

ARCHANGEL

ABLE SEMEN

ABLE SEMEN

Previously unreleased clip - Vicky's naming from the Sea Trout

FOR TVH3 HABERDASHERY CONTACT ZOOT

FOR TVH3 HABERDASHERY CONTACT ZOOT

SC