Run #1791 Monday 22nd April from Newtons Free House, Newton Abbot. Hares Wigwam & Bobby Kirk
The
Promised Land of a virgin OD and partial virgin trail plus a gold
plated goody bag of trail treats on Easter Monday brought the curious
and committed out in some numbers, Oh Dearly Dubious..
Thirty
six made it to the circle CP above the pub: Broken Man & Fallen
Woman, Winfield, Twin Buffers, Piltdown & Georgie P, Teapot, SatNav,
Threesum, Rambo & Doris, U Bend, Piddler, BroadS, SM Ellie, Beefy,
Polyfella, Wigwam & Bobby Kirk, 69, Shitfaced, Just Cummin' and
virgin Jazzmn, Flasher & Will, Able, Slip on Me, Fishbait &
Finlay, Manpig, Forrest & Sarah, Hotlips & Zoot, Aber. Joe and
BB.
Conspicuous by their absence were the Penners and the Polish - we missed you - well I did anyway, Oh Dearly Departed.
A
mega ambitious effort saw the fruition of Wigwam's (and forcibly
enlisted Bobby Kirk) trail with many attractions including that rare as
hen's teeth hash presentation - a spanking new OD pub: Newtons Free
House - formely the Heavitree Arms - tucked away in a not so sleepy
cul-de-sac below the main Ashburton highway.
After
Piltdown's guess how hot it was question - won by Beefy, Wigwam
launched into a lengthy and technical explanation of the intracacies of
the trail while the hash listened, mostly blank-faced and glassy-eyed.
Never mind, it was RocknRolla time and the shorts were safely shepherded
down the lane with the hares for protection, whilst the lean, ravening
longs were released from the traps onto the main Ashburton Road,
Whistling Dixie...
For
the record (and in case of legal objections later) the video revealed
the longs as: Flasher & Will, BroadS, Beefy, Aber. Joe, Polyfella, U
Bend (good lad, welcome back to the longs) and Piddler (taking a gamble
that he could survive without the ski poles) Forrest, Manpig and a
souped up Bird. Eleven warriors true and, as always, in search of
everlasting glory or at least a mention in dispatches..
The
glory part had to be put on hold, however, as scouts searched in vain
for the trail at the first check which was the de rigueur 'Give the
shorts a fair shout' loop. Several minutes later, and about to run up
the white flag already Eddy, U Bend and Piddler (I knew the boys would
come good) spotted the arrow pointing to the suburbs above the highway.
Legging
it back towards the greenery, Broken Man was on station to direct the
snorting longs up to the Easter egg expanse. Thereupon, gentle grazing
creatures were espied at various unlikely positions in the undergrowth
searching for what ultimately would prove to be highly elusive
polystyrene eggs.
There
were those that coveted the Easter treats and there were those that
Shirley did not, Oh Dearly Eggsasperated* and a vociferous FRB passes on
his apologies to the shorts who were clogging up the paths so carefree.
I am fairly sure that he didn't mean the nasty 'I hate all shorts - and
that includes you Grand Master!' the kind rejoinder being 'Thank you.'
The heat of battle can induce a red mist before some jaundiced eyes....sigh
Just
beyond the gaily searching shorts, the next carnival attraction was to
be found bench sited Yea, oh verily yea: The Cadbury's cream egg
brownie stop with Broadlands Ice Tea - Oh merriment unbounded.. 'We'll
catch you later - much later....' drifted the faint cry on the wind from
the fleeing FRBs..
A
tantalizing and teasing loop of the field below the munchers saw The
Great Escape of the longs who elatedly surged on to the inevitable
destination..
A
bootiful climb was enjoyed (BroadS muttering that he was operating at
164 bpm) up through the lush Allium ursinum before we ducked under the
wire to access the large meadow north of Bradley woods. A herd of frisky
heifers appeared and wary indeed we had to be of the galloping girls.
Fishbait and young Finlay joined our trailblazing team for a while
before we plunged into Bradley woods proper and could stretch our legs
at last.
Doing
sterling scouting service were Flasher and Will and their shouts at
each of the checks were never far away. It wasn't advisable to stop and
take photos (Beefy) at the river crossing as ground was hard to make up
now the longs were really
1, 2, 3, 4, let's hear it now:
Big wheel, keep on turning
Proud Mary, keep on burning
Rolling, rolling, rolling on a river...**
It's
a different world out there on the long and the shorts and walkers
would Shirley Shudder if they could observe the battle joined each and
every week with no quarter asked or given.
Flasher's
strava evaluation summed it up succinctly: '50% making our own tracks,
crossing barbed wire fences, crawling through bushes and a bonus river
crossing' HA! Will: 'A bit of nasty off-road.'
There
was a hasher who did manage to cover himself in glory out there - young
Polyfella, sporting yet another Honiton Hippo tee shirt, finally
outstayed many of the FRBs and joined the by now jogging super scouts as
they neared the OH marker.
A
downhill dash ensued back to the CP with about fifty odd minutes and
fourish miles recorded. A beaming Slip on Me was most enthusiastic
about the trail and all the longs readily agreed! A triumph indeedy by
the Master Hare Wiggers!
Most
of the shorts and walkers were already inside the pub and being looked
after by Jim (great name that) the barman. No, there was no ale*** on
tap but the bottled Black Sheep was just the ticket at £3.70 plus money
in the pot for sarnies and chips. No complaints.
Teapot
was seen searching for RA Manpig who was MIA along with Forrest &
Muttley. Finally, they turned up to relate the usual forlorn tale of
woe but safe and gathered in we all were for the DDs upcoming.
The
good news was that there were a few lucky finders of the poly eggs -
the not so good news was that Wiggy had left the actual choc eggs at
home and would bring them next week - never mind, Oh Dearly Eggscluded.
****
The
usual waiting period of about six hash appearances before a naming was
waived in young Finlay's case. The little lad had only hashed once
before tonight but Fishbait explained that Finlay was too excited to
wait so Small Fry it was - Beefy saving the day and averting a snide
'Master Bates' suggestion from the motley crowd.
For
the second successive week, no less than two namings and Flasher's
fellow orienteer and TBGS pupil, Will, was relieved to get away with
Runner Bean. Best of luck with the exams lads and see you back soon.
THE DOWNDOWNS
As
our 1800th Trail draws closer, Run No.1791 was from a new venue Newtons
Free House Newton Abbot with Hare Wigwam, who laid a great cunning
trail, with hidden Easter Eggs, around and through Bradley Woods.
Offenders on this night were ;-
BLUEBIRD who was spotted Short Cutting or not checking?
PILTDOWN MAN who appeared to be more on a local history trail.
SHITFACED who said he would catch up the FRB's later !!!
FINLAY son of FISH BAIT was named SMALL FRY! and...
6ft + WILL (taller than SMALL FRY even kneeing down!) was duly named RUNNER BEAN !
Really enjoyed the evening Wiggy and Bobs - cheers for your fine efforts.
* It had to be done.
** I may finally be descending into delirium, Oh Dearly Deranged.
*** They tried it for a few months but the local 'clientele' just didn't want to know.
**** I've already told you - it had to be done.
ON
ON to next week's BIG BIRTHDAY HASH from the Cridford Inn at Trusham
TQ13 0NR. 80th Birthday Broken Man (Fallen Woman & Forrest)
