A WARM WELCOME FROM TVH3

Welcome to the Teign Valley Hash House Harriers of glorious South Devon. You are guaranteed a warm welcome and a great hash experience. We are the 'Party Hash' and we run from pubs all over Torbay, Dartmoor and the Teign Valley every Monday evening at 7.15pm. Our trails are marked with flour, chalk or sawdust and take in woodland, streams, byways, bridle paths and rolling countryside. We cater for all abilities, you needn't worry about keeping up, a leisurely walk with others or a good paced run if you're fit - you choose. The run duration is anything from 30 minutes to an hour and the distance is normally between 3-6 miles depending on whether you decide to take a short or long trail. Your first run is free, so come along and give it a go! After the run hashers enjoy a drink and food in the pub. On many occasions, the pub will lay on a 'Hash Menu', food specially for hashers.

WHAT TO EXPECT AT YOUR FIRST HASH

Starts soon after 7:15 pm each Monday.
The Grandmaster will gather the hash together in a circle and welcome Virgins & Visitors to TVH3 and inform the group of pertinent news or upcoming events.
Hares will announce details or the trail, number of long and short splits and regroups.

Down-Downs - sometimes at the circle but usually in the pub after the run. Hashers and harriets (lady hashers) have a half pint and under age hashers have a soft drink or water. If you are driving, just ask the RA for water.

A Down-Down is a means of punishing, rewarding, or merely recognizing an individual for any action or behavior. Once awarded, the downdown must be drunk without pause, otherwise the RA may take action!

Individuals may be recognized for outstanding service, or for their status as a visitor or newcomer.

Down-Downs also serve as punishment for misdemeanours real, imagined, or blatantly made up.

Such transgressions may include: wearing new shoes, pointing with a finger, or the use of real names rather than hash names.

Hash Names

The use of real names (nerd name) during an event is discouraged, and members are typically given a new "hash name," usually in deference to a particularly notorious escapade, a personality trait, or their physical appearance.

Members are named after attending the hash on several occasions or if something noteworthy occurs to prompt a naming.

Other hashers may share stories or observations about the individual, with the final name being chosen by general consensus from all suggestions put forward by the hash.

NEWCOMERS TO THE HASH
Completely new to hashing? Don't know what to expect? Worried, shy or nervous? You needn't be as all newcomers or virgins as they are known, will receive a warm welcome. When the hashers are called to make a circle - about 7:15 pm each Monday, the Grand Master will welcome all hashers and after various notices about forthcoming events etc are dealt with, he will ask if there are any visitors from other hashes or virgins present. You will be asked to come forward and be introduced to the hash. A tip to remember, don't wear new trainers as these are frowned upon by the RA (Religious Advisor) and will incur a sprinkling of flour over them. That's all there is to it and you can then step back and enjoy the run and the social get together after in the On Down (the pub). Whatever your pace, there are certain to be others who will keep you company along the trail. Walk, jog or run - it's up to you.
Hashing is all about making friends and having fun, so just turn up any Monday and have a go.

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TEDDY SAVED, PADDY & JESSIE FLEE FOR THEIR LIVES AND ELLIOTS HILL SALVATION

Run  #1797 Monday 3rd June at Cold East Cross, Dartmoor with Pisswell. OD The Rugglestone Inn

Come on Dusty, let's hear it:

Where does the trail lie
In the middle of nowhere
Will it soon pass me by
In the middle of nowhere

Back to the bleak but beautiful moor it was and the desolate clearing posing as a car park at the inhospitably named Cold East Cross. This then, Oh Dearly Beloved Groundhog Day Lovers, was the first edition of the Rugglestone Diaries as Shirley we would be back again the following week Oh Dearly This Has Not Happened In Ages.. But never mind, ever onwards to the action - and there was to be plenty of it.

Breasting the rise above the cross and chariots could be seen in the distance, clustered protectively together and looking for all the world like wild west wagons awaiting the indian attack.

They came from afar and the faithful few were joined by many:

Pisswell, daughter Jessie, virgin Paddy, Teapot, Able, Wigwam, BB, Hotlips & Zoot, Soapy & Melon Picker, Twinkletoes, Poacher, Rambo & Doris, Beefy, BroadS, SM Ellie, Manpig, Manopause, Erection, 69, a very strong Polish contingent: Pan Fart, Abscess, Anita, Gosia, Mother - she came back, a mum like her* + 3 virgins, Shitfaced, I-Poo'd, Piltdown & Georgy, Winfield, SatNav, Runner Bean, Plonker and Oliver, Coldtits, Pork Torpedo & Hornie, Hagen Daz & Harry, Slip on Me, Twin Buffers, late arriving Polyfella and even later Archangel. Forty eight listed but believe fifty recorded.

Pisswell divulged that she'd had a message from above - the Archangel Gabriel no less - and she had written down her own Commandments for the upcoming run - most of which were in the deadly Devon dialect - the most important detail being that the marks were always on the right. This vital snippet would ensure that Beefy and I at least would not go too far astray, Oh Dearly Observant...

And we were set loose from the Cold East calaboose, but things were not going to go as planned and a strawberry flavoured yoghurt sent it spinning from his hand..

There were some fast boys (and girls) out there and the combination of rough running uphill soon had the bird a staggering 'n' gasping. The trail was briefly lost at the foot of Buckland Beacon which not only re-enabled contact with the FRBs but also for the 'hashers of a lesser god' who swept by much to the frustration of the bested bird.

The final nail in the coffin was the technical** descent from the beacon into the valley far below. The taunting cries from Manopause gradually receded and then the FRBs had flown - Vaya con dios muchachos.

Over to you again, Dusty:
Are you gonna to leave me
And leave hashers to go astray
I'm in the middle of nowhere
Come and show me the way

A little respite was given encountering the welcome tarmac en route to Buckland in the Moor and no more ground was lost. And there were the marks leading into St Peters Church and the Bird is the Word paused for a moment to ask: 'Can I have more road please!' as by now he had tired of Wandering Lonely as a Cloud.

The plaintive plea was immediately answered and leaving the church there it was - the surfin' Bird's salvation - yes Oh Dearly Will be Revenged - the mile long Elliots Hill. Oh Hallelujah baby!
What a hill it was Elvis, such a hill that could be run right to the summit and it was a game changer.  A shout from behind, good gawd, it was Plonker and Runner Bean who Shirley had gone Pete Tong big time HA!

Then around a bend, the blue vested Manopause appeared (long time no see old buddy) which elicited a veritable banshee screech from the Bird who was now so hot he was practically on fire. A little further up the hill, Paddy heard the demented wail and turning to running partner Jessie muttered: 'I don't know who that is, but I don't want him to catch us up!' and the pair fled for their very lives and sanity..

Meanwhile, the longs were having their own adventures. Manpig had joined up with BroadS and SM Ellie and somehow they had managed to get onto the short trail which, after retracing their steps, left them over a mile adrift of the longs. En routey, Manpig happened upon a sad scene - a bedraggled t' t' teddy bear with red bow lying forlornly on the ground. Manpig, his heart strings tugged and a melancholy banjo twanging, just couldn't bear [sic] to leave him alone on the savage moor with night approaching. Gently placing teddy on a wall outside a house, the trio resumed the trail. If you are reading this perchance, Teddy, drop us a line to tell us you're safe..

Elliots Farm passed and a mile up into the clouds we hit the moor again, racing the fleeting rain to the magical SS manned by Pisswell and Slip on Me. There were marshmallows toasting by an open fire and an array of beverages to tempt and please and that we Shirley were before climbing back to Cold East Cross and a six miler bagged.  Manpig, BroadS and SM Ellie outdid us all by recording a Magnificent Seven courtesy of their detour.

It was a struggle to get to the Ruggle and there was chariot carnage at the first signpost as the Penners rocked and nearly rolled reversing back on course - but I didn't rat you out lads.

Nine o'clock had long retreated and it had turned a tad chilly, Oh Dearly Turn Your Collars Up and huddled hashers braved the elements in the beer garden whilst the savvy few lingered in the tiny bar to sample the Teignworthy and Legend (a cracking £3.40 a gogo) before being summoned outside for the downdowns.

DOWNDOWNS & AWARDS presented by Pork Torpedo
#1797 Mon at Cold East Cross Dartmoor where Hare Pisswell had laid a great trail around the moor finishing with the OD at The Rugglestone Inn Widecombe where the Down-Down Awards were presented to .....
VIRGIN Hasher OLIVER for going astray, nearly losing his shoe in the bog! now safely wearing wellingtons!!
GM SHITFACED for pinching that story from Beefy!
COLDTIZ for arriving early and not getting lost on the moor this time!
ERECTION for his badge on reaching 50 Runs with TVH3
POLYFELLA who at last received his 200 Runs Badge!

* Calvera to Chris: The Magnificent Seven (1960)
** Technical only for old timers

After the DDs and going to the bar for a refill, I found that Archangel had arrived and had completed Pisswell's six miler coming across quite a few hashers along the way. Unheralded yes but not now unsung.

It was quite a test, given my condition, but the trail was a winner and had something for everyone to enjoy.  Running alone, I could actually focus on the beautiful surroundings more and most of it was new to me. Thanks ever so much Pisswell and Slip on Me, all power to your marshmallows.



ON ON to next week and Circle up from Bone Hill Rocks Dartmoor (SX 732775) OD The Rugglestone Inn (second edition) (Poacher)

TVH3 HABERDASHERY LINK

NEW MISMANAGEMENT & CONTACT TELS.

Grand Master Shitfaced mobile 07973 682201
Vice G M Winfield mobile 07855355338
On Sec Piltdown Man mobile 07773038756
R A Organiser Teapot
R A Manpig
R A Forrest Stump
R A Fallen Woman
Hash Cash Threesome
Hash Tax Satnav
Trail Raiser Doris
Haberdashery Zoot
Song Master Pork Torpedo
Social Sec T. Humper
Spider /Web Bluebird
Life President Pottsie
Vice President K C

HASH SUBS

HASH SUBS £25 and for your assistance you can now use the BACS payment system to pay please.
Details as follows.... Hash Account number 69068186 Sort code 55-70-01 NOTE you must use your HASH NAME as a reference. Many thanks Three-Some & Satnav

JESSE'S DD FROM THE TALLY HO!

EXPLANATION OF ARCHIVE TVH3 SITES

GREATHASHGOD: A dedicated site (presently mothballed and serves as archive content only) with all TVH3 content. Mostly photos from each Monday's hash but also some video clips. Named after our Life President Pottsie.

PRECONDEROTOUS: Containing the entire archive of TVH3 of some 1000 vid clips and over 5000 posts and photos. Started on November 11th 2007, the site is active with Bluebird's personal content but the archive content is fascinating and preserved, well worth a look.

Fukarwi

Fukarwi

REARENDER

REARENDER

TEAPOT

TEAPOT

SOAPY

SOAPY

MOULDY DICK

MOULDY DICK

MELONPICKER

MELONPICKER

FALLEN WOMAN

FALLEN WOMAN

DORIS

DORIS

BROKEN MAN

BROKEN MAN

ARCHANGEL

ARCHANGEL

ABLE SEMEN

ABLE SEMEN

Previously unreleased clip - Vicky's naming from the Sea Trout

FOR TVH3 HABERDASHERY CONTACT ZOOT

FOR TVH3 HABERDASHERY CONTACT ZOOT

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