And the rains came out of the east in Biblical
fashion, the heavens did open and Thor rode out in his goat drawn
chariot to strike fear into the hearts of timid hashers. No, Oh Dearly
Desperate, it did not look good for hashing tonight - especially up on
the desolate moor...
A few hours previous and it had been so different.
Poacher had started to lay the trail in sunshine and the forecast of
light rain was but a minor cloud [sic] on the horizon. Then at about
4pm things turned nasty...
From within his bar bunker, the Grand Master sent
out a rallying call to his wavering troops: 'Are we hashers or ARE WE
HASHERS!' And while some dillied and derided, the TV warriors made
ready.
At 6:40pm Haldon Hash reportedly ran up the white
flag whilst the ones chosen by the hashing gods, proceeded to Bonehill.
Yes, Oh Dearly Open All Hours, we might just be frying tonight.
A tiny knot of chariots revealed themselves in the
lee of Bonehill Rocks and yes, there were hashers there, Oh Dearly Kept
the Faith..
As if by divine intervention, the rain ceased, all was still and the naysayers fell silent.
The Grand Master himself was outside, exhorting his
tiny contingent and there was Beefy of course along with the ex AA
battle wagon with Jessie plus one virgin hasher inside. Awaiting
instructions were Manpig, Just Coming, Archangel & the Vice
President KC, Only Here, BB and of course our courageous hare Poach.
The Penners, Wet Johnny and Erection and 69 had
checked in earlier when it was still peeing down and were the advance
party to the Ruggle. Poacher explained that there 'should' be a trail
out there and there was a L/S split. Local lass Jessie had volunteered
to run 'live' so, against all expectations, there was a game to be
played. And off they sped!
By the time I had changed into my Yeti wind chill
suit, unkindly called a 'scenes of crime suit' by Manpig, the micro hash
had disappeared so the GM and I headed for the elevation of Bonehill
rocks to see what was going on out there in darkening Dartmoor.
It was a grand view we had atop the rocks but then
came the first inkling of drama. 'Oi! Here for the Beer! He's nicking my
keys! Leave the keys!' cried an alarmed Grand Master, but Only Here was
driving off with Manpig and evidently taking the GM's car keys with him
- Oh Despicable and Dick Dastardly deed!
Returning to the car, no sign of the keys could be
found and it had to be assumed that Only Here had them now in the pub.
There was only one thing for it - drive to the Ruggle and retrieve the
keys and then back for the car.... sigh.
There then ensued an Only Fools chase down to the
pub. Emerging from the bar, the GM snarled 'Don't ask Bluebird, just
drive!' And back to Bonehill we went, the GM explaining that Only Here
had given the keys to Beefy the Marathon Man! We could be up at
Bonehill for hours... long sigh
There was a gnashing of teeth and many curses
uttered before eventually, the Penner's chariot was seen approaching.
Could it be that salvation was at hand? Why YES! They only had the keys
and the comic progression was unravelled: Beefy had given the keys to
Poacher who had arrived at the Ruggle to find that the GM had been and
gone so he had given them to WJ to take back up - Get it? Got it. Good!
Muttering vengeance on Here for the Beer, the GM was ferried back once
again to the Rugglestone. Ain't hashing grand!
Oh
yes, Oh Dearly Deserved, Legend was supped, stirring tall tales were
told as we awaited the Brave. 'How long before Beefy gets here?' someone
enquired and the response from Only Here was somewhat disappointing:
'He won't come back here, I'll buy you all a beer if he does!' Shirley
Only Here knew something that we evidently did not - a bet such as that
from a beer lover like him would not have been made without firm
intelligence...
Yes,
you have guessed right, Oh Dearly The Drinks Are On Only Here... Beefy,
Jessie and Raf arrived (Portugese not Polish Raf) to cheers and a
solitary groan from the TV banquet table.
Fortified
with our beer bet beer, Head RA Manpig delivered the DDs to his tiny
but enthusiastic audience. First up was the grim-faced GM and no
surprises as Only Free Beer was awarded the Bat Hat for his car key
catastrophe. Most unfortunately, the RA, whose word is final, decided
that the GM should also get a DD for his Only Fools car chase for the
keys and the final DD was given to the heroic hare for laying the
extreme weather trail.
There
was one last deed to be done, a naming for Jessie. 'Who does the yellow
van belong to?' brought a look of trepidation to her eyes but it ended
well enough, I think, with a handle of A**eh**es Anonymous. Oh dear, I
wonder what P**swell will say...
I think Beefy's post hash comment sums up what we all thought about the unusual evening:
'What a brilliant evening down the Rugglestone: great company and very entertaining in an intimate setting. One of the best times I've ever had after a trail. On-On!'
Grateful thanks to Jessie, Raf and Beefy for completing (and validating) the 4.5 mile trail and Poacher for laying it.
ON ON to next week and hopefully better weather - it is mid June after all - from The Cridford Inn Trusham (TQ13 0NR) with Forrest Stump.
