Run #1810 Monday 2nd September from the Cridford Inn with Forrest
I contrived to get to the circle at the death and have assembled those present courtesy of Beefy's vid scan:
I contrived to get to the circle at the death and have assembled those present courtesy of Beefy's vid scan:
GM Shitfaced, Winfield, Teapot, Wetfart, Soapy & Melon Picker, Piltdown & Georgy, Pork Torpedo & Hornie, Pan Fart & Bush Baby (welcome back), U Bend, Archangel, Poacher (right pub tonight), Forrest, Bobby mit Panzer & Wigwam, Flasher, Runner Bean, Plonker, Ollie, SatNav, 3Sum, Klingon, Beefy, Popeye (long time absent), Manpig, SM Ellie, Dan, Holly, Paraprick, Rambo & Doris, Gaga4it, Triple Jump, 69, Twin Buffers, Compo (or did my eyes deceive me?), Jackie, Nikki, BB, Deep Semen and a late arriving Fukarwi - 44 hashers all told.
The body grows weary and I was still sorely hobbling, hobbit wise. Arriving earlier than expected at 6:30pm, I found the Cridford's car park almost empty and for a moment thought I might have done a Poacher, oh Dearly Whatamistakatomaka..
I therefore set off on a little walk to try and ease my aching legs. Half an hour later (7 pm) I found myself in a field high above Trusham and unsure how to get back. A warning from a farm hand who, like everyone in these parts knew 'Colin' (Forrest you fools) informed me that the calving had taken place and to 'run like f***' if they came after you! Oh deary me, not a good start.
After ducking and diving under wire and over fencing and assisting U Bend to change places with Archangel's chariot outside in the road, I made the circle just as Forrest was being summoned and mightily warmed up I was now for the forthcoming Fray Bentos.
'Will we need head torches?' came a plaintive cry from the serried ranks to which the wizened and wise hare retorted bluntly: 'Yes!' Let's think about it post trail, a Forrest trail deep in darkest [sic] Trusham and a sunset time of about 8 pm... The flying FRBs, mob-handed tonight, decided to risk it and go as a biscuit**...
And off we jolly well went Winfield and like a cork out of a bottle, Poacher and Cider legged it down to the village and must have known something as he hardly paused at the first check before careering straight on. The FRBs would only sight him later - much later..
Flasher and Co. were in their element on the country and soon had a clear advantage over the rest of the longs. The wily hare tempted and teased with checks next to the river but eventually we climbed past the Manor pub and onto a welcome (for me anyway) stretch of road before the pièce de résistance of the trail - the great ascent to Pigeon Copse.
By now, the checks had done their job of slowing the advance guard down to enable the longs - and roving reporter Beefy from far back as is his wont - to come together. Soon to be named Ollie called us onto the climb and, oh boy, what a crackerjack it was. Turning a corner and there it unfolded to our jaw-dropping eyes - a veritable majestic, Guns of Navarone, concrete-clad climb to the copse.
Halfway up, I turned to see the ant-sized longs below. There was Beefy, Manpig, Dan and Holly - she can run a bit that hasherette*. An FRB tried to encourage Manpig, shouting: 'You're slacking!' and the conqueror of Sunday's Red Rock Mud Run duly responded. However, the hare hadn't finished with us yet and a cry from Flasher informed us of another test: 'There's a ruddy great puddle!' and a stretch of shoe-devouring mud called us to its clammy embrace.
Onto the tarmac and there was Forrest with the good news - 'Only two miles to go unless you want to cut short...' The gladiators sniffed disdainfully and legged it down the lane. Popeye (welcome back son) had appeared from nowhere and was duking it out with Dan, Holly and Manpig.
After
about four miles of unbridled fun, the trail went cold on us. We
searched in vain but after a few minutes and in the fast fading light,
we backtracked and found salvation, hurdling the electrified wire
breaks, fleeing for the Leg End and the bar.
Magical
indeed was the sight of five deer a dashing across the meadow in the
twilight in front of Manpig and me in the closing stages of another
great trail by Forrest.
There
was a nasty incident a hundred yards from the Cridford Inn when two
figures appeared out of the darkness and tried to mug an unsuspecting
OAP. Fortunately, he just made it to the safety of the crowded car park
and the assailants were thwarted in their dastardly deed.***
Back
at the Cridford and wild stories were circulating. SM Ellie had heard
that the long was TEN miles and she was glad she hadn't done that;
Winfield had somehow got caught up with the longs and had been carried
away with them; U Bend had barely escaped with his life after being
menaced by a herd of wild steers out in cowboy country and there was a
vicious rumour circulating that 69 had cadged a lift with G-string
somewhere out on the trail - Shirley a case of mistaken identity. Oh
deary me, what a palaver.
Highlights
of the awards out on the terrace (last throw of summer?) were Hornie's
500 run badge (love and kisses) and an inspired naming of young Ollie
by Pork Torpedo. It was Ollie's first day at work and the Artful Dogger hash handle was a classic to live with him forever.
* A newly coined term for a harriet inspired by our Grand Master at the downdowns.
**
There was a young man from Bengal who went to a fancy dress ball, He
decided to risk it and went as a biscuit but a dog ate him up in the
hall - No? Well please....
*** Your timing was spot on Fukarwi and Deep Semen - if I hadn't heard you chatting, you'd have had me!
WINFIELD'S WISDOM & AWARDS
Some memories on our Trail 1810 from The Cridford Inn Trusham with Hare Forrest Stump.
This
was meant to be a Birthday Trail with both Hares, but in the end it
was just Forrest who laid a testing trail, up across the scenic
countryside, with hills, riverside, woodland and of course mud! which I
remembered well as I washed off my trainers this morning. A great run
where I even found myself back enjoying the Long! Excellent beers and
spaghetti bolognaise awaited us at the pub. There was plenty of mud,
but also great views before darkness descended Well done Forrest for
another great trail!
The Awards were presented to the following offenders :-
Oliver now for ever to be known as Artful Dogger
U-Bend who was scared of the cows!
Hornie who at last received her 500Runs badge.
3Sum. for causing a draught with her new eyelashes!
Bobbiball who got wet to claim a free pint at the Mud Run
To Forrest and Poacher a joint Birthday DD, but not for helping Forrest.
On-On to next week at The Park Inn Kingskerswell (TQ12 5BQ) A Birthday Hash for T.Humper.
Remember to bring torches!
