Run #1816 Monday 14th October from the Church House Inn at Marldon with Piltdown & Georgy
A feeling of impending doom lay heavy upon mine soul. This hash, for me at least, would be a test of survival, Oh Dearly About to be Stretchered Off...
The TVH Watersports club were in business yet again at muddy Marldon and the hares' despair [sic] continues Oh Dearly Lovers of Mud..
Piltdown set off at 4pm and was upbeat re the underfoot conditions: 'It was mild and there was only a spell of heavy drizzle on the lay..' but then, have you ever known Piltdown to be downcast?
Chariot congestion cometh the death as hashers sought a space in the lanes, oblivious to the fact that the Church House's CP could take many more chariots - the packed council pay car park in front deceiving some.
Tricky getting numbers as most heavily hooded and rain-jacketed - Teapot calling thirty three but at least forty at the circle, leaving Teapot scratching his head.
I can only list thirty eight as follows:
Teapot, GM Shitfaced, Winfield, Piltdown, Georgy, 69, Avatar, GaGa4It, Pisswell, Big End, Well Hopped, Soapy, Melon Picker, SatNav, 3Sum, Hotlips, Zoot, 'Leder' Polyfella, Fukarwi, Beefy, Hornie, Pork Torpedo, Rambo, Doris, Only Here, Erection, BroadS, SM Ellie, Manpig, Artful Dogger, BB, Wigwam, Able, Fishbait, Small Fry, Zorro, Fallen Woman, Teararse Not sure if they ran but Slip on Me and Archangel were at the pub.
Late indeed was the circle after the chariot chaos and fidgety were the longs who, shades of Mark Antony, were anxious to 'let slip the dogs of war'...
The shorts and walkers headed for Church Hill while the longs were directed through the council CP and around a silly soddy [sic] lap of the community park. Exiting the 'how could we have fallen for that old trick again' field and there was the Grand Puppeteer gleefully pulling our strings - we would be seeing a lot more of him soon - how soon? Very soon...sigh.
Whilst the shorts and walkers were rural bound, for the longs an urban jungle network of alleyways unfolded with many a check designed to keep the pack together - anathema for the FRBs. The old firm of Manpig, Fukarwi and the Bat were joined by a strong-running Erection and all was going swimmingly [sic] until things went awry.
A stile was negotiated - and, unless there's a check, cross or arrow you keep straight on being the rough trail rule. Across the field, over a fixed gate (under for me as by now virtually crippled) and - not a sausage - or mark.
Manpig's not the sort of hasher to give up easily and with teeth gritted he sallied into the darkness. Eventually, we had to call him back from what was clearly a muddy and sticky wicket. As we turned, a horrible sight met our anguished eyes - the longs had arrived in some strength. We had tarried too long, all was lost - including the trail.
Seldom have I seen so many hashers together halfway into the run and a glittering array of head torches were impressive indeed.
Pork was so pleased to see me he Torpedoed my already death-riddled body with many a jovial threat but there were (as always) a few comforting words from Hornie: 'He doesn't mean it BB' 'Oh yes I do!' sigh.
It nearly got hairy with the dairy herd encountered as we searched for clues and Beefy kept my spirits raised with our usual trail banter.
With so many searching, a way was finally found across the treacherous quagmire and I passed the time following Polyfella with - and please singalong with me Oh Lederhosen* Lovers Everywhere - and remember to pronounce it as 'laider' to get the full effect:
He's the leder, he's the leder, he's the leder of the gang, he is
He's the leder, he's the leder, well, there's no one like the hasher he is
He can take you high as a kite every single night
You'd better believe it... No? Well...
At a farmyard junction the trail returned to its mysterious quality and shouts from all compass points came back to the faithful shiggy survivors.
A mocking cry of 'ON-ON!' echoed across the morass and then it was but a brief climb to Piltown's Yellow Submarine, seemingly beached at the edge of a newly formed road lake.
You can only have so much fun and I was earnestly looking for the exit. Piltdown indicated that we were only a half mile from the beer and I limped off, a Bat barely alive.
To my dismay, I saw some hashers turn off the road ahead - back onto the short trail! After several calls of ON BACK! Erection reappeared but I didn't know that Big Ned**, little Ned and Well Hopped were also aways down the lane. But never mind, I was relieved to make it back under my own steam and not be rescu-ed..
Safe and snug in Ye Olde Church House, I heard tell of a 'Kiss Me quick at the Kiss Gate' game - which harriets were encouraged to play. I wonder who thought of that?
Such was my pain and discomfort mid-trail, I thought I was having a discussion with Well Hopped about running shoes but it transpired it was Pisswell - but thanks Pisswell, it took my mind off things for a while.
After having a Naked Lady last week, I quite fancied a Wild Blonde IPA 4.4 abv and she didn't disappoint. The cheesy chips were tasty (thanks Winfield & Pisswell) if not a tad pricey at 4 1/2 sovs agogo but the staff were easy on the eye and friendly so what the heck - a nice venue to revisit once more.
Well done and thanks Piltdown and Georgy for another very muddy trail - if it had been a horse racing card, it would have been abandoned!
POSTSCRIPT
You were so right about what my injury was, Fukarwi, even before it happened on trail. Quite painful walking down the path on getting home Monday night but couldn't even walk Tuesday.
*Ask Polyfella when you see him next.
**An apt anagram
WINFIELD'S TRAIL MEMORIES
Drying out Memories! on Trail 1816 from The Church House Inn Marldon with Hares: Piltdown Man & Georgy P-Orgy.
Another wet Monday, but a great turnout in-spite of this! The pairs trail from a venue we had not visited for many moons, proved to be a wet,slippery and very muddy one in places. But on a damp evening, it was good to be out getting some exercise. My knee was still not up to running with the Longs, but with guidance from Satnav who knew the area well, along with Mellon Picker, we tripped and staggered our way across fields along the J Musgrave trail to Aptor followed by an even muddier track up and down along Adaptor Lane to the Ipplepen road.
Emerging at last only to find wall to wall flood water! and an abandoned vehicle? this fortunately was Piltdown and Georgy's Drinks stop where after a very reviving drink of homemade wine we headed on Home to dry off!
Well done! a great trail from the Hares on a very wet day!
DOWN DOWNS
The Awards from our 1816 Marldon trail were presented to the following offenders....
Satnav who mistook the love heart on this Pillock shirt for a rude symbol?
Piltdown Man...a man to be looked up to! for causing confusion on the Longs trail !
Erection strikes a pose...for going back onto the short instead of straight ON Home.
Piltdown Man Steadying himself now..ready to take the "punishment" for all of that trail!
Fallen Woman who's time had arrived for another Birthday down-down!
Well done the Hares for laying a great trail in such poor weather, and a "warm" welcome at the Church House Inn.
ON ON to next week at Court Farm Inn Abbotskerswell (TQ12 5NY) with Piddler & Going Down
