Run #1828 Monday 6th January from the Teign & Stover CP, OD the King's Arms with Flasher and Friends
The
first run of a new decade and the lads were out in force to lay for
Flasher's birthday. A band of heavy rain swept through early afternoon
delaying proceedings. Oh yes, it was going to be testing conditions out
there t'teddy bear..
The lean longs had a plan so cunning you could put a tail on it and call it a weasel. After consulting the
slide-rule it was discerned that it was a mere 3/4 M from the King's
Arms at Kingsteignton to the circle CP. Shirley it would be sheer folly
to park in the middle of nowhere and then have all the shorts and
walkers nab the spaces at the pub.
And
so, Oh Dearly Thwarted, it came to pass that the Good ol' Boys
gathered at the OD for a leisurely warm-up jog to the circle. HA!
Proudly
did our banners fly as we sallied out of the tunnel circle bound.
Warriors Wet Johnny and Manopause, Beefy, BroadS and the surfin' Bird,
oh what a glorious sight we made and Fallen Woman who drove past the
cavalcade did concur...
The
inky black and partially flooded circle CP was already a confused
maelstrom of chariots as we arrived and smug indeedy were the Famous
Five - but the fickle Fates frowned and some of us would be punished for
our complacency..
Teapot
was on station at the entrance, busily taking names and a forty plus
roll was attained. Vague indeed is the memory but I'll avago:
Winfield,
Teapot, Flasher, Runner Bean, Plonker, Pork Torpedo, Hornie, Fallen
Woman, Manopause, Wet Johnny, Beefy, BroadS, SM Ellie, Stung Down Under,
Manpig, Poles Piddler, Wiggy, Only Here, Debbie, 3Sum, SatNav,
Archangel, Big End, Well Hopped, Slip on Me, Strap-On, Ann, Ernie,
Piltdown, Able, Georgia, Adam, U Bend, 69, Coldtits, Doris, BB, Soapy,
Melon Picker and Woof Woof. 40 listed and apologies if I missed you out.
In
the absence of our revered Grand Master (we missed you) Winfield called
the crew to order before summoning the authors of the evening's
entertainment. There was a slight disagreement (which would seal
Runner Bean's fate before we had even started) between the hares until
it transpired that there were three L/S splits and a SS sited somewhere
out there in the malevolent morass. Walkers to the left and
longs/shorts to the right.. Yo!
After
last wek's debacle, I had switched to dimpled road shoes, which though
not ideal, afforded a little traction on the less muddy sections.
Unfortunately, I had forgotten to put insoles in - a decision which
would be rued later..
It
soon became apparent that the marks were spaced out and faith had to
be put in the hares. And I had faith in the hares, rollin' rollin'
rollin' even when the way seemed uncertain to trailblazer Wet Johnny.
The trail was clever, the shorts converging with the longs (apologies to
U Bend for my rude comments) as we wended our sodden way along the
banks of the Teign and all seemed well until it all went horribly
wrong...multiple sighs
A funnel
shaped field posed the question - left or right? In the absence of
clues, I kept the faith and bore right, taking Wet Johnny and Beefy with
me but even they lost faith after nigh on a half mile of no marks and
they turned back.
However,
I still had faith and continued doggedly onwards. Shirley a mark would
appear and my faith would be Shirley vindicated? I still had faith up
to the moment I slipped on a slick bend and crashed into the river. I
then lost faith.
What
to do? Turn back and be the butt of cruel jokes at my soggy expense?
No, I would continue and head 'em off at the next river crossing.
Meanwhile,
Beefy, Wet Johnny, Manopause, Manpig, Woof Woof and BroadS were
(correctly) heading for Stover Park and gawd only knows the whereabouts
of the others.
Two
near fatal mistakas occurred roughly at the same time. Beefy and BroadS
(and others?) missed the left turn for Stover Park and headed for
Heathfield while a mile to the north I closed rapidly (on lovely tarmac)
with Chudleigh Knighton before turning.
The
end result was Beefy covering TEN miles and out for two hours, BroadS
nearly EIGHT miles and ninety five minutes and similar stories for WJ,
Manopause et al.
I
may have had harder hash runs since 1985 but I cannot recall being as
exhausted as I was when I finally got back to the King's Arms. Ask
Bobby, he'll tell you.
There
were tales aplenty to marvel about inside the King's Arms. Well Hopped
and Big End related the carnage caused by a wicked HA HA - lads, how
could you? and running down one side of a hedge with the shorts on the
other side. Manopause had pleaded with other hashers not to follow him
as he had no idea where he was and Manpig refused to comment and may
have committed some dastardly deed en routey. I have no intelligence on
the SS and whether anyone - apart from the shorts and walkers -
actually made it. Answers on a postcard please.
WINFIELD'S VIEW
Muddy
memories from trail 1828 Mon 6th Jan at the Teign and Stover Canal Car
Park a Birthday Hash with Hare Flasher and Friends. Near the aptly
named Gallows Cross!, a heavy downpour had certainly added something
extra to the Hares Trail! as 40plus Hashers were soon "slip sliding"
their way along, one of the most muddy footpaths ever! beside the river
Teign, heading on towards Teigngrace. The Short 3+miles, with the long
on a testing 10 miler!. Soon on soggy meadows, going was a little
easier, before somehow ending up on the cycle track,
Decided
at next check, on what was now a pleasant evening to cut across the
meadows footpath. No marks! must be off route? but somehow Satnav 3Sum
and I did finally emerge back on the Old Exeter Rd not far from the CP
so all good in the end! Back at the OD in The Kings Arms Kingsteignton,
many tales from the Trail were exchanged over a beer and the excellent
buffet.
Awards for the pack were presented to .....
FLASHER the birthday Hare,here drinks up carefully from his new trainers.. Happy Birthday!
RUNNER BEAN prepares to drink for causing confusion at the start!
Dog loving Deborah now for ever to be known as DOG END! needed to sit for her DD??
BLUEBIRD who fell in the river! encouraged now by S.M.E to get wet inside!
BROADSHIT Having now reached 50Runs is ready to down a DD in one go!
Well done all the Hares for an excellent trail and OD!
POSTSCRIPT
Well
lads, you very nearly did for your (very) old schoolmate. What a great
adventure to survive and tell the story. Happy birthday Flasher! If
I'm still around, ask me at the end of 2020 my most memorable hash -
this one is a strong contender - even with 51 to go...
ON ON
to next week Mon.13th Jan 7:15 The Railway Brewhouse Newton Abbot (TQ12
2BS) Hare: Archangel No official parking "best to go green on local
transport!"
