A WARM WELCOME FROM TVH3

Welcome to the Teign Valley Hash House Harriers of glorious South Devon. You are guaranteed a warm welcome and a great hash experience. We are the 'Party Hash' and we run from pubs all over Torbay, Dartmoor and the Teign Valley every Monday evening at 7.15pm. Our trails are marked with flour, chalk or sawdust and take in woodland, streams, byways, bridle paths and rolling countryside. We cater for all abilities, you needn't worry about keeping up, a leisurely walk with others or a good paced run if you're fit - you choose. The run duration is anything from 30 minutes to an hour and the distance is normally between 3-6 miles depending on whether you decide to take a short or long trail. Your first run is free, so come along and give it a go! After the run hashers enjoy a drink and food in the pub. On many occasions, the pub will lay on a 'Hash Menu', food specially for hashers.

WHAT TO EXPECT AT YOUR FIRST HASH

Starts soon after 7:15 pm each Monday.
The Grandmaster will gather the hash together in a circle and welcome Virgins & Visitors to TVH3 and inform the group of pertinent news or upcoming events.
Hares will announce details or the trail, number of long and short splits and regroups.

Down-Downs - sometimes at the circle but usually in the pub after the run. Hashers and harriets (lady hashers) have a half pint and under age hashers have a soft drink or water. If you are driving, just ask the RA for water.

A Down-Down is a means of punishing, rewarding, or merely recognizing an individual for any action or behavior. Once awarded, the downdown must be drunk without pause, otherwise the RA may take action!

Individuals may be recognized for outstanding service, or for their status as a visitor or newcomer.

Down-Downs also serve as punishment for misdemeanours real, imagined, or blatantly made up.

Such transgressions may include: wearing new shoes, pointing with a finger, or the use of real names rather than hash names.

Hash Names

The use of real names (nerd name) during an event is discouraged, and members are typically given a new "hash name," usually in deference to a particularly notorious escapade, a personality trait, or their physical appearance.

Members are named after attending the hash on several occasions or if something noteworthy occurs to prompt a naming.

Other hashers may share stories or observations about the individual, with the final name being chosen by general consensus from all suggestions put forward by the hash.

NEWCOMERS TO THE HASH
Completely new to hashing? Don't know what to expect? Worried, shy or nervous? You needn't be as all newcomers or virgins as they are known, will receive a warm welcome. When the hashers are called to make a circle - about 7:15 pm each Monday, the Grand Master will welcome all hashers and after various notices about forthcoming events etc are dealt with, he will ask if there are any visitors from other hashes or virgins present. You will be asked to come forward and be introduced to the hash. A tip to remember, don't wear new trainers as these are frowned upon by the RA (Religious Advisor) and will incur a sprinkling of flour over them. That's all there is to it and you can then step back and enjoy the run and the social get together after in the On Down (the pub). Whatever your pace, there are certain to be others who will keep you company along the trail. Walk, jog or run - it's up to you.
Hashing is all about making friends and having fun, so just turn up any Monday and have a go.

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MAGNIFICENT

Run #1831 Monday 27th January from the Drum Inn, Cockington with Beefy & Pisswell

The Batmobile nosed cautiously up the drive to the Drum and slotted seamlessly into the one remaining space available. It was 6:30 pm.

Next to arrive at 6:50 pm was Able who had to repair to the Sheriff of Nottingham car park below the Drum. Walking down to greet the advance troops, I noticed the (unlit so how could you see it?) pub sign with the 'welcoming' legend scrolled beneath: Drum Inn - NO PARKING - please park in the (pay 24/7) car park opposite. I bet that's popular with locals in winter.

No illuminated pay board but it was there, skulking at the rear wall to extract parking fines galore for the unwary. Able's comment that she didn't trust Torbay council well founded. But enough, I will desist from my parking lament and take us back to the inclement evening and an upcoming saga of some note..

Hashers congregated on the wide steps of the pub and there were a few unfamiliar faces.  The Gromit (long time no see old buddy) had been lured from his lair close by and was accompanied by Brewers Droop (AH3);  Skinny Dipper - a rare straggler from Land Ho; Yon Virgins Libby (Pisswell's daughter) and Charlie; Paddy (Cold East Cross last June) and the Torbay AC warriors Grinder and Deep Throat.

Teapot called it at thirty seven but a fearless forty one recorded herewith:

GM Shitfaced, Teapot, Manpig, T Humper, I-Poo'd, Just Coming, Archangel, Manpig, Well Hopped, Big End, SatNav, 3Sum, Strap-on, Wet Johnny, Erection, Skinny Dipper, Gromit, Brewers Droop, 69, Beefy, Pisswell, Charlie, Libby, Able, Doris, BroadS, SM Ellie, Wigwam, Grinder, Deep Throat, Paddy, Plonker, Artful Dogger, BB, Broken Man, Fallen Woman, Piltdown, Georgie, Slip on Me, U Bend and Coldtits.

Unbeknown to all, there was drama aplenty unfolding out on the trail.  Beefy had commenced laying around 4:30 pm but without co-hare Pisswell who was 'running' late.

Circle up time came and went with still no sign of the hares as the Grand Master waited with staff in hand and stoic pose.

At last Beefy was sighted and made the circle glistening with sweat. The Strava told a remarkable story: In 2 hours and 46 minutes, Beefy had covered FIFTEEN miles, averaging under 11 minutes a mile while laying in extremely muddy conditions. And here he was about to sweep the trail - think long and hard about it...

SIX L/S splits were mentioned along with a SS and without further ado, we were pointed downhill and the adventure commenced...

At the loiter the pack formed by ye olde forge awaiting the scouts and with two crosses sighted, the only game left was forwards - to the lakes.

It was crowded at the sharp end with Grinder, Deep Throat, Gromit, Wet Johnny, Erection, Plonker, Artful Dogger, BroadS, Manpig, Well Hopped and Big End all on the bunny. With such a wealth of talent, the trail was discovered with ease.

A little loop bringing us back from whence we had come about five minutes before had allowed Beefy to lay link up marks and things were going swimmingly.

Inevitably the pack shredded as the FRBs class (and ability to cope with the mud) took them away from the main body of longs. Artful Dogger, Grinder and Deep Throat had a right set to with Plonker apparently soloing around most of the trail but at a rate of knots in the ground.

A cohort of longs comprising Big End, Well Hopped, BroadS, Manpig, Erection, Gromit, Skinny Dipper and BB assembled and plodded onwards until things went awry.

I don't know how - and let me hasten to add that no-one was to blame - we just lost the trail.  Big End with Ned had now assumed trailfinder role of our group and after half an hour and two miles (!) we escaped the lake section and discovered Pisswell at the SS.

We were a long way adrift of most of the hash by now but determined to Carry On Hashing (2020).  Our group was reduced to four after some disappeared (Gromit met Wet Johnny and they went a different way) and Well Hopped peeled off leaving Big End, BroadS, BB and Manpig.

At every L/S split Big End asked if we were still okay to go long (we must have looked pretty bad by now) but we were committed (please, no jokes) and no one was going to knowingly go short.

The trail was most cunning and had us frequently backtracking.  We happened upon Pisswell, Libby and Paddy and looking back down a valley four or five other head torches could be seen so we weren't the tail enders. Manpig slipped [sic] a little way behind but Big End kept his tiny band together and camaraderie prevailed out there in the mud.

Lights from the bay appeared on the heights near the Marldon Road and it was familiar terrain as we dropped back down to Cockington Lane but we were over half an hour behind the FRbs. Sensing the beer, Manpig came back from the dead and legged it across the swampy ground to the lane.

After seventy minutes of unrelenting mud, I must hold up my hands and confess that it was here that I ran up the white flag with a lamentable cry: 'We've done enough!' and we legged it to the pub a half mile off.

It was only after consulting the Strava returns that I see that we missed the last two miles on road (Ned would have given the paws up here) but as stated, we had been out for around ninety minutes and had to forego the completion. Like others, I would dearly like to run this trail in summer sans sludge.

Entering the Drum around 9:15 pm, Teapot was informed of those still out on trail and the DDs were delayed. With no less than eight awards, beer had to be bought to accommodate the throng

DOWNDOWNS AWARDED TO:

CHARLIE (Horsey Horse head hat) for his slip and slide manoeuvres in the Cockington mud.
BLUEBIRD (White Bat Hat) whose name was mentioned so probably was responsible .
SM ELLIE (Hashit Pillock Shirt) apologies but I cannot recall the misdemeanour.
BEEFY for possibly the greatest lay in TVH's history.
PISSWELL for assisting and manning the SS.
TWO BIRTHDAY DDs for LIBBY & SLIP ON ME
And finally a 400 RUN BADGE for our RA MANPIG.
(Come back next week Winfield, I'm not too good at remembering the awards!)

POSTSCRIPT
What an evening it turned out to be. I cannot recall a greater effort to lay a trail in all the runs I have experienced as a hasher. To lay fifteen miles in winter and mud in such a short time AND then sweep the seven mile trail is truly remarkable. A feat that is worthy of recording for posterity.  The Drum was welcoming and parking fees aside was a good venue, providing a great atmosphere for the DDs. Thanks Big End for leading us out of the morass and finally, one word to sum up the hare's effort - MAGNIFICENT.

ON ON to next week and our Australian Evening at The Park Inn Kingskerswell,(TQ12 5BQ) with Hares:  T.Humper & I'Pood  Wear something Australian - a special evening to raise funds for caring for animals affected by the bush fires.

HASH SUBS

HASH SUBS £25 and for your assistance you can now use the BACS payment system to pay please.
Details as follows.... Hash Account number 69068186 Sort code 55-70-01 NOTE you must use your HASH NAME as a reference. Many thanks Three-Some & Satnav

TVH3 HABERDASHERY LINK

NEW MISMANAGEMENT & CONTACT TELS.

Grand Master Shitfaced mobile 07973 682201
Vice G M Winfield mobile 07855355338
On Sec Piltdown Man mobile 07773038756
R A Organiser Teapot
R A Manpig
R A Forrest Stump
R A Fallen Woman
Hash Cash Threesome
Hash Tax Satnav
Trail Raiser Doris
Haberdashery Zoot
Song Master Pork Torpedo
Social Sec T. Humper
Spider /Web Bluebird
Life President Pottsie
Vice President K C sadly not with us

JESSE'S DD FROM THE TALLY HO!

EXPLANATION OF ARCHIVE TVH3 SITES

GREATHASHGOD: A dedicated site (presently mothballed and serves as archive content only) with all TVH3 content. Mostly photos from each Monday's hash but also some video clips. Named after our Life President Pottsie.

PRECONDEROTOUS: Containing the entire archive of TVH3 of some 1000 vid clips and over 5000 posts and photos. Started on November 11th 2007, the site is active with Bluebird's personal content but the archive content is fascinating and preserved, well worth a look.

Fukarwi

Fukarwi

REARENDER

REARENDER

TEAPOT

TEAPOT

SOAPY

SOAPY

MOULDY DICK

MOULDY DICK

MELONPICKER

MELONPICKER

FALLEN WOMAN

FALLEN WOMAN

DORIS

DORIS

BROKEN MAN

BROKEN MAN

ARCHANGEL

ARCHANGEL

ABLE SEMEN

ABLE SEMEN

Previously unreleased clip - Vicky's naming from the Sea Trout

FOR TVH3 HABERDASHERY CONTACT ZOOT

FOR TVH3 HABERDASHERY CONTACT ZOOT

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