A WARM WELCOME FROM TVH3

Welcome to the Teign Valley Hash House Harriers of glorious South Devon. You are guaranteed a warm welcome and a great hash experience. We are the 'Party Hash' and we run from pubs all over Torbay, Dartmoor and the Teign Valley every Monday evening at 7.15pm. Our trails are marked with flour, chalk or sawdust and take in woodland, streams, byways, bridle paths and rolling countryside. We cater for all abilities, you needn't worry about keeping up, a leisurely walk with others or a good paced run if you're fit - you choose. The run duration is anything from 30 minutes to an hour and the distance is normally between 3-6 miles depending on whether you decide to take a short or long trail. Your first run is free, so come along and give it a go! After the run hashers enjoy a drink and food in the pub. On many occasions, the pub will lay on a 'Hash Menu', food specially for hashers.

WHAT TO EXPECT AT YOUR FIRST HASH

Starts soon after 7:15 pm each Monday.
The Grandmaster will gather the hash together in a circle and welcome Virgins & Visitors to TVH3 and inform the group of pertinent news or upcoming events.
Hares will announce details or the trail, number of long and short splits and regroups.

Down-Downs - sometimes at the circle but usually in the pub after the run. Hashers and harriets (lady hashers) have a half pint and under age hashers have a soft drink or water. If you are driving, just ask the RA for water.

A Down-Down is a means of punishing, rewarding, or merely recognizing an individual for any action or behavior. Once awarded, the downdown must be drunk without pause, otherwise the RA may take action!

Individuals may be recognized for outstanding service, or for their status as a visitor or newcomer.

Down-Downs also serve as punishment for misdemeanours real, imagined, or blatantly made up.

Such transgressions may include: wearing new shoes, pointing with a finger, or the use of real names rather than hash names.

Hash Names

The use of real names (nerd name) during an event is discouraged, and members are typically given a new "hash name," usually in deference to a particularly notorious escapade, a personality trait, or their physical appearance.

Members are named after attending the hash on several occasions or if something noteworthy occurs to prompt a naming.

Other hashers may share stories or observations about the individual, with the final name being chosen by general consensus from all suggestions put forward by the hash.

NEWCOMERS TO THE HASH
Completely new to hashing? Don't know what to expect? Worried, shy or nervous? You needn't be as all newcomers or virgins as they are known, will receive a warm welcome. When the hashers are called to make a circle - about 7:15 pm each Monday, the Grand Master will welcome all hashers and after various notices about forthcoming events etc are dealt with, he will ask if there are any visitors from other hashes or virgins present. You will be asked to come forward and be introduced to the hash. A tip to remember, don't wear new trainers as these are frowned upon by the RA (Religious Advisor) and will incur a sprinkling of flour over them. That's all there is to it and you can then step back and enjoy the run and the social get together after in the On Down (the pub). Whatever your pace, there are certain to be others who will keep you company along the trail. Walk, jog or run - it's up to you.
Hashing is all about making friends and having fun, so just turn up any Monday and have a go.

Tuesday 11 August 2020

TWENTY LOST SOULS SEEKING REDEMPTION IN A CRUEL LOST WORLD*

Run #1839 from the Park Inn, Kingskerswell

From far and wide they came to rediscover the ages old art of hashing, but this time in a different way. Here follows the sacred roll call of They who Dared:
Manpig - looking a little trimmer and sporting the latest fashion of the Surrey with the Fringe on Top; Popeye - carrying a little more in condition and taking the Fringe on Top to award winning proportions; Piltdown & Georgy P - sans Yellow Submarine transport; Screwed - with the Daz Brilliant whitest pooch I have ever seen; T Humper and I-Poo'd + Spud; Slip on Me - a fervent and guaranteed attendee; sweet and forgiving (more on that later) Coldtits; a pugnacious (I heard you were laying it Bluebird you effing Pillock) Wetfart; Only Here for the Beer (cider actually on the night); the FRB battalion of Flasher, Artful Dogger and Plonker; Pisswell - hoping to get a long run in; late arrival Archangel bless him [sic]; even later arrival ParaP with dawgs; Beefy and last but Shirley not least our Grand Master Shitfaced who had arranged the affair with Piltdown and equally supportive Mine Host Park 'n' Ride. Twenty lost souls seeking redemption in a cruel lost world... No? Well please....
Unsurprisingly, it hadn't begun well. Wishin' And Hopin' to get ahead of the game, the becatlittered** Bird had commenced operations Sunday at 6:33 pm. Two hours and thirty six minutes later and with 9.69 miles on the clock, a gibbering and mortally wounded maniac staggered back to his chariot. I will gloss over this sorry sob story as I do not wish to dwell further on the details.
A Sleepless in Seattle night followed with the extra bad news that thunderstorms were likely Monday which could well wipe out any marks laid - though the trail did not actually link up and needed a complete rethink. Shirley enough, a rumble of thunder at 7:45 am presaged a downpour which flooded my extension...
Never mind, another foray at 2 pm on this Day of Days saw a rough and ready 10K trail cobbled together. It wasn't pretty and A Wing and a Prayer summed it up. Unsure who was going to arrive, there was as yet no short or walkers' trails, but at least there was something to run out there.
A fine blend of anticipation and trepidation (on the hare's side) prevailed as the GM and Piltdown, complete with official clipboard, awaited. The babbling Bird was ordered back on station by the GM to direct any shorts and T Humper was tasked with organizing a walkabout, hereabouts or thereabouts.
Oh yes, Oh Dearly Beloved, it was a hash - for the loyal and battle-hardened longs at least. High up on Connybear Lane just off the footpath (and only salvation from the tarmac for the tiny band of shorts) I waited and counted the longs through: Flasher, Plonker, Artful Dogger, Beefy, Manpig, Popeye - still recovering from deep calf muscle tear and Pisswell - all game and up for it. I tried to mark their cards and bid them a tearful goodbye.
Putting the shorts marks down (merely sending them back down the lane to retrace their steps back home) I return-ed to mine chariot to head back to the watering hole at the Park.
As I turned, there was Coldtits coming round the corner. She was so understanding when I explained that she was merely going back the same way and I felt really guilty at the deception. Two hundred yards away there was the welcome sight of that grand hasher Archangel and I paused to apologize to him as well and I felt a tiny bit better for both of their understanding.
Great news in the Park as I saw that the Teignworthy Gundog 4.3 abv was on and at an amazing £3.60 a pint, Oh Wow with bells and ribbons on it!
However, it was still an anxious wait for my longs to get back, but get back they Shirley Valentine did. I really shouldn't have fretted Betty, as all Magnificent Seven hashers were some of our finest and well used to searching out missing or faded (yes, some marks had been savaged in the early monsoon) marks.
Beefy and Manpig apparently had gone for a swim post trail which left us puzzled - perhaps the drainage ditch down by the church? Where on earth would they find water? The answer was, of course, at MP's gaff and his heavily sawn-off Olympic sized pool.
Hashers were given the choice of returning home or entering the pub as individuals to have a drink. No RA'ing or DDs but simple social distancing and a chat over a beer or two - magic...
Plenty of space inside and out in the garden and wasn't it blissful being together once more.
A pint of Gundog, beautiful company with long-absent friends, quite simply a fantastic night. Nuff said.
Grateful thanks to our Grand Master and Piltdown for having the courage to put together and carry out the exercise.
*The header was to read: SHIRLEY VALENTINE & A DAZ BRILLIANT WHITE POOCH WITH A GUNDOG but I thought this was more relevant and perhaps, poignant in these Doomsday times..
**So let it be written, so let it be coined.
ON ON to next week with details to follow.

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WEEKLY SUBS PAYERS

It would be appreciated if those hashers that pay £1 a week when they attend rather than the £30 a year subscription could bring their one pound to the circle and pay Pisswell before the run. It is not much fun for her to chase hashers in the pub for payment. Many thanks for your cooperation. 🙂

MISMANAGEMENT UPDATED AGPU APRIL 4 2022

Grand Master Shitfaced mobile 07973 682201
Vice G M U Bend
On Sec Piltdown Man mobile 07773038756
R A Organiser Teapot
R A Manpig
R A Forrest Stump
R A Fallen Woman
Hash Cash Threesome
Hash Tax Pisswell
Trail Raiser Smellie
Haberdashery Zoot
Song Master Pork Torpedo
Social Sec Wet Johnny
Web /Web Master Bluebird

HASH SUBS 2023

This years membership, which is due now is £30 Alternatively, you can pay £1 per week when attending. Samantha Zimbler Hash cash Threesum. On line payments Account name: TEIGN VALLEY HASH House Harriers Sort Code: 55-70-01 Account number: 69068186 Reference: your hash name

TVH3 HABERDASHERY LINK

JESSE'S DD FROM THE TALLY HO!

EXPLANATION OF ARCHIVE TVH3 SITES

GREATHASHGOD: A dedicated site (presently mothballed and serves as archive content only) with all TVH3 content. Mostly photos from each Monday's hash but also some video clips. Named after our Life President Pottsie.

PRECONDEROTOUS: Containing the entire archive of TVH3 of some 1000 vid clips and over 5000 posts and photos. Started on November 11th 2007, the site is active with Bluebird's personal content but the archive content is fascinating and preserved, well worth a look.

Fukarwi

Fukarwi

REARENDER

REARENDER

TEAPOT

TEAPOT

SOAPY

SOAPY

MOULDY DICK

MOULDY DICK

MELONPICKER

MELONPICKER

FALLEN WOMAN

FALLEN WOMAN

DORIS

DORIS

BROKEN MAN

BROKEN MAN

ARCHANGEL

ARCHANGEL

ABLE SEMEN

ABLE SEMEN

Previously unreleased clip - Vicky's naming from the Sea Trout

FOR TVH3 HABERDASHERY CONTACT ZOOT

FOR TVH3 HABERDASHERY CONTACT ZOOT

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