A WARM WELCOME FROM TVH3

Welcome to the Teign Valley Hash House Harriers of glorious South Devon. You are guaranteed a warm welcome and a great hash experience. We are the 'Party Hash' and we run from pubs all over Torbay, Dartmoor and the Teign Valley every Monday evening at 7.15pm. Our trails are marked with flour, chalk or sawdust and take in woodland, streams, byways, bridle paths and rolling countryside. We cater for all abilities, you needn't worry about keeping up, a leisurely walk with others or a good paced run if you're fit - you choose. The run duration is anything from 30 minutes to an hour and the distance is normally between 3-6 miles depending on whether you decide to take a short or long trail. Your first run is free, so come along and give it a go! After the run hashers enjoy a drink and food in the pub. On many occasions, the pub will lay on a 'Hash Menu', food specially for hashers.

WHAT TO EXPECT AT YOUR FIRST HASH

Starts soon after 7:15 pm each Monday.
The Grandmaster will gather the hash together in a circle and welcome Virgins & Visitors to TVH3 and inform the group of pertinent news or upcoming events.
Hares will announce details or the trail, number of long and short splits and regroups.

Down-Downs - sometimes at the circle but usually in the pub after the run. Hashers and harriets (lady hashers) have a half pint and under age hashers have a soft drink or water. If you are driving, just ask the RA for water.

A Down-Down is a means of punishing, rewarding, or merely recognizing an individual for any action or behavior. Once awarded, the downdown must be drunk without pause, otherwise the RA may take action!

Individuals may be recognized for outstanding service, or for their status as a visitor or newcomer.

Down-Downs also serve as punishment for misdemeanours real, imagined, or blatantly made up.

Such transgressions may include: wearing new shoes, pointing with a finger, or the use of real names rather than hash names.

Hash Names

The use of real names (nerd name) during an event is discouraged, and members are typically given a new "hash name," usually in deference to a particularly notorious escapade, a personality trait, or their physical appearance.

Members are named after attending the hash on several occasions or if something noteworthy occurs to prompt a naming.

Other hashers may share stories or observations about the individual, with the final name being chosen by general consensus from all suggestions put forward by the hash.

NEWCOMERS TO THE HASH
Completely new to hashing? Don't know what to expect? Worried, shy or nervous? You needn't be as all newcomers or virgins as they are known, will receive a warm welcome. When the hashers are called to make a circle - about 7:15 pm each Monday, the Grand Master will welcome all hashers and after various notices about forthcoming events etc are dealt with, he will ask if there are any visitors from other hashes or virgins present. You will be asked to come forward and be introduced to the hash. A tip to remember, don't wear new trainers as these are frowned upon by the RA (Religious Advisor) and will incur a sprinkling of flour over them. That's all there is to it and you can then step back and enjoy the run and the social get together after in the On Down (the pub). Whatever your pace, there are certain to be others who will keep you company along the trail. Walk, jog or run - it's up to you.
Hashing is all about making friends and having fun, so just turn up any Monday and have a go.

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FIVE HASHES AND NO FUNERAL

  Run #1843 Monday 7th September from the Wild Goose Inn with Birthday Gal T Humper


With a barely concealed snarl of rage, Bobby Woll wrestled the Panzerkampfwagen into the tiny village car park, ignoring the large overhead sign KEINE PANZERS HIER*... Yes, Oh Dearly Dismayed, the Rottenf├╝hrer was still Rolling, Rolling, Rolling...

A fine turnout as follows:

GM Shitfaced, T Humper, I-Poo'd, Strap-On, Archangel, Manpig, Beefy, Piltdown, Georgie P, SM Eliie, Wigwam, Coldtits, Wetfart, Beefy, Fallen Woman, Broken Man, Slip on Me, Plonker, Artful Dogger with Reuben the pooch making his hash debut, #69, Forrest, BroadS, Able and two virgins - Jane (GM's auntie) and Joey (another TBGS recruit brought along by Artful) and, appearing post-run but having run, was SatNav making a grand total of twenty seven hashers true.

An official circle was formed up (plenty of room to distance) and the Grand Master addressed the multitude. Birthdays two would be reveal-ed later and I-Poo'd's famed alcoholic steeped confections would also be on offer.

With the glad tidings dispensed, the GM handed over to the Official Hare for the evening - T Humper.
One L/S split, a long of five miles, a short of four and a walkers' exercise of one and a half was on the menu.

However, Oh Dearly Confus-ed, the local Bird had been enlisted to mule the flour around the long. The trails had been laid on Sunday and such was the madding crowd gadding about, it seemed like a good idea to send a live hare out to live lay some sections of the trail... Sigh

A smattering of head torches were on show, though Beefy was prematurely advised by He who shall be Nameless that they wouldn't be needed...Double sigh

Thus the hashers of war were let slip and the wiles of the trail beckoned - but back to them later, Oh Dearly Hang on a Sec...

The bandana clad Wiggy and Forrest spearheaded the serried ranks of intermingled shorts and walkers as the live hare, carrying a 1.5 kg of flour, legged it up Slackery en route for the river. Time was of the essence, as the greyhounds would Shirley devour the Bird if he tarried Larry.

Meanwhile, back with the charging longs, a turbo charged Plonker had lit the FRBs up and with eyes narrowed and red visor down he led the warriors up the rise en route to Stoke. Half a mile later, the OH marker was sighted - arrowed towards them and mighty were the wails that echoed down the valley. Oh Yes, Oh Dearly Hold Your Hands Up, the Bird brain had Blue-footed booby** bird boobed.

The longs had failed to see the faded grey cat litter marks turning into the footpath after two hundred yards. Yes, I know (now) it should have been a check but didn't want it there when the trail came back on itself.
But never mind, shades of The Bard, methinks I do protest...

Cut back to the hash vanguard and gaily didst the prancing Bird continue his guileless fool's errand, liberally dispensing flour as if it had gone out of fashion (it was ruddy heavy mush, if you must know).

Amongst the elephant grass
The hashers hurtled past
Confronted with the L1 L2 impasse
The legion stood aghast...**

For those that were there - if they care, the L legend explain-ed:
L1 = A Walk on the Wild Side and L2 = Sod it, let's just get on with it. 

The first L1 took the intrepid disposed onto the now overgrown but former footpath skirting through the woods beside Netherton House before merging with the Templer Way.

The second L1 had been intended as a 'beat the tide' section but proved to be a gentle meander along the sand into Hearn Field.

IN TRAIL
Fallen Woman did well to get round the multi-terrain short of over four miles as did Piltdown, Georgie and Coldtits, who had to rush back for the mother-in-law back at the homestead. We were blessed with lovely weather and timely sunset with great views over the Teign en route.

By Arch Brook VP (as identified in flour) they paused to wonder before the brave stumbled up the Teignharvey 'road' Stoke bound. The tarmac worshippers' prayer was answered with the plunge down Forches Hill and the road run in back to the Goose. Goodbye, that's all he wrote.
 
By the way, how did you all fare with the 'water jump' just before Forches Hill? Pretty nasty if you were going too fast!

Finally released from his floury impost, the Bird fled, fearfully looking over his shoulder for the pursuing horde which never appeared.

Yes, Oh Dearly I told You So, a few did make the car park in the fast fading light but darkness reigned when the longs finally completed their journey. My apologies all you longs - my error, not yours.

Opening just for us, the Goose was welcoming and the whisper had already gone out - They've got Legend!
The 'bring your own grub' route was generous indeed by the management and a table was set for the de luxe confectionery and birthday cake for T Humper and Forrest - Happy Birthday to both!
I had brought most of a Mediterranean Vegetable Quiche (left over from Dear old Mum's meal) which was sampled by so many that I was left with a tiny morsel.

*No Panzers here!
**Yes, a real bird - I did not know that.
***It looked so good when I typed it after 4 pints of Leg End. Now I'm not so sure Shirley.

POSTSCRIPT
Well, after completing five hashes after the End of the World darkness, the dread news on Tuesday sent shock waves through the hashing fraternity. GM Shitfaced collapsed on his sofa in a beer-induced coma after unwisely communicating with a demented Bird - sorry about that GM but I was on the liquid of life as well.
As for the words, they were not possible. A dread malaise took hold and morbid were my thoughts. But better late than ... sorry everyone.

So, finally, in the words of the Prophet Gerry, singalong with me:

When you hash through a storm
Hold your head up high
And don't be afraid of the dark
At the end of a hash
There's a golden sky
And the sweet silver song of a lark
Hash on through the wind
Hash on through the rain
Though your dreams be tossed and blown
Hash on, hash on
With hope in your heart
And you'll never hash alone..

The punchline quite simply: FIVE HASHES AND NO FUNERAL

ON ON to Monday 14th September from the Rugglestone Inn, Widecombe in the Moor with Hare Pisswell.








HASH SUBS

HASH SUBS £25 and for your assistance you can now use the BACS payment system to pay please.
Details as follows.... Hash Account number 69068186 Sort code 55-70-01 NOTE you must use your HASH NAME as a reference. Many thanks Three-Some & Satnav

TVH3 HABERDASHERY LINK

NEW MISMANAGEMENT & CONTACT TELS.

Grand Master Shitfaced mobile 07973 682201
Vice G M Winfield mobile 07855355338
On Sec Piltdown Man mobile 07773038756
R A Organiser Teapot
R A Manpig
R A Forrest Stump
R A Fallen Woman
Hash Cash Threesome
Hash Tax Satnav
Trail Raiser Doris
Haberdashery Zoot
Song Master Pork Torpedo
Social Sec T. Humper
Spider /Web Bluebird
Life President Pottsie
Vice President K C sadly not with us

JESSE'S DD FROM THE TALLY HO!

EXPLANATION OF ARCHIVE TVH3 SITES

GREATHASHGOD: A dedicated site (presently mothballed and serves as archive content only) with all TVH3 content. Mostly photos from each Monday's hash but also some video clips. Named after our Life President Pottsie.

PRECONDEROTOUS: Containing the entire archive of TVH3 of some 1000 vid clips and over 5000 posts and photos. Started on November 11th 2007, the site is active with Bluebird's personal content but the archive content is fascinating and preserved, well worth a look.

Fukarwi

Fukarwi

REARENDER

REARENDER

TEAPOT

TEAPOT

SOAPY

SOAPY

MOULDY DICK

MOULDY DICK

MELONPICKER

MELONPICKER

FALLEN WOMAN

FALLEN WOMAN

DORIS

DORIS

BROKEN MAN

BROKEN MAN

ARCHANGEL

ARCHANGEL

ABLE SEMEN

ABLE SEMEN

Previously unreleased clip - Vicky's naming from the Sea Trout

FOR TVH3 HABERDASHERY CONTACT ZOOT

FOR TVH3 HABERDASHERY CONTACT ZOOT

CTRL HTML MY REF.

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