A WARM WELCOME FROM TVH3

Welcome to the Teign Valley Hash House Harriers of glorious South Devon. You are guaranteed a warm welcome and a great hash experience. We are the 'Party Hash' and we run from pubs all over Torbay, Dartmoor and the Teign Valley every Monday evening at 7.15pm. Our trails are marked with flour, chalk or sawdust and take in woodland, streams, byways, bridle paths and rolling countryside. We cater for all abilities, you needn't worry about keeping up, a leisurely walk with others or a good paced run if you're fit - you choose. The run duration is anything from 30 minutes to an hour and the distance is normally between 3-6 miles depending on whether you decide to take a short or long trail. Your first run is free, so come along and give it a go! After the run hashers enjoy a drink and food in the pub. On many occasions, the pub will lay on a 'Hash Menu', food specially for hashers.

WHAT TO EXPECT AT YOUR FIRST HASH

Starts soon after 7:15 pm each Monday.
The Grandmaster will gather the hash together in a circle and welcome Virgins & Visitors to TVH3 and inform the group of pertinent news or upcoming events.
Hares will announce details or the trail, number of long and short splits and regroups.

Down-Downs - sometimes at the circle but usually in the pub after the run. Hashers and harriets (lady hashers) have a half pint and under age hashers have a soft drink or water. If you are driving, just ask the RA for water.

A Down-Down is a means of punishing, rewarding, or merely recognizing an individual for any action or behavior. Once awarded, the downdown must be drunk without pause, otherwise the RA may take action!

Individuals may be recognized for outstanding service, or for their status as a visitor or newcomer.

Down-Downs also serve as punishment for misdemeanours real, imagined, or blatantly made up.

Such transgressions may include: wearing new shoes, pointing with a finger, or the use of real names rather than hash names.

Hash Names

The use of real names (nerd name) during an event is discouraged, and members are typically given a new "hash name," usually in deference to a particularly notorious escapade, a personality trait, or their physical appearance.

Members are named after attending the hash on several occasions or if something noteworthy occurs to prompt a naming.

Other hashers may share stories or observations about the individual, with the final name being chosen by general consensus from all suggestions put forward by the hash.

NEWCOMERS TO THE HASH
Completely new to hashing? Don't know what to expect? Worried, shy or nervous? You needn't be as all newcomers or virgins as they are known, will receive a warm welcome. When the hashers are called to make a circle - about 7:15 pm each Monday, the Grand Master will welcome all hashers and after various notices about forthcoming events etc are dealt with, he will ask if there are any visitors from other hashes or virgins present. You will be asked to come forward and be introduced to the hash. A tip to remember, don't wear new trainers as these are frowned upon by the RA (Religious Advisor) and will incur a sprinkling of flour over them. That's all there is to it and you can then step back and enjoy the run and the social get together after in the On Down (the pub). Whatever your pace, there are certain to be others who will keep you company along the trail. Walk, jog or run - it's up to you.
Hashing is all about making friends and having fun, so just turn up any Monday and have a go.

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WW2 AIRFIELD REVISITED, DAS PANZERKAMPFWAGEN TRUNDLES AGAIN & A HOCKNEY MASTERPIECE

Run #1842 Monday 31st August from Little Haldon, OD Devon Arms, Teignmouth

At long last, after miraculously surviving yet another world 'war', das Panzerkampfwagen trundled into the shell hole masquerading as a car park at Little Haldon. Oh Yes, Oh Dearly Distressed, reports of Bobby's demise had Shirley been exaggerated. Struggling out of the unMOTable, black smoke belching machine of woe, the Rottenf├╝hrer stood tall without his de rigueur Heroes of Telemark ski poles.*

If you couldn't spot the turn-off into the shell hole, you Shirley couldn't miss the imposing figure of Piltdown Man at the entrance, waving the Panzers in.

The final roll-call:
Piltdown, Georgie P, Manpig, Beefy, Strap-on, Wetfart, SM Ellie, Bobby, Polyfella, Melon Picker, Soapy, Ollie (welcome back the aforementioned five), Artful Dogger, Plonker, Pisswell, BroadS, T Humper, I-Poo'd, Screwed, BB.  Slip on Me - 21 in all.

I was too far away to hear the hares' trail briefing so missed the finer points of the exercise but had an uneasy feeling of what lay in store out there in the wilds of Little Haldon.

Blessed release and the shorts were Shirley shuffled out of the back of the shell hole while the longs surged majestically out onto the tarmac and hard right up the dividing lane between the golf course and the former Teignmouth aerodrome.

The majesty was short-lived however, as a rather pernicious check halted the cavalry in their tracks. The FRBs were dispatched and at long last the ON ON was called - into the scrub heath of the 1940's airfield. Oh the pain of the off-road, Oh Dearly I Did Not Like It Up Me and the tarmac loving Bird was reduced to a mere shuffle as the Young Guns, Manpig, Beefy and Polyfella swept by.

But never mind, it was called hashing and it was a last, lingering, lovely evening of a tormented summer on planet Earth, Oh Dearly Waxing Lyrical.

The mini tour of the airfield completed, we were back to where we had nearly started at the B3192 and there was Piltdown to shepherd his flock across the murderous Highway to Heaven.

As we passed, Piltdown gave the secret code: 'At the solar panel farm, make sure..' and the rest of the message was swallowed by the wind.

Off into the woods we plunged and a quick chat with Polyfella as nettles and twisting paths were negotiated at pace.

Into the clear and the solar panel farm loom-ed large in the gunsight  It was fortunate indeed that Artful Dogger was there already to reveal the vital missing part of the message. 'Keep to the outside of the field.' Well done that man! And there it was - a well concealed gap in the hedge and the trail true.

Meanwhile, several minutes earlier, Plonker had careered into the clearing and sped past the solar panels. He was still smoothly accelerating towards Dawlish Water before he realized that there may be a problem Houston.. sigh.

Hurdling logs and swerving round shorts - Hi Bobby, Georgy, T Humper, I-Poo'd, Spud, Wetfart, Ollie - we lurched towards the advertised attraction of the VP and Beefy photo-op. The Heroes of Telemark were being arranged just as a renegade mix 'n' match S/L peered round the corner. Oh generously indeed did Beefy welcome the interloper** into his framed creation.

The finished Hockney style artwork reveal-ed five semi-silhouetted figures set against a dramatic cloud formation with the setting sun astride the horizon. The dying orange shafts pierced and accentuated the figures - Oh bravo, Beefy, a masterpiece Shirley!

But I digress and back to the action. Out onto a back lane we emerged with a make your minds up check. Down, way way down or up, that was the question. Beefy and the Bird hovered [sic] while Artful Dogger, abetted by Manpig 'It could be down and right,' decided to risk it and go as biscuits. Polyfella drifted up and calls came back from both directions: ON ONE - ON TWO... Melon Picker appeared and enquired what the odds were. 'Four to seven up' came the bookmaking Bird's reply and satisfied with that, Melon went up.
It all went horribly quiet down the hill and then Polyfella called ON ON and we left the hapless duo to their sad fate...sigh.

Spiralling down into the woods, I was glad I had brought the head torch as a tumble was on the cards in the fading light under the trees.

And there was Piltdown plus chariot again, directing us over a gate and more scrub heath. The longs had now broken down and it was Beefy, Polyfella and the not cruising Bird who teamed up for the final frontier run for home.

Fortunately (again for me) Beefy was there to call the ON HOME as another arrow would have taken me right onto the outgoing short trail...whatamistakatomaka that would Shirley have been.

The shell hole was welcoming and it was a fulsome four miler plus as we consulted our tech and awaited the returnees. Strap-On (Gold Star performance) and BroadS (I know how you felt old son) preceded the unfortunate Manpig / Artful team-up and Wetfart (I know where I am ok!) boldly declared that he'd completed the short of about four miles (!) as did Screwed and a host of golden daffodils.

Nine declared their undying devotion and completion of the undulating, scenic long: Beefy, Plonker (last home but then it's a long way back from Dawlish Water), Artful, Polyfella (quite pleased to be able to keep up with him and Beefy even though they covered more ground), Pisswell, SM Ellie, BroadS and Manpig.

A few lingered in the twilight lit shell hole as the convoy trickled down the hill to the Devon Arms.
The snug cum snooker table room was ours to command and the fine Teignworthy ales, Gun Dog 4.3 abv and Deck Hand 4.5 abv ensured satisfaction guaranteed. Many a beer-induced tale was spun and Wetfart proved to me that he was no fool (and walked across my swimming pool***) in recalling television shows from the stone age.

POSTSCRIPT
A well-judged mix and match long/short trail over varied terrain which was taken advantage of by Melon Picker and Ollie.
The OD pub was fine for our needs and we would have supped in the garden but for the advancing autumnal chill. Thank you, Georgie and Piltdown, top marks for your efforts.

*That was a helluva intro Bobby, but you failed to make the pubberido - Disappointed!
**Melon Picker - who actually did rather well out there - though it pains me to say it.
***Jesus Christ Superstar you fools.

ON ON to next week and the Wild Goose at Combeinteignhead with T Humper.


HASH SUBS

HASH SUBS £25 and for your assistance you can now use the BACS payment system to pay please.
Details as follows.... Hash Account number 69068186 Sort code 55-70-01 NOTE you must use your HASH NAME as a reference. Many thanks Three-Some & Satnav

TVH3 HABERDASHERY LINK

NEW MISMANAGEMENT & CONTACT TELS.

Grand Master Shitfaced mobile 07973 682201
Vice G M Winfield mobile 07855355338
On Sec Piltdown Man mobile 07773038756
R A Organiser Teapot
R A Manpig
R A Forrest Stump
R A Fallen Woman
Hash Cash Threesome
Hash Tax Satnav
Trail Raiser Doris
Haberdashery Zoot
Song Master Pork Torpedo
Social Sec T. Humper
Spider /Web Bluebird
Life President Pottsie
Vice President K C sadly not with us

JESSE'S DD FROM THE TALLY HO!

EXPLANATION OF ARCHIVE TVH3 SITES

GREATHASHGOD: A dedicated site (presently mothballed and serves as archive content only) with all TVH3 content. Mostly photos from each Monday's hash but also some video clips. Named after our Life President Pottsie.

PRECONDEROTOUS: Containing the entire archive of TVH3 of some 1000 vid clips and over 5000 posts and photos. Started on November 11th 2007, the site is active with Bluebird's personal content but the archive content is fascinating and preserved, well worth a look.

Fukarwi

Fukarwi

REARENDER

REARENDER

TEAPOT

TEAPOT

SOAPY

SOAPY

MOULDY DICK

MOULDY DICK

MELONPICKER

MELONPICKER

FALLEN WOMAN

FALLEN WOMAN

DORIS

DORIS

BROKEN MAN

BROKEN MAN

ARCHANGEL

ARCHANGEL

ABLE SEMEN

ABLE SEMEN

Previously unreleased clip - Vicky's naming from the Sea Trout

FOR TVH3 HABERDASHERY CONTACT ZOOT

FOR TVH3 HABERDASHERY CONTACT ZOOT

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