Run #1847 Monday 5th October from Ipplepen FC with hares Wet Johnny and Erection
Court was held once more out in the far-flung but welcoming kingdom of the Penners, those Heroes of Ipplepen.
Dread Draco continued to terrorize and the checklist of edicts grows. But where there's a will, there is Shirley a way and the Penners' Party would not be thwarted.
Great were the preparations that had taken place to engineer the evening's entertainment and every last detail of the operation had been duly scrutinized by Captain W Johnny to ensure smooth sailing. Why, even a batch of Forrest's finest flour concoction* had been imported, complete with deluxe packaging.**
Thus was the stage set and merely the players required to put the play in motion, Oh Dearly Get your Popcorn and Take Your Seats...
THE PLAYERS
Even more tricky than usual as the Bird brain was not concentrating on the task Shirley. But never mind, arm-ed with a prompt vid clip from Beefy, the roll herewith with advance apologies to any omitted:
GM Shitfaced, Piltdown, Georgy, Teapot - yes, back again, SatNav, 3Sum, Beefy, BroadS, Fukarwi, SM Ellie, Popeye, Wigwam, Gaga4It, Forrest 'n' Muttley but no Wood Lend - studying, Penners five: Wet Johnny, Erection, Ravi, Roxanne and young Harry, Manpig, BB, Big End and NED, Well Hopped, Coldtits, Archangel - on time, I-Poo'd, T Humper, Getting Wet, Jane, Screwed, Strap-On - gotcha this week and flying FRB Artful Dogger.
A grey day, full of foreboding and I must shamefully admit that I even considered giving it a miss, Oh Shirley sacrilege.
Forrest and the Bird were first to arrive and shortly after, Captain Johnny appeared, having just finished the trail.
Shadowy figures emerged from their chariots and a bewildering array of head torches strobed the autumn evening air. Ahh, the thrill of the impending trail and the accompanying adrenaline rush, it's Shirley showtime hashers!
Captain Johnny briefed his cohorts and confidence was high. Two long short splits, a walkabout roundabout a mile and a half, a short of maybe three baby and the main dish, the lordly long, estimated at just short of six miles.
And that was that - and with a battle cry of 'Vamanos muchachos, vaya con dios', what a glorious sight the covid adjusted cavalcade made as they precipitated out into the Ipplepen bocage.
They made all of seventy five yards before the first 'make your minds up' check. Fukarwi thought he was on a winner and headed for the village (never to be sighted again) though the snorting cavalry pawed the ground impatiently, awaiting news from the other scouts.
ON ON was called straight on towards the main road, but whoa! your steeds as another check halted the impending charge yet again, merely a hundred yards up yon lane.
The Bird thought he had seen this game before and veered sharply to port up a narrow track. There were unfortunately two factors that conspired against the road running loony tune - a palpably inadequate head torch and an inability to see beyond two feet...sigh
With a drumming of petulant hooves they waited back at the check as the returning Idiot announced: 'Nothing up here, nary a blob...' Along came hare Erection to witness the debacle. Not a word did he utter, but merely pointed solemnly up whence the Bird had come...Oh dear, whatamistakatomaka..
Harsh words were uttered (by the Bird) and various jocular insults cast and, finally, the hash was underway, Oh Dearly Hash Hiatus.
Spearheading the action, Archangel led the pack north towards Abbotskerswell. Overtaking in the confines of a three foot wide muddy path was problematic, though hashers were hardly dawdling, were you Strap-On and BroadS? It was quite hectic early stages as excited hash hounds dashed back and forth and Forrest very nimbly hurdled one such hound - could have been nasty..
The A381 was timely as the FRBs - Artful, Beefy, Big End and Ned - were just getting a head of steam up and were about to slip the field.
Beefy admitted playing the noughts and crosses game and impressive were his first few checks: O X O X O X which resulted in him travelling a good half mile farther than the majority of longs.
The last of Beefy's hat trick of X's was at the Two Mile Oak and even the Bird thought he was good to go until the head torch wavered and return-ed.
Popeye and Well Hopped had been on a good run of checks but Popeye finally chose a wrong 'un and the pack shredded apart. Ultimately, there were four hashers and the red l.e.d collared Ned left at the head of proceedings.
Adequate seemed the Bird light until Big End's searchlight strength beam made it seem as luminous as a hospital ward night light. Big End said what the Bird had been thinking: 'You're going to need a better head torch!'
But never mind, the virgin trail, hitherto unseen and untrodden, alluringly beckoned the twelve legged party onwards until Artful paused with a turbo assist problem.
On and on through plantation and copse, highway, lane and track coursed the three hashers with red l.e.d Ned showing them how it was to be done.
Turning for home up Moor road and a chance to singalong with me:
𝑾𝒆 𝒄𝒂𝒎𝒆 𝒖𝒑𝒐𝒏 𝒕𝒘𝒐 𝒄𝒉𝒊𝒍𝒅𝒓𝒆𝒏*** 𝒐𝒇 𝑮𝒐𝒅
𝑻𝒉𝒆𝒚 𝒘𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒘𝒂𝒍𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒍𝒐𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒓𝒐𝒂𝒅
𝑨𝒏𝒅 𝑰 𝒂𝒔𝒌𝒆𝒅 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒎, 𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒈𝒐𝒊𝒏𝒈
𝑨𝒏𝒅 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒚 𝒕𝒐𝒍𝒅 𝒎𝒆
𝑾𝒆'𝒓𝒆 𝒈𝒐𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒐𝒏 𝒅𝒐𝒘𝒏 𝒕𝒐 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒇𝒐𝒐𝒕𝒃𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒄𝒍𝒖𝒃
𝑾𝒆'𝒓𝒆 𝒈𝒐𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒐 𝒋𝒐𝒊𝒏 𝒊𝒏 𝒂 𝒓𝒐𝒄𝒌 '𝒏' 𝒓𝒐𝒍𝒍 𝒃𝒂𝒏𝒅
𝑾𝒆'𝒓𝒆 𝒈𝒐𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒐 𝒄𝒂𝒎𝒑 𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒐𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒍𝒂𝒏𝒅
𝑾𝒆'𝒓𝒆 𝒈𝒐𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒐 𝒕𝒓𝒚 𝒂𝒏' 𝒈𝒆𝒕 𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒔𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒔 𝒇𝒓𝒆𝒆
𝑾𝒆 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒓𝒅𝒖𝒔𝒕
𝑾𝒆 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒈𝒐𝒍𝒅𝒆𝒏
𝑨𝒏𝒅 𝒘𝒆'𝒗𝒆 𝒈𝒐𝒕 𝒕𝒐 𝒈𝒆𝒕 𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒔𝒆𝒍𝒗𝒆𝒔
𝑩𝒂𝒄𝒌 𝒕𝒐 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒇𝒐𝒐𝒕𝒊𝒆 𝒄𝒍𝒖𝒃 𝒈𝒂𝒓𝒅𝒆𝒏..
No? You're very hard to please out there.
Archangel and Screwed teamed up to get round the pretty testing long with an extra bit tagged on to collect recovering from injury Bella for the final stages of the trail.
BroadS finished with arms raised aloft in triumph but with puzzling news of Manpig. They had run together for part of the long but had somehow been separated at some point - as for Fukarwi, he also strangely disappeared into the Twilight Zone of lost hashers.
.
I could not stay to enjoy the footie club hospitality or even a beer or two, but am assured that a great time was had by all individuals who dropped by post hash.
Many thanks WJ and Erection for an exacting and well-marked trail. Glad I made it!
POSTSCRIPT
Just outside the club entrance, as I was driving back, SM Ellie appeared. She had run the long (as expected) and though on her Trail of the Lonesome Pine, she was a happy hasher and had her own adventure out there.
*Sawdust you fools
**Forrest's battered and torn rucksack
***Coldtits and Gaga4It of course
𝗢𝗡 𝗢𝗡 always in hope to next Monday 12th October from Lawns End Park, Bishopsteignton, Teignmouth TQ14 9PJ with hare Coldtits. Details to follow.
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