𝐋𝐀𝐒𝐓 𝐇𝐔𝐑𝐑𝐀𝐇! 𝐂𝐇𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐌𝐀𝐒 𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐈𝐋 𝐒𝐔𝐂𝐂𝐄𝐄𝐃𝐒 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐇𝐄𝐋𝐏 𝐎𝐅 𝐌𝐘 𝐅𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐒

Run #1854 Monday December 21st from Maidencombe beach CP with Bluebird und der Rottenführer Bobby Woll

𝑺𝒑𝒆𝒄𝒊𝒂𝒍 𝒈𝒖𝒆𝒔𝒕 𝒉𝒂𝒔𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒂𝒔𝒔𝒊𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒏𝒄𝒆 𝒇𝒓𝒐𝒎 𝒁𝒊𝒈𝒈𝒚 (𝑮𝒓𝒆𝒆𝒏 𝑴𝒂𝒏)

 

Grisled* veterans, hash heroes past, present and yet to come, stood stoically in a far flung chariot tether under steadily falling rain awaiting their fate. Some had travelled from afar, in faint hope of festive cheer in a plague ridden land of woe.

 

However, it did not look promising. In fact, to be brutally honest, the Bird thought he was staring disaster in the face. A Host of Golden Daffodils gilded obstacles awaited the duo on their Last Hurrah! hash. A sea of mud would Shirley be off-putting to a few and the weather looked pretty unappetizing - sustained drizzle, wind strength increasing and the threat of heavier outbreaks of rain. The only saving grace was that it was unseasonably mild at some 12 C.

 

Bulletins across the bay from Bobby became fractured and then suddenly ceased. Garbled last words from the Panzer ace: 'No oil, der Panzer is seizing up, try to get there later...'

 

Somewhere Over the Rainbow, Bluebird waited in his silver chariot. The plan, such as it was, had been put in place and now all that was required were the players - but would they appear...

 

They trickled [sic] into the car park and the fear of not making double figures was groundless. The Last Hurrah! roll call:

GM Shitfaced, Piltdown, Geogie, SM Ellie, Wet Johnny, Erection, Gianluca, Ben, Ollie, Beefy, Pisswell, Archangel, ManPig, Fukarwi, Bobby Woll, BB, Wide Receiver and Able.

B Roads Hit had more bad luck, succumbing to lurgy as did 69 up on the moor. Steph was working, Fallen Woman had a little emergency, Triple Jump and the mysterious Lady Jane demurred and Artful Dodger ran [sic] out of time.

 

The Penners came to the aid of the party, despatching a white chariot raiding party with Wet Johnny, Erection and three elves.

 

Bobby Woll slewed to a halt below the anti-tank barrier with black smoke pouring from the rear and the game was good to agogo.

 

The Grand Master, sporting his staff of Moses authority, greeted the mini pack, playing for time as we awaited Beefy and Pisswell who were Shirley en routey**.

 

He who should not be nam-ed was skulking - I mean sheltering under a tree and was summoned. The glad tidings gave little cheer. Three trails were on offer: Two miles for the walkers, three for the shorts and about three and a half for the longs. But fearing greatly for the demise of the walkers, both hares would escort same to their destination high up above the combe.

 

Hashers were reassured that they were safe from falling off the cliff trail into the sea and, with a silent prayer, they were released into the mud, drizzle and darkness.

 

The shorts and longs headed south towards Watcombe leaving a tiny band of walkers - the GM still recovering from a back injury and Able. Sherpa backpack laden, Bobby and the Bird provided escort and the pioneers fearlessly struck out northwards, en route to the famed 'Suit of Armour' viewpoint.

The climbs, though slow going, were safe. It was the descents that were the problem. Progress was painfully slow and as altitude was gained, we looked back, expecting to see the longs at any moment.

 

What we didn't realize was that some of the longs had (quite understandably as cat litter goes a nondescript grey when wet) gone off trail after entering the orchard and had lost time - fortunately for the hares.

 

With nigh on half an hour elapsed to cover three quarters of a mile, Plan B was initiated and the rallying cream liqueur and mince pie stop was brought back a valley and a hill.

 

Able had a slight disagreement with the final stile but was muddied, not bloodied and there below us were the brightly lit trio of cruise ships - our Three Wise Men bringing their gift of light.

 

The sealed cream liqueur was served up with Tesco's kitchen gloves - first to avail himself being the GM himself who had a generous double hit of the £3.89 a bottle brew*** HA!

 

Just as we began to fret, approaching lights at last were sighted and ManPig, Wet Johnny plus Ben and Gianluca preceded Beefy and Wide who had been further delayed by a Maidencombe beach detour - possibly hoping that the Bird had arranged a boat for a cruise ship tour... sigh.

 

And there were Piltdown and Georgie who had safely navigated the short unscathed and that was a great relief. Erection arrived with Olly, the tiniest hasher seen for many a year and he had never seen anything like it before, but was, like Gianluca and Ben, oozing enthusiasm. Future hashing material those three, mark my words.

 

Just one hasher missing - where was SM Ellie? No reports of her progress from other hashers as we kept looking for her head torch. The longs carried on and some shorts and walkers retreated to the crossroads, keeping high.

 

Erection alerted me that a light was climbing up to us but when I investigated, found it was from a cruise ship!

 

Finally spotted her and we shouted across the valley - was that you and did you hear me SM Ellie?

 

Down Steep Hill did we wend, our journey nigh on done and past the locked and barred Thatched Tavern to find that Ziggy (our brilliant Green Man) had a welcome fire pit ablaze. 

 

In wonder, hashers drew near, blinking in surprise. Shirley it could not be true? Why yes, an On Down of sorts and there was just enough Proper Job to go round for the 'spaced out' TVH.

 

Thanks Zigs, you were the Main Man and I owe you one.

 

Bobby Woll had to feed the Panzer more oil but got back home safely. Good boy Bobby!

 

Walking homewards, a happy hare was singing:

𝑺𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒓𝒂𝒊𝒏𝒃𝒐𝒘

𝑩𝒍𝒖𝒆𝒃𝒊𝒓𝒅 𝒇𝒍𝒊𝒆𝒔 ...

 

*archaic like me.

**Slightly late as checked the Labrador Bay CP first!

***O'Connor's Irish Country Cream 70cl £3.89 virtually the same taste as Baileys - go for it!

 

𝐏𝐎𝐒𝐓𝐒𝐂𝐑𝐈𝐏𝐓

I must admit that I had been dreading the evening as in my mind, so many things could have gone Pete Tong. It was only after talking with Wiggy that I was confident of providing the little extras for the trail.

Thank you all for keeping the faith and coming out on such an inhospitable evening - every one of you made the evening special and ultimately successful.

 

𝐎𝐍 𝐎𝐍 to next week and Wet Johnny's trail from Steamer Quay long stay car park at Totnes. Details/map to follow.

 

𝐀 𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐘 𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐘 𝐂𝐇𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐌𝐀𝐒 𝐓𝐎 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐀𝐋𝐋 and let's hope 2021 brings better tidings.