A WARM WELCOME FROM TVH3

Welcome to the Teign Valley Hash House Harriers of glorious South Devon. You are guaranteed a warm welcome and a great hash experience. We are the 'Party Hash' and we run from pubs all over Torbay, Dartmoor and the Teign Valley every Monday evening at 7.15pm. Our trails are marked with flour, chalk or sawdust and take in woodland, streams, byways, bridle paths and rolling countryside. We cater for all abilities, you needn't worry about keeping up, a leisurely walk with others or a good paced run if you're fit - you choose. The run duration is anything from 30 minutes to an hour and the distance is normally between 3-6 miles depending on whether you decide to take a short or long trail. Your first run is free, so come along and give it a go! After the run hashers enjoy a drink and food in the pub. On many occasions, the pub will lay on a 'Hash Menu', food specially for hashers.

WHAT TO EXPECT AT YOUR FIRST HASH

Starts soon after 7:15 pm each Monday.
The Grandmaster will gather the hash together in a circle and welcome Virgins & Visitors to TVH3 and inform the group of pertinent news or upcoming events.
Hares will announce details or the trail, number of long and short splits and regroups.

Down-Downs - sometimes at the circle but usually in the pub after the run. Hashers and harriets (lady hashers) have a half pint and under age hashers have a soft drink or water. If you are driving, just ask the RA for water.

A Down-Down is a means of punishing, rewarding, or merely recognizing an individual for any action or behavior. Once awarded, the downdown must be drunk without pause, otherwise the RA may take action!

Individuals may be recognized for outstanding service, or for their status as a visitor or newcomer.

Down-Downs also serve as punishment for misdemeanours real, imagined, or blatantly made up.

Such transgressions may include: wearing new shoes, pointing with a finger, or the use of real names rather than hash names.

Hash Names

The use of real names (nerd name) during an event is discouraged, and members are typically given a new "hash name," usually in deference to a particularly notorious escapade, a personality trait, or their physical appearance.

Members are named after attending the hash on several occasions or if something noteworthy occurs to prompt a naming.

Other hashers may share stories or observations about the individual, with the final name being chosen by general consensus from all suggestions put forward by the hash.

NEWCOMERS TO THE HASH
Completely new to hashing? Don't know what to expect? Worried, shy or nervous? You needn't be as all newcomers or virgins as they are known, will receive a warm welcome. When the hashers are called to make a circle - about 7:15 pm each Monday, the Grand Master will welcome all hashers and after various notices about forthcoming events etc are dealt with, he will ask if there are any visitors from other hashes or virgins present. You will be asked to come forward and be introduced to the hash. A tip to remember, don't wear new trainers as these are frowned upon by the RA (Religious Advisor) and will incur a sprinkling of flour over them. That's all there is to it and you can then step back and enjoy the run and the social get together after in the On Down (the pub). Whatever your pace, there are certain to be others who will keep you company along the trail. Walk, jog or run - it's up to you.
Hashing is all about making friends and having fun, so just turn up any Monday and have a go.

A CASE OF MISTAKEN IDENTITY & YOU CAN DROWN IN A HALF INCH OF BEER!

Run #1909 Monday 21st March from Teign Bridge CP, OD the Kings Arms.

REPLACEMENT HARES: Shitfaced & Arkangel
 
Who wuz there: Shitfaced, Arkangel, Bluebird, Man-Pig, Cheeri-Beerio, Piltdown Man, Georgy-Porgy, Smellie, Broadshit, Only Here for the Beer, Melonpicker, Soapy, Teapot, Wetfart, Beefy, Pisswell, Wet-Johnny, Manopause, Rambo, Fallen Woman, Broken Man, Piddler, Coldtits, Slip On Me, The Virgin Mary (returnee from 2008!), Strap-On, Mrs Strap-On, Big End, Well Hopped, Ned, Able Semen. A howling Bluebird impersonator (we never did find out who this was - a civilian as mad as Bluebird?)
 
THE CIRCLE
In the absence of our original covid stricken hares, Shitfaced stepped in to lay the trail. Once again most of it was delegated. This time to Arkangel. This was mainly on account of the fact that Shitfaced was still recovering from a week's worth of 40th birthday celebrations - including an excellent party at Forde Hall. Thankyou Shitfaced. I guess that we'll now have to wait till your 50th for another week long party?
 
Arkangel was brief on the description of the trail. "Two long short splits". Piddler, as ever, wanted to know the full route of the trail; distance, topography, air temperature, sea temperature - the whole caboodle. But Arkangel was giving nothing away.
 
Just before the "off", Man-Pig delivered a rather sad announcement. Long term harriet of several Devon hashes, Number Two (Val Dean), had died on 8th March at Derriford Hospital. And, on that sombre note, the trail commenced.
 
THE TRAIL
 
DERANGED (1974)
The trail took us straight across the road from the car park and northwest along the western bank of the Teign. To our left we could hear shouts and bellowing of the deranged Bluebird over by the Stover canal.....or so we thought. That was until we eventually caught up with Bluebird at a check. So who was the deranged hasher? Shirley it must have been a hasher as he had a head torch. We never found out who the mystery impersonator was. We eventually concluded that it was almost certainly a non hasher.
After a mile, we came to the Walkers' split. The Walkers peeled off left towards Locks Bridge whilst the Longs and the Shorts followed the Teign along its banks to Ventiford Bridge. This was beginning to look like an anticlockwise re-run of Screwed and Bella's run from last year. However, the check at Ventiford Bridge had us all heading back towards Teigngrace. In Teigngrace an arrow took us over the railway line and the Stover canal before rejoining the Shorts. The return leg took us along the new cycle track which is built on the route of the disused railway line. It wasn't long before we were back on the old Exeter Road and the "OH" sign....but there was a catch. This was also the second Long/Short split.
 
The Shorts went left for 100 yards before arriving back at their cars. The Longs, meanwhile, embarked on a trek down to Jetty Marsh in Newton Abbot. This one and a half mile loop had us going down the western edge of the Stover canal and back up the eastern bank of the canal. And, for good measure, Arkangel put in an arrow leading down some steps at its furthest point. I was a little perplexed as I don't recall ever having gone down these steps before. Nevertheless, the arrows don't lie (usually). This turned out to be the shiggiest part of the trail and it was a Ha! Ha! Back up the steps to find the real trail. Sure enough, we'd missed an enormous arrow. This guided us onto the east bank for a fast trot back upto Exeter Road and the car park.
 
Well, that was the end of the official trail. However, for some reason, Pisswell had elected to run back to the pub. I was the second last to leave the car park. Only Pisswell's yellow AA van remained. Hence, imagine my surprise to find her standing outside the pub as I drove past? How perplexing. A down-down for next week methinks.
 
Well done last week's birthday boys, Arkangel and Shitfaced, for standing in and setting a worthy trail.
 
THE DOWN-DOWNS
Beefy awarded the Baby Bat hat to Georgy Porgy for startling him in the car. Georgy pulled a face and stated that 'I don't like beer!' WHAT? She then refused to drink out of a urine specimen container, choosing the normal glass. An apology was (after prompting) tendered to the completely innocent Bird who had also been mentioned for 'screeching' on trail.
 
IN THE FRAME SHIRLEY
On leaving the Teign Bridge CP en routey for the dash back to the bar, Pisswell was entering the CP and the Bird brain decided to give her a wide berth Bertha but managed to mount the kerbing instead. Two loud bangs ensued as the silver chariot crashed over... sigh. Shirley the Bird was in the frame!
But neigh, ever so neigh, Neddy, hold your horses. Pisswell enquired as to the whereabouts of the Virgin Mary [First Bible refs: Matthew (1:16; 18-25) and Luke (1:26-38)] but our harriet the Virgin Mary was not in the pub. 'Okay, where's Manopause then?' Oh lackaday, the Penners also were missing. Oh-oh, Pisswell would now have to resort to the third choice... Enter stage left One Idiot..
 
DEATH ON THE DOWN-DOWN (2022)
Did you know that you could drown in a half inch of beer? Nearly a first fatality on the DD as the Bird thrashed wildly in his beer bird bath.. not a pretty sight..
 
The lead up to the Jester's Hat destination left little doubt that Piddler was favourite. A catalogue of transgessions followed, including forgetting what the Grand Master was called... step forward Piddler please.
 
NEXT WEEK
A gap in the diary filled once more by Rentahare© Inc.
We will be at the Divers Arms, 86 Babbacombe Downs Rd, Torquay TQ1 3LU Confus-ed? Formerly Route 16 which also may not ring any bells, but before that it was the Coach and Horses where we have hashed from a few times in the past.
 
As usual, it's goodbye from Man-Pig and goodbye from me until next week's episode.
 
ON-ON!
 
POST SCRIPT: On hearing the news of Number Two's passing, Poacher has expressed a wish to lay a trail from Denbury in Number Two's memory. Watch this space for details.

MISMANAGEMENT UPDATED AGPU APRIL 4 2022

Grand Master Shitfaced mobile 07973 682201
Vice G M U Bend
On Sec Piltdown Man mobile 07773038756
R A Organiser Teapot
R A Manpig
R A Forrest Stump
R A Fallen Woman
Hash Cash Threesome
Hash Tax Pisswell
Trail Raiser Rambo
Haberdashery Zoot
Song Master Pork Torpedo
Social Sec Wet Johnny
Web /Web Master Bluebird

HASH SUBS 2022

This years membership, which is due now is £25 Alternatively you can pay £1 per week when attending. Samantha Zimbler Hash cash Threesum. On line payments Account name: TEIGN VALLEY HASH House Harriers Sort Code: 55-70-01 Account number: 69068186 Reference: your hash name

TVH3 HABERDASHERY LINK

JESSE'S DD FROM THE TALLY HO!

EXPLANATION OF ARCHIVE TVH3 SITES

GREATHASHGOD: A dedicated site (presently mothballed and serves as archive content only) with all TVH3 content. Mostly photos from each Monday's hash but also some video clips. Named after our Life President Pottsie.

PRECONDEROTOUS: Containing the entire archive of TVH3 of some 1000 vid clips and over 5000 posts and photos. Started on November 11th 2007, the site is active with Bluebird's personal content but the archive content is fascinating and preserved, well worth a look.

Fukarwi

Fukarwi

REARENDER

REARENDER

TEAPOT

TEAPOT

SOAPY

SOAPY

MOULDY DICK

MOULDY DICK

MELONPICKER

MELONPICKER

FALLEN WOMAN

FALLEN WOMAN

DORIS

DORIS

BROKEN MAN

BROKEN MAN

ARCHANGEL

ARCHANGEL

ABLE SEMEN

ABLE SEMEN

Previously unreleased clip - Vicky's naming from the Sea Trout

FOR TVH3 HABERDASHERY CONTACT ZOOT

FOR TVH3 HABERDASHERY CONTACT ZOOT

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