Run #1910 Monday 28th March from the Divers Arms at Babbacombe
LAST MINUTE HARES: Bluebird and Man-Pig
Who
wuz there: Bluebird, Man-Pig, Arkangel, Forrest Stump, Piltdown Man,
Georgy-Porgy, Smellie, Broadshit, Melonpicker, Soapy, Teapot, Wetfart,
Beefy, Pisswell, Rambo, Fallen Woman, Piddler, Coldtits, Able Semen, Big
End, Well Hopped, Ned, Ernie, Swinger, Polyfella, Tamsin (needs a
name), Satnav, Threesum (on-down only), Bobbiball (on-down only). PLUS
Strap-On!
THE CIRCLE
A
void week in the Hash Diary i.e. no hares. The demon duo of Dick
Dastardly and Mutley stepped in to lay the trail. An early improvised
on-down at Kents was changed at the last minute to the Divers Arms -
formerly Route 16; Coach and Horses and originally the Roughwood.. It
has been a long time since we ran from here. In fact, the last time
that many of us were in this pub was for Mavis's 40th birthday party
prior to him running off to New Zealand with Half Nelson.
Able
Semen had an announcement regarding The Devon Lunatics weekend
commencing on Friday 13th May 2022. It will kick-off with a run/pubcrawl
from the Mill-on-the-Exe on the Friday evening. It is a self-funded
pay-as-you-go affair so come for 1, 2 or all 3 days. More details to
follow on the Devon Lunatics Facebook page.
Man-Pig
then had an update regarding Number 2's funeral. Yes, it is now open
to the hash to attend. However, the chapel is small and can only
accommodate a maximum of 50 people. The funeral details have already
been posted on both the TVH3 and Ashburton Hash Facebook pages. It will
take place at in Newton Abbot at 2.30pm on Friday 8th April.
Thereafter, it is off to the Union Inn, Denbury for a rum or two to
celebrate Number 2's life. Dress attire is bright and colourful.
Threesum is co-ordinating numbers. Early indications are that the
threshold of 50 in the chapel might well be exceeded. Watch the TVH3
Facebook page for updates.
Over
to the remaining hare as Bluebird had run off to live lay the remaining
piece of the trail jigsaw. This, despite, having promised that the
Shorts trail had been completed the previous day. The remaining hare,
Man-Pig, explained:
First,
scoff - if you want food do not do the Longs. The kitchen closes at
8.30 but the chef will give us a 10 or 15 minute leeway. Anyone
arriving back at the pub after 8.45 would go hungry.Second, "the trail
- there is a Walkers, Shorts and a Longs. I have no idea about
distance as I had had no part in the Walkers and Shorts' trails".
Almost as much information as had been imparted by Arkangel the
previous week!
THE TRAIL
The
early parts of the trail had been laid by Bluebird in a combination of
blue chalk and cat litter. The latter parts of the trail had been laid
by Man-Pig in flour. The trail led past Babbacombe theatre and then
along Babbacombe Downs, past the cliff railway, and onwards past the
Model Village. A Long/Short split had the Shorts turning right down
towards Oddicombe Beach.
The
Longs carried on along St Marychurch Road before turning right onto
Petitor Road, past Torbay Golf club, and to a check on Redcliffe downs.
The trail then beared right and downhill taking us onto the commando
challenge on Oddicombe Beach. This comprised clambering over large
blocks of fallen sandstone from the collapsing cliff face. Normally
sandstone is fairly soft and smooth. Not this stuff. This appears to
contain sherds of flint. Whatever it is, it is like climbing over very
coarse sandpaper.
Despite
the trail being conducted at low tide, no one was afforded the luxury
of a simple run along the beach. The choices were: 1) get wet, probably
very wet or, 2) to clamber over the rockfall and risk breaking your
ankles. The state of the tide rather dictated the latter as being the
only plausible option.
Once
clear of the obstacle course, it was a simple run for Piddler and I
along Oddicombe Beach passing Piltdown Man and an injured Smellie on the
way. I was sure that I was the last of the Longs, but it later
transpired that Arkangel had taken up the role of tail-end-charlie and
cleared the rocks on his own.
At
the end of the beach, it was up the very steep Beach Road past the
Carey Arms. The Walkers continued up Beach Road and back to the pub.
Meanwhile, the Longs and the Shorts had to bear sharp left. This leads
to an area of wooded hillside and a climb up to open downs at Walls
Hill. Here we came across Tamsin. She was resting as she was still a
little weak whilst recovering after having contracted covid.
Soon
all three of us were on open ground and a number of other hashers
torches could be seen. We ran past the Babbabcombe cricket club
pavilion only to see Pisswell and Forrest Stump a little off trail and
running back to the pub. Melonpicker was in front of us and looking for
marks. With a little help from the hare, we got him back on trail just
before arriving at the last Long/Short split. Tamsin and Piddler
sensibly elected for the Shorts. Dastardly, or is that Mutley, decided
that he should sweep the Longs.
The
Last Long was a 3 mile loop. Leaving Walls Hill, the trail led through
woodland and the footpath that took us down to the car park on Ansteys
Cove Road (sometimes known as Palace Road). At the rear of the car
park the trail crossed the playing fields. The southern end of the
playing fields is bounded by Ilsham Road. The check here had been
kicked out. Good. There were Longs in front of me. The trail took a
left down Ilsham Road before an arrow took us into Ilsham Meadow - the
site of our first post third lockdown run - courtesy of Wigwam.
Almost
at the southern end of Ilsham Meadow, where Ilsham Road turns into
Meadfoot Sea Road, a check took the pack right and into the woodland of
Manor Gardens. The trail took us up a steep incline before exiting the
wood onto Lincombe Drive. Almost straight across the private drive and
up a very steep public footpath that leads up to Higher Lincombe Road.
An arrow now took us right and along Higher Lincombe Road before
dropping down left onto Ridgeway Road.
At
the apex of the first hairpin bend, another arrow. this time guiding
us down a rather overgrown public footpath. This took us down and onto
Higher Erith Road. Another arrow pointing to the right and we were
heading past Lincombe Road and onto the Babbacombe Road at Kents in
Wellswood. Arrows took us right and up Babbacombe Road. But not for
long.
Before
arriving at the entrance to the huge construction project, on the site
of the old Palace Hotel, a long curved arrow took us down another
public footpath. This was signposted "Footpath access to Ansteys Cove".
The footpath ended at the Ansteys Cove car park. An arrow with an "OH"
below it took us back up that part of Ansteys Cove Road that we had
just run down 25 minutes earlier.
This
time it was all the way up to the top of the road where it rejoins
Babbacombe Road. The marks took us up a slight uphill ascent until yet
another arrow pointed right and along 250 yards of footpath. This led
us back onto Walls Hill to rejoin the Shorts trail for the final 600
yards back to the pub.Back in the pub, I had thought that I had been
the last to be out on trail. Not so. Arriving back at the pub with
Forrest Stump, Pisswelll was aghast that she'd only recorded 2.83 miles.
U-turn, out of the pub and back unto the breach of Walls Hill to find
that elusive last Long/Short split.
Well done - dogged determination if ever there was.
THE DOWN-DOWNS
The Baby Bat Hat, perched upon Georgy was the first Deliverance (1972)
and manifold were the propos-ed culprits. Eighteen consumed chips
later and Wetfart was summoned for allegedly baring all. A note for
'hung like a donkey' if you please.
The
wise or wizened Wizard Piddler spun a tale of adventure and disaster
before finally getting to the point and awarding the Jester's Hat to
Pisswell for being late back to the pub. (see main text!).
Forrest
had smelt a rat cum sardines in brine as He who should not be nam-ed
approach-ed with the revered Hashit shirt in tow. I know you are mildly
interested or held captive in my text bubble, so I'll elaborate:
I
feed a one-legged seagull (I'm not the only one, so does BroadS)
sardines daily as he crash lands onto my flat roof. I then have to wipe
my hands on something - and, I think you've only sussed it - the closest
thing to hand the past week was ... No? Well please yourselves then.
Anyway,
rewind back to the Divers Inn and Bobby wheeling his Panzer cycle
through the doors into the pub. Wishing to come to the aid of der
Rottenfuhrer, I hastily provided a cover story to the management.
'He's
eighty five you know.' The bar manageress looked across at the
bewheeling apparition and retorted: 'Eighty five? That's amazing!'
Poor Bobby, and a stale pork pie caught him under the eye and Bobby bit the dust - or floor as Teapot presented that Little Shop of Horrors (1986) aka the doggie beer bowl.
Bobby
blanched and doggedly [now come on SIC you fools] prepared for the
worst. But then a shining light came upon the assembly and White Knight
(I know, a man of many parts) Piddler stepped forward, picked up the
doggie bowl and placed it in bewildered Bobby's clammy hands.
Whoa!
I didn't know it was that simple! And down it did young Bobby to the
accompanying chords of 'Hold it in your hand Mrs Murphy' Hurrah!
MP
comment: The Homing Horse Head Hat - although absent, rumour has it
that stabling has been found for it at Ka Ford in Maidencombe! (Dire
threats have been uttered by Wetfart who awarded the hat to the Idiot on
Awards Night).
POSTSCRIPT
Relieved to get this one done and dusted. It was quite a slog, what with the Hunt for Red October (1990)
and a DD at short notice; the pre-lay of the short trail on Sunday and
the live lay of the last section of the long on the night.
Mighty thanks go to co-hare MP who trekked over at 5 pm and stayed after laying his loop of the long.
The
chariot tether charge was iniquitous - as many of you rightly did
protest. Charges applicable to midnight! The Sheriff of Nottingham
evidently is alive and well in Torbay.
But never mind, the shares in RentaHare are steadily rising and we wait in the wings to come to the aid of the Hash.
Thank you all for making the journey.
NEXT WEEK
It's the Big Night, our AGPU from Ipplepen football club with hare Wet Johnny and the usual Penner suspects.
And now it's goodbye from Man-Pig and goodbye from me.
ON ON!
