A WARM WELCOME FROM TVH3

Welcome to the Teign Valley Hash House Harriers of glorious South Devon. You are guaranteed a warm welcome and a great hash experience. We are the 'Party Hash' and we run from pubs all over Torbay, Dartmoor and the Teign Valley every Monday evening at 7.15pm. Our trails are marked with flour, chalk or sawdust and take in woodland, streams, byways, bridle paths and rolling countryside. We cater for all abilities, you needn't worry about keeping up, a leisurely walk with others or a good paced run if you're fit - you choose. The run duration is anything from 30 minutes to an hour and the distance is normally between 3-6 miles depending on whether you decide to take a short or long trail. Your first run is free, so come along and give it a go! After the run hashers enjoy a drink and food in the pub. On many occasions, the pub will lay on a 'Hash Menu', food specially for hashers.

WHAT TO EXPECT AT YOUR FIRST HASH

Starts soon after 7:15 pm each Monday.
The Grandmaster will gather the hash together in a circle and welcome Virgins & Visitors to TVH3 and inform the group of pertinent news or upcoming events.
Hares will announce details or the trail, number of long and short splits and regroups.

Down-Downs - sometimes at the circle but usually in the pub after the run. Hashers and harriets (lady hashers) have a half pint and under age hashers have a soft drink or water. If you are driving, just ask the RA for water.

A Down-Down is a means of punishing, rewarding, or merely recognizing an individual for any action or behavior. Once awarded, the downdown must be drunk without pause, otherwise the RA may take action!

Individuals may be recognized for outstanding service, or for their status as a visitor or newcomer.

Down-Downs also serve as punishment for misdemeanours real, imagined, or blatantly made up.

Such transgressions may include: wearing new shoes, pointing with a finger, or the use of real names rather than hash names.

Hash Names

The use of real names (nerd name) during an event is discouraged, and members are typically given a new "hash name," usually in deference to a particularly notorious escapade, a personality trait, or their physical appearance.

Members are named after attending the hash on several occasions or if something noteworthy occurs to prompt a naming.

Other hashers may share stories or observations about the individual, with the final name being chosen by general consensus from all suggestions put forward by the hash.

NEWCOMERS TO THE HASH
Completely new to hashing? Don't know what to expect? Worried, shy or nervous? You needn't be as all newcomers or virgins as they are known, will receive a warm welcome. When the hashers are called to make a circle - about 7:15 pm each Monday, the Grand Master will welcome all hashers and after various notices about forthcoming events etc are dealt with, he will ask if there are any visitors from other hashes or virgins present. You will be asked to come forward and be introduced to the hash. A tip to remember, don't wear new trainers as these are frowned upon by the RA (Religious Advisor) and will incur a sprinkling of flour over them. That's all there is to it and you can then step back and enjoy the run and the social get together after in the On Down (the pub). Whatever your pace, there are certain to be others who will keep you company along the trail. Walk, jog or run - it's up to you.
Hashing is all about making friends and having fun, so just turn up any Monday and have a go.

A TRAIL OF TWO HALVES & ONCE MORE UNTO THE BREACH FOR PISSWELL

Run #1910 Monday 28th March from the Divers Arms at Babbacombe
 
LAST MINUTE HARES: Bluebird and Man-Pig
 
Who wuz there: Bluebird, Man-Pig, Arkangel, Forrest Stump, Piltdown Man, Georgy-Porgy, Smellie, Broadshit, Melonpicker, Soapy, Teapot, Wetfart, Beefy, Pisswell, Rambo, Fallen Woman, Piddler, Coldtits, Able Semen, Big End, Well Hopped, Ned, Ernie, Swinger, Polyfella, Tamsin (needs a name), Satnav, Threesum (on-down only), Bobbiball (on-down only). PLUS Strap-On!
 
THE CIRCLE
A void week in the Hash Diary i.e. no hares. The demon duo of Dick Dastardly and Mutley stepped in to lay the trail. An early improvised on-down at Kents was changed at the last minute to the Divers Arms - formerly Route 16; Coach and Horses and originally the Roughwood.. It has been a long time since we ran from here. In fact, the last time that many of us were in this pub was for Mavis's 40th birthday party prior to him running off to New Zealand with Half Nelson.
 
Able Semen had an announcement regarding The Devon Lunatics weekend commencing on Friday 13th May 2022. It will kick-off with a run/pubcrawl from the Mill-on-the-Exe on the Friday evening. It is a self-funded pay-as-you-go affair so come for 1, 2 or all 3 days. More details to follow on the Devon Lunatics Facebook page.
 
Man-Pig then had an update regarding Number 2's funeral. Yes, it is now open to the hash to attend. However, the chapel is small and can only accommodate a maximum of 50 people. The funeral details have already been posted on both the TVH3 and Ashburton Hash Facebook pages. It will take place at in Newton Abbot at 2.30pm on Friday 8th April. Thereafter, it is off to the Union Inn, Denbury for a rum or two to celebrate Number 2's life. Dress attire is bright and colourful. Threesum is co-ordinating numbers. Early indications are that the threshold of 50 in the chapel might well be exceeded. Watch the TVH3 Facebook page for updates.
 
Over to the remaining hare as Bluebird had run off to live lay the remaining piece of the trail jigsaw. This, despite, having promised that the Shorts trail had been completed the previous day. The remaining hare, Man-Pig, explained:
 
First, scoff - if you want food do not do the Longs. The kitchen closes at 8.30 but the chef will give us a 10 or 15 minute leeway. Anyone arriving back at the pub after 8.45 would go hungry.Second, "the trail - there is a Walkers, Shorts and a Longs. I have no idea about distance as I had had no part in the Walkers and Shorts' trails". Almost as much information as had been imparted by Arkangel the previous week!
 
THE TRAIL
The early parts of the trail had been laid by Bluebird in a combination of blue chalk and cat litter. The latter parts of the trail had been laid by Man-Pig in flour. The trail led past Babbacombe theatre and then along Babbacombe Downs, past the cliff railway, and onwards past the Model Village. A Long/Short split had the Shorts turning right down towards Oddicombe Beach. 
 
The Longs carried on along St Marychurch Road before turning right onto Petitor Road, past Torbay Golf club, and to a check on Redcliffe downs. The trail then beared right and downhill taking us onto the commando challenge on Oddicombe Beach. This comprised clambering over large blocks of fallen sandstone from the collapsing cliff face. Normally sandstone is fairly soft and smooth. Not this stuff. This appears to contain sherds of flint. Whatever it is, it is like climbing over very coarse sandpaper.
 
Despite the trail being conducted at low tide, no one was afforded the luxury of a simple run along the beach. The choices were: 1) get wet, probably very wet or, 2) to clamber over the rockfall and risk breaking your ankles. The state of the tide rather dictated the latter as being the only plausible option.
Once clear of the obstacle course, it was a simple run for Piddler and I along Oddicombe Beach passing Piltdown Man and an injured Smellie on the way. I was sure that I was the last of the Longs, but it later transpired that Arkangel had taken up the role of tail-end-charlie and cleared the rocks on his own.
 
At the end of the beach, it was up the very steep Beach Road past the Carey Arms. The Walkers continued up Beach Road and back to the pub. Meanwhile, the Longs and the Shorts had to bear sharp left. This leads to an area of wooded hillside and a climb up to open downs at Walls Hill. Here we came across Tamsin. She was resting as she was still a little weak whilst recovering after having contracted covid.
 
Soon all three of us were on open ground and a number of other hashers torches could be seen. We ran past the Babbabcombe cricket club pavilion only to see Pisswell and Forrest Stump a little off trail and running back to the pub. Melonpicker was in front of us and looking for marks. With a little help from the hare, we got him back on trail just before arriving at the last Long/Short split. Tamsin and Piddler sensibly elected for the Shorts. Dastardly, or is that Mutley, decided that he should sweep the Longs.
 
The Last Long was a 3 mile loop. Leaving Walls Hill, the trail led through woodland and the footpath that took us down to the car park on Ansteys Cove Road (sometimes known as Palace Road). At the rear of the car park the trail crossed the playing fields. The southern end of the playing fields is bounded by Ilsham Road. The check here had been kicked out. Good. There were Longs in front of me. The trail took a left down Ilsham Road before an arrow took us into Ilsham Meadow - the site of our first post third lockdown run - courtesy of Wigwam.
 
Almost at the southern end of Ilsham Meadow, where Ilsham Road turns into Meadfoot Sea Road, a check took the pack right and into the woodland of Manor Gardens. The trail took us up a steep incline before exiting the wood onto Lincombe Drive. Almost straight across the private drive and up a very steep public footpath that leads up to Higher Lincombe Road. An arrow now took us right and along Higher Lincombe Road before dropping down left onto Ridgeway Road.
 
At the apex of the first hairpin bend, another arrow. this time guiding us down a rather overgrown public footpath. This took us down and onto Higher Erith Road. Another arrow pointing to the right and we were heading past Lincombe Road and onto the Babbacombe Road at Kents in Wellswood. Arrows took us right and up Babbacombe Road. But not for long.
 
Before arriving at the entrance to the huge construction project, on the site of the old Palace Hotel, a long curved arrow took us down another public footpath. This was signposted "Footpath access to Ansteys Cove". The footpath ended at the Ansteys Cove car park. An arrow with an "OH" below it took us back up that part of Ansteys Cove Road that we had just run down 25 minutes earlier. 
 
This time it was all the way up to the top of the road where it rejoins Babbacombe Road. The marks took us up a slight uphill ascent until yet another arrow pointed right and along 250 yards of footpath. This led us back onto Walls Hill to rejoin the Shorts trail for the final 600 yards back to the pub.Back in the pub, I had thought that I had been the last to be out on trail. Not so. Arriving back at the pub with Forrest Stump, Pisswelll was aghast that she'd only recorded 2.83 miles. U-turn, out of the pub and back unto the breach of Walls Hill to find that elusive last Long/Short split. 
 
Well done - dogged determination if ever there was.
 
THE DOWN-DOWNS
The Baby Bat Hat, perched upon Georgy was the first Deliverance (1972) and manifold were the propos-ed culprits. Eighteen consumed chips later and Wetfart was summoned for allegedly baring all. A note for 'hung like a donkey' if you please.
 
The wise or wizened Wizard Piddler spun a tale of adventure and disaster before finally getting to the point and awarding the Jester's Hat to Pisswell for being late back to the pub. (see main text!).
Forrest had smelt a rat cum sardines in brine as He who should not be nam-ed approach-ed with the revered Hashit shirt in tow. I know you are mildly interested or held captive in my text bubble, so I'll elaborate:
 
I feed a one-legged seagull (I'm not the only one, so does BroadS) sardines daily as he crash lands onto my flat roof. I then have to wipe my hands on something - and, I think you've only sussed it - the closest thing to hand the past week was ... No? Well please yourselves then.
 
Anyway, rewind back to the Divers Inn and Bobby wheeling his Panzer cycle through the doors into the pub. Wishing to come to the aid of der Rottenfuhrer, I hastily provided a cover story to the management.
 
'He's eighty five you know.' The bar manageress looked across at the bewheeling apparition and retorted: 'Eighty five? That's amazing!' 
 
Poor Bobby, and a stale pork pie caught him under the eye and Bobby bit the dust - or floor as Teapot presented that Little Shop of Horrors (1986) aka the doggie beer bowl.
 
Bobby blanched and doggedly [now come on SIC you fools] prepared for the worst. But then a shining light came upon the assembly and White Knight (I know, a man of many parts) Piddler stepped forward, picked up the doggie bowl and placed it in bewildered Bobby's clammy hands.
 
Whoa! I didn't know it was that simple! And down it did young Bobby to the accompanying chords of 'Hold it in your hand Mrs Murphy' Hurrah!
 
MP comment: The Homing Horse Head Hat - although absent, rumour has it that stabling has been found for it at Ka Ford in Maidencombe! (Dire threats have been uttered by Wetfart who awarded the hat to the Idiot on Awards Night).
 
POSTSCRIPT
Relieved to get this one done and dusted. It was quite a slog, what with the Hunt for Red October (1990) and a DD at short notice; the pre-lay of the short trail on Sunday and the live lay of the last section of the long on the night. 
 
Mighty thanks go to co-hare MP who trekked over at 5 pm and stayed after laying his loop of the long.
The chariot tether charge was iniquitous - as many of you rightly did protest. Charges applicable to midnight! The Sheriff of Nottingham evidently is alive and well in Torbay. 
 
But never mind, the shares in RentaHare are steadily rising and we wait in the wings to come to the aid of the Hash. 
 
Thank you all for making the journey.
 
NEXT WEEK
It's the Big Night, our AGPU from Ipplepen football club with hare Wet Johnny and the usual Penner suspects.
 
And now it's goodbye from Man-Pig and goodbye from me.
ON ON!

MISMANAGEMENT UPDATED AGPU APRIL 4 2022

Grand Master Shitfaced mobile 07973 682201
Vice G M U Bend
On Sec Piltdown Man mobile 07773038756
R A Organiser Teapot
R A Manpig
R A Forrest Stump
R A Fallen Woman
Hash Cash Threesome
Hash Tax Pisswell
Trail Raiser Rambo
Haberdashery Zoot
Song Master Pork Torpedo
Social Sec Wet Johnny
Web /Web Master Bluebird

HASH SUBS 2022

This years membership, which is due now is £25 Alternatively you can pay £1 per week when attending. Samantha Zimbler Hash cash Threesum. On line payments Account name: TEIGN VALLEY HASH House Harriers Sort Code: 55-70-01 Account number: 69068186 Reference: your hash name

TVH3 HABERDASHERY LINK

JESSE'S DD FROM THE TALLY HO!

EXPLANATION OF ARCHIVE TVH3 SITES

GREATHASHGOD: A dedicated site (presently mothballed and serves as archive content only) with all TVH3 content. Mostly photos from each Monday's hash but also some video clips. Named after our Life President Pottsie.

PRECONDEROTOUS: Containing the entire archive of TVH3 of some 1000 vid clips and over 5000 posts and photos. Started on November 11th 2007, the site is active with Bluebird's personal content but the archive content is fascinating and preserved, well worth a look.

Fukarwi

Fukarwi

REARENDER

REARENDER

TEAPOT

TEAPOT

SOAPY

SOAPY

MOULDY DICK

MOULDY DICK

MELONPICKER

MELONPICKER

FALLEN WOMAN

FALLEN WOMAN

DORIS

DORIS

BROKEN MAN

BROKEN MAN

ARCHANGEL

ARCHANGEL

ABLE SEMEN

ABLE SEMEN

Previously unreleased clip - Vicky's naming from the Sea Trout

FOR TVH3 HABERDASHERY CONTACT ZOOT

FOR TVH3 HABERDASHERY CONTACT ZOOT

SC