by Pisswell and Man-Pig
The Words for 23rd May 2022 - Hound Tor Bluebell Run
Run No. 1918
HARES: Pisswell (and maybe Erection?)
Who
wuz there: Pisswell, Beefy, Shitfaced, Only Here for the Beer,
Man-Pig, Ernie, Forrest-Stump, Rambo, Piltdown Man, Georgy Porgy,
Smellie, Big End, Well Hopped, Ned, Manopause, Wet-Johnny, Strap-On,
Wetfart, Teapot
The Circle
Pisswell
explained that the trails were 2.5, 4.5, and 5.5 miles, or thereabouts.
Beefy mentioned that the Long was better laid than the Short and to
beware of clitter. It is very slippery and you can
come a cropper! He wasn't kidding - even if you never know where it is,
I'm damn sure it's not on Dartmoor. If so, this is where I've been
going wrong for the last 40 odd years!
The Trail - by Pisswell
There ain’t nothin' quite like Hound tor
Even in the rain
There weren’t nothin' but 4 wet hares
And only those insane!
Well we ain’t never marked trails that way
So you ain't no hares of mine!
====================
Well, they said you were high-classed
Well, that was just a lie,
Whoever marked a trail that way
Was surely meant to die
They passed at the grave again
No friends of Jay's or mine.
==================
There ain’t nothin' wrong with a flour trail
So I tried to tie it in
I asked that when you got to Leighon
A challenge you could win
A single rose in your teeth
From the flowers, delivered fine.
======================
It ain’t nothin' losing Rambo
It’s just another day
The short trail full of bracken
Made me lose the way
I don’t know where I lost him
But we found him just in time.
====================
There ain’t nothin' but a big nose
Up at Bowerman
There ain’t nothin' but flour dust
To sneeze just like he can
There ain't nothin' like “clitter"-
It's such a pain to find!
================
Well they said it was lovely
Seeing all the flowers
Bluebells and azaleas
In between the showers
Rhododendrons don’t rhyme
And it ain’t no friend of mine.
====================
Well they said it was high-classed
Back at the Ruggle
Much talk of all the urine passed
18 in a snuggle
Rewarded Down downs to hares
Pisswell ain’t just a name of mine!
=======================
There ain’t no one quite like Rambo
For nearly getting lost
Down downs as well to Forrest
Where did his hat get tossed?
====================
Bobby ball got some singing
He’s a friend of yours and mine
From the hash, he was missing
But our sentiments he won't mind.
=======================
Well they said the hash was high-classed
So relaid it all next day
AH3 ran it In sunshine all the way
But I think we had much more fun
We had a great old time.
=================
Well, thank you very much - uh-huh-huh.
With
many thanks to Elvis, Pisswell (AKA Erection), Beefy, Shitfaced, Only
Here for the Beer, Man-Pig, Ernie, Forrest-Stump, Rambo, Piltdown Man,
Georgy Porgy, Smellie, Big End, Well Hopped, Ned, Manopause, Wet-Johnny,
Strap-On, Wetfart, Teapot.
The Down-Downs
Adjourn to the Rugglestone for the On-Down.
Thank the pub for the beer.
Hashshit shirt to Rambo - was this because he was last back or that he failed to put a rose between his teeth?
Hares for an excellent trail and Beefy's Dartmoor guide to the female anatomy - slippery when wet!
Lost property - Forrest had to award it to himself for losing his hat. Even though we all thought it was Wetfart's.
Epilogue
The
guilt of last week still laid heavy on the Hash's shoulders. Hence, as
promised, it was all the right notes - although not necessarily in the
right order. This was for Bobbiball's birthday last week - even though
he wasn't present this week. He had perked up a bit by Saturday though.
Bobbi was at Two Mile Oak supporting Bluebird and the Maidencombe Out
of Tunas. It's all in the name dear people. All in the name.
Next week
Union
Inn, Denbury for a run to celebrate Number Two's life. Wear something
bright, ideally with a Caribbean theme. We are promised at least one rum
stop - what else would you expect? Our Hares for the evening are
Poacher and Soapy.
It's time to say goodbye from Pisswell and goodbye from MP.
On-On to next week!
