Slade Cross, Lustleigh
Run No. 1937
HARES: Pisswell & Forrest-Stump
Who
wuz there: Pisswell, Forrest-Stump, Shitfaced, Man-Pig, Hotlips, Zoot,
Arkangel, Wet Johnny, Manopause, Soapy, Palmolive, Ernie, Coldtits,
Beefy, Tamsin, Teapot , Big End, Well Hopped, Ned, Roger the Dodger
& son, Bobbiball
The Circle
Slade
Cross is certainly a virgin starting point for Teign Valley Hash. This
presented some interesting parking solutions around the junction. This
included Man-Pig parking on a small mountain and thus denying
Bobbiball the opportunity to alight the vehicle.
Forrest's
knowledge of the highway code was found wanting as he directed several
hashers to park in a bus stop. Teapot, meanwhile, had arrived early
and was intent on testing the integrity of the local farmer's burglar
alarm system. Yes, Teapot. It works! Grovelling apologies to the
farmer.
The
Circle commenced with the usual announcements. In the absence of a lift
from Georgy Porgy/Piltdown Man, Smellie contacted Shitfaced by means of
wireless communications courtesy of Enrico Marconi. We need a Hare for
24th October......volunteers, please.
Shitfaced
then added that only eight slots are available between now and the end
of the year. Step up and claim your slot to lay a trail. Man-Pig
requested a scribe and Pisswell kindly offered.
Finally,
Soapy reminded everyone of Rambo's memorial service/ life celebration
on Sunday. If anyone would like to join a throng of hashers for a curry
afterwards, in Newton Abbot, please see Soapy in The Dolphin after the
run.
The Trail by Pisswell
Please sing along to Teddy bears picnic tune! It changes as guided, probably better guided than the hash!
If you go down to Shaptor woods you're sure of a big surprise
If you go down to park at Slade cross you’ll see all the other guys
Though Beefy ran, most hashers there was
Invited there for certain because
Today's the day Teign Valley runs over Forest!
( if you go down to the woods today tune again)
He volunteered to co hare and park. A Parking attendant he’d be!
Responsibility went to his head and he took no notice of me!
He gave himself the disabled spot
Drove Manpig out of the parking lot
And up the bank so Bobby ball can’t get out now!
( picnic time for teddy bears tune)
Circle time for both co-hares
They didn’t tell us much
So It's a guessing game today
marks might catch you unawares
They’ll be on both sides and
checks are in a random way!
Teapot had had a nose about
Shitfaced is back with gout
And Smellie needs some hares
There are no rules in hashing
So let’s just follow the trail, and
don’t “do” in the woods like the bears!
( if you go down to the woods today tune again)
If you’re a long in the woods today, you'd better start up Slade hill
If you’re a walker or a short,
on to the old hospital
You reach Hawkmoor and try out some checks
You find a split and the longs go left
The top of the hill, they find the first of the “ha has”!
( picnic time for teddy bears tune)
Descending back down to the path
They join the shorts and walkers
Up until they split again
Both got to do a super hill
How lucky is Well Hopped?
the brambles not,
the only things to kill!
Longs do another wild goose chase
They have another case of “ ha ha” to turn back
At the stile,
they meet again
To enter the Woodland trust
For their journey up to Shap tor.
( if you go down to the woods today tune again)
If you follow the marks, you’ll find a post.
lost a Teapot along the way
Round the fallen tree
Up hill it will be
Find the place to be for the day
For the sweetie stop was up at Shap tor
With a string of lights
To make it look more
Of a lovely sight to welcome all our hashers.
( picnic time for teddy bears tune)
Decision time for hashers now
Either left for the long, commitment to 5 plus miles today
Walkers there’ll be 2 to home
Whilst shorts turn left, at the old signpost, to Pixie Copse.
What I failed to say to some, was that the third “ha ha”means to return same way
So Rodger the dodger and Well hopped’s brother were lost out in the woods
They were tired and alone and afraid!
( if you go down to the woods today tune again)
Meanwhile chief hare was sat on a log
Encouraging light to work
When it came on, I was startled to see, a hornet circling me!
It wouldn’t shake off, tried all the tips
Until it stung the top of my lip
I ran for home, bollocks to rest
Will they make it?
( if you go down to the woods today tune again)
They found the longs and followed them wrong
The cottages they did see
I was told me off for placing a cross
For Tamsin beneath a tree
To Shaptor farm and Furzeleigh cross
But now like the two they also were lost
They were guided home by Well Hopped on phone
Piss ‘N Forrest!
The Trail by Man-Pig
The
trail took us up Slade Lane towards the reservoirs. After a couple of
hundred yards, the Walkers and the Shorts peeled off right and along a
public footpath. The Walkers would be on an in/out trail to the sweetie
stop - around two miles. The Longs continued on; up and up and up
Slade Hill before being directed right, along a footpath and into
Shaptor Down.
The
Longs comprised Beefy, Big End, Man-Pig, Tamsin and Ernie. What goes
up must come down and it wasn't long before we were on a steep wide
path, past Gladstone Rock, to rejoin the Shorts and the Walkers. Then a
200 yard uphill slog only to be confronted with the first of the
evening's three Ha-Ha's.
Back
on the Shorts' trail again and another Long/Short split only to arrive
at another Ha-Ha. Return downhill to the last Long/Short split. This
took us up an overgrown and very steep but, thankfully, short climb.
At
the top of this climb, we encountered Forrest and Perry who directed
us left and to the illumined sweetie stop at Shaptor Rock. We knew that
we were on the right trail because all of the Walkers and the Shorts
were now on the reverse trail back towards Slade Cross.
This
proved somewhat confusing for poor old Ned. He had made the outward
trail with his mistress but now wanted to continue on the rest of the
trail with his master. In true hash hound fashion, he elected to stay
with his mistress. That would be much shorter.
Shaptor
Rock was both pretty and pretty impressive. It was rather like Santa's
grotto with rope lights directing us towards the sweeties.
Re-energised
with wine gums (non-alcoholic) we embarked on the final Long/Short
split. We were pretty high up, around 240m, as we exited Shaptor Down
and headed along the public footpath towards Shaptor Farm.
Through
the farm we proceeded and continued down the public footpath past
Higher Bowden before passing through woodland and exiting into an open
pasture. Here we alarmed two ponies and also ran out of marks. We
spread out looking for the elusive white dots. Small mushrooms caught
the torchlight and, for a fleeting moment, confirmed that we were on
trail.
Eventually
Big End found a stile and an exit onto a small lane. An arrow had us
running downhill, due south, and past Lower Bowden to Furzeleigh Cross.
Just before the crossroads, a check had us turning due west and along
two parallel footpaths - one official and, one not. The unofficial
footpath looked like an old Devon bank with a thoroughfare running
between the two manmade banks.
A
long zig-zag through the woodland of Stonelands, Shaptor Wood and
Northcombe Cross eventually saw us rejoin the return trail at the point
at which we'd last seen Forrest and Perry.
At
last an OH sign. Beefy and Big End blazed the reverse trail....or not
as it turned out. We found ourselves on a broad , steep downhill track;
easily wide enough for a tractor. We had not been down here before so
we assumed that it must be part of the Shorts' trail. It was not. By
the time we'd reached the back of Hawkmoor Cottage, Beefy realised that
something was wrong. It was back up to the last check - at the top of a
very long hill. A mile detour. Oh well.
On
the return, we caught up with Roger the Dodger and son. They had been
off trail for quite a while. They had come across a Ha-Ha and didn't
know what it meant, so they simply walked through it and spent the
majority of the evening off trail. I still don't know if they ever found
the sweetie stop.
Back
at the last check, it was left where we should have gone right and we
were back on a part of the trail we recognised. Soon we were back at
Slade Cross - amazingly without any broken ankles. Some of the timber
duckboards on the Longs were in pretty gash order with broken slats.
Back
at the cars, no Bobbiball. We guessed, correctly, that he was already
in the pub. The Longs agreed that it had been a lovely run; a trail
that would be well worth repeating in the summer.
Thank you Hares. An excellent job.
The Down-Downs
Awards
were thin on the ground. So were the number of Hashers who had made it
to the pub. Teapot, Ernie and Shitfaced had already gone home.
However,
Ernie had passed on the Bat Hat to Man-Pig to award. Forrest had the
Hashshit shirt and he was the first to name and shame. It could have
been any number of hashers for reasons as broad as FRB'ing and parking
misdemeanours. The actual recipient was Bobbiball for his inability to
access or alight from a series of four wheel drives during the course
of the evening. For such endeavouring mountaineering, there was a note
for Chris Bonnington.
The
only other award available was the Bat Hat. Not being the original
recipient of the award from the previous week, Man-Pig hadn't been
clocking misdemeanourNeverthelessles, a step-by-step account of the
hash had been recorded by Roger the Dodger on his mobile phone. "We're
just coming up to a blade of grass now. No. it's a fern....."
fascinating stuff. Accordingly, a very brief down-down song for yakking
on his phone on trail: "Yaketty-Yak. Don't talk back. Drink it down,
down, down......"
Next week
Bobbiball
and Bluebird are next week's hares. Bobbiball had a senior moment and
advised that we would all be at the Dolphin again next week.....bless.
With a little encouragement, he eventually recanted and advised that
the trail would be from the Crown & Sceptre in St Marychurch. There
is a tapas menu and you do not need to order in advance.
On-On to next week!
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