A WARM WELCOME FROM TVH3

Welcome to the Teign Valley Hash House Harriers of glorious South Devon. You are guaranteed a warm welcome and a great hash experience. We are the 'Party Hash' and we run from pubs all over Torbay, Dartmoor and the Teign Valley every Monday evening at 7.15pm. Our trails are marked with flour, chalk or sawdust and take in woodland, streams, byways, bridle paths and rolling countryside. We cater for all abilities, you needn't worry about keeping up, a leisurely walk with others or a good paced run if you're fit - you choose. The run duration is anything from 30 minutes to an hour and the distance is normally between 3-6 miles depending on whether you decide to take a short or long trail. Your first run is free, so come along and give it a go! After the run hashers enjoy a drink and food in the pub. On many occasions, the pub will lay on a 'Hash Menu', food specially for hashers.

WHAT TO EXPECT AT YOUR FIRST HASH

Starts soon after 7:15 pm each Monday.
The Grandmaster will gather the hash together in a circle and welcome Virgins & Visitors to TVH3 and inform the group of pertinent news or upcoming events.
Hares will announce details or the trail, number of long and short splits and regroups.

Down-Downs - sometimes at the circle but usually in the pub after the run. Hashers and harriets (lady hashers) have a half pint and under age hashers have a soft drink or water. If you are driving, just ask the RA for water.

A Down-Down is a means of punishing, rewarding, or merely recognizing an individual for any action or behavior. Once awarded, the downdown must be drunk without pause, otherwise the RA may take action!

Individuals may be recognized for outstanding service, or for their status as a visitor or newcomer.

Down-Downs also serve as punishment for misdemeanours real, imagined, or blatantly made up.

Such transgressions may include: wearing new shoes, pointing with a finger, or the use of real names rather than hash names.

Hash Names

The use of real names (nerd name) during an event is discouraged, and members are typically given a new "hash name," usually in deference to a particularly notorious escapade, a personality trait, or their physical appearance.

Members are named after attending the hash on several occasions or if something noteworthy occurs to prompt a naming.

Other hashers may share stories or observations about the individual, with the final name being chosen by general consensus from all suggestions put forward by the hash.

NEWCOMERS TO THE HASH
Completely new to hashing? Don't know what to expect? Worried, shy or nervous? You needn't be as all newcomers or virgins as they are known, will receive a warm welcome. When the hashers are called to make a circle - about 7:15 pm each Monday, the Grand Master will welcome all hashers and after various notices about forthcoming events etc are dealt with, he will ask if there are any visitors from other hashes or virgins present. You will be asked to come forward and be introduced to the hash. A tip to remember, don't wear new trainers as these are frowned upon by the RA (Religious Advisor) and will incur a sprinkling of flour over them. That's all there is to it and you can then step back and enjoy the run and the social get together after in the On Down (the pub). Whatever your pace, there are certain to be others who will keep you company along the trail. Walk, jog or run - it's up to you.
Hashing is all about making friends and having fun, so just turn up any Monday and have a go.

Friday 7 October 2022

TVH3 The Words for 3rd October 2022

Slade Cross, Lustleigh
 
Run No. 1937
 
HARES: Pisswell & Forrest-Stump
 
Who wuz there: Pisswell, Forrest-Stump, Shitfaced, Man-Pig, Hotlips, Zoot, Arkangel, Wet Johnny, Manopause, Soapy, Palmolive, Ernie, Coldtits, Beefy, Tamsin, Teapot , Big End, Well Hopped, Ned, Roger the Dodger & son, Bobbiball
 
The Circle
Slade Cross is certainly a virgin starting point for Teign Valley Hash. This presented some interesting parking solutions around the junction. This included Man-Pig parking on a small mountain and thus denying Bobbiball the opportunity to alight the vehicle.
 
Forrest's knowledge of the highway code was found wanting as he directed several hashers to park in a bus stop. Teapot, meanwhile, had arrived early and was intent on testing the integrity of the local farmer's burglar alarm system. Yes, Teapot. It works! Grovelling apologies to the farmer.
 
The Circle commenced with the usual announcements. In the absence of a lift from Georgy Porgy/Piltdown Man, Smellie contacted Shitfaced by means of wireless communications courtesy of Enrico Marconi. We need a Hare for 24th October......volunteers, please.
 
Shitfaced then added that only eight slots are available between now and the end of the year. Step up and claim your slot to lay a trail. Man-Pig requested a scribe and Pisswell kindly offered.
Finally, Soapy reminded everyone of Rambo's memorial service/ life celebration on Sunday. If anyone would like to join a throng of hashers for a curry afterwards, in Newton Abbot, please see Soapy in The Dolphin after the run.
 
The Trail by Pisswell
Please sing along to Teddy bears picnic tune! It changes as guided, probably better guided than the hash!
 
If you go down to Shaptor woods you're sure of a big surprise
If you go down to park at Slade cross you’ll see all the other guys
Though Beefy ran, most hashers there was
Invited there for certain because
Today's the day Teign Valley runs over Forest!
( if you go down to the woods today tune again)
 
He volunteered to co hare and park. A Parking attendant he’d be!
Responsibility went to his head and he took no notice of me!
He gave himself the disabled spot
Drove Manpig out of the parking lot
And up the bank so Bobby ball can’t get out now!
( picnic time for teddy bears tune)
 
Circle time for both co-hares
They didn’t tell us much
So It's a guessing game today
marks might catch you unawares
They’ll be on both sides and
checks are in a random way!
Teapot had had a nose about
Shitfaced is back with gout
And Smellie needs some hares
There are no rules in hashing
So let’s just follow the trail, and
don’t “do” in the woods like the bears!
( if you go down to the woods today tune again)
 
If you’re a long in the woods today, you'd better start up Slade hill
If you’re a walker or a short,
on to the old hospital
You reach Hawkmoor and try out some checks
You find a split and the longs go left
The top of the hill, they find the first of the “ha has”!
( picnic time for teddy bears tune)
 
Descending back down to the path
They join the shorts and walkers
Up until they split again
Both got to do a super hill
How lucky is Well Hopped?
the brambles not,
the only things to kill!
Longs do another wild goose chase
They have another case of “ ha ha” to turn back
At the stile,
they meet again
To enter the Woodland trust
For their journey up to Shap tor.
( if you go down to the woods today tune again)
 
If you follow the marks, you’ll find a post.
lost a Teapot along the way
Round the fallen tree
Up hill it will be
Find the place to be for the day
For the sweetie stop was up at Shap tor
With a string of lights
To make it look more
Of a lovely sight to welcome all our hashers.
( picnic time for teddy bears tune)
 
Decision time for hashers now
Either left for the long, commitment to 5 plus miles today
Walkers there’ll be 2 to home
Whilst shorts turn left, at the old signpost, to Pixie Copse.
What I failed to say to some, was that the third “ha ha”means to return same way
So Rodger the dodger and Well hopped’s brother were lost out in the woods
They were tired and alone and afraid!
( if you go down to the woods today tune again)
 
Meanwhile chief hare was sat on a log
Encouraging light to work
When it came on, I was startled to see, a hornet circling me!
It wouldn’t shake off, tried all the tips
Until it stung the top of my lip
I ran for home, bollocks to rest
Will they make it?
( if you go down to the woods today tune again)
 
They found the longs and followed them wrong
The cottages they did see
I was told me off for placing a cross
For Tamsin beneath a tree
To Shaptor farm and Furzeleigh cross
But now like the two they also were lost
They were guided home by Well Hopped on phone
 
Piss ‘N Forrest!
 
The Trail by Man-Pig
The trail took us up Slade Lane towards the reservoirs. After a couple of hundred yards, the Walkers and the Shorts peeled off right and along a public footpath. The Walkers would be on an in/out trail to the sweetie stop - around two miles. The Longs continued on; up and up and up Slade Hill before being directed right, along a footpath and into Shaptor Down.
 
The Longs comprised Beefy, Big End, Man-Pig, Tamsin and Ernie. What goes up must come down and it wasn't long before we were on a steep wide path, past Gladstone Rock, to rejoin the Shorts and the Walkers. Then a 200 yard uphill slog only to be confronted with the first of the evening's three Ha-Ha's.
Back on the Shorts' trail again and another Long/Short split only to arrive at another Ha-Ha. Return downhill to the last Long/Short split. This took us up an overgrown and very steep but, thankfully, short climb.
 
At the top of this climb, we encountered Forrest and Perry who directed us left and to the illumined sweetie stop at Shaptor Rock. We knew that we were on the right trail because all of the Walkers and the Shorts were now on the reverse trail back towards Slade Cross.
 
This proved somewhat confusing for poor old Ned. He had made the outward trail with his mistress but now wanted to continue on the rest of the trail with his master. In true hash hound fashion, he elected to stay with his mistress. That would be much shorter.
 
Shaptor Rock was both pretty and pretty impressive. It was rather like Santa's grotto with rope lights directing us towards the sweeties. 
 
Re-energised with wine gums (non-alcoholic) we embarked on the final Long/Short split. We were pretty high up, around 240m, as we exited Shaptor Down and headed along the public footpath towards Shaptor Farm.
 
Through the farm we proceeded and continued down the public footpath past Higher Bowden before passing through woodland and exiting into an open pasture. Here we alarmed two ponies and also ran out of marks. We spread out looking for the elusive white dots. Small mushrooms caught the torchlight and, for a fleeting moment, confirmed that we were on trail.
 
Eventually Big End found a stile and an exit onto a small lane. An arrow had us running downhill, due south, and past Lower Bowden to Furzeleigh Cross. Just before the crossroads, a check had us turning due west and along two parallel footpaths - one official and, one not. The unofficial footpath looked like an old Devon bank with a thoroughfare running between the two manmade banks. 
 
A long zig-zag through the woodland of Stonelands, Shaptor Wood and Northcombe Cross eventually saw us rejoin the return trail at the point at which we'd last seen Forrest and Perry.
 
At last an OH sign. Beefy and Big End blazed the reverse trail....or not as it turned out. We found ourselves on a broad , steep downhill track; easily wide enough for a tractor. We had not been down here before so we assumed that it must be part of the Shorts' trail. It was not. By the time we'd reached the back of Hawkmoor Cottage, Beefy realised that something was wrong. It was back up to the last check - at the top of a very long hill. A mile detour. Oh well.
 
On the return, we caught up with Roger the Dodger and son. They had been off trail for quite a while. They had come across a Ha-Ha and didn't know what it meant, so they simply walked through it and spent the majority of the evening off trail. I still don't know if they ever found the sweetie stop.
 
Back at the last check, it was left where we should have gone right and we were back on a part of the trail we recognised. Soon we were back at Slade Cross - amazingly without any broken ankles. Some of the timber duckboards on the Longs were in pretty gash order with broken slats.
 
Back at the cars, no Bobbiball. We guessed, correctly, that he was already in the pub. The Longs agreed that it had been a lovely run; a trail that would be well worth repeating in the summer. 
 
Thank you Hares. An excellent job.
 
The Down-Downs
Awards were thin on the ground. So were the number of Hashers who had made it to the pub. Teapot, Ernie and Shitfaced had already gone home.
 
However, Ernie had passed on the Bat Hat to Man-Pig to award. Forrest had the Hashshit shirt and he was the first to name and shame. It could have been any number of hashers for reasons as broad as FRB'ing and parking misdemeanours. The actual recipient was Bobbiball for his inability to access or alight from a series of four wheel drives during the course of the evening. For such endeavouring mountaineering, there was a note for Chris Bonnington.
 
The only other award available was the Bat Hat. Not being the original recipient of the award from the previous week, Man-Pig hadn't been clocking misdemeanourNeverthelessles, a step-by-step account of the hash had been recorded by Roger the Dodger on his mobile phone. "We're just coming up to a blade of grass now. No. it's a fern....." fascinating stuff. Accordingly, a very brief down-down song for yakking on his phone on trail: "Yaketty-Yak. Don't talk back. Drink it down, down, down......"
 
Next week
Bobbiball and Bluebird are next week's hares. Bobbiball had a senior moment and advised that we would all be at the Dolphin again next week.....bless. With a little encouragement, he eventually recanted and advised that the trail would be from the Crown & Sceptre in St Marychurch. There is a tapas menu and you do not need to order in advance.
 
On-On to next week!

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WEEKLY SUBS PAYERS

It would be appreciated if those hashers that pay £1 a week when they attend rather than the £30 a year subscription could bring their one pound to the circle and pay Pisswell before the run. It is not much fun for her to chase hashers in the pub for payment. Many thanks for your cooperation. 🙂

MISMANAGEMENT UPDATED AGPU APRIL 4 2022

Grand Master Shitfaced mobile 07973 682201
Vice G M U Bend
On Sec Piltdown Man mobile 07773038756
R A Organiser Teapot
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Hash Cash Threesome
Hash Tax Pisswell
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Social Sec Wet Johnny
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HASH SUBS 2023

This years membership, which is due now is £30 Alternatively, you can pay £1 per week when attending. Samantha Zimbler Hash cash Threesum. On line payments Account name: TEIGN VALLEY HASH House Harriers Sort Code: 55-70-01 Account number: 69068186 Reference: your hash name

TVH3 HABERDASHERY LINK

JESSE'S DD FROM THE TALLY HO!

EXPLANATION OF ARCHIVE TVH3 SITES

GREATHASHGOD: A dedicated site (presently mothballed and serves as archive content only) with all TVH3 content. Mostly photos from each Monday's hash but also some video clips. Named after our Life President Pottsie.

PRECONDEROTOUS: Containing the entire archive of TVH3 of some 1000 vid clips and over 5000 posts and photos. Started on November 11th 2007, the site is active with Bluebird's personal content but the archive content is fascinating and preserved, well worth a look.

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TEAPOT

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SOAPY

SOAPY

MOULDY DICK

MOULDY DICK

MELONPICKER

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FALLEN WOMAN

FALLEN WOMAN

DORIS

DORIS

BROKEN MAN

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ARCHANGEL

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ABLE SEMEN

ABLE SEMEN

Previously unreleased clip - Vicky's naming from the Sea Trout

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