The Park Inn, Kingskerswell
Boxing Day pub walkabout
Run No. 1949
HARE: Shitfaced
Who
wuz there: Shitfaced, Man-Pig, Man-Piglet (returnee), Cheerio-Beerio,
Darcy, Eva, Piltdown Man, Georgy Porgy, Smellie, Piddler (by bike),
Strap-On, Strap Dancer, Slip-on-Me, Beefy, Pisswell, Threesum, and
Martin.
The Circle
Amazingly,
seventeen turned up for the Boxing Day hash. Family commitments,
travel/travel chaos, and the Season of Christmas usually conspire to
result in low numbers between the Christmas and New Year break.
Accordingly, it was good to see a goodly number of, mainly sober, souls.
Smellie
announced that she was looking for hares for the 16th January and from
4th February onwards. The Hare announced a short trail up to the Lord
Nelson and back. Additionally, did anyone require food post hash? This
would comprise gammon, cheesy chips, pigs in blankets etc @ £3 in the
pot. There were no takers at the time but a few decided that they were,
indeed, peckish after the arduous trail to the Nellie and back.
The Trail
A
lunchtime walk around the village had revealed no marks whatsoever.
The absence of marks was confirmed by the Hare at the commencement of
the trail.
Despite being a somewhat short trail, it was not without incident. What on earth could go wrong in 600 yards?
First,
Piddler wanted to do a proper run, and enquired if anyone wanted to
get to the Nellie via the Barn Owl. Little interest was expressed, and
this diminished even further when Man-Pig advised that the Barn Owl was
shut.
The
second issue was whether to delay commencement of the trail. Two
stalwarts were en route to the Park Inn but were running late due to
having just completed a run on Dartmoor. This was Beefy and Pisswell. We
started the run without them, and told them where to meet us.
There
was no marked trail per se. Nevertheless, this didn't stop an
impromptu long/short split from taking place almost from the outset.
Man-Pig took most of the pack down the alleyway opposite the pub and
headed for the main road. Shitfaced, however, took the balance of the
pack back towards the war memorial and Fore Street.
The
reason for the split soon became apparent when FRB, Piddler, ground to
a halt between The Sloop and Dobbin Arch. The narrow footpath that
leads up to the Nellie from the A380 had been blocked off with safety
barriers. Apparently, this was because the council had deemed the wall
to the pathway to be unsafe. Did this phase our hashers, including
Darcy (8 yrs) and Eva (6 yrs)? No.
Man-Pig
was first to navigate the barrier. A jump onto the wall, past the
barrier, and descent back onto the path. Everyone made it safely
through, and soon we were in a nice warm pub.
In
theory, we had planned to stop for a single beer before returning to
the Park Inn but we had to wait for latecomers. Just as pint number one
had been finished, Beefy and Pisswell appeared. But where were Martin
and Pisswell? Just as pint number two had been finished, they appeared.
Never mind, just as well I bought some extra cash.
The return journey was a bit of a free for all but all made it safely back to the Park Inn.
The Down-Downs
Park 'n' Ride had just commenced putting out the food. Dilemma - quick pre-scoff, down-downs or defer till after food.
"Be
quick" shouted Shitfaced. And so commenced the briefest of down-downs.
The RA sounded reminiscent of an auction house auctioneer - sans
gavel.
"Any awards from last week?". Silence.
"Any stories?". Silence.
So the first down-down went to Piddler for paying for his beer in the Nellie with a watch. Doesn't anyone have cash anymore?
Next
up were Threesum and Martin for being late in arriving at the Nellie;
and this despite having the shortest distance to travel.
Threesum
explained that it was Martin's fault as he was having difficulty with
his Yuletide log. No doubt he'll require U-Bend's assistance with the
logjam so a note for, "Here's to U-Bend........".
As
the delay had been entirely Martin's fault, Threesum nominated him to
down her half as well. It must be at least six years since we've had a
whole pint as a down-down.
The
last beer was still to be awarded as Park 'n' Ride arrived with the
last of the hot food. Shitfaced was instantly awarded the last
down-down for being the Hare and taking us on a dangerous obstacle
course en route to the Nellie....for Heaven's sake man, children's lives
were put at risk!
A note for the "Steeplechaser".
A thank you to Park 'n' Ride for the scoff and the beer. Unsurprisingly, no-one wanted the half pint of water.
Next week
Next
week's Hash, the first of a brand new year, is at The Devon Arms Hotel,
Teignmouth where Smellie will try to avoid getting four down-downs!
Wishing you all a Peaceful New Year.
On on to next year, MP.
