A CHOCOLATE SHEEP & CHOCOLATE BROWNIES GALORE

TVH3 The Words for 18th September 2023  
Park Inn, Kingskerswell
Run No. 1987

HARES: Shitfaced and "friends"

Who wuz there: Shitfaced, Man-Pig, Bluebird, Beeflicker, Piltdown Man, Georgie Porgy, Smellie, Strap-On, Coldtits, Wetfart, Ernie, Fukarwe, Beefy, Pisswell,Erection, Manopause, Broken Man, Fallen Woman, Threesum, Pollyfella, T-Humper and 5 virgins from the Park Inn,additionally, Park'n'Ride and
Martin (non-runners)

Circle

Shitfaced welcomed all to the stand-in Hash at the Park Inn; a late substitute venue due to the postponement of Winfield's funeral. The original trail had been planned to be Beefy's birthday trail from Widecombe and this will now be rescheduled. This may explain, in part, why Smellie does not require Hares till November.

Wetfart updated us on Teapot. He is still in Torbay Hospital and has lost a lot of weight but otherwise reasonably OK. He has undergone some  more tests, at Derriford I think, but they too have come back inconclusive.
All a tad frustrating and we all wish Teapot a speedy recovery...hopefully in time for his upcoming holiday.

Over to the Hare(s). Co-Hare, Bluebird, was absent from the Circle but en route. Man-Pig and Bluebird had spent a pleasant and mainly sunny afternoon laying the trail.
Along our route we had encountered a lovely, and inquisitive, chocolate brown sheep who had her nose in the flour bag. We also encountered a couple of friendly horses. But the Hash would not be
interested in that. They wanted to know distances. Man-Pig espoused the usual porkies:

"For you, Beeflicker, the Longs' is just under 6. The Shorts' is just under 5 and the Walkers' is just under 4...........miles!"

Groans all round. It had gone down quite well.

"If it's too long for the Walkers, you will know where you are and you can plan your own route back", which is what I think is what quite a few of the Walkers did.

The Trail

The trail took us through a housing estate and to the crossroads in front of The Hungry Horse/Sloop. It was then up past the primary school and up again the Coffinswell Lane footpath to the first check. The trail went left and climbed to its highest point and another check, but nobody was fooled as the pack descended down the broad track and into Coffinswell.
No check at the road junction but a dot was quickly seen as the pack swung left passing a nice property for sale by Knight Frank (it must be a nice property if Knight Frank are marketing it!). Then a grind to a halt - a back check.
Beefy was soon on trail heading up a public footpath but not before Erection was convinced that he could battle his way through a hedge and up a steep bank when he was less that 15 feet from the actual trail. Fortunately, a call of "On-On" from Beefy prevented Erection from causing
any more damage to a resident's hedge.

The footpath opens onto a flat and recently mowed meadow in front of two rather prestigious houses. It was already quite dark so we didn't get to see our inquisitive chocolate sheep again. Where the public footpath joins Connybeare Lane a check had been kicked out to the left. The next check didn't lead anywhere, so it was carry on along Connybeare Lane to the Walkers/Long & Short split at last.

The Walkers went left and across the new(ish) public footpath that skirts the field and opens onto Blackenway Lane. From here the Walkers had a simple descent down Blackenway Lane before turning right into Milber Lane and heading towards Paraprick's abode. Then it was down Yewtree Climb (so named on Strava), past the Zig Zag quarry and onto the "OH" sign at the junction with the main road.

The Longs and the Shorts carried on across St Marychurch Road and down the ragged and rutted footpath that goes by the name of Waterwell Lane.
By Wren Cottage, the track passes under a small bridge and then crosses two fields before ending at the tiny hamlet of Haccombe.
Here the trail went down to a T-junction and then left towards Netherton. Halfway along this lane, we arrived at the one and only Long/Short split.

The Longs comprised Beefy, Beeflicker, Pisswell, Pollyfella, Ernie and Fukarewe. The trail took them right and onto a farm track that loops around and onto Shaldon Road at Netherton. Then came the interminable climb up the aptly named Hiller Lane to rejoin the Shorts at the junction of Long Lane
and Haccombe Path near the Newtake playing fields.

For the Shorts (Manopause, Erection, Smellie and Strap-On) it was up and up again,following the public footpath up to the eastern end of Long Lane...or not as turned out to be the case.
The lower end of this footpath has recently been fenced off so as to separate the footpath from the fields. However, the fencing is absent in the top field. This had Smellie and Strap-On searching for an exit in the middle of the field.

The next stile was hidden behind a large gorse bush in the top right hand corner of the field.

Back on track, it was a short trot down Haccombe Path before an arrow had us head due east  along the Milber Lane footpath and to rejoin the Walkers' trail above Zig Zag quarry. 

Home at last and time for a beer!

Down-Downs

All back safely and suitably replenished courtesy of Park'n'Ride, it was on to the Down-Downs. In the absence of Forrest Stump, U-Bend and Fallen Woman, who had to go home as she was feeling a ittle unwell, Man-Pig had to preside over his own trail.

"First, thank the pub for the scoff....and the beer". Cheers all round.

"What did we think of the trail?" Jeers all round.

Ernie. Poor Ernie, as the ditty goes. He still had the Hashshit shirt but this was only because Wet-Johnny couldn't make it this week - in Colombia, perhaps dealing with something, apparently.
Ernie looked at Smellie. "No. It's not you this week". Then Pisswell was named as a potential candidate before Ernie described Erection's understanding of theHare's description of what to do at a back check.
Namely, go back to the last dot and start looking for a trail from there. Not, "Create your own trail from there", as Erection started climbing through a hedge next to the dot!

"He was up the hedge like a rat up a drain pipe", recalled Ernie. Accordingly, a note for 'King Rat'.

It was good to have Bluebird back on the scene. He had the Jester's Hat from about 6 weeks ago. He described Sunday's monsoon weather and its destruction followed by the story of how Man-Pig was actually delighted by the downpour. This had resulted in the Pig's pool now being full enough to
engage the filtration system. Man-Pig jumped into his mankini and into the pool for the first time this year.....much to Mrs Man-Pig's surprise.....
"You're not going swimming are you? It's raining!"
Accordingly, the Pig received the second Down-Down; fortunately not sporting his mankini!

Any birthdays? Of course there was. This was supposed to have been Beefy's birthday hash from Widecombe. T-Humper was asked to explain how the Hash sing Happy Birthday to our blissfully unaware virgins, and off we went whilst Beefy despatched his half.
Beefy had baked some chocolate brownies for the occasion and duly shared them out from two sweetie tins. They all disappeared swiftly! Thanks, Beefy.

Someone had achieved their  big 500th run badge. This was an easy guess as Piltdown Man (who keeps a tally of these things) was pointing directly at Georgie Porgie. Georgie is not so keen on beer so she elected to have a glass of water instead.
Now, you would have thought that after 500 runs, Georgie would have remembered not to start drinking until after the singing had stopped. Well, errr, no. Georgie started drinking even before the singing had
started!

Was that it for the evening? No! Shitfaced announced to the very few people remaining in south Devon, who were not already aware, that T-Humper had become a Nan. That last half disappeared in an instant.
Congratulations Nan!

Next week

Next week's Hash is now at Forde Hall social club, Newton Abbot with Hares Hotlips, Zoot & Chuckles.
Note the change of venue and do NOT go to the Ten Tors as it shuts at nine o'clock apparently.

On-On to next week.