TVH3 The Words for 23rd October 2023

The Church House, Widecombe-in-the-Moor

Run No. 1992 (see Gregorian)

 

Beefy's postponed birthday Hash trail

 

HARE: Beefy 

 

Who wuz there: Beefy, Pisswell, Man-Pig, Forrest-Stump, Piltdown Man, Georgy Porgy, Checkmate, Beeflicker, Squeaky Bum, Strap-On, Strap-Dancer, Fukarewe, Ernie, Wet Johnny, Martin (now Base Camp), Threesum, Cheerio Beerio, Slip-on-Me, Gromit & Gazunder.

 

Circle

It had been dry all day in Kingskerswell. So dry, in fact, that I washed the car. This was tempting providence for, as soon as I got in the car, it started to rain. I had not checked the weather forecast but, apparently, rain had been forecast...drat.

 

Upon arriving at Widecombe-in-the-Moor Pisswell was directing traffic into the correct car park. I was wondering why the parking spaces looked rather big. I had initially parked in the coach park! Whata....

I followed other Hashers into The Church House which is immediately next to the church and sits at the edge of the triangular junction down to the Rugglestone. I had never been in before. It was rather impressive with huge oak beams. These appeared even larger due to the fairly low ceiling height for a very old building.

 

No sooner than we had sheltered from the rain, Beefy announced that we were circling up outside. We surrounded the old oak tree for our briefing. It was all quite ethereal with the flame of a single burning torch (made by Beefy) illuminating the Circle.

 

In the absence of Shitfaced, Piltdown Man welcomed all to to Beefy's belated birthday run...run no. 1993. No it isn't. It is run no. 1992. But Piltdown was having none of it so we settled for run no. 1993 [I shall leave it to the fountain of knowledge for all things Hash related, Bluebird, to assign the correct run number to The Words]. 

 

A particular welcome is extended to Slip-on-Me having recovered from a bout of covid and also to returnees Gromit and Gazunder who were visiting from Ashburton Hash....good to see you again.

"Are there any announcements?"

 

In the absence of Smellie, Beeflicker recalled that Hares are still required from 22 November. Ernie said that he'd lay one in December and Strap-On said that he'd be busy throughout December....although he'd have to grow that beard a tad if he was intent on securing seasonal employment!

 

Man-Pig had given up on seeking a volunteer to scribe many moons ago so said nothing. Hence it was over to the Hare who, once again, was dressed for summer.

 

"Thanks for coming. Especially in the rain. There may be some marks left? There are Walkers', Shorts' and Longs' trails. A lot of road and some of the Shorts' is very close to the Longs' but on road - the choice is yours. Scoff is free. Donations into the pot for the bottled beer".

 

The Trail

And with that we were off and heading towards the Rugglestone. At the first check, Beeficker took the footpath to the left only to find a cross. The pack pushed on past the Rugglestone.

 

Despite the rain having eased significantly, Fukarewe and I did think that the pub looked like an inviting alternative to a soggy trail....but neither of us had any money with us. Hence it was on to the second check. Once again, Beeflicker checked off-road but without reward as Man-Pig found three dots on tarmac. It wasn't long before Beeflicker caught up just as we arrived at the Long/Walkers and Shorts' split.

 

The Walkers' and the Longs' went right and directly up to Higher Dunstone. Once there, I assume that they all turned right and kept on road back into Widecombe?

 

The Longs' comprised Beeflicker, Man-Pig, Ernie and Fukarewe. For u,s it was straight on and up and up and up towards Pudsham.

 

Just before Scobitor, (a single dwelling) a check and the trail had us bear right and off road heading due south. Then we came across a strange mark: "VP" in flour. We looked into the blackness and saw.........nothing!

 

After a mere 500m, were were back on the black stuff and heading downhill to Cockingford.

The footpath to Higher Pudsham would have been an ideal place for a check but there was none visible. By this time, Beeflicker's torch could be seen at the top of a hill and Ernie and Fukarewe had caught up with the Pig.

 

Heading west now, we started an ascent and arrived at a check. Certain that we had seen Beeflicker's torch at the top of the hill straight in front of us, Man-Pig and Fukarewe stayed on road. Meanwhile, Ernie was on trail on a footpath that took him into a field to the right of us. But he was not alone. He had a frisky bull for company. He couldn't get out of that field fast enough.

 

At the top of the hill, where we thought we'd seen Beeficker, there was no sign of him, and no marks. There was, however, a useful road sign - Widecombe was one and three quarters of a mile to our right. Sure enough, after 200 yards we came to a footpath sign to our right only to meet up with Ernie again. We were back on trail. Even better, we were going downhill. We passed Pisswell's car and Beefy's abode and then ground to a halt.

 

At the junction that leads down to Venton, there was a Longs' arrow and it was pointing against us! Beeflicker said he would check back for marks. Man-Pig advised that the village was dead ahead but, if we wanted to visit the Rugglestone en route, we would be best to go right and back via Venton. The absence of cash, or even a credit card rather put paid to the Rugglestone option. This was further compounded by Beflicker who was running towards us shouting "On-On".

 

Back we went to Pisswell's car. Yes, there were marks and they took us up and past Beefy's residence and thence to the moor.

 

Well before reaching Wind Tor, the trail beared right and parallel with the edge of a dry stone stone wall heading almost due north. The marks were still clearly visible and frequent; sometimes at only 10 m intervals.

 

The trail took us across a small road just west of Southcombe and back onto the moor. We were on a minor trail parallel to, and just east of, Two Moors Way. Once again Beeflicker was some 200 yards in front.

 

Eventually, we came to a broad track and backtracked a little to a five bar gate. Just on the other side of the gate, a dot confirmed that we were now off the moor. It was all downhill. Another gate, and the worn and rugged track was replaced with a nice tarmac driveway. Down past the Old Inn and we were back at the car park.

 

The mist had just begun to come in but it had been a far drier run than expected. As soon as we started to get changed, it tipped down.....typical. Then it was time to sample some of Beefy's excellent cooking.

 

Down-Downs

As promised, Beefy had put the heating on and the spread was laid out. It all felt jolly cosy. Forrest-Stump assumed the role of RA and, without hesitation, awarded the Birthday Cake hat to Beefy...or did he? Chaos reigns as Beefy explained that his birthday has now been and gone, and there is an even more deserving candidate in our midst.

 

It is Martin's birthday. What a strange Hash name? Indeed it is as he hadn't yet been named. Hesitation turned to frustration and then complication. What did we have here? One birthday. Two birthdays? A naming or all three? 

 

Somehow, Beefy escaped a birthday drink and Forrest called for naming suggestions . Someone suggested Base Camp (and I don't know why). Even Threesum thought it was rubbish. The returning covid-free Georgy Porgy suggested "Heinz" as Martin is now 57. Cheerio Beerio put forward, 

"Pervert", but is backwards in coming forwards to explain her reasoning. Somehow, "Base Camp" prevailed and we ended up with "Here's to Base Camp....." followed by a Hash baptism accompanied by all the right notes - not necessarily in the right order.

 

Hopefully, the next Down-Down would be more straightforward. It was.

 

Fukarewe presented the Hashshit shirt to Beefy. But what for? This was for marking a Viewing Point on trail that revealed absolutely nothing. Apparently, when laying the trail in daylight, 

 

Beefy thought that it would make an ideal viewing point as he could see his house from there! Yes. I think you probably could.

 

Beeflicker had the Jester's Hat. Visitor, Gromit, is the first to spot the fact that it is actually a FC Barcelona hat....I don't think anyone at TVH had ever clocked that in the 15 years or so that we've had the award.

 

Beeflicker recounted the incredulous story of how he managed to lead the Long's for the entire trail.....but, nevertheless, still found Man-Pig ahead of him near Beefy's place. How on earth could that have happened?

 

How indeed? Accordingly, the Pig found himself the owner of a new hat for the following week.

Forrest was going to award the fourth Down-Down. His eyes set on "Checkers"....we don't have a "Checkers" but we do have a "Checkmate". The kindly young man offered Forrest a bowl of water upon his return from the run. In a scene reminiscent of Father Jack on Craggy Island...."water Fekking water". Father Forrest is not of the tea-totaller persuasion....but any beer will do. Hence a Down-Down to Checkmate for trying to keep Forrest on the straight and narrow....poor Perry never did get his bowl of water!

 

A final half was standing forlorn and looking for an owner. Were there any stories? There was one. I think it related to a Hasher's attempt to park as close to the Church House as possible (shades of Teapot, methinks) before being shoo'd away for appalling parking. Slip-on-Me got the last Down-Down, albeit in a pewter tankard...she prefers cut glass!

 

A final "Thankyou" to Beefy for the belated birthday trail, the venue, heating for the venue, the scoff and the beer, and it is all over till next week.

 

The stilton and leak pie was excellent, as were the other nibbles that I sampled. Well worth the journey. Well done Beefy - a man of many talents, cooking and welding!

 

GREGORIAN October 1582 - TVH3 October 2023

Man-Pig has asked for clarification of TVH run numbers. Before the explanation becomes shrouded in the mists of time and eventually lost to hashers years from now, I will explain.

 

All runs were 'normal' as at Monday 18th September - run number 1987.

 

What would have been #1988 on 25th September, coincided with Winfield's funeral. As a mark of respect for this great hasher, there was no run.

 

On the 2nd October, the run from the Lord Nelson would have logically been #1988 but the Grand Master decided that, perhaps for the sake of continuity (and the forthcoming 2000th Run) that it would be run number 1989.

 

As it was in the October of 1582 when Pope Gregory XIII introduced the Gregorian calendar that superseded the Julian calendar, now TVH has a revised calendar of sorts.

 

The Gregorian calendar initially created much confusion as ten days were effectively removed - thus the period from October 5th to October 14th, 1582 never existed.

 

Running contrary to this, TVH has, in effect, gained one trail.

 

So the answer to the question 'what run number was it on 23rd October 2023?'. The answer is, officially it was #1992 but in 'old money' it was #1991.

 

Next week

Next week's Hash is The Day of the Dead Hash (Diem di Muerto?). This is to celebrate the lives of Hashers' passed (into the next world). Wear something bright or a red dress. Even better, paint your face as a skull. I am pretty sure that we will be circling up in Chudleigh car park. The On-Down is The ship Inn.

 

On-On to next week.