Lord Nelson, Kingskerswell
Run No. 2005
HARES: Shitface & 'Friends'
Who
wuz there: Shitfaced, Man-Pig, Bluebird, Hotlips, Zoot, Warmfront,
Smellie, Piltdown Man, Georgy Porgy, Beefy, Pisswell, Beeflicker, Well
Hopped, Big End, Roger the Dodger, Ablesemen, Twin Buffers, Squashed
Blls, Slip-on-Me, Strap-On, Wet-Johnny, Erection, Manopause, Wetfart,
Threesum, Cheerio Beerio (latter 2 pub only), and returnees Fishbait
& Knottie.
Circle
For
January, the weather was particularly mild, circa 13 degees. However,
the wind had picked up and the pack had dressed
accordingly......well, most of the pack. I can only assume that
Ipplepen must have been geographically relocated into the southern
hemisphere as all three Penners were sporting t-shirts and shorts both
on trail and in the pub.
Shitfaced
welcomed all, including long term absentee Fishbait. Good to see you
again. There was a call for numbers i.e. how many of you out there
want scoff after the run?
Smellie needs Hares for a single date in April and then we're OK till May!
Bluebird
stepped into the circle to give a plug for the Out of Tunas. They are
playing at St Mary's Church, Kingskerswell this coming Friday. If you
haven't heard them it is....well....an experience! (A SELL-OUT, no
tickets available.)
Finally,
one of the Hares is called into the circle. He imparted little
information apart from advising some of the Shorts to do the Longs as
the Shorts is quite boring.
Trail
We
started up Fluder Hill. Just past the first junction with Southey
Lane was supposed to be the first Walkers/Long & Short split but
it wasn't there. Well it was. It just wasn't visible. Someone had put
their recycling bin right on top of the marks.
Now,
so as to avoid offending locals, I try not to put marks on what is
clearly other people's private property. I always make the effort to try
to avoid door steps and front gateposts. My preference is to put
marks on on pavements and lamppost bases in built up areas.
The
recycling bins had been placed so squarely over the marks that it
must have been done deliberately. Accordingly, the Pig moved the bins
18 inches to one side whilst simultaneously giving verbal directions
to the Walkers to descend down Daccombe Mill Lane.
Three
quarters of a mile up Fluder Hill, the terrain levels off and we
arrived at the first Long/Short split at Kingskerswell Cross. The
Shorts descended down Willowpark Lane whilst the Longs headed into
woodland for a zigzag that eventually would take them back onto Fluder
Hill at Orestone Cross. Beefy had found two crosses but no trail.
Eventually,
an arrow was spotted leading down Orestone Lane. This time Beefy
found a back check. Everyone else was hanging around the Hare in the
expectation of him imparting some guidance - none was forthcoming.
An
expeditionary force of one (Pisswell) checked out a path in Orestone
Plantation marked "pedestrians" but only to find a cross. There was
only one other avenue. Hey presto, a mark! All the Longs were back on
trail running on a footpath that exits onto Kingskerswell Road
opposite Torbay Holiday Centre (formerly Barton Hall/Torbay ski
centre).
We
were back on road for about 200 yards before the marks had us back on
a woodland track that runs parallel with Kingskerswell Road up to its
junction with Daccombe Hill Lane and a check.
No-one
was fooled. All descended down the unbelievably steep hill towards
Daccombe. Piddler confessed to Smellie that he'd tried cycling up this
hill. Nutty. I could barely get the Harley up here. I'm amazed that
traffic is allowed to use the route.
At
the Daccombe Hill/Orestone Lane junction was another check. Again,
no-one was fooled. At Daccombe there was a check, but it was relatively
obscure and everyone veered left towards Coffinswell.
Here
we bumped into the Bird coming the other way. He guided returnees
Knottie and Fishbait to the Walkers trail whilst Man-Pig, Smellie and
Piddler took an off-trail shortcut.
Being
off trail, we did not expect to encounter any of the pack on our
shortcut, and certainly not running in the wrong direction. But, there
in front of us were two head torches closing fast. These were
Warmfront and Beeflicker attempting to get back on trail.
We
rejoined the second leg of the Long and Shorts' trail for a loop over
Kerswell Hill. Piddler and I let Smellie run on. What a mistaka. We
could see her in the distance at the corner of the Sloop. She must have
been standing on the On-Home mark and a huge arrow. We looked on
incredulously as she started running towards Newton Abbot - "Not that
way Smellie".
It was a relatively short run. Bang on 8.30 and only 200 yards from a beer and a chicken casserole.
Down-Downs
The
RA thanked the pub for the beer and for putting on the scoff
especially for us - the Lord Nelson is, predominantly, a dry pub.
Beeflicker
had a new award to give away. Guinness hat of the sort that is
always wheeled out near St Patrick's Day (17th March). This he presented
to Ablesemen for an illumination issue. Not a headtorch but a
motorcar.
Able
had been kind enough to give Beeflicker a lift back to Newton Abbot
after his Hash from Chudleigh Knighton. Now Ablesemen, being an
ecologically minded person, decided that she would do her bit to save
the planet. She would save electricity by driving back to Newton Abbot
without any lights on. How very commendable! For your valiant attempts
to save the planet, you get a Down-Down.
Man-Pig
had two awards, the Hashshit shirt (nice and damp as he'd worn it
around the trail) and the Jester's hat. About the only thing he'd seen
on trail were a couple of Hashers that were off trail. Taking an
off-trail short-cut at the edge of Coffinswell, he saw two head torches
coming towards him.
"Can't
be Hashers", I thought, "They're off trail and running in the wrong
direction". Bong! Wrong. They were Hashers. It was Warmfront and
Beeflicker.
"OK. Which one of you two clowns was in front?"
It was Warmfront so she, appropriately, got the Jester's hat.
"Are there any more stories of Hashers off trail? Namely heading towards Newton Abbot?"
Pisswell
alleged that she was led astray by Strap-On. So, who got the Hashshit
shirt, the leader or the led? The shirt went to Pisswell. This was a
combined Down-Down so a note for the "Misled clown".
A final half remained. Bluebird stepped forward. I thought that he was going to drink it himself as Hare.
No.
Bluebird was a little put out. He had laid the Walkers and Shorts on
Sunday evening. Man-Pig had laid the Longs on Monday morning;
unbeknown to him the Walkers and Shorts had already been laid by the
Bird.
Hence,
the anal Pig decided to check the Bird's homework and correct his
mistakes. So, in what has become a bit of a rarity in recent years,
the Hare got to have a Down-Down.
Next week
Next
week's Hash is from Ye Olde Jolly Sailor, 46 Northumberland Pl,
Teignmouth, Teignmouth. The Hare is Pollyfella and we understand that
sausage and chips will be available in the pub.
On-On to next week. MP
No comments:
Post a Comment