Circle up from Heatree Activity Centre, Manaton
With Pisswell
FLINTSTONES HASH
Who Wuz there?
Pisswell,
Beefy, Piltdown man, Georgie Porgy, Checkmate, Leyton, Oscar, Beth,
ManPig, Forrest, Smellie, Beeflicker, Satnav, Wet Johnny, Johnny (the
Wet Jonny Imposter wearing matching coats), Runner bean, Peter, Ernie
and Cory (grandson), Strap on, Gaffa, Goldfish, Cheesy Nipples, Chessy
Helmet, Coldtits, Elisa, Jonathon, Miss Inn, Soapy, Melon Picker,
Palmolive, Andy, Sarah, Wetfart, Artful Dogger.
(Hope that’s correct as I couldn’t see very well by the firelight, nor could anyone)
Circle:
In
the absence of a GM, Piltdown Man welcomed hashers to circle around
the fire pit in the middle of the round house at Heatree. Manpig
bravely ran through hot smouldering coals to make room for others and we
all smelt smoky pig from there on.
A
young virgin was announced and dealt with in the usual way! Returnees
Gaffa and Goldfish ( I think) were welcomed back, although there were
others just too frightened of joining the inner circle.
Lurking
in the dimsy light were also Cheesy Nipples and Cheesy Helmet, not
seen since their award winning Sandridge Barton wine tour hash last
year.
Hare raiser Smellie only has one date left for “the last day of the year”, Dec 30th, if anybody wants to lay a trail.
On to The hare:
Pisswell
thanked those who had worn Flintstone outfits and invited them to the
inner circle. As Smellie was as yet undressed, the winner would be
decided later. A free grout ( Rugglestone currency) would be awarded to
the best fancy dress, which could be exchanged for a pint for the
winner.
Pisswell
explained the normal 3 trails. She had forgotten her tablet of stone
to read from, so made up some distances, each one longer than the
other. She had got very cold and wet so although there were some checks
this week, they were only one and on. After Cheerio Beerio’s great
swim at the beach success, there would again be time for a quick dip,
no swim wear required!
The
hare had left her square wheeled bike available for hire but had
decided to take her hastily made cardboard car with enamel plated
steering wheel. (Petrol not yet invented!)
The hash left to an on-on chorus of yabbadabbadoo!
The trail:
Yabba-dabba-doo!
Flintstones, at the round house
It’s the hash tonight for Teign valley
From the town of Heatree
Virgin ground wrote down in history
Circle in the Stone Age house we meet
Dressed up, now whose outfit can you beat?
When you’re with Teign valley
Have a yabba-dabba-doo time,
Best fancy dress time,
we’ll have a Flintstones time
…………
Lit up by the lights there
Pisswell (hare) will tell you all the way
All go to Heath-er-Combe
And then “make your choice”, what’s she will say
Walkers take a quick way if they like
Or bor-row the hare’s old square wheeled bike
Shorts go to Nats-worthy
Whilst the longs go up a steep hill
A bitter sweet pill
A Heathercombe steep hill
……………..
Pointless! You’ve the same place
Some more late as it is plain to see
Crossing the same road there
(Locals call it gate at Nats-wor-thy.)
Let’s run down the lane towards Jays grave
All will join to see her resting place
When you’re choosing splits there
Have a yabba-dabba chew time
A quick dip in time
A crunchy crisps old time!
…….
Walkers to the left there
Whilst the others look up Bowerman’s nose!
Shorts straight on to Blissmoor,
Whilst the longs go right up to his toes
Sneeze blows, Bowerman is full of snot
Blissmoor is now bog, with tors on top
On home to Heatree now
Have an on downs Rugglestone time
At Widecombe time
We’ll have a great old time!
We’ll have a gay old time!!!!
Yabaa-dabba-doo!
Out takes from the trail:
Coldtits arrived late and then got lost on the Heatree grounds before the start!
Wetfart had a lift up the first hill and then asked if the rest was all downhill!
The first hill for the longs was endless, causing Pisswell to wheel spin when she stopped to offer oxygen from her car!
The
resulting downhill through a bog (in an eerie Dartmoor mist) was I
imagine pretty hard core as the hare was pretty scared laying it. Even
brave fire fighter Cheesy Helmet said he left deep skid marks!
Natsworthy
gate seemed to go without incident but the quick dip did cause a
little confusion! Kitty Jay turned in her grave as she hosted crisps,
bread sticks, Doritos and a selection of dips, so why were hashers
taking their clothes off? Beefy and Beeflicker had barely anything on!
The
split at Jays grave was getting late. Most walkers could get off road
to Cripdon Down South Tor and then home. shorts and longs went to
varying views of Bowermans nose. Lovely to see some photos of the
heather and gorse there. And sorry, I must apologise, but the maniac
cloud burst earlier at that point, had caused the hare to climb down
over steep rocks from Hayne Down North Tor and just shelter in
Bowerman’s nasal passages (nasal hare) and not give a shit! ( meant to
say that at the circle). So bit rubbish there.
Jonathan
tried out Manaton road a few times (nice pub, the Kestor) and then
decided to go through Blissmoor with everyone else. The hare had
snipped away the brambles, flattened the bracken, hoovered the ticks,
sponged the bog so it was quite easy in the oncoming dark!
Eventually,
all returned by phone light but with firefighter Cheesy Helmet
leading the rescue mission of Cheesy Nipples, Pisswell, Manpig and
Elisa (super hashos), and rescuing Ernie and Cory, Coldtits, Jonathon
and Forerst. (who was already at the pub I think!) Please let me know
if this was correct. Hope I didn’t forget anybody! Is anyone still out
there?
The down downs at the Rugglestone:
The
latecomers came in to an empty pub! Had they all gone home? In fact,
there was no room at the Inn and they had been offered a lowly outdoor
shed for the miracle of all getting home in one piece!
Unfortunately,
some hashers had chosen not to stay as their welcome had not been
fitting of the importance of their mighty conquest! All jokes aside, I
am really sorry about that.
The
pub had provided free down downs though, although they took some time
for the hare to obtain. Maybe that’s why the RAs Forrest and Manpig
forgot to thank the pub for the beers and they wouldn’t have heard us
anyway!
Manpig was an amazing songmeister but I can’t remember what we sang so I will make it up or miss it out.
First up was Beeflicker who had gone off piste into an angry farmer's field.
“Here’s to the piste taker, he’s so blue….”
Strap
on had noted Beefy and Pisswell had swapped matching hash t-shirts.
Beefy had said that he was “unable to pull it off without help!”
“Here’s to the pulled off….”
The
hare, whose hash was “too dry”, “too much sun”, “too flat”, “too much
swimming”, “too many graves”, or some thing like that, was given a
down down. She asked if the longs were exhausted from the hills. Had
they preferred it up? Or preferred it down? As there was a quick
recovery from all involved, everyone appeared satisfied!
And
then to the free pint for the best dressed. As Smellie was not in the
running anymore, votes were given for Wilmur Coldtits, Caveman Beefy,
Cavewoman Pisswell and then Forrest. Winning by the most decibels was
Forrest, who looked great swinging a huge mallet and club and wearing
a black wig and dead rabbit skin waistcoat! He not only won the grout
for a free pint at the pub but awarded himself the remaining down
down!
Before
leaving, he amused us by the tale of Archangels missed down down from
the week before. Apparently, whilst paddling his kayak (and offering
his David Hasselhoffs lifesaving ability) at Cheerio Beerios hash and
dip in the sea, he was so swept away by the skimpy bikinis and thongs
that he mislaid his paddle. So he is now dobbed in and definitely up
the creek without a paddle!
Next
week: Beefys hash at middle car park at Trendlebeer down, with the on
down at The Dolphin at Bovey Tracey (That’s Bovey, Shitfaced)
On on to next week or ….
Yabbadabbadoo!
Yabbadabbadoo!
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