TVH3 The Words for 5th August 2024

Trenchford Reservoir followed by the Dolphin Inn, Bovey Tracey

 

Run No. 2032

 

'IN THROUGH THE OUT DOOR'

 

 

 

HARE: Forrest Stump

 

Who wuz there: Forrest-Stump, Perry, Mitch, U-Bend, Man-Pig, Cheerio Beerio, Puddle Plopper, Tinkle Toes, Archangel, Beefy, Pisswell, Piltdown Man, Georgy Porgy, Smellie, Beeflicker, Squeaky Bum, Fukarewe, Ernie, Slip-on-Me, Wetfart, Coldtits, Warmfront, Psycho, Runner Bean, Melonpicker, Soapy, Poacher, Justin & Dylan, Eliza, Jonathan, Andy, Miss'Ing, and virgins Sarah and Beth

 

Circle

In the absence of our GM, Shitfaced, U-Bend presided over the Circle. U-Bend started as he meant to go on, namely by welcoming returnee Warmfront. The only error here was that Warmfront was running (read scoffing) with TVH3 last week. 

 

Then U-Bend welcomed visitors Beth, brought by Miss'Ing and Sarah, brought by Andy to Run number 2033. it is Run number 2032. Both virgins were indoctrinated with a light dusting of flour.

 

Smellie repeated last week's update on Hare Raising i.e. that there were only three spots to fill before the end of the year.

 

A very brief update from Wetfart on Teapot. Teapot continues to make slow progress and progress of any sort is good. Long may it continue.

 

So over the the Hare. We were going to be treated to both a Longs' and a Shorts' trail. There would be two Long/Short splits with "sweeties" at each split. The first/last parts of the in/out trail are the same so there are marks on both sides of the track. The marks are laid in sawdust. I didn't hear any mention of distances. Oh, and as a post script, yes there is a Walkers' trail.

 

"Check it out".

 

Trail

A tightly clustered pack headed out of the car park and soon picked up the trail. At the first check, Poacher dropped down towards the path that leads to the pumping house whilst the Pig carried straight on with Runner Bean hard on his shoulder. 

 

Another check was encountered at a small footbridge that crossed to the east of Trenchford reservoir. The Pig carried on up the west side and found a couple of rubbed out and indecipherable marks and then three dots. "On-On".

 

Following the Pig, were Pisswell, Eliza and Fukarewe. Not following were the rest of the pack. The marks were pretty much in the centre of the path so nothing to worry about.....except:

"Why hadn't Warmfront, Runner Bean and Psycho caught up".

 

The reason was that they had crossed the foot bridge to find a check and a trail....the correct outward trail.

 

Meanwhile, the Infamous Four carried on in blissful ignorance. We were all quite chuffed with ourselves. FRB's! That'll teach the Topiary Twins to have seconds of strawberries and cream.

It wasn't long before we came to a smaller footbridge at the top of Trenchford Reservoir and more marks.

 

We climbed through the woods towards the junction of Tottiford and Kennick reservoirs. However, now the marks were on our left.

 

We kept on trail, checking out the checks and kicking them out in the right (wrong) direction. 

 

A check at a small road had us bear due north. The fact that no-one was behind us was just beginning to bug us. Sure enough, at the next T-junction two big arrows were pointing the way we'd just came. We had obviously come out on the in trail but we were still on trail.

 

We took a right and rejoined the west bank of Kennick reservoir near the fishermen's hut/clubhouse.

Coming towards us was Smellie doing the Walkers' trail closely followed by U-Bend. These were the only two Walkers that we came across. 

 

A little further on, we came across a tupperware box full of sliced oranges. This must have been at Walkers/ Long & Shorts split. It was still full of oranges so we guessed that the Longs and Shorts had yet to pass through.

 

We could hear calling from the other side of Kennick reservoir and Man-Pig saw a Hasher wearing orange in the far distance.

 

"Are you?"

No reply.

"Are you?", he called again.

 

Still no reply and the Hasher wasn't moving.

 

We crossed the causeway to the other side of the reservoir to confront our deaf Hasher. Had he got blocked ears like me last week? As we got closer, the cause of his deafness became apparent. The Hasher was, in fact, an orange life buoy. That would also explain why he hadn't moved! Whatamistakatomaka!

 

The trail followed the eastern bank of Kennick reservoir up through Laployd Plantation and to the second Long/Short split at the north end of the reservoir. We looked for more oranges. There were none. It was getting decidedly dipsy, especially under cover of foliage. The Short looked tempting but Pisswell convinced us to do the Long. At the back of my mind, I had visions of the Blackenstone Rock.

 

We pushed on along a relatively unused track and up to Laployd Barton. Here we hit road and took a left and proceeded uphill. This was looking suspiciously familiar. Sure enough, within 5 minutes we were past the Blackenstone Rock and at a back check. No surprise there. 

 

Atop the rock were some Hashers including Ernie. Aerial guidance assisted our route up to the rock. It was an ideal photo opportunity from the summit of the Blackenstone before our descent and the last orange stop.

 

Now it was a straightforward run back down to the reservoir and a backtrack along the trail whence we started. 

 

Forrest passed us in his truck and asked if anyone wanted a lift....it was getting decidedly dark. But we are Hashers and we eat plenty of carrots for times just as these. We politely declined the offer of a swift return to the car park and retraced our steps.

 

Fortunately, Forrest had remarked our incorrectly kicked-out marks in the right direction. It was so dark that Eliza illuminated the route with the torch in her mobile phone.

 

In no time we were back at the car park. I asked Fukarewe if he'd like his Hashshit shirt back from last week.. He replied:

 

"No thankyou Man-Pig. I think you'll be keeping it".

 

Down-Downs

We eventually get back to the Dolphin at 9.35 and it is dark. Inside the pub, the layout has been rearranged slightly.

 

The raised dining area to our right has gone. It is no longer raised and it had been replaced with a snooker table. 

 

The net result of this was that our Hashers were split between two large tables either side of the entrance door. Additionally, and this was a first for me, there were (occupied) chairs at the bar which made it nigh on impossible to order a beer from the entrance side of the bar.

 

Forrest had tried securing some free Down-Downs when booking the pub. Alas, this now seems to be a thing of the past for the Dolphin. Despite this, Forrest bought the Down-Downs and the show goes on.

Man-Pig is RA'ing.

 

"What did we think of the trail?"

"Lovely" and "Too short" seemed to be the order of the day.

"Are there any awards from last week?"

 

Fukarewe has been reunited with the Hashshit shirt, but not for long. He is chomping at the bit to reveal the story of the short sighted Pig and his conversation with an orange life buoy.

 

"A note for the short sighted one" as Man-Pig despatches his DD.

 

Next up is Ernie who is really keen to offload the turd hat. This he awards to our reserve GM U-Bend. This is for welcoming everyone to Run no. 2033 when it is Run no. 2032 and, additionally, describing Warmfront as a returnee when both he and Warmfront were at last week's Hash.

 

"A note for the short sighted one number two".

 

There are no more awards but there are two stories. The first is about a Hasher who did the whole trail whilst leaving his hatchback in the car park with the tailgate up. That was Piltdown Man. 

 

The other is about lost property. Coldtits has found a set of car keys. They are Land Rover keys. Smellie looks at Man-Pig who pulls his keys from his pocket. All eyes turn to Slip-on-Me.

"Where were they found?"

 

"In the Ladies".

In a decibel race there is only one winner - Slip-on-Me. Case closed.

A note for, "Les cles perdu" (the lost keys).

 

Finally, it would be somewhat remiss if the Hare were not to receive a thoroughly deserved Down-Down. A long and excellent trail laid single handedly and he paid for the Down-Downs.

 

A note for, "The Pissy Hare". Forrest said that he wouldn't lay another trail unless he got a Down-Down.

 

Down-Down duly delivered. Thankyou.

 

Next week

Next week's Hash is from Torquay Rugby Club. Our Hare is Cheerio Beerio.

I wonder what position she plays in? Keep your answers to yourself.

 

On-On to next week. MP