TVH3 The Words for 26th August 2024

Trendlebere Down middle car park

Run No. 2035

 

HARE: Beefy

 

Who wuz there: Beefy, Shitfaced, Man-Pig, Hotlips, Zoot, Pisswell, Beeflicker, Ernie, Slip-on-Me, Wetfart, Runner Bean, Peter (Runner Bean's brother), Piltdown Man, Georgy Porgy, Smash, Melonpicker, Soapy, Miss-Ing, Miss'Ing's daughter, Justin, Dylan, Ollie, Wide Receiver and returnee Red Rum and one virgin whose name I'm afraid I don't get who was brought along by Slip-on-Me

 

Circle

Another bank holiday. what would the turnout be? Not bad actually....23. Beefy's Facebook directions to the car park were inch perfect, 0.2 miles past the cattle grid so no-one got lost en route to the Hash. The return to the Dolphin would be a little more complex as the road had been closed off at the roundabout so we all had to loop around via the swimming pool road.

 

Shitfaced welcomed all to run number 2035 and asked if either Zoot or Hotlips had anything to say about this weekends TVH3 40th anniversary weekend.....nothing! All sorted then.

 

No Smellie so no update from the Hare Razor but I think we only have 30th December to fill.

 

Shitfaced asks the long time absent returnee and a virgin into the Circle. He purloins Beefy's flour and welcomes both in the time honoured manner....a liberal dusting of flour on their trainers. Talking of trainers, Shitfaced was sporting a new design of super light running wear. I think that they are called flip flops and he still managed to get to the sweetie stop before anyone else.

 

Over to the Hare, who was a little red in the face as he'd only just arrived back from laying the trail. Beefy explained that tonight's trail was not so long; about four and a half for the Longs, three and three quarters for the Shorts and the trail could be as low as two and a half for the Walkers BUT....only if they heeded the marks. 

 

Beefy then proceeded to put two new style marks on the ground - a " "T" and an "XX". I think the idea was that, if you wanted an ultra short, simply walk through these marks.

 

Trail

The trail crossed the main road and into Yarner Wood and the first of three Long/Short splits. The Shorts and Walkers carried straight on whilst the Longs went left and down the broad track that leads down to the Southwest Water pumping station. 

 

Runner Bean, Beeflicker, Justin and Dylan were runaway FRB's with Man-Pig and Peter chasing hard. Also on the longs were Miss-Ing and Ernie but we didn't see them again until we were back at the car park.

 

For all things that go down there must be an equal an opposite part of the trail that goes up. 

 

Sure enough, just after running through the SWW car park, the trail diverted onto a narrow upward path before opening onto a wider track. Peter succumbed to a stitch and slowed down just before we overtook Slip-on-Me and friend. 

 

The broad track was initially flat and then dropped a little before a sharp U-bend where we passed Soapy, Melon Picker and Ollie. 

 

A little further on, we passed Zoot and Hotlips just before arriving at the second Long/Short split. A sharp left and downhill for the Longs on what proved to be a large loop that took us back to this L/S split to rejoin the Walkers & Shorts' trails.

 

At the bottom of the Longs' loop, I caught up with Beeflicker, Justin and Dylan and stayed with them for the rest of the trail. Runner Been was well out in front and all of the checks had been kicked out.

On our return to the second L/S split, we caught up with Red Rum just before the final L/S split. The last Long took us around the western periphery of Yarner Woods before we again rejoined the Walkers and the Shorts. 

 

Once again, we passed Slip-on-Me and friend, Ollie, Melonpicker, Soapy, Zoot and Hotlips in exactly the same order as we'd encountered them previously. 

 

We dropped down to a semi-open area where some Dartmoor ponies had congregated. They would have made a good photo had we stopped.

 

In next to no time, we were at the sweetie stop where we caught up with Shitfaced, Miss'Ing's daughter, Piltdown Man, Georgy Porgy and, of course, the Hare. We were treated to three varieties of Haribos and then the final trek home. down, down and down a broad track where we nearly overshot a tiny bridge to our left.

 

We now embarked on a climb up and along a narrow path and through a gate onto a wide grassed track. this was the final downhill and back to the gate whence we originally entered Yarner Wood. It was 8.38pm. A short but thoroughly enjoyable run and no need for torches. Time for a beer!

 

Down-Downs

Forrest-Stump had got waylaid at the Lustleigh show where Perry & Mitch had won the dog racing competition so it was down to Man-Pig to RA.

 

For a change there we're quite a few awards present from previous weeks.

 

First up was Hotlips who had the Hashshit shirt. This Hotlips awarded to Red Rum. Her misdemeanour(s)? Forgetting what almost every Hash mark stood for. Despite calls for red Rum to remove her top she sensibly wore the bio hazard over her blouse. "Hold it in your hand Mrs Murphy"

Wide Receiver has the Checking Chicken hat from Cheerio's Hash a fortnight ago. This he gives to Peter (Runner Bean's brother) for getting lost on trail and then getting even more lost after seeking some misdirections from a passing motorcyclist. This subsequently dictated that Pisswell had to go out in her car and rescue him from Trendlebere upper car park. A note for, "The misguided one".

 

Shitfaced has the Jesters' hat. This he awards to Pisswell. this is not for being a knight in shining armour and for recovering a young man (Peter) from Trendlebere upper car park. This is for suggesting that they stop at a lay-by on the way back.....should have brought the camper van! A note for "The sex pest".

 

The RA was just about to give the final award to the Hare when there was a shout from the floor. "Justin has yet to be named".

 

There were some suggestions based on his Christian name along the lines of "two inches" but his profession is a potter. The unanimous vote/roar was for Wedgie...after Josiah Wedgwood. The RA gets Wedgie on his knees and duly anoints him under the powers invested in him by the great Hash God...."urbi et orbi I baptise you and from this day on thou shalt be known as Wedgie".

 

The poor Hare hadn't had a drink but he was a tad thirsty after spending the evening running around for 13 miles so he was appreciative of the last half pint of water. Some people are so easily pleased.

 

Next week

Next week's Hash is from The Moorland Hotel with Slip-on-Me haring. Bring your torches as it's just beginning to get dipsy now after 8.30.

 

On-On to next week. MP