TVH3 The Words for 2nd September 2024

Tinpickle & Rhum, Moorland Hotel, Haytor

Run No. 2039

 

HARE: Slip-on-Me

 

 

 

Who wuz there: Slip-on-Me, Shitfaced, Man-Pig, Forrest-Stump, Perry, Archangel, Beefy, Pisswell, Beeflicker, Able Semen, Wetfart, Runner Bean, Smellie, Coldtits, Poacher, U-Bend, Big End, Well Hopped, Ned, Psycho, Warmfront, Johnny, Red Rum, Melonpicker, Soapy, Justin, Dylan, Wide Receiver, Cheesy Nipples, Cheesy Helmet (pub only I think) and virgin Harry - Pisswell's son

 

Circle

It was one day after the TVH3 40th anniversary away weekend. How many would turn up? A very respectable 27 as it turned out. Slip-on-Me was delighted with the turnout, especially as the weather forecast had been on the damp side. Even more incredulous give the state of some Hashers sore heads the previous morning.

 

Shitfaced welcomed all into the Circle and immediately observed an unfamiliar face....Harry. Harry is a virgin and also Pisswell's son. There is an absence of flour in the Circle but the Hare scoots off and comes back with some sawdust to anoint Harry's trainers with.

 

Smellie has no announcements about Hare Raising. Shitfaced is just about to hand the Circle over to the Hare when Man-Pig butts in.

 

"Can I have a volunteer for The Words for the anniversary weekend? Runs 2036, 2037 & 2038."

Forrest is volunteered as he was the ring leader behind Saturday's post disco shot-fest.

So over to the Hare.

 

"The trail is laid in an assortment of materials, none of them flour - mainly sawdust. It is not very long; Longs' 3 ,miles, Shorts' 2 miles and Walkers' 1 mile", all much to the delight of the still fragile competitors in the shots competition.

 

"Does anyone know why the bar is called the Tinpickle & Rhum?"

 

Nobody knows except Wide Receiver. Apparently the "Tinpickle & Rhum" sign over the entrance to the bar was found in the loft of the hotel and the name stuck.

Finally:

"There is a pickle and rum stop at the quarry".

 

Trail

What could possibly go wrong on a 3 mile Hash?

 

We were directed out of the lower entrance to the hotel car park for our first challenge. Searching for a mark....any sort of mark. Wide receiver went downhill towards Pinchaford. Poacher headed for the granite railway track and everyone else congregated around the small green with the telephone kiosk.

After a while Poacher alleged that he was "On" and we followed him across the road, onto the moor and along the granite tramway.

 

In the distance to our left, we could see the distinct shape of Slip-on-Me's Landrover climbing up towards the quarry.....at least we knew where we were going to end up.

 

As we moved along the tramway, we came to several spots which would have been ideal places to put a check or a Long/Short split. Eventually, we came to a fork in the tramway. This was a perfect spot for a split. After a lot of searching, we found an "S" and an arrow pointing downhill. 

 

The Longs carried on straight ahead only to find a cross..... perplexing as the only other obvious route was an even shorter track that leads directly up to the quarry. Poacher back-checked towards Smallacombe Rocks. Wide Receiver also back-checked on a minor track that led up to the quarry. Most Hashers were still running back from the cross. Where was the Longs' trail? 

 

We had Hashers speed out all over the moor. Eventually, we gave up on searching for the elusive Long and embarked on the Short. This was basically due west down and then up to Holwell Tor. 

 

We then headed for Emsworthy Rocks before running out of marks again. From on-high atop Haytor, Wide Receiver and Slip-on-Me were shouting directions to befuddled and bamboozled Hashers.

 

We all made our way across country and through a ravine that formed part of an area of quarried stone at the end of one of the tramline's spurs. I was following Big End and Well Hopped as we climbed out of the narrow gulley and onto open ground between Haytor and Emsworthy Rocks. It was only ten past eight but is was getting very dipsy indeed but, fortunately, dry. Somehow, by the time that I skirted around to the south side of Haytor, I'd lost sight of Big End and Well Hopped and, indeed, every other Hasher. 

 

With the broad open lawn down to Haytor middle car park I commenced my run home

 but........something's missing - and it's not just other Hashers. Half way down, the penny dropped - THE BEER STOP; well, pickles and rum stop.

 

U-turn. Back up towards Haytor and look for the broadest track to my right. I found a narrow track and headed northeast. After only a couple of hundred yards, I spied the distinct shape of a Landrover roof and a solitary Hasher. It was Red Rum who was about to make her way back to the hotel. She advised that everyone else was in the quarry.

 

"Hey presto!", the drink stop was ahead of me including all of the other Hashers except for Poacher and Archangel. And what a drink stop it was. A flavoured rum, pickles comprising red cabbage, beetroot and green chillies, homemade bread, cheese and biscuits and some sweet biscuits with a whortleberry base.....delicious.

 

It was dark now. This week most Hashers had remembered to bring torches. The final leg was shared with Pisswell and Forrest Stump descending down the vehicular track from the quarry to the road and then the final 300 yards back to the hotel.

 

Down-Downs

Forrest-Stump had drawn the short straw and was RA'ing.

 

The drink stop had been excellent. The absence of marks had given us all a a giggle rather than a headache and the tot of rum was just enough to clear the vestiges of the weekend's hangover. Hence the first Down-Down goes to the Hare for her excellent refreshment stop.

 

"Do we have any awards?"

 

Red Rum has the Hashshit shirt and a simple story. Someone had mentioned that they only come to the Hash for the beer and not the run. Amazingly, this was not Only Here for the Beer. It was Big End. "Hold it in you hand Mrs Murphy".

 

Next we had the Wet Johnny doppelgänger up and I didn't know what for....impersonating Wet-Johnny? No, it was apparently for forgetting to pay his pound. Anyway, Johnny gets a beer and a note to, "Here's to non-Wet-Johnny....." and also gets the Checking Chicken Hat.

 

The final half pint of ale and the final award. Pisswell has the Jester's hat and, despite fierce competition, Beefy gets it for being the most drunk of the weekend. This included making a mess of Pisswell's van. Beefy tried to palm this off on Smellie alleging that Smellie had been very much looking forward to Beefy's trail the previous week. But this was when it had been scheduled for Staverton Beer Festival. However, last week's trail had to be relocated to Trendlebere down where Smellie failed to make an appearance. She had, however, made it to the beer festival on Sunday afternoon so the wandering half pint of ale found itself back in Beefy's hands. A note for the "inebriated one" or some such similar moniker.

 

Just before we left, we thanked the pub for having us just before we risked being thrown out. Beeflicker had found a pair of lady's trainers on trail and Forrest was determined to auction them off in a bid to get the weekend's collection for the "Pete's Dragons" mental health charity up to £600. He banged his hand on the table so hard, to mark the end of the auction, that he sent Warmfront's beer glass flying which smashed on the stone floor!

 

.....and there concludeth the Hash.

 

Next week -NOTE change of venue

Next week's Hash is from the Church CP at Manaton OD Kestor Inn with Poacher haring. Bring your torches.

 

On-On to next week. MP