Tinpickle & Rhum, Moorland Hotel, Haytor
Run No. 2039
HARE: Slip-on-Me
Who
wuz there: Slip-on-Me, Shitfaced, Man-Pig, Forrest-Stump, Perry,
Archangel, Beefy, Pisswell, Beeflicker, Able Semen, Wetfart, Runner
Bean, Smellie, Coldtits, Poacher, U-Bend, Big End, Well Hopped, Ned,
Psycho, Warmfront, Johnny, Red Rum, Melonpicker, Soapy, Justin, Dylan,
Wide Receiver, Cheesy Nipples, Cheesy Helmet (pub only I think) and
virgin Harry - Pisswell's son
Circle
It
was one day after the TVH3 40th anniversary away weekend. How many
would turn up? A very respectable 27 as it turned out. Slip-on-Me was
delighted with the turnout, especially as the weather forecast had been
on the damp side. Even more incredulous give the state of some Hashers
sore heads the previous morning.
Shitfaced
welcomed all into the Circle and immediately observed an unfamiliar
face....Harry. Harry is a virgin and also Pisswell's son. There is an
absence of flour in the Circle but the Hare scoots off and comes back
with some sawdust to anoint Harry's trainers with.
Smellie
has no announcements about Hare Raising. Shitfaced is just about to
hand the Circle over to the Hare when Man-Pig butts in.
"Can I have a volunteer for The Words for the anniversary weekend? Runs 2036, 2037 & 2038."
Forrest is volunteered as he was the ring leader behind Saturday's post disco shot-fest.
So over to the Hare.
"The
trail is laid in an assortment of materials, none of them flour -
mainly sawdust. It is not very long; Longs' 3 ,miles, Shorts' 2 miles
and Walkers' 1 mile", all much to the delight of the still fragile
competitors in the shots competition.
"Does anyone know why the bar is called the Tinpickle & Rhum?"
Nobody
knows except Wide Receiver. Apparently the "Tinpickle & Rhum" sign
over the entrance to the bar was found in the loft of the hotel and
the name stuck.
Finally:
"There is a pickle and rum stop at the quarry".
Trail
What could possibly go wrong on a 3 mile Hash?
We
were directed out of the lower entrance to the hotel car park for our
first challenge. Searching for a mark....any sort of mark. Wide
receiver went downhill towards Pinchaford. Poacher headed for the
granite railway track and everyone else congregated around the small
green with the telephone kiosk.
After a while Poacher alleged that he was "On" and we followed him across the road, onto the moor and along the granite tramway.
In
the distance to our left, we could see the distinct shape of
Slip-on-Me's Landrover climbing up towards the quarry.....at least we
knew where we were going to end up.
As
we moved along the tramway, we came to several spots which would have
been ideal places to put a check or a Long/Short split. Eventually, we
came to a fork in the tramway. This was a perfect spot for a split.
After a lot of searching, we found an "S" and an arrow pointing
downhill.
The
Longs carried on straight ahead only to find a cross..... perplexing
as the only other obvious route was an even shorter track that leads
directly up to the quarry. Poacher back-checked towards Smallacombe
Rocks. Wide Receiver also back-checked on a minor track that led up to
the quarry. Most Hashers were still running back from the cross. Where
was the Longs' trail?
We
had Hashers speed out all over the moor. Eventually, we gave up on
searching for the elusive Long and embarked on the Short. This was
basically due west down and then up to Holwell Tor.
We
then headed for Emsworthy Rocks before running out of marks again.
From on-high atop Haytor, Wide Receiver and Slip-on-Me were shouting
directions to befuddled and bamboozled Hashers.
We
all made our way across country and through a ravine that formed part
of an area of quarried stone at the end of one of the tramline's spurs.
I was following Big End and Well Hopped as we climbed out of the
narrow gulley and onto open ground between Haytor and Emsworthy Rocks.
It was only ten past eight but is was getting very dipsy indeed but,
fortunately, dry. Somehow, by the time that I skirted around to the
south side of Haytor, I'd lost sight of Big End and Well Hopped and,
indeed, every other Hasher.
With
the broad open lawn down to Haytor middle car park I commenced my run
home
but........something's missing - and it's not just other Hashers.
Half way down, the penny dropped - THE BEER STOP; well, pickles and rum
stop.
U-turn.
Back up towards Haytor and look for the broadest track to my right. I
found a narrow track and headed northeast. After only a couple of
hundred yards, I spied the distinct shape of a Landrover roof and a
solitary Hasher. It was Red Rum who was about to make her way back to
the hotel. She advised that everyone else was in the quarry.
"Hey
presto!", the drink stop was ahead of me including all of the other
Hashers except for Poacher and Archangel. And what a drink stop it was. A
flavoured rum, pickles comprising red cabbage, beetroot and green
chillies, homemade bread, cheese and biscuits and some sweet biscuits
with a whortleberry base.....delicious.
It
was dark now. This week most Hashers had remembered to bring torches.
The final leg was shared with Pisswell and Forrest Stump descending
down the vehicular track from the quarry to the road and then the final
300 yards back to the hotel.
Down-Downs
Forrest-Stump had drawn the short straw and was RA'ing.
The
drink stop had been excellent. The absence of marks had given us all a
a giggle rather than a headache and the tot of rum was just enough to
clear the vestiges of the weekend's hangover. Hence the first Down-Down
goes to the Hare for her excellent refreshment stop.
"Do we have any awards?"
Red
Rum has the Hashshit shirt and a simple story. Someone had mentioned
that they only come to the Hash for the beer and not the run. Amazingly,
this was not Only Here for the Beer. It was Big End. "Hold it in you
hand Mrs Murphy".
Next
we had the Wet Johnny doppelgänger up and I didn't know what
for....impersonating Wet-Johnny? No, it was apparently for forgetting to
pay his pound. Anyway, Johnny gets a beer and a note to, "Here's to
non-Wet-Johnny....." and also gets the Checking Chicken Hat.
The
final half pint of ale and the final award. Pisswell has the Jester's
hat and, despite fierce competition, Beefy gets it for being the most
drunk of the weekend. This included making a mess of Pisswell's van.
Beefy tried to palm this off on Smellie alleging that Smellie had been
very much looking forward to Beefy's trail the previous week. But this
was when it had been scheduled for Staverton Beer Festival. However,
last week's trail had to be relocated to Trendlebere down where Smellie
failed to make an appearance. She had, however, made it to the beer
festival on Sunday afternoon so the wandering half pint of ale found
itself back in Beefy's hands. A note for the "inebriated one" or some
such similar moniker.
Just
before we left, we thanked the pub for having us just before we risked
being thrown out. Beeflicker had found a pair of lady's trainers on
trail and Forrest was determined to auction them off in a bid to get
the weekend's collection for the "Pete's Dragons" mental health charity
up to £600. He banged his hand on the table so hard, to mark the end
of the auction, that he sent Warmfront's beer glass flying which
smashed on the stone floor!
.....and there concludeth the Hash.
Next week -NOTE change of venue
Next week's Hash is from the Church CP at Manaton OD Kestor Inn with Poacher haring. Bring your torches.
On-On to next week. MP
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