TVH3 The Words for 30th September 2024
The Royal British Legion, Newton Abbot
Run No. 2043
HARE: Beeflicker (for the second consecutive week)
Who
wuz there: Beeflicker, U-Bend, Man-Pig, Beefy, Peter (now Pocket
Rocket), Piltdown Man, Georgy Porgy, Smellie, Strap-On, Cheerio Beerio,
Coldtits, Satnav, Roger the Dodger, Well Hopped, Swinger, Psycho, Warm
Front, Slip-on-Me, Manopause, Erection, Melon Picker, Soapy, Smash,
Charlotte, Polyfella, Red Rum, Wide Receiver, Sarah & Andy (from the
Park Inn)
Circle
In
Shitfaced's absence, U-Bend assumed the role of acting GM. The only
announcements were regarding food; a show of hands for a choice of
traditional pasty, cheese & onion pasty or sausage roll? Orders are
placed with the bar staff and over to the Hare.
No
Beefuckery [sic] rollalong beer stop this week. Manopause drunk it dry
last week! No sweetie stop either but there is a Short of circa 4
miles and a Long of nearer 6 miles plus a Walkers' trail.
"On On across the cricket field car park".
Trail
The
first Long/Short split was almost at the start of the trail. The
Shorts crossed over Kingsteignton Road and commenced the climb up
towards Knowles Hill via Seymour Road.
Meanwhile,
the Longs were sent on a wild goose chase around the more
industrialised areas of Newton Abbot passing almost every car
dealership in town. As usual, the Topiary Twins were leading the way up
to Jetty Marsh roundabout, then right and down The Avenue, across the
zebra crossing and then left along Templers Road towards Tuckers
Maltings.
A
check had Beefy on trail over the iron footbridge spanning the Stover
canal and back up the canal footpath to Jetty Marsh
roundabout....again. Here Beeflicker was casually waiting for us at
another (suspiciously recent) check.
Beefy
and the Twins checked up Jetty Marsh Road whilst The Pig checked up
the steep steps that form the footpath up to the end of Rundle Road. A
check, "On-On" and the Pig checks to the right.....wrong.
Everyone
else is now ahead of the Pig and back on the Shorts' trail along
Seymour Road. We drop down and onto Exeter Road and right at the next
roundabout heading downhill towards the new Newton Abbot hospital; an
area that Psycho should know well. However, at the end of West Gold Way
we all get lost, checking this way and that but always seeming to find
crosses.
By
the time I arrive back at the roundabout, the only sign of life is
Coldtits. We eventually get back on trail at Orleigh Avenue but both the
Longs and the Shorts are well gone by this stage.
From
here on the marks are clear and we soon find ourselves climbing up the
steps at the end of Orleigh Avenue and onto the edge of a main road
without a pavement. It is the Exeter Road and we turn left and uphill.
At the crest of the hill, we cross onto the footpath that will take us
up to Highweek Church.
The
trail now veers left and across open ground near the mobile phone
mast. From the dark I get a fright. It is three teenage girls chatting,
unseen, on a park bench. "Keep going", they encourage me. I advise
that I am not last as there is one solitary Hasher, Coldtits, behind
me.
This
is familiar, if somewhat dark, territory. Down, through a short
stretch of woodland and out onto Pitt Hill Road where we would turn
right.....but not tonight. Instead it is up and into Highweek then left
and left again down Coombshead Road.
Part
way down Coombeshead Road there is a footpath that takes you down to
Ashburton Road and the second Long/Short split. The Shorts look like
they're going straight back to Newton Abbot via Barton Drive. The Longs
deviate along Chercombe Valley Road and then Ogwell Mill Road and the
track that takes us down to the River Lemon near Bradley Manor.
The
trail now follows the banks of the Lemon, first along the edde of a
field, then a stretch of woods, a zigzag through an industrial area and
eventually along the canal past Safeway and home....or not?
An
arrow has us bearing right and into the pedestrianised centre of
Newton Abbot for our last loop back to the Cricket Field car park.
Despite
the previous day's heavy rains and horrendous winds, tonight the
weather had been kind to us. Not even too wet underfoot. Another very
enjoyable run courtessy of Beeflicker. Just what the Doctor ordered.
Down-Downs
Forrest
has now embarked on his pantomime rehearsals (September!) so it was
back to Man-Pig RA'ing. We commenced by thanking the Royal British
Legion for having us and for providing the Down-Downs and for the cheap
beer - Gundog at a staggeringly low £3.10/pint.
"So, what did we think of the trail?"
The
usual banter but the concensus was that everyone enjoyed the mixture
of town and country and no-one got lost. Hence the first DD (water)
went to Beeflicker as Hare.
Next, "Who has any awards?"
It looked like a miliners' convention in front of me. Everyone and their dog had brought along a long lost hat.
However,
the first award was the Hashshit shirt. Beeflicker awarded this to
Peter (Runner Bean's brother) for fantastic eyesight. Apparently he
could see Plymouth City lights all the way from Newton Abbot. A note
for the Bionic Man. Peter was just about to leave the Circle when he
was nabbed by the collar.
"Isn't it about time that you were named?'
Some
suggestions from the floor about mates, no mates, condoms.....all very
confusing. Then his brother's profession as a rocket scientist was
mentioned. Almost inevitably Peter got named, "Pocket Rocket". He was
duly anointed whilst on his knees followed by, "Here's to Pocket
Rocket......"
So
who else has a hat and a story? Smellie has the Checking Chicken Hat.
This she awards to Beeflicker for sexism on the Hash. When a newbie
asks Beeflicker what the "L" stands for at the L/S split he responds,
"Ladies". Does he now? We have run out of water so it is a beer for
Beeflicker which was downed to the accompaniment of "Hold it in your
hand Mrs Murphy...."
Wide
Receiver has, somehow, got the Turd hat from Cheerio Beerio. This he
awards to Polyfella for arrivng late. He also suggests that we sing
S.H.I..Y. T.R.A.I.L. which would have been fine if the RA could spell! Still, he had. a go and everyone joined in.
There
is still one hat to be awarded. It is the Jester's Hat and it is
beginning to look like lost property as last week's recipient, Psycho,
has been on the phone for 20 minutes. We take a pause as there are two
50th run badges to award. Piltdown Man, with his insider knowledge,
correctly guesses that the milestone has been reached by Roger the
Dodger and Beeflicker. Up they both come to receive their badges and a
Down-Down each.
Psycho
eventually finishes her stenography class in transcribing all of
Encyclopedia Brittanica over the phone. She is just about to come up
with a story but it is too late - she is the story! She gets to keep the
hat and, additionally, gets a half pint of Gundog. There was a series
of TV adverts run by BT many years ago. These featured a yellow cartoon
bird called Busby. Hence, a note for "Busby" please.
Next week
Next week's Hash is from Cofton Park caravan site club house. Our Hares are Coldtits and Polyfella. It is a Winfield Memorial Hash run and Hovel Annie, Sparky and Gobbler will be present.
Winfield loved holidaying on cruise ships and the run will be a fancy dress run and the theme will, accordingly, be cruising. Dig-out that sun cream lotion and your life jackets!
On-On to next week, MP
No comments:
Post a Comment