TVH3 The Words for 7th October 2024
Cofton Holiday Park,
Winfield Memorial Run
Run No. 2044
Who
wuz there: Coldtits, Polyfella, Shitfaced, Man-Pig, Beefy, Beeflicker,
Pocket Rocket, Piltdown Man, Georgy Porgy, Smellie, Roger the Dodger,
Big End, Well Hopped, Melon Picker, Soapy, Palmolive, Smash, Charlotte
(now Mismash), Threesum, Pork Torpedo, Hornie & guest of honour -
Sparky
Circle
The
forecast was not conducive to a large turnout; a mere 90% chance of
rain at 7pm. Somehow, the Hash Gods had been kind to us and our run
turned out to be almost completely dry if a tad windy.
A
rather dashing Piltdown Man was on car parking duty and directed us
down to the overflow car park at Cofton chapel cemetery where we
circled up.
Tonight
was Winfield's memorial Hash and there was a topical theme -
cruising, a holiday favourite for Winfield and Hovel Annie. Hashers
were encouraged to come in "cruise themed" fancy dress either for the
run, the pub or both.
Pocket
Rocket came as a swimmer with no shirt - a trifle cold for that.
Beefy was a waiter with a tray with a bottle of wine and three wine
glasses glued to it. Smellie was a life guard and Man-Pig was all at
sea wearing an ABLJ.....maybe he'd been aboard the Costa Concordia?
Announcements were particularly brief;
Sparky,
Winfield's son-in-law would be joining us in the pub (in fact he got
there early enough to do the run, albeit backwards!).
Broken Man is now back from France but maybe back in hospital with recurring knee issues.
Shitfaced
reminded us that Cheerio Beerio has organised a pottery piss-up this
weekend in St Marychurch/Babbacombe - details are on the TVH3 Facebook
page.
Over
to the Hares, Polyfella and Coldtits. Polyfella explained that we
were running from east of Dawlish as this is the area where Winfield
tended to lay many of his trails. In fact, we would be duplicating
parts of previous Winfield trails on the way round this evening.
Polyfella promised the Walkers a casual one and a half miles. The
Longs would be five and three quarter miles and the Shorts would be
somewhere in-between.
"Pay attention now. Marks will always be on the right".
Trail
The
trail took us back into the holiday park and behind the main
reception building then up towards the static homes before an arrow
had us left and uphill through Cofton Copse. Beeflicker and Beefy were
leading followed by Pocket Rocket; behind them were Big End, Well
Hopped and Man-Pig which, I think, comprised all of the Longs with
Polyfella sweeping.
We
zigzagged our way through Cofton Copse before arriving at the
Walkers/Long & Short split at Cofton Hill. Fortunately we were at
the top of Cofton Hill and and the Longs and Shorts were directed
downhill towards Orchard Lane. An arrow had us turn right.
At
the bottom of the hill, I saw torchlight in the far distance. It was
Beefy and Beeflicker heading inland along Orchard Lane. At the
junction of Cofton Hill and Orchard Lane an arrow directed all to the
right and I followed the FRB's but only to be called back. I had
overrun an arrow but the FRB's were now out of earshot.
A
suspiciously new arrow had us go through a five bar gate and along
the south western edge of Easton Wood. The marks took us down and
across the edge of two fields until we arrived at Shutterton Lane. Big
End, Well Hopped and the Pig were the new FRB's and heading due east
towards Dawlish Warren.
At
the junction of Shutterton Lane with Dawlish Warren Road we arrived
at the Long/Short split. The Shorts headed left and back towards
Cockwood. The Longs were headed towards the Warren. We appeared to
have run out of marks until the Pig found one on the opposite side of
the road. A voice from behind. "Marks are always on the right". It was
the Hare. Suitably chastised, the Pig recrosseed to the western side of
Dawlish Warren Road.
Back
on the outward trail we crossed onto a footpath that took us on a
footbridge over the railway line and back towards the Warren. Past The
Boathouse pub and along the sea wall. It was jolly breezy and there was
a lot of foam as the onshore wind battered us. The sea was, all at
once, both beautiful and dangerous. Thank goodness for the sea wall.
Well
Hopped spied an arrow and we were now on duckboards and heading into
and along the edge of the Warren golf course. We passed through the
car park that was Point B for our 40th anniversary weekend at the end
of August. Back up Beach Road, under the railway, and we were back on
trail running past colourfully illuminated holiday accommodation.
We
followed the cycle path all the way back to Cockwood and the drinks
stop. Beefy and Beeflicker had caught up as we settled into a small
bucks fizz...or two?
The
drink stop took place outside the Ship Inn. This was appropriate as
the last time that we ran from here two years ago was when we first
heard the news of Winfield's hospitalisation and declining health. We
raised our shot glasses of bucks fizz to Winfield's memory. We were
protected from the wind here and all immediately felt tranquil and
calm.
Our
sweeping Hare arrived. We thought that everyone was accounted for.
Piltdown confirmed that it was exactly half a mile back to the cars and
off we trotted along Church Road morphing into Cofton Lane; a route
that Winfield would have known well.
Down-Downs
A
change of attire now has the pub populated with some very dapper
cruisers, Piltdown Man, Polyfella and Coldtits. There were some naval
personnel in the shape of a rather dodgy looking admiral,
Melonpicker
and a CPO submariner, Pork Torpedo. Clearly some of these maritime
holiday makers were on a budget cruise, and in unseaworthy ships. Soapy
and Roger the Dodger were wearing life jackets of varying vintages.
But, never fear, Smellie was close at hand and dressed as a life guard.
Palmolive was wearing lovely sequinned black evening trousers and
Shitfaced was in a penguin suit and ready for dining at the captain's
table. Did I say, "penguin?" Horny had come as a penguin. Perhaps her
cruise was to the south pole?
So, onto the Down-Downs.
As
per usual, "What did we think of the run"". I think the consensus was
that the the drink stop was excellent....bucks fizz. TVH3 is moving
upmarket.
The
pub had been particularly generous to us; six halves of real ale,
Rolling Thunder and Tribute; also 3 halves of water for the drivers.The
first of the Down-Downs has to go to the Hares for organising
Winfield's memorial run, laying the trail and providing the rather posh
drink stop. A note for the Hares as Coldtits has a beer whilst
Polyfella settles on a glass of water.
"Who has an award?"
Pocket
Rocket has the Hashshit shirt from last week. He is also somewhat
perplexed as to what a penguin is doing on a cruise liner.......a
stowaway perhaps? Has Hornie come as Pingu or one of Batman's arch
enemies? A note for Gotham's finest.
Polyfella has the Turd Hat but no story. The Pig assists with a story from the weekend.
"How far would you go for a pint of beer?"
The
Circle is both puzzled and quiet. The Pig then expands by mentioning
that the means of transport is a bicycle. It is bucketing down with
rain and the mystery cyclist had just done 14 miles across Dartmoor on
the Devon A2B the previous day. All eyes turn to Beefy who turned up
at Only Here for the Beer's birthday drinks in Abbotskerswell by
bicycle.
"How far did you ride for a pint of beer Beefy?"
"Thirty five miles".
Psycho is not with us this evening. Never mind. A note for the Psychopath (or should that be "cycle path?").
We
have a badge, and it is a big one, 600 runs. We play, "Guess the
number". Well Hopped guesses correctly but to whom does it belong? Our
Hare, Coldtits. Of course, we sing "Get a life......"
Charlotte
is a little more enthused this week than last. It is time to give her
a Hash handle. But what? She is called into the Circle to tell us a
little about herself.
"What do you like doing?"
"The hash"....great answer.
"What do you like at school?"
"Nothing".
I guess it was rather a silly question to ask.
Grandma's
Hash name is Smash so potato based names were murmurred including
Dolphin/Dauphinoise. Eventually the Hash settled on Miss Mash. Miss Mash
sensibly selects a half pint of water. Our Songmeister is called upon
for a ditty. I think it is Twenty Toes. The water disappears
amazingly quickly and is followed by Miss Mash's Hash anointment.
There
are so many Down-Downs left that we have to award another run badge.
This time it is a 300 run badge and the thoroughly deserving recipient
is Beefy. His second of the evening. Pork Torpedo finds another ditty
and we move onto the final beer.
This
has to go to guest of honour, Sparky. "Raise your glasses to the
memory of Winfield". Sparky takes the last water leaving a solitary
half pint.
There has to be a story, thus untold. Of course there is. We have an imposter in our midst.
"Smellie? Can you enlighten all gathered here this evening as to your competence as a swimmer?"
"I sink like a stone", answers Smellie.
"Stand up and show everyone what you are wearing".
Smellie
is wearing a T-shirt emblazoned with just two words in bold yellow
capitals...."LIFE GUARD". Accordingly, the final half goes to Smellie
for impersonating a life guard who cannot swim.
We
thank pub for the beer, six half pints of ale and 3 glasses of water
for the drivers, and wend our way home. A convivial evening of which
I'm sure Winfield would have approved.
Next week
Next
week's Hash is currently advertised as being from the Kestor Inn,
Manaton, with Poacher and Compo Haring. However, this may be subject to
last minute change so please keep up to date on the TVH3 Facebook page
and/or the Hash Diary which can be found at the swh3.info website.
On-On to next week. MP
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