'TIMBER!'

TVH3 The Words for 25th November 2024

The Lord Nelson

Run No. 2051

HARE: Man-Pig

 

Who wuz there: Man-Pig, Archangel, Shitfaced, Hotlips, Zoot, Only Here for the Beer, Beefy, Strap-On, Strap-Dancer, Pisswell, Pocket Rocket, Piltdown Man, Georgy Porgy, Smellie, Beeflicker, Ernie, Ted, Wetfart, Melon Picker, Soapy, Wet-Johnny, Judgemental, Red Rum, Smash, Miss Mash, Satnav, Threesum, Base Camp, Rise'n'Shine, Mateus Rose,, Triplejump, Wide Receiver, Bobbiball, and, for a second week in a row - Teapot plus the return of Bluebird!

 

Circle

Crikey! What a difference a week makes? I think I counted 26 or 27 in the Circle with more to arrive for a beer after the run. I think it was the prospect of chilli and crusty bread at £5/head that must have been the attraction.

 

Shitfaced was back from wherever he's been and welcomed the rather large pack to The Lord Nelson. The only announcements were:

 

1. Threesum would be in the pub afterwards with both raffle tickets and Christmas party tickets and

2. Wet-Johnny was in attendance to advise that next week's trail is from the King Bill, Totnes

So, with that, it was over to the stand-in Hare.

 

The Pig imparted that there were the usual three trails; Walkers', Shorts' and Longs' trails. I don't think that there was any mention of distances but, for the Longs, there was a warning! Two large trees have blown down on a narrow footpath in woodland. They have completely blocked the path but, with a bit of patience, you can get through (he hoped!).

 

Trail

The whole pack started off up Fluder Hill and then an arrow had them turn left and down Daccombe Mill Lane with the Walkers/Long & Shorts split at its end.

 

For the Walkers it was a fairly simple, all road, loop. They would head up Willowpark Lane and turn right at Kingskerswell Cross for the drop back into Kingskerswell via Fluder Hill.

 

The Longs and the Shorts carried straight on along the footpath that takes them up to the Bothy...and a check. Well, most carried straight on. Judgemental decided to do a bit of broken dam hopping en route. At the end of the footpath there is a check. I think Beefy checked towards Coffinswell but there was soon a call from the East. "On-On" towards the tiny hamlet of Daccombe.

 

At Daccombe we arrived at the solitary Long/Short split. The Shorts pushed on along Orestone Lane but only for Wide receiver to find a back-check. This was after Pocket Rocket had checked up the very steep Daccombe Hill to report that there were, allegedly, no marks. The FRB'ing Shorts ran back to the bottom of Daccombe Hill....marks after all! 

 

A short but painfully steep crawl up the 1 -in-4 hill brought the Shorts up to an arrow near its junction with the top of Fluder Hill. 

 

The Shorts now followed a trail that swapped from one side of the road to the other, predominantly staying in the veneer of woodland that straddles the upper reaches of Fluder Hill. Eventually they rejoined the Walkers "On-Home" trail at Kingskerswell Cross.

 

For the longs there was a sense of deja vu. For the three of them that had found last week's Long they were, once again, ascending Footland Lane. This week the Longs extended to seven hard, or should that be foolish, souls? This comprised Beefy, Beeflicker, Miss'ing (without her torch for the second week on the trot), Pisswell, Ernie, Ted, with The Pig sweeping.

 

Another back-check and we found ourselves ascending the same narrow, but steep, track up towards Barton Hill Road. Would we encounter fairy lights and another equine adventure like last week? No. Arrows lead us across Barton Hill Road and safely onto the verge down to Newton Hill. However, Ernie and Ted had to be called back for overrunning an arrow and merrily heading down Barton Hill Road.

 

All back on trail, the Longs embarked on a half mile needless loop down Newton Hill and then back up Barton Hill to its junction with Claddon Lane where the Pig was waiting. 

 

The trail now went down Claddon Lane and then right, through a kissing gate (no tongues now!) and into a large open field criss-crossed by tracks. Dots of floor were soon spotted and we eventually arrived at a check at the end of a track with a South West Water sign attached to its locked gate. Beefy had found two crosses but no third blobs of flour. Beeflicker was nowhere in sight so he was either well ahead of us or he was off trail. 

 

The Pig directed the pack up the SWW access track up to the Barton Hill reservoir and a view point. A couple of snaps later we continued past the reservoir and telemetry mast and along to an old iron kissing gate. There was no check but Ernie and Ted continued straight on while Pisswell looked at a blob of flour at the edge of a wooden kissing gate. Ernie and Ted were called back and we all commenced a descent into woodland. All was well until we ground to a halt.

"Tree!"

A big fecker too. And it had fallen along the line of the footpath blocking movement for at least 20 meters. We crunched and cracked our way through and over brittle branches from the dead tree. We crossed from one side of the trunk to the other and found ourselves back on the footpath......for another 20 metres. Another fallen tree and, just like the previous one, it had fallen along the length of the footpath. We repeated the clambering/climbing procedures rehearsed only a moment earlier and successfully traversed lignin obstacle number two. The footpath lay clearly before us now. Down some woodland steps and along the shiplap fencing to someone's garden before exiting onto Padacre Road.

There was no check but flour was soon spied as we ran down Padacre Road and then right and up Swedwell Road. No chance of any marks being left here from last week's Hash as we ran up to its summit and junction with Roccombe Close. The Pig adds a late, but helpful, arrow. The trail now takes us to the end of Roccombe Close where there is an almost unseen footpath that takes us back onto Barton Hill Road. An arrow has us cross onto the top of Fluder Hill where we rejoin the Shorts' trail. It is all downhill from here.

 

We arrive back at the On-Down at 9.02 - some 6.33 miles after we started. Just in time for a beer and some chilli.

 

Down-Downs

The temperature had dropped a little during the run so were glad to be back in a traditional pub with a nice warm open fire. We took over the lounge bar whilst four or five locals inhabited the public bar. Most Hashers were tucking into their chilli when we arrived. It all looked rather snug and convivial. This is one of Teapot's favourite On-Downs and it was great to have him back two weeks in a row. And, behold, another stranger or is it a returnee? The flightless one has come out of hibernation and is in conversation with another "two shows in two weeks" - Bobbiball. 

 

This congregation of time served Teign Valley Hashers now comprised Teapot, Wetfart, Bluebird, Bobbiball and Man-Pig. We were having a good old chinwag until Bobbiball spoilt things by stating the bloody obvious...."we must have a combined age of nearly 400!". Yes Bobbi. You are correct but this is absolutely not called for.

 

We then swiftly move onto the Down-Downs and commence by thanking the pub for:

- opening especially for us

- for putting on the scoff

- and for the Down Downs

Are there any awards from previous weeks?

Yes, but only one.

 

Base Camp has the Horned Hat. Base Camp has done the Walkers' trail. He lives 600 yards away but Threesum is working so she will be joining us later. Although it is only 600 yards, Threesum phones the pub and asks Base Camp to come and pick her up. This he duly does. He drops Threesum off at the pub and then looks for a parking space. There are none. By the time he finds a space he is parked closer to home that the pub. Accordingly, a lazy Threesum gets the first Down-Down accompanied by, "She's the meanest......"

 

Next we have a story from Wide Receiver. It is about a Hasher who knows that Daccombe Hill is very steep. This Hasher hopes that the trail continues along the comparatively flat Orestone Lane. Hence he calls, "No marks" which commits Wide Receiver to continuing along Orestone Lane....only to find a back-check. The second Down-Down goes to Pocket Rocket accompanied by, "The Grand Old Duke of York.....".

 

Shitfaced has the next story. Miss'ing is so named because she is always missing from the On-Down as she always elects to go home straight after the run. For some reason this week she is curious enough to, at least, stick her nose into the Snug.

"Oh. It's quite warm in here".

So in she comes. However, she is as good as her name as this is the second time in as many weeks that she has forgotten her torch. This is the first time in three years, that she is NOT missing from the On-Down after the trail. A thoroughly deserved Down-Down. "Hold it in your hand Mrs Murphy".......

There are two halves left so the Hare is called upon to dispatch one.

 

Pisswell has a story from last week which she thinks will earn Beefy the last half of ale. Somehow, in the process of giving Pocket Rocket a lift last week they'd left one of their cars in Bovey Tracey.......and forgotten all about it. They get up on Tuesday morning:

"Where's the car Beefy?"

"Outside"

"No.Look for yourself"

"Oops!"

Hence the last half goes to Beefy for forgetting where he parked the car. "A note for the horse rustler" (a reference to our wanderings around an equine estate late at night last week).

 

Next week

Next week's Hash is from the King William IV, Totnes. Our Hare is Wet-Johnny.

On-On to next week. MP