TVH3 The Words for 9th December 2024

The Smugglers' Inn, Dawlish

Run No. 2053 - "Poacher's 1000th lay!"

HARES: Poacher & U-Bend

Who wuz there: Poacher, U-Bend, Man-Pig, Shitfaced, Beefy, Pisswell, Pocket Rocket, Piltdown Man, Georgy Porgy, Smellie, Beeflicker, Wet-Johnny, Warmfront, Psycho, Red Rum, Only Here for the Beer, Melon Picker, Soapy, Roger-the-Dodger, Big End, Well Hopped, Ned, Polyfella, Coldtits, Ablesemen and Wetfart

Circle

It was quite an eventual weekend. Storm Darragh whipped up the wind for four days. We had the Christmas party which I think we can say was a complete success with some fantastic "At the Movies" fancy dresses - even if Man-Pig and Piltdown Man can't tell the difference between a horse and a dinosaur.

On the drive over, we noticed that some Hashers had started the trail early. Beefy and Polyfella had elected to run to Hash whilst Warmfront had decided to attend by bicycle.

Shitfaced welcomed intrepid Hashers and about the only notice was that raffle tickets would be on sale in the pub after the run.

Over to the Hares. U-Bend said that he had laid the trail but that Poacher had done a little bit. I think he meant that Poacher had done the Long. There was some muttering about the Long only being four miles and with that we were heading down the A379 towards Holcombe dip.

Trail

We hadn't gone far before we arrived at the first check at Windward Lane - an ideal opportunity to divert onto the Southwest Coastal Path...but no. Poacher called On-On down the dip as ace checker, Beefy, falls at the first hurdle and checks out the coastal path.

In almost no time at all we arrive at the second check at the junction of Holcombe Drive and Smugglers' Lane. In true Hash fashion we all grind to a halt waiting on someone to start the checking. Beefy checks down Smugglers' Lane as Poacher now points us across the A379 and down Fordens' Lane.

At the junction of Fordens' Lane and Holcombe Road another check. This time Polyfella checks up a track whereupon a friendly local advises him that it's a dead end with no public right of way.

Back to the check - now kicked out west and up Holcombe Road and then down Holcombe Road and back onto the A379. I think that this is where the Walkers did a U-turn and followed the main road back to the pub.

For the Longs and the Shorts it was continue towards Teignmouth and then grind to a halt whilst Hashers simply wandered about aimlessly. I think it was Wet-Johnny or perhaps Psycho who called it "On" and up New Road.

Another check and we are now on Higher Woodway Road until the FRB's came to a cross. Poacher was grinning behind us as a newly marked arrow had both the Longs and the Shorts on a loop around Higher Holcombe Road and back onto Higher Woodway Road.

At its highest point, we come to a check which is kicked out down a track that the Longs usually run up when we are in Teignmouth.

We catch up with Beeflicker and then Beefy, Beeflicker, Polyfella, Wet-Johnny and the Topiary Twins hightail it downhill to a junction at bisecting tracks. No check this time - just an arrow pointing directly ahead. Pisswell and the Pig are at the back of the Longs but the FRB's torchlight is just within view as we traverse the edge of two windswept fields with knarly oak trees forming their southern border.

We catch up with U-Bend and Coldtitsd sweeping the Shorts at the second Long/Short split. The marks had been excellent all trail so I was a little surprised to hear Coldtits ask U-Bend, "Are you sure you know where you are?"

The Shorts now have a relatively direct route back to the pub. For the Longs, we are back on Holcombe Road but now heading north and downhill towards Westbrooke Farm. It's been a while since TVH were last down here. At Westbrook Farm, the road changes its name to Oak Hill Cross Road and it is a steep uphill climb until we come across Poacher....again. This time he is directing us down the footpath along the edge of Oaklands Wood which we ran down on Soapy and Palmolive's Halloween trail. We finish by running down Bunting Close and South Downs Road and the "On Home" almost opposite the pub.

A brisk and well marked trail......and so it should be. You've been practicing for 999 trails!

Down-Downs

We start by thanking the pub for having us. Despite no food allegedly being on offer, some of the Walkers were back in time to grab some cheesy chips.

So what did we think of the trail and which hare deserves a Down-Down? I am reminded that this is Poacher's 1000th trail so he obviously gets the Down-Down....or does he? His co-Hare, U-Bend has just paid for the Down-Downs and he's got 4 halves of beer. No cider and Poacher only drinks cider so he has no qualms in instantly nominating U-Bend to have the ale on his behalf. This is dispatched pretty quickly.

U-Bend remains front and centre as he has the Hashshit shirt. He also has a large van and a large heart. This is amply demonstrated when a damsel in distress asks if she and her bicycle can have a lift back to Newton Abbot, He is only too pleased to accommodate her. Now, I had assumed that Warmfront was in Grizzly training mode having ridden to the pub from Chudleigh. Obviously not. Hence a note for "Lazy bones".

Pocket Rocket has the Jester's hat. Regettably, the Pig has had a minor trip for the second week in a row. Even more regrettably, Pocket Rocket has clocked it. "Hold it in your hand Mrs Murphy" and, in the blink of an eye, the ale disappears.

Shitfaced has the Horned hat and a story of misfortune. Storm Darragh was a tad windy over the weekend. There were quite a few trees down. Most regrettably, one of those trees fell through Only Here for the Beer's timber framed house. A note for the "Homeless one" followed by a plea for anyone with some spare wood glue.

Coldtits was then called out for being a doubting Thomas. Namely, asking the Hare if he knew where he was? A note for the doubting one.

All the beers have gone. There remains only a solitary half pint of water so are there any stories?

On the way to the Hash several Hash drivers and their passengers noticed two Hashers on a mission to save the planet and minimise their carbon footprint. How? By running to the Hash. One of them was recognisable by his gait, Polyfella. The other was more easily recognisable by having had his name printed on the back of his shirt in Scotchlite reflective print.....Beefy. So, whom to award the water? Given Beefy's new business enterprise; namely the manufacture of portable showers, it only seemed natural that he should get the water....if only to ensure that the shower doesn't have any leaks. "Here's to the shower manufacturer".

Finally, huge congratulations to Poacher on achieving 1000 lays across multiple Hashes over the past 20+ years. Quite a feat, or should I say feet!

Next week

Next week's Hash is from The Railway Inn, Churston. Our Hare is Pisswell and there is a fancy dress theme - the train of light.....wear something illuminating!

On-On to next week. MP