A WARM WELCOME FROM TVH3

Welcome to the Teign Valley Hash House Harriers of glorious South Devon. You are guaranteed a warm welcome and a great hash experience. We are the 'Party Hash' and we run from pubs all over Torbay, Dartmoor and the Teign Valley every Monday evening at 7.15pm. Our trails are marked with flour, chalk or sawdust and take in woodland, streams, byways, bridle paths and rolling countryside. We cater for all abilities, you needn't worry about keeping up, a leisurely walk with others or a good paced run if you're fit - you choose. The run duration is anything from 30 minutes to an hour and the distance is normally between 3-6 miles depending on whether you decide to take a short or long trail. Your first run is free, so come along and give it a go! After the run hashers enjoy a drink and food in the pub. On many occasions, the pub will lay on a 'Hash Menu', food specially for hashers.

WHAT TO EXPECT AT YOUR FIRST HASH

Starts soon after 7:15 pm each Monday.
The Grandmaster will gather the hash together in a circle and welcome Virgins & Visitors to TVH3 and inform the group of pertinent news or upcoming events.
Hares will announce details or the trail, number of long and short splits and regroups.

Down-Downs - sometimes at the circle but usually in the pub after the run. Hashers and harriets (lady hashers) have a half pint and under age hashers have a soft drink or water. If you are driving, just ask the RA for water.

A Down-Down is a means of punishing, rewarding, or merely recognizing an individual for any action or behavior. Once awarded, the downdown must be drunk without pause, otherwise the RA may take action!

Individuals may be recognized for outstanding service, or for their status as a visitor or newcomer.

Down-Downs also serve as punishment for misdemeanours real, imagined, or blatantly made up.

Such transgressions may include: wearing new shoes, pointing with a finger, or the use of real names rather than hash names.

Hash Names

The use of real names (nerd name) during an event is discouraged, and members are typically given a new "hash name," usually in deference to a particularly notorious escapade, a personality trait, or their physical appearance.

Members are named after attending the hash on several occasions or if something noteworthy occurs to prompt a naming.

Other hashers may share stories or observations about the individual, with the final name being chosen by general consensus from all suggestions put forward by the hash.

NEWCOMERS TO THE HASH
Completely new to hashing? Don't know what to expect? Worried, shy or nervous? You needn't be as all newcomers or virgins as they are known, will receive a warm welcome. When the hashers are called to make a circle - about 7:15 pm each Monday, the Grand Master will welcome all hashers and after various notices about forthcoming events etc are dealt with, he will ask if there are any visitors from other hashes or virgins present. You will be asked to come forward and be introduced to the hash. A tip to remember, don't wear new trainers as these are frowned upon by the RA (Religious Advisor) and will incur a sprinkling of flour over them. That's all there is to it and you can then step back and enjoy the run and the social get together after in the On Down (the pub). Whatever your pace, there are certain to be others who will keep you company along the trail. Walk, jog or run - it's up to you.
Hashing is all about making friends and having fun, so just turn up any Monday and have a go.

Tuesday, 4 February 2025

TVH3 The Words for 3rd February 2025

 

Newfoundland Road car park followed by The Cider Bar

Run No. 2061 
 
"Mud. Mud. Glorious Mud. Nothing quite like it....."
 
HARE: Beeflicker
 
Who wuz there: Beeflicker, Shitfaced, Man-Pig, Beefy, Pisswell, Smellie, Red Rum, Warmfront, Psycho, Melonpicker, Soapy, Palmolive, Ablesemen, Coldtits, Satnav, Slip-on-Me, Roger the Dodger, Big End, Well Hopped, Wet Johnny, Fukarewe, Twiggy, Mateus Rose, Wide Receiver, a lady returnee/visitor (apologies, I didn't' get your name) and one virgin in the form of Wide Receiver's son (again, my apologies for not getting your name)
 
Circle
Twenty-six. Not a bad number for early February. I bet the Harriets are thankful that Fanuary is over......I wonder who got to do the judging this year - not me
🙁
Shitfaced welcomed Wide Receiver's son as a Teign Valley virgin and mentioned that the Awards' Night voting forms would be available in the pub afterwards. Additionally, subscriptions are now due but, as Threesum is currently sunning herself abroad, we've all got about a fortnight before the enforcer comes banging on our doors.
 
Smellie needs Hares for all of April.
 
Over to the Hare. Beeflicker's first comment was that, "It is muddy". The farm track opposite Wolborough Church (the infamous field forever known as the 'Slurry with the Flour on top') mmediately sprang to mind. We were given very precise distances; Walkers' trail 1.6 miles, Shorts' trail 3.7 miles and the Longs' at 5.1 English country miles.
 
Trail
The Longs' consisted of the usual suspects: Beefy, Wet-Johnny, Warm Front, Psycho, Pisswell and Man-Pig. Wide Receiver may well have been on the Longs as well but he was not seen again until we were back in the car park. He could have been well out in front but the absence of kicked-out checks suggested that he was probably chaperoning his son around the Shorts' trail.
 
The trail took us out of the car park and then up the uncomfortably steep Powderham Road and to the first of three Long/Short splits. Unbeknown to us, the Longs would be on their own for the rest of the trail; destined never to meet up with the Walkers or the shorts until the On-Down.
 
The Shorts and Walkers would have carried on uphill to Courtenay Road. Meanwhile, Warmfront led the Longs steeply down Tudor Road and then right into Tudor Close. Psycho was in hot pursuit and was particularly easy to follow by virtue of her glowing LED ankle bracelets - a prize from the TVH3 Christmas draw. My guess is that we then ran through one of the many alleyways in this part of town and into Webster Close, another alleyway and into Webster Road. Up some steep steps (part of a Melonpicker/Soapy trail from a couple of years ago) up Bowden Hill, yet another alleyway and finally a path up to Courtenay Road - the latter definitely virgin territory..
 
Here the Hare was waiting for us to ensure that we rejoined the Walkers and the Longs on the track that links Courtenay Road with Hilltop Meadow; across South Road and then another stepped alleyway downhill and onto College Road. A right and a left and downhill Penshurst Road to Coach Road. I was certain that we'd now be making a B-line straight to Wolborough church - Pete Tong. 
 
An arrow had us down the broad track into the back of Decoy Park. The marks up to this point had been excellent but by now they were few and far between - something with big tractor wheels had been up and down this lane recently and obliterated the marks. However, the tracks looked larger than those made by regular tractor tyres; bigger even than the Ford County. They were almost certainly made by a large articulated JCB style earth mover - a rubber duck.
 
The Hare was with us and relaying the obfuscated marks. At the end of the track, the trail took us right and over the top of a huge hill and towards Abbotskerswell. Once out of the woods, we were faced with something new. Over a quarter of a mile of Heras fencing separating the public footpath from open fields - regrettably now destined to be yet another housing estate. 
 
Newton Abbot is rapidly becoming a huge housing estate. Coach Road is used as a rat run and it is pretty narrow. Cars always have to stop or reverse to get past each other. Frankly, access is terrible so how on earth have Devon Highways allowed planning permission to go through on this development?
"Where are the jobs coming from for the occupants of all these new houses?" I ask Beefy.
"No jobs. Not even locals. This will be social housing for those displaced from Manchester and Liverpool. Rents are cheaper down here."
 
So, the beautiful Devon Countryside is destined to become a dumping ground for homeless from the big cities. One thing is for sure, there's precious little work down here and that which is available is not partcularly well paid. I rather fear for the future if this trend continues.
 
Party Political Broadcast over we reach the summit. A solitary post marked "Footpath". It points to our right and along the crest of the hill. We exit onto Stoneman's Hill and encounter a check. The Topiary Twins are checking out towards Abbotskerswell whilst Beefy checks out towards the cemetery. He is on. At the crest of Stoneman's Hill there is an arrow. As predicted, it is pointing into a field that is usually very boggy and particularly rutted due to cattle. I am always perplexed as to the physics that enables the top of a hill to become such a quagmire.
 
Another public footpath is marked along the eastern flank of a steeply descending hill. In front of us, we can see the floodlit Wolborough church. Again, and as predicted, a very boggy patch just before we left the field. The track past the farm is usually pretty even but not tonight, Josephine. Again, evidence of rubber duck movement abounds.
 
At the church, we meet up with Pisswell who appears to have taken a little detour (SCB more like). We now descend down the footpath opposite to the junction between the Old Totnes Road and the A381. It will now be right and a short canter back to the car park. In truth, not as muddy as I had thought after heeding the Hare's warnings. Wong. Wong. Wong.
 
Feck me! An arrow.....and it is not pointing towards Newton Abbot. It is pointing towards Bakers Park. OK, just a little loop past Safeway I thought.
 
I thought wrong. Another arrow had us slip-sliding our way up one side of the River Lemon towards East Ogwell. Eventually, we reach the small footbridge and it is back down the other side of the Lemon towards Newton Abbot - but not towards Safeway. 
 
The Hare is with us to impart guidance but the marks are now fine. At this point, I get a little disorientated. I am pretty sure that we follow a footpath that leads onto Hunterswell Road. 
 
Eventually, we end up on Barton Drive. We cross Barton Drive and find ourselves climbing up the steps to Broadlands. 
 
Just below the microwave transmitter for mobile phones, we look back from our vertiginous viewpoint. Beeflicker points out whence we came to Psycho. In the distance, is the floodlit tower of Wolborough church.
 
"Have we just run past there?", enquires Psycho incredulously. Yes indeedee!
 
The final part of the trail (well, final for everyone except Beefy who has his own special "B" trail to follow right at the end) takes us along Brownhill's Road and St Anne's Court, up a short flight of steps and to the corner of Halcyon Road and Highweek Street. Almost straight across Highweek Street and through a very grand gate with large stone pillars to either side, a short stretch of footpath and onto Fisher Road and then we drop onto and across Halcyon Road. 
 
At Victoria Road, we come to the "B'. Man-Pig's name does not begin with a B so I follow the marks through the pedestrianised centre of Newton Abbot and then back to the car park.
 
Not so all of the other FRB's who have all decided to be Beefy for the night. They all elect to undertake the "B" trail...and it does have its benefits; albeit for the Harriets only. 
 
The "B" trail runs past Newton Abbot fire station. There is a training exercise (or, perhaps a real call out) at the fire station. There are a lot of hunky men in uniform. Pisswell shouts out, "Oh look. Firemen!" The firemen are a little embarrassed but, perhaps, not quite as embarrassed as Psycho and Warmfront who elect to get a bit of a push on and disassociate themselves with the swooning Pisswell.
Soon the FRB's find themselves back on trail. Well, not quite all. Beefy is off trail and running back towards them....on a trail dedicated solely to him. How could he have possibly got lost?
 
Down-Downs
The RA welcomes everyone to The Cider Bar for Run No. 2062 and, "Has anyone got a story?"
Warmfront has one. It is about Wet-Johnny wanting to kiss Beefy at the kissing gate. Wet-Johnny is driving so he nominates Big End to take the DD on his behalf. A note for the "notionally nominated homosexual". 
 
There is also another story about Wet-Johnny entertaining himself in his car....looking at his groin and pretending to be on Candycrush (a computer game - apparently) but Wet-Johnny avoids having to pass on another nomination.
 
Man-Pig has been given the Checking Chicken hat by Fukarewe as Fukarewe had to leave straight after the run. This is awarded to "Pisswell"..... well, not exactly. It is actually awarded to Psycho. Initially, it was going to be awarded for Psycho's recent move to India in order to escape the clutches of the Teign Valley groper. This was superseded by the misdemeanour of going to the loo just as the Down-Downs were about to be dished out. Whilst Pyscho is powdering her nose, another story emerges. 
 
Apparently, FRB'ing Psycho elected to mark the direction of the trail, not by kicking out a check, but by washing away the relevant part of the circumference in.......ahem.....urine! Hence a note for "Pisswell".....and didn't you go red when this story was recited!
 
Pisswell gets a half pint of lovely, raspberry cider for swooning. Is it the big red shiny fire engines that so enchanted Pisswell? Or perhaps it's the uniform - the shiny brass helmets or maybe the glint of a recently sharpened chopper? We never find out. Nonetheless, there is a note for the "enchanted chopper lover".
 
We are running out of stories so the final half goes, again, to Big End. This was for being an uncharitable mechanic. Just before the run, the Pig was explaining that he was using his wife's old car. It doesn't get used very much and develops a misfire due to a damp build up in the distributor. Big End's comment to Well Hopped; "Make sure we leave before Man-Pig". A note for the "unhelpful mechanic".
Finally, a big thank you to the pub for supplying the Down-Downs. In fact, we were the only customers that they had which is a shame. Poacher should have been here...so many ciders to choose from.
 
Well, not quite finally. I think our Hare deserves a big "Thankyou" also. This is for an excellent and surprisingly shiggy trail and, additionally, in lieu of having received a Down-Down. All very enjoyable and a pleasant change to wash it down with a cider.
 
Next week
Next week's Hash is from The Corner Flag, Devon FA, Court Road, Newton Abbot with Hare, Wet-Johnny. If the marks are still there form the previous week's Hash, Wet-Johnny can relay it - but anti-clockwise! No?
 
On-On to next week, M-P.

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WEEKLY SUBS PAYERS

It would be appreciated if those hashers that pay £1 a week when they attend rather than the £30 a year subscription could bring their one pound to the circle and pay Pisswell before the run. It is not much fun for her to chase hashers in the pub for payment. Many thanks for your cooperation. 🙂

MISMANAGEMENT UPDATED AGPU APRIL 4 2022

Grand Master Shitfaced mobile 07973 682201
Vice G M U Bend
On Sec Piltdown Man mobile 07773038756
R A Organiser Teapot
R A Manpig
R A Forrest Stump
R A Fallen Woman
Hash Cash Threesome
Hash Tax Pisswell
Trail Raiser Smellie
Haberdashery Zoot
Song Master Pork Torpedo
Social Sec Wet Johnny
Web /Web Master Bluebird

HASH SUBS 2023

This years membership, which is due now is £30 Alternatively, you can pay £1 per week when attending. Samantha Zimbler Hash cash Threesum. On line payments Account name: TEIGN VALLEY HASH House Harriers Sort Code: 55-70-01 Account number: 69068186 Reference: your hash name

TVH3 HABERDASHERY LINK

JESSE'S DD FROM THE TALLY HO!

EXPLANATION OF ARCHIVE TVH3 SITES

GREATHASHGOD: A dedicated site (presently mothballed and serves as archive content only) with all TVH3 content. Mostly photos from each Monday's hash but also some video clips. Named after our Life President Pottsie.

PRECONDEROTOUS: Containing the entire archive of TVH3 of some 1000 vid clips and over 5000 posts and photos. Started on November 11th 2007, the site is active with Bluebird's personal content but the archive content is fascinating and preserved, well worth a look.

Fukarwi

Fukarwi

REARENDER

REARENDER

TEAPOT

TEAPOT

SOAPY

SOAPY

MOULDY DICK

MOULDY DICK

MELONPICKER

MELONPICKER

FALLEN WOMAN

FALLEN WOMAN

DORIS

DORIS

BROKEN MAN

BROKEN MAN

ARCHANGEL

ARCHANGEL

ABLE SEMEN

ABLE SEMEN

Previously unreleased clip - Vicky's naming from the Sea Trout

FOR TVH3 HABERDASHERY CONTACT ZOOT

FOR TVH3 HABERDASHERY CONTACT ZOOT

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