A WARM WELCOME FROM TVH3

Welcome to the Teign Valley Hash House Harriers of glorious South Devon. You are guaranteed a warm welcome and a great hash experience. We are the 'Party Hash' and we run from pubs all over Torbay, Dartmoor and the Teign Valley every Monday evening at 7.15pm. Our trails are marked with flour, chalk or sawdust and take in woodland, streams, byways, bridle paths and rolling countryside. We cater for all abilities, you needn't worry about keeping up, a leisurely walk with others or a good paced run if you're fit - you choose. The run duration is anything from 30 minutes to an hour and the distance is normally between 3-6 miles depending on whether you decide to take a short or long trail. Your first run is free, so come along and give it a go! After the run hashers enjoy a drink and food in the pub. On many occasions, the pub will lay on a 'Hash Menu', food specially for hashers.

WHAT TO EXPECT AT YOUR FIRST HASH

Starts soon after 7:15 pm each Monday.
The Grandmaster will gather the hash together in a circle and welcome Virgins & Visitors to TVH3 and inform the group of pertinent news or upcoming events.
Hares will announce details or the trail, number of long and short splits and regroups.

Down-Downs - sometimes at the circle but usually in the pub after the run. Hashers and harriets (lady hashers) have a half pint and under age hashers have a soft drink or water. If you are driving, just ask the RA for water.

A Down-Down is a means of punishing, rewarding, or merely recognizing an individual for any action or behaviour. Once awarded, the downdown must be drunk without pause, otherwise the RA may take action!

Individuals may be recognized for outstanding service, or for their status as a visitor or newcomer.

Down-Downs also serve as punishment for misdemeanours real, imagined, or blatantly made up.

Such transgressions may include: wearing new shoes, pointing with a finger, or the use of real names rather than hash names.

Hash Names

The use of real names (nerd name) during an event is discouraged, and members are typically given a new "hash name," usually in deference to a particularly notorious escapade, a personality trait, or their physical appearance.

Members are named after attending the hash on several occasions or if something noteworthy occurs to prompt a naming.

Other hashers may share stories or observations about the individual, with the final name being chosen by general consensus from all suggestions put forward by the hash.

NEWCOMERS TO THE HASH
Completely new to hashing? Don't know what to expect? Worried, shy or nervous? You needn't be as all newcomers or virgins as they are known, will receive a warm welcome. When the hashers are called to make a circle - about 7:15 pm each Monday, the Grand Master will welcome all hashers and after various notices about forthcoming events etc are dealt with, he will ask if there are any visitors from other hashes or virgins present. You will be asked to come forward and be introduced to the hash. A tip to remember, don't wear new trainers as these are frowned upon by the RA (Religious Advisor) and will incur a sprinkling of flour over them. That's all there is to it and you can then step back and enjoy the run and the social get together after in the On Down (the pub). Whatever your pace, there are certain to be others who will keep you company along the trail. Walk, jog or run - it's up to you.
Hashing is all about making friends and having fun, so just turn up any Monday and have a go.

Saturday, 12 April 2025

TVH3 The Words for 7 April 2025

 

The Park inn, Kingskerswell

Run No. 2070
AGPU & Shitfaced's swan song
HARE: Beeflicker
 
Who wuz there: Beeflicker, Man-Pig, Forrest-Stump, Bluebird, Shitfaced, Zoot, Hotlips, Threesum, Base Camp, Poacher, Piltdown Man, Georgy Porgy, Coldtits, Smellie, Roger the Dodger, Well Hopped, Big End, Fukarewe, Ernie, Sarah, Red Rum, Smash, Miss Mash, Wet-Johnny, Only Here for the Beer, Two Little Schitz, Slip-on-Me, Wetfart, Pocket Rocket, Psycho, Warmfront, Archangel, Ablesemen, Bobbiball, Park'n'Ride, T-Humper & friend and visiting Harriet - Minxie
 
Circle
Almost no announcements. Shitfaced welcomed our sole visitor - Minxie. There were also returnees in the form of T-Humper and friend. In a nutshell, Shitfaced advised that scoff was being laid on for the evening's AGPU. It is free for annual members, weekly payers are expected to contribute £2.
Smellie, amazingly, has Hares upto July. Excellent.
 
So, over to the Hare - Beeflicker. The trail would be relatively short and restricted to the village so that we could push on with the AGPU. Beeflicker explained that there were three trails; a Walkers' trail of about 1 mile and a Shorts' trail of about 3 miles.....errrrm....that's 2 trails! Ah yes. "For the Longs do the Shorts' followed by the Walkers'. It should be about 5 miles!" Errrm......another arithmetic anomaly....but who cares?
 
Trail
Now, I have lived in Kingskerswell for 29 years. I would have thought that I was pretty familiar with it by now. Clearly not. Our Hare had me on three pieces of road or footpath that I never knew existed. The trail was a tight-knit affair with marks always on the LEFT. This meant that the trail could go down one side of a road and then back up the other side....ingenious. 
 
The cunningly laid convolutions had the Longs running up towards the primary school whilst the Walkers were running down the other side of the road looking for all the world like unlikely FRB's.
It might have been a short run but a lot of work must have gone into planning it so a big "Thankyou & well done" to Beeflicker". You kept us on out toes and virgin territory to boot!
 
Down-Downs
Sarah has two awards (one will be saved for next week). She awards the jesters hat to OHFTB for confusing his Thirsty Blonde with a Naked Lady. A note for the Ginger-Minger.
 
Bluebird has two stories. The first is about Poacher costing him an arm and a leg as a half pint of cider grew to a pint and a half of cider and significant damage to his wallet. Story number two is about moggies. Bluebird relates to Able a sombre tale of how your cats will eat you if you die at home and there is no food for the house tigers.. "That's OK", says Ablesemen. "I don't have a pussy!" No? Well...
And with that, Able is voted in as the recipient for the award which turns out to be the long-lost Hashit shirt, previously exiled within the dungeon realm of the Flightless One. Sigh..
 
Ernie also has an award...... and a story. Ernie recounts that early on in the trail two Harriets are admiring someone's nicely manicured garden. In particular they were interested in a bush. They were stroking it, kissing it, fingering....all sorts. They were definitely intent on having it away. It will come as no surprise that the responsible party were the aptly named Topiary Twins. Warmfront is not driving so she gets the half pint of ale accompanied by "Hold it in your hand Mrs Murphy".
 
Forrest is RA'ing and there is a 50th run badge to award. For some unknown reason he thinks it is Shitfafced's. It is not. But, having Shitfaced front & centre provides the ideal opportunity to give him his retirement present. Beefy and Pisswell (regrettably absent this evening) have provided a fitting present and it is gift wrapped. Shitfaced is invited to unwrap it. This he dutifully does only to be presented with a re-run of The Awards' Night from a fortnight ago. 
 
The present is embedded in flour. Eventually, he extracts a flour covered bubble-wrap bag. Inside the bag is a clock. It might even have an inscription, "For 7 Years of Loyal Service to TVH3", or it might not? What it does have is an unfeasibly short electric lead. Oh, how we all laughed! We appear to have run out of Down-Downs so Forrest gives Shitfaced his pint to finish off.
 
Then there is the case of the 50th run badge. To whom will it go? Forrest has already forgotten the recipient. A gentle reminder and Psycho is called up to receive her first TVH3 badge. "She's the meanest she sucks......" etc.
 
In the confusion, we forget to thank the pub for the scoff and the Down-Downs. Our apologies and a big "Thankyou" to Park'n'Ride and Karen for looking after TVH3 so well over many a year.
So, eventually, we move onto the AGPU.
 
AGPU
I'm afraid that I missed he first part of the AGPU as I was at the bar getting Forrest a replacement pint for the impromptu Down-Down awarded to Shitfaced. I am assuming that Threesum went through the accounts and everyone agreed with them (they did).
 
I rejoined the AGPU as Piltdown Man was running of a list of statistics covering the past 12 months. Amongst other things the list included those who had attended most frequently. Beeflicker was at the top with 49 appearances. Then there were the number of trails laid by various individuals. Staggeringly, Shitfaced was near the top but what about his "friends"? Conveniently omitted. I can't recall top Hare....Poacher or Beeflicker I think. 
 
The stats were informative but I can't help but think that this is the sort of information that should really be posted on the Hash FB page just prior to voting for the Awards. In fact, if I cast my mind back a long time ago, pre-internet, I am sure that these stats were printed out on A4 and handed out with the voting forms (yes, indeed they were by Teapot). 
 
Additionally, we had a table of all who had received Down-Downs throughout the year, and how many. Perhaps a thought for the current mismanagement to conjure with?
 
Shitfaced then ran down the list of existing committee members and asked them if they'd be prepared to stand again. The current incumbents were happy enough to remain in position for another 12 months with the following exceptions. Strap-On (absent) really didn't want to be an RA. Additionally, Shitfaced had already announced that he would have to stand down from being GM due to forthcoming work commitments. So, who could be persuaded to fill these shoes?
 
Pisswell had indicated that she would like to have a go and was, in absentia, duly sworn in.
 
And the biggie. Who was going to take over as GM? Shitfaced announced that Man-Pig had thrown his hat into the ring. Man-Pig swiftly corrected this and clarified that Shitfaced had suggested that I might want to do it. Bluebird then leapt to the fore and made quite an impassioned speech advocating the Pig's undoubted prowess in such matters. It was as flattering as it was embarrassing and I thank the Bird for his kind words. However, the Hash is so much more than any single person so the Pig simply stated that he was quite happy to continue as RA but he would not stand for GM in addition to being an RA. It was an "either, or" scenario as far a the Pig was concerned.
 
Banter and chit-chat followed and somehow, in the milieu, Pocket-Rocket emerged as GM.......fantastic.
There had also been a hint that U Bend might not have been prepared to stand in as Vice GM and Forrest put himself forward for the post and was approved.
 
But the night was far from over. The outgoing GM was about to have his swan song - literally. By some devious and devilish magic T-Humper had got her phone to speak with the PA system. What followed was both unexpected and, in parts, bizarre. Shitfaced bowed out by thanking some of the behind the scenes committee members for their assistance. In particular, Threesum who received a bouquet of flowers. Next, Shitfaced went on to explain that he'd had quite a lot of personal issues during his time as GM. There were many times when he simply didn't want to make the effort to turn up on a Monday evening. But turn up he did - and he was always grateful that he had. 
 
For many, the Hash is not only a relaxing way in which to chill out, it is downright cathartic. In particular, Shitfaced wanted to thank Zoot who was also blessed with a bouquet.
 
And then to the grand finale. Some giggled; some laughed; others were open-mouthed and wide-eyed as Shitfaced bowed out by singing (karaoke style) a Hash version of "I did it my way"............ you certainly did!
 
Next week
Next week's Hash is from the Kestor inn, Manaton. Our Hare is, once again, Poacher.
 
On-On to next week. MP

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MISMANAGEMENT UPDATED AGPU 7TH APRIL 2025

Grand Master Pocket Rocket
Vice G M Forrest Stump
On Sec Piltdown Man mobile 07773038756
R A Manpig
R A Forrest Stump
RA Pisswell
Hash Cash Threesome
Hash Tax Pisswell
Social sec. Cheerio Beerio
Trail Raiser Smellie
Haberdashery Zoot
Song Master Pork Torpedo
Web /Web Master Bluebird

TVH3 HABERDASHERY LINK

JESSE'S DD FROM THE TALLY HO!

EXPLANATION OF ARCHIVE TVH3 SITES

GREATHASHGOD: A dedicated site (presently mothballed and serves as archive content only) with all TVH3 content. Mostly photos from each Monday's hash but also some video clips. Named after our Life President Pottsie.

PRECONDEROTOUS: Containing the entire archive of TVH3 of some 1000 vid clips and over 5000 posts and photos. Started on November 11th 2007, the site is active with Bluebird's personal content but the archive content is fascinating and preserved, well worth a look.

Fukarwi

Fukarwi

REARENDER

REARENDER

TEAPOT

TEAPOT

SOAPY

SOAPY

MOULDY DICK

MOULDY DICK

MELONPICKER

MELONPICKER

FALLEN WOMAN

FALLEN WOMAN

DORIS

DORIS

BROKEN MAN

BROKEN MAN

ARCHANGEL

ARCHANGEL

ABLE SEMEN

ABLE SEMEN

Previously unreleased clip - Vicky's naming from the Sea Trout

FOR TVH3 HABERDASHERY CONTACT ZOOT

FOR TVH3 HABERDASHERY CONTACT ZOOT

SC