The Lord Nelson, Kingskerswell
Run No. 2109
HARE: Man-Pig
Who
wuz there: Man-Pig, Pocket Rocket, Shitfaced, Beefy, Pisswell, Piltdown
Man, Gorgy Porgy, Coldtits, Beeflicker, U-Bend, Melonpicker, Miss'Ing,
Roger the Dodger, Big End, Well Hopped, Strap-On, Strap-Dancer and
returnee - Runner Bean
THE LONGS VIEW by Beefy
At
a normal (I know) Hash, Beefy is the last On Trail owing to taking a
video of the departing Hashers. This was no different. The fact that all
were funnelled into the narrow, steeply descending path which leads
from the Nelson to Torquay Road meant that the front runners were well
away as recording continued of the rear guard comprising our GM and
former GM as they discussed their plan to "run the Longs, as usual".
Indubitably.
Beefy got going and, having reached Jury's Corner, found the Longs
ascending Coffinswell Lane and caught up with Pisswell. We found Miss
Inn at our first check and heard "On" called, by Bee Flicker, farther up
the road.
We
left the bright lights of 'Kerswell and crossed the boundary into the
sloe blackness of Coffinswell via the ancient, unmade route. Not for
long, however, as Bee Flicker came into view calling "Back check!" Being
at the back of the pack, Beefy was first to the Trail which branches
left and climbs and then drops into Coffinswell (Haccombe, Daccombe,
Coffinswell. All begins with "A". [Ask a real local what this means.])
The
descent, even when dry, keeps your concentration up and, at the end, we
wet our shoes before emerging on tarmac at a junction. Beefy wandered
around looking for marks and was soon joined by returnee Runner Bean who
found a mark On Left.
Bee
Flicker caught up and we ran past Greenaway Lane and onto a Check at
the junction of Under Way and Milber Lane. Bee Flicker went left and
Runner Bean ran right. Beefy stood listening for the "On" Call when a
pair of chattering Harriets, in the form of Miss Inn and Pisswell
approached. As luck would have it, a barely perceptible call was heard,
the check was kicked out and On we went up Milber Lane. We bore left,
continuing on Milber Lane and On past Paraprick's house. [The last time I
saw PP he said he would lay a Trail for us... come on, PP, dust off
those running shoes and have a run with us: you don't have to lay a
Trail, it would just be good to see you among us again!]
An
arrow shot us left into a narrow path which exited onto the zigzag road
between Zig Zag Quarry and Royal Aller Vale Quarry and then exits onto
Aller Brake Road but, no.. a cross. Back up the hill to a path on the
right for a run through the woods parallel to the road until it drops to
the road and a change in direction back towards Torquay. We take a
right and right again into Aller Road to run past some very new-looking
houses on immaculate tarmac: perhaps this counts as Virgin Territory?
Continuing
left on Aller Road, over the railway, we approach the confection of
roundabouts at Aller Cross. The Pig had instructed: 'The more "road
closed" signs you pass, the more On Trail you are.' or something like
that. Beefy found Runner Bean here and we pressed on along Old Newton
Road, onto Church End Road and Yon Street, then past KFC (Kingskerswell
Former Church), over the A380 and On to Check. Runner Bean hit Chuchway
Lane while Beefy went straight on up Huxnor Road. Miss Inn appeared
around this time but, no Bee Flicker.
Back
to the check and it was still intact so, check Eginswell Lane. No marks
so, back to the check. Bee Flicker turned up and found marks along
Edginswell Lane on the Right so, "On" was called and Beefy went back to
kick out.
The
Trail continued along Edginswell Lane. Beefy didn't see the check at
Saturday's Lane but, Runner Bean was checking. Bee Flicker had seen a
Back Check and met Beefy at Hamelin Way. Runner Bean joined us, fresh
from not finding the Trail. Together, we took the path which runs
parallel with, then under, Hamelin Way, over the Torquay branch line and
back to Torquay Road.
At
the foot crossing, near Kerswell Arch, Bee Flicker carried on back to
his car. Runner Bean and I met Coldtits who swore blind we were going
the wrong way. Well, we crossed the road to enter Claremont Avenue and
join Southey Lane. A short run to Fore Street and arrival back at the
Nelly gave a recorded milage of 6.9. The Hare was correct when he said
the Longs are a shade under seven miles. Success all round. A great
Trail, no rain and, Runner Bean and Beefy concurred that the temperature
was balmy compared to Scotland and Widecombe. A jog back to the car
made it a (Magnificent) "SEVEN!"
Thanks
go to Man Pig, again, for a Trail worth much more than "SEVEN!" by any
reckoning and a very good time at the On-down, too.
Down-Downs (courtesy of MP)
We
start by thanking the pub for having us, for opening for us, for doing
the casserole for us and for providing the Down-Downs....a good way in
which to end the year.
There
is one award, close but not present. It is in Beeflicker's car so he is
despatched to get it. In his absence we proceeded with stories of
misdemeanours.
First
up was Beefy. He has a story about being unable to hear Runner Bean
calling "On-On" or "On Back". This is because he could not be heard
above the continued rabbitting between Miss'Ing and Pisswell. Unable to
reproduce Chas & Dave's "yak. Yak. Rabbit. Rabbit", Miss'Ing was
chosen to receive the DD accompanied by, "Here's to Rabbit. Rabbit".
Beeflicker
returns with the Guinness stove pipe hat. He has a story about one of
our experienced FRB's getting lost and nearly doing the trail a second
time. This goes to Pisswell. "You're stupid. You're stupid. You're so
damn dumb. If your Mother hadn't been there you'd be a lump of cum".
The
tables are turned and there is a note for the chivalrous one....if
anyone could pronounce it, which they couldn't. This went to Beeflicker
for helping an elderly person across the main road....or was it he that
was helped across the road? It matters not. No one can pronounce
chivalrous without stuttering so it is a note for, "Age Concern".
Coldtits gets a DD for being late....I think.
Our returnee, Runner Bean, gets a DD for, well, returning, albeit briefly.
The
final two halves go to a pair of Hashers who, somehowm found themselves
off trail and in The park Inn for a swifter on the way round the trail.
Inevitably, it is the usual suspects, Shitfaced and Pocket Rocket. A
note for "The led and the misled".
Next week
Next week's Hash is from the Bell Inn, Bovey Tracey. Our Hare is Beeflicker. No food but we are welcome to bring our own.
On-On to next week and a Happy New Year from Beefy and Manpig
No comments:
Post a Comment