Pirating at Stoke Gabriel
Hash no 2142 on Monday August 17th.
Who woz there?
Strap on , Strap dancer, Pyscho, SMEllie, Coldtits, Manpig, Forrest, Archangel, Well hopped, and Simba, Roger the Dodger, Swinger and son, Devon ( needs a better name) and 2 other German friends, Beefy, Pisswell, Wetfart, Fuckarwe, SMEllie, Beeflicker, Jo, Polyfeller, Wetfart, Triplejump, Deep Semen.
The circle:
Forrest officiated as GM and Pisswell collected the booty. Where was ee, Jim lad?
SMEllie asked for hares
Pisswell volunteered to do the words.
The circle:
The hare, Pisswell asked for everyone to repeat Aaars, so there was a lot of aaars as only us pirates can do. No swimming as there was sharks in the water but wading was allowed, if caught be the tide.
She hare split hashers into three groups and told them to stay together as us didn’t want to sink the ship. Don’t know if she said there was a ship? There was no checks, apart from one little one, walkers 1 1/2, shorts 3 and longs 5miles maybe, and if unsure return to the CP regroup circle. What er shoulda zaid was another matter!
So, we were off as the ship sailed into the arbour!
Wellerman
Song by Nathan Evans and Santiano ‧ 2021
There once was a hash that put to sea
The name of the hash was the Teign valley Stoke-Gabriel, they learned the ropes
So Row, my hasher boys, row (huh)
All hope the Weatherman’s right
Don’t sink our boat, with rain all night
One day, when the anchor we weigh
We'll drink some rum and go
Walkers didn’t have to run
They sailed the ship to Duncannon
The Captain called all hands on deck
He’d seen the land ahoy! Huh
Here’s where the piratings done
Longs take the vessel and steal the rum
One day, when the plunderings done
They’ll take the ship and go
Da-da, da-da-da-da
Da-da-da-da, da-da-da-da,
Da-da-da-fa-da-da, da-da-da-da-da-da
The walkers they went steep up hill
Their sea legs meant they all felt ill
The others sailing, soon felt sick
But tide waits for no man. (huh)
Soon may the drinking get done
With tank-ards that are full of rum
One day, when they go off their legs
It’ll help if they’ve just one!
No run was cut, no time was freed
The captain's mind was not on speed
He gave them rum, that’s all they need
and took the shorts next trip
Soon may the mermaids come
You see them when you’re drunk on rum!
One day, when your eye patch’s gone
You’ll see they’re fake and go
Da-da, da-da-da-da
Da-da-da-da, da-da-da-da,
Da-da-da-fa-da-da, da-da-da-da-da-da
A’bout half the men or even more
Ran cross the weir, Mill pond, be-fore
Our boat was lost, t’was all folk lore
And so our ship went down.
Soon may we all be done
We lost the booty and all the rum
Rog-er, he walked the plank
Jolly but overboard!
As far as I've heard, they’re all alive
Captain’s back to his fisherman’s wife
Captain Birds Eye,floundered by foes
Now sells fish fingers, as well as toes!
Soon may the other longs come
Who’ve beaten the tide, too late for some
One day, when the head count is done
Know dead men tell no lies!
Soon may the down downs get done
The Castle inn is where we’ll come
One day, when the parrot is dead
We’ll be glad that ship has sailed.
The out takes:
The walkers was perfect. (SMEllie and Manpig identifying for a short while as walkers, thank you)
The longs……..well I shoulda zaid that after the long ha ha, they had to loop round the millpond like the shorts. Me plans was pretty ship! Wrecked by misunderstanding! But eventually they all made it to Duncannon and nearly sunk the boat, there was so many of them! What appened to the groups?
Us all sung sea shanty’s, necked the grog, plundered the pieces of eight and zaid aaaarrr. Aaarrr!
Back again at Stoke Gabriel, the longs were sent on a sea mission to find the shorts. Coldtits had been seen waving. (was it Coldtits?) but where were the rest? Did the hare say Aaarrr so much that they didn’t hear any others instructions? Did the hare even say there was a ship?
Us sailed back to Duncannon like a ghost ship with no one on board but the 3 crew. But then we heard someone shouting help! And then was Coldtits! So us launched the lifeboats and made a daring sea rescue in the dimsky light. And the rest were presumed dead.
The down downs
After squeezing out our wet clothes us returned to the welcoming lights of the Castle Inn for fish finger baps, caught by Captain Birdseye imself.
So what shall we do with the drunken zailors? Down downs were given to :
1 Triple jump for kindness to the ships cat, I think. (Well I heard something about stroking her pussy)
2. SMEllie was next for taking a fancy to Forrest and his sexy new leg!
3. Then Swingers two German friends got a down down probably for not even getting in the ship! (The same as Swinger and the children, one legged pirates and the Archangel Gabriel) Health and safety gone crazy!
4. Jo for winning the most ansom pirate and I must say she even surpassed Forrest with his wooden leg. (getting a bit same old Forrest, try something new)
5. There were no mermaids, confirming that mermaids can’t run!
Big thanks to David and Jill for the plundering of their ship.
Thank you pirates for your great aaaarrs, reminding me of “avast behind” for some reason! Maybe next time we’ll get you all a tattoo so you can follow each others aaaarrrrs!
And so, apologies for the confusion. 70% success was a good start at pirating. As to all those people who didn’t get on the ship and were left to flounder, all bodies were finally recovered and hopefully will be available for viewing next week at the Monks Retreat, Broadhempston with Fuckarwe officiating.
On on to next week.Pisswell x
No comments:
Post a Comment