Sunday 7 August 2022
ONLY HERE FOR THE BEER GOING TOO FAST & A WATCH THAT DID NOT TELL THE TIME
Run #1928 Monday 1st August from the King George IV at Totnes
HARES: Wet Johnny, Erection & Manopause
Who
wuz there: Wet Johnny, Manopause, Erection, U-Bend, Man-Pig, Arkangel,
Cheerio Beerio, Only Here for the Beer, Mark (virgin), Mateus Rose,
Twiggy, Rise 'n' Shine, Piltdown Man, Georgy Porgy, Smellie (pub
only?), Coldtits, Slip-on-Me, Strap-On, Strap-Dancer, Ernie, Ablesemen,
Wetfart, Bluebird, Melon-Picker, Soapy, Big End, Well Hopped, Ned,
Beefy, Zen Emptiness.
THE CIRCLE
In the absence of Shitfaced, U-Bend took on the role of GM and welcomed all into the Circle.
There
was only one announcement. Ablesemen informed the Hash that Satnav had
had a fall and, I think, broken her wrist. We all wish her a swift
recovery.
A
virgin was in our midst - Mark who is Mateus Rose's husband. He was
indoctrinated into the Circle in the time honoured fashion with a
liberal dowsing of flour.The Hare, Wet- Johnny, gave brief detail about
the trail. A Walkers', Shorts' and Longs' trail had been laid. The
Shorts was about 3 miles. The Longs were not more than 6 miles; the
Shorts were somewhere between the two.
THE TRAIL
The
Bird led the pack down Fore Street before we turned right down a
narrow, but pretty, ginnel called Bank Street. An arrow took us right
and to our first check. The Bird correctly checked out in the direction
of St Katherine's Way and the Walkers' / Long-Short split. The Walkers
turned left down St Katherine's way whilst the Shorts and the Longs
turned right, up St Katherine's Way, and then left into the Carrions.
Steps took us up to a grass pathway and a check. Man-Pig checked
downhill - BONG! wrong.
The
Bird continued up to Maudlin Road and an arrow had us heading up
Maudlin Street towards Leechwell Street. At the junction with
Kingsbridge Hill was another check. Big End checked downhill. The Bird
uphill with Beefy and Man-Pig in pursuit. And so it proved to be. A
slog up Kingbridge Hill to its junction with the Western Bypass. The
dots continued uphill to a check at the end of Fishchowters Lane. Beefy
continued up the Western Bypass. The Pig checked down Fishchowters
Lane....1 dot, 2 dots, 3 dots. ON ON. We were now on part of a
Wet-Johnny trail that he'd set for the Longs before Christmas.
Another
check had the Pig carry straight on only to find a cross.The trail
remained on Fishcowters Lane down to where it meets Maudlin Road. An
arrow took us right and to a check at the bottom of Totnes Down Hill.
Beefy checked up the hill. Bluebird lingered at the check. Man-Pig
continued down Moat Hill and found an arrow. We were now on the John
Musgrove Heritage trail heading towards Sharpham Barton and re-running
part of a previous Bluebird trail from about 18 months ago.
Soon
we begin to catch the Walkers. First Wetfart on his own. Then Only
Here for the Beer, our Virgin Mark, Twiggy, Rise 'n' Shine, and Mateus
Rose. Quite a long way in front of them was Strap-Dancer doing really
well. At the Walkers split, we caught a glimpse of Georgy Porgy and
Piltdown Man heading downhill across a steep meadow towards the Dart.
The beautiful views here reminded us of how lucky we are to live here.
Beefy was happily snapping away.
The
Pig pushed on and caught up with first Coldtits and then Arkangel and
Cheerio Beerio just before the second Long-Short split. The Shorts
dropped down to the banks of the dart and the Longs embarked on the
half-mile loop up to the edge of Higher Gribble Plantation. Just before
a stile and a mini cattle grid a final check....not kicked out. A
check uphill revealed a cross so it was back to the check to kick it
out downhill to where a group of canoeists had gathered.
Back
on the reverse trail. First, it was a wide track until we rejoined the
outward trail for 100 metres before turning right and joining the
Shorts.
Initially,
the trail took us along the edge of open fields, on the banks of the
Dart, and heading back towards Totnes. We passed OHFB, Mark, Mateus,
Twiggy, and Rise 'n' Shine for the second time. Then we were into
woodland where we met up with Zen joining from the Walkers' trail.
Erection and Manopause weren't that far ahead. Then for the second
time, we passed Strap-Dancer. Surprisingly we didn't pass Wetfart or
Coldtits again; maybe Coldtits was on the Longs? The other Longs would
be behind. These comprised Ernie, Well Hopped, Big End, and, so it was
rumoured, Arkangel and Cheerio Beerio. But no sign of Strap-On. He,
too, must have been on the Long.
We
entered Totnes on Baltic Way and followed St Peter's Quay and New
Walk, past the Steam Packet, onto the Plains where the On Home directed
us back up Fore Street.
The Happy Snapper, Beefy, caught up and insisted on a run to the pub and three times around the car park to reach his 6 miles.
It
had been hot and humid but beautiful. Another Wet-Johnny success -
ably assisted by Erection and Manopause. However, Manopause caveated
his input on trail. "If it goes well I am a co-hare. if it's shite, it
was nothing to do with me!"
BIRDSCRIPT or semi-coherent recollections of the evening
PROLOGUE
Delayed
by an off-course very large campervan that had strayed onto the narrow
Claddon Lane near me. Four cars, including mine silver chariot, had to
reverse several hundred yards to allow passage. I was going to be late
for a most important date...
Another
late hashing chariot drew up behind me by the Wolborough Inn traffic
lights. Peeking through the rearview mirror, I was fairly sure it was
Piltdown and Georgy. We had ourselves a mini Convoy (1978). 'Breaker, breaker, Rubber Duck,' squawked the Bird.
At
7:25, Piltdown slewed his orange chariot under the Victoria Street car
park gantry while the Bird undershot and, snarling with rage, had to
reverse back.
The desperate trio and muttley made a run for the pub and, Shirley enough, the hash was still there. Howling hallelujahs!
TRAIL TALES
Through a gloomy ginnel, we fled in search of glory with the promise of a golden brew to come.
Motley were the FRB's, no Warm Front, Pollyfella to spearhead the assault and find the trail tonight.
Man-Pig
was more than slightly the worse for wear after Roman marching (with
many a refuelling stop) eighteen miles at the weekend; Big End was
still recovering from injury; Ernie would be inconvenienced by pulling
his milk cart up the hills; the Bird was on impulse power after
injuries to his injury, and Beefy was in tourist cum happy snapper
mode.
It
was fortunate indeed that the Bird was hatless as, after an initial
triumph, he got cocky [sic you fools] and the battle cry echoed down to
the Plains from on high: 'I'll eat my hat if it's down there!'
Devious were the hares and a convoluted passage unfolded before the inevitable tour of the scenic south side of the River Dart.
MENTIONED IN DESPATCHES
Wetfart
encountered returning from whatever trail variant he had chosen - how
he had got that far so quickly was somewhat mysterious.
Strap Dancer on a mission and scorning the ambling knots of sightseers.
Giving Able a shock when passing at a gateway.
Asked
for the time by Archangel and Cheerio and perplexingly finding that
the option was not possible on a Garmin Forerunner 30 whilst in
operational mode.
Encountering
the second L/S split and deciding it wasn't going to do me any good
and saluting the valiant Big End, Well Hopped, Archangel, and Cheerio
who were made of sterner stuff.
Discovering from Erection that he and Manopause had been press-ganged into haring by WJ.
Coldtits deciding that a shortcut up a steep gully was not worth the fifteen yards gained.
Meeting
up with the sightseers once more and overhearing Slip on Me's
plaintive wail: 'You're going too fast, Only Here for the Beer
(striding out for the beer), we can't keep up!' On seeing the Bird
swoop, muttering: 'But perhaps Bluebird can...'
In the same group, the horror of seeing clouds of smoke emanating from virgin Mark.
About to descend onto Baltic Wharf and there she was yet again - the Strap still purposefully Dancing - whoa!
Changing in the car park and Man-Pig greeting me with a 'You SCB!' Fair play, MP but It Ain't Half Hot Mum.
Finally, Beefy making a few laps of the CP to record the full six miles.
Thank you, Wet Johnny, Manopause, and Erection.
Goodbye, that's all he wrote.
THE DOWN-DOWNS
Yet
again returned awards were thin on the ground. However, Man-Pig had
Warm Front's award from last week and Bluebird had the Viking hat from a
previous Hash.
First,
we thanked the pub for the beer. Rob, the landlord, has always looked
after the hash - including when he was running the Dartmouth Inn. Thank
you, Rob.Were there any stories?
Arkangel came up with one. He'd asked
Bluebird what the time was. Bluebird looked at his wrist
computer/Garmin wizardry and said, "It's a computer. It doesn't tell
the time". What sort of computer is that? And this from the man who
runs the Hash Facebook page? A note for, "He'stupid. He's stupid. He's
so damn dumb if his mother hadn't been there he'd be a lump of cum".
This height of techno ludditeism was justly rewarded with a glass of
water.
Any more stories? Almost inevitably something had to come up from the weekend's Isca Roman Away Day.
Melonpicker
recited the sorry tale of he who gambled and lost. A bottle of malt
whiskey was literally within a hasher's grasp. But he couldn't see it
as it was in a box. Did he want to stick or swap?
Swap
he did only to see Buzby open the swapped box to a smile and a smirk.
"So what's in my box? A bloody bag of flour!" A note for the gambling
Man-Pig who, at least will literally be eating cake for the next week!
Our
virgin Mark was next up for a Down-Down. A note for the "Virgin
Vapour" despite protestations that it was a proper fag and not a vape.
Zen stating that this would be a fine hash handle.
Plenty
of beer left, so a Down-Down for the Hare, Wet-Johnny. He was driving,
so had a water whilst a delighted Manopause dispatched the beer in
pretty short order.
One
beer left. There was a birthday girl amongst us but only one person
knew who it was, and it was not a Hasher. Smellie's friend Jane was in
the pub having a quiet (well, quiet until we turned up) drink.
She
didn't want to come front and centre but was delighted to accept the
final half of Proper Job and thanked the Hash. We, nevertheless, sang
all the right notes in the wrong order.
Now it's goodbye from me and goodbye from Man-Pig.
NEXT WEEK
The Tap House, Tuckers Maltings, Newton Abbot. Hare - Arkangel.
ON ON to next week
Friday 29 July 2022
RAMBO'S BIRTHDAY HASH AND OF SWALLOWS, SWIFTS, AND HOUSEMARTINS
Run #1927 Monday 25th July from Ashcombe Cross junction
OD The Ship Inn, Chudleigh
HARES: Piltdown Man & Georgie Porgy
Who
wuz there: Piltdown Man, Georgy Porgy, Shitfaced, Man-Pig, Smellie,
Coldtits, Slip-on-Me, Rambo, Strap-On, Ernie, Wetfart, Teapot, Piddler,
Bluebird, Bobbiball (pub only), Warm Front, U-Bend, Melon-Picker,
Soapy, Pork Torpedo, Horny, Polyfella, Wet Johnny, Manopause, Pisswell,
Buzby, Screech, Emperor Ming, Dobi and several other visitors from
Isca and Otter Hashes who had turned up for Rambo's 69th birthday hash -
thank you all for cumming.
THE CIRCLE
Determined
not to let the venue deter anyone, Georgy Porgy, resplendent in hi-viz
yellow, perched at the edge of the A380 on traffic warden duty. The
Forestry Commission access road can comfortably accept 20 cars without
impeding emergency access. However, as the car numbers ramped up, so did
competition for spaces. Wetfart was the first to park elsewhere. As he
later said, "At least I'm closer to the pub". But, perhaps, not as
close as Coldtits. She had found a space about a third of the way along
the trail!
With
so many new faces, Shitfaced did not know if he was welcoming Teign
Valley Hash or Haldon Hash. I don't think that there was anyone there
from Haldon H3. Our visitors were from either Isca or Otter Valley
hashes and had made the journey especially to run with Rambo on the day
after his very special birthday. I wonder what that would be? There
were no announcements so over to the Hares.
Things
did not start well. There was a plea from the Hares, "Has anyone got
any flour?" Crumbs, was there a trail to follow? Had it been laid in
stones? No. George Porgy simply wanted to put an early arrow in for
latecomers. The trail had been laid in full but they'd run out of flour
at the very end. Returnee, Bluebird, came to the rescue with a half
bag of Homepride's finest.
Georgy
and Piltdown explained that there was a Walkers', Shorts', and Longs'
trail - approximately 2, 3, and 5 miles. The Walkers' was partially
unmarked and was substantially on road. "Just keep walking. You can't
go wrong". Additionally, there were some frisky Jersey or Guernsey's
calves in a field and there would be a Pimms stop.
THE TRAIL
It
is said that the English language is quite difficult for foreigners to
learn. I have to sympathise. Consider the following idiosyncrasies of
the English language. A man waits a whole lifetime for a virgin to come
along. Then, all of a sudden, two come along at once. Perplexingly,
both virgins have been well laid - and on consecutive weeks. To cap it
all, over 30 people claimed to have conquered the virgins and are now
completely f****d. What on earth was going on?
Amazingly,
for the second week running, we were on pretty much all virgin
territory for TVH3 courtesy of Georgy Porgy and Piltdown Man. What a
pleasant and unexpected surprise, especially so close to home.
So,
where did we go? The Walkers, Shorts, and Longs all set off on one of
the main tracks that run close to the southern boundary of Haldon
Forest. After a couple of checks, the trail exited onto a narrow lane
near Beggar's Bush.
At
the first junction, the Walkers went right and embarked on a straight
line to the Pimms stop. The Longs and the Shorts went left for a short
while before arriving at a crossroads where two arrows guided us right
and right again along an ancient track that was now a public footpath.
After
about a kilometre, we came to the Long/Short split. Melonpicker was
umming and erring which trail to take as was U-bend. Eventually, U-Bend
went Long and Melonpicker went Short.
The
Shorts' was a fairly straightforward trail to the Pimms stop. They
continued due north along the footpath at the end of which they turned
right and continued up through Waddon Brakes.
The
Longs' took the western branch of the footpath and headed towards
Chudleigh. A poor piece of checking early on had me at the back of the
pack but it wasn't long before I caught up with Piddler, then Pork
Torpedo, Horny and Smellie, and then - a roadblock. Some excitable
calves had blocked the path. Walking slowly towards them, they
eventually cleared the path and congregated around their barn. All
except one, who, for some reason, remained on the track. It didn't seem
shy at all and even licked the back of my hand - no doubt after the
salt in my sweat.
At
the end of the footpath, a check had been kicked out to the left. We
ran downhill through the tiny hamlet of Waddon (about 5 houses).
Another kicked-out check at Waddon Barton had me catching up with
Strap-On as we headed for Brimley Corner and another kicked-out check.
We
were now heading for Hams Barton where I encountered Pisswell. An
arrow took us into a beautiful field of corn and the opportunity for a
rest on a bench (kindly marked as such by the hares) beneath a young oak
tree.
However,
rest was not on the agenda. There was a Pimms stop to get to. The
footpath crossed a second field, recently cut, before exiting onto a
lane in front of Lower Upcott farm. A sharp left and up to Kerswell
Cross. A sharp right and the steep climb to Kerswell House where I
caught up with Manopause. Shortly thereafter, I came across Dobbie who
had just checked out a false trail.
The
correct trail took us down a track that rejoined the public highway
system at Mistletoe Farm. Here we caught up with Bluebird who was
apologising to farmers if we had disturbed their cattle.
Then
the climb. Oh, what a climb to get to the Pimms stop but well worth
the effort. The Walkers and the Shorts were already there along with
the FRB's, Polyfella, and Warm Front.
The
Pimms was excellent, embellished with fresh fruit - yum yum. Piltdown
was concerned about Smellie's whereabouts as we thought she might have
been at the back of the Longs. In fact, we had quite a few Longs to
wait for; Manopause, Pisswell, Smellie, Pork Torpedo, Horny, Piddler,
and, finally, U-Bend arrived. All accounted for. The final 3/4 mile was
fairly straightforward and, apart from one left turn, was a straight
run back to the Forestry Commission access road.
Beautiful views and new territory with a quality Pimms stop to boot. Well done Hares.
We have not finished with you yet, so get a cuppa and we will continue with:
FARMER SCROGGINS & A PINK GIRAFFE
The Bird was Stir Crazy (1980)
and desperate to escape the log cabin in the combe. A brief excursion
down the road to ye olde taverne had resulted in a charge of riotous
affray when he threw his beer - oh dear - at a local.
I gotta get out of this place!
If it's the last thing I ever do… (apologies to Eric)
If it's the last thing I ever do… (apologies to Eric)
The Ashcombe junction was just in range via Shaldon Bridge and oh, what a gay day, the Bird sallied forth in his silver Chariot of the Gods (Paperback: Erich von Daniken).
The massed ranks of an Otter and Isca raiding party arrived to aptly Support Your Local Sheriff! (1969) on his attainment of the magic hashing number.
Lean and mean looked the Otter boys and the Bird's eyes narrowed, anticipating a right royal burn-up.
Pleasantries dispensed with, the triple hash set off in search of what were to be pastures new and eventually High Anxiety (1977) for some for their encounter with that mighty herd of red-eyed cows...
But
first, there was a jolly maze of forest paths to navigate. The hares
had been liberal with the opening checks and the FRB's were thwarted in
their collective endeavours to escape the pack. Warm Front appeared,
crashing through dense undergrowth from hard a starboard and Man-Pig was
intent on exploring highly dubious paths into dense foliage.
An Otter FRB found the escape route onto terra tarmac and the game was Shirley at least a foot long. ON ON, you wally brains!
I
was pleased and not a little surprised that I could actually stay in
the game early doors and it was only later that I discovered that the
trail was a game of two halves: Two and a half miles down and most
unfortunately - two and a half miles up... sigh.
Back
to the action and two or three Otter FRB's had fled the scene and the
Bird was causing a tailback in a narrow lane as other speedsters queued
up to pass. And pass they did, a flying machine with a tiny muttley in
tow; a pink giraffe; a green striped zebra, and other assorted blurs.
Manopause was on a good one and on we surged.
We
heard the sound of hooves first and then, moments later, the mighty
herd of Jersey cows - as forewarned by Piltdown - stampeded across the
path in front of us in a huge cloud of dust - Yeehah!
Manopause
had a deja vu moment - he had been in an identical situation on a
previous hash - and stood stock [sic Ha!] still until the herd finally
stopped Rollin' rollin' rollin'. No? well please yourselves then.
Many
an adventure ensued, Piltdown cruised alongside in his orange chariot,
mildly surprised that the Bird was still going, Warm Front and
Pollyfella were glimpsed from time to time and Manopause kept trucking.
The checks were cunningly placed and kept the FRB's within eyesight.
Coursing
through a bleached meadow, a flour inscribed 'REST' was espied in
front of a bench. Shamefully do I admit that I actually considered the
invitation but Manopause was still in close attendance and I was a man,
Betty, and struggled onwards.
Beyond the seat of eternal rest, a knot of Otters paused at a check awaiting info from Warm Front and Pollyfella.
Cards marked, orf we jolly well went. Young Dobbie was kept entertained by tales of yore and patiently did he endure.
And
there, around a bend, Farmer Scroggins was standing by his farm gate
and he wasn't smiling. 'Arrr, have ye all stopped yer shoutin' yet?' 'Oh
hello, Farmer Scroggins, nice evening isn't it?' replied the
twittering one. 'I'm terribly sorry about that and yes, I think they'll
be quieter now.' coo-ed the featherless one.
'By
the way, are they Guernsey's or Jersey's?' 'They be Jersey's,
arrrrrrr!' 'How do you tell the difference?' 'Arrrrrr, Guernsey's have
a pinker nose, arrrrr.'
'Thank you kindly, Farmer Scroggins, and once more, sincere apologies for the noise.'
'Arrrrrr, they be dairy, arrrrrrrr!' And with that, Dobbie and the Bird took their leave of Farmer Scroggins ... Arrrrrr!
The
Wong Wei Man-Pig had finally caught up and the trio commenced the
climb to the Pimms. Oh my, it wasn't that steep but it was a good mile
and over three hundred feet of ascent.
Man-Pig
insisted on showing us who was the boss and ran the whole flipping
lot. Young Dobbie (67) and the Bird (89) played the walk a hundred, jog
a hundred game though Dobbie's jog was quicker than the Bird's and he
wasn't best pleased at being dropped by the two youngsters.
Goblets,
tankards and beakers were laid out at the Pimms stop and being pretty
nigh spent, it was pleasant to tarry with the throng, especially as the
pub was not an option.
Thank
you, Piltdown and Georgy for a fine trail indeedy and it was glorious
to be able to participate on the long once more - touch wood it's not
famous last words.
THE DOWN-DOWNS
The
Ship Inn does not do food so some Hashers had gone to the Co-Op to get
scoff. Others had planned ahead and brought their food to the pub.
Rambo, as promised, arrived with a birthday cake which was distributed
to all and sundry.
Man-Pig welcomed all to the On-Down for run no. 1927, especially our visitors from Isca and Otter Hashes.
First
up to dish out a notional award was last week's Pondlife - Coldtits.
Confusion abounded about last week's nomination so Coldtits ended up
drinking the half pint of water herself.
Next
up was the dyslexic Smellie. Again no tangible award to hand out so
just a story. After some thinking, Smellie awarded her down-down to
Piddler for poor parking. A note for the "Poor parker".
Piltdown
discreetly reminded the RA at this juncture that the Songmeister was
present. Next up were the joint birthday boys and girls, Rambo and
Coldtits. However, Coldtits was not giving anything away about her
birthday; just saying that it was close to her sister's and they were a
year apart.....hmmm. The Songmeister comes up with "Old McDonald had
terrets" instead of the usual birthday cacophony.
Two
halves left. Surely to the Hares? But wait. George Porgy doesn't like
beer and Slip-on-Me actually has an award from a fortnight ago!
Slip-on-Me awards the horned hat to Warm Front for getting her back on
trail whilst Piltdown Man gets the last half pint for a trail well
laid.
NEXT WEEK
King William IV, Totnes with Hare, Wet Johnny.
Oh.
Were you wondering what the reference to swallows, swifts, and
housemartins was all about? I walked to the pub with a couple of Otter
Valley hashers (apologies, I do not know your names).
There
is an alleyway between the car park and the main road through
Chudleigh. We've all been through it many times. However, I have never
noticed grey nesting boxes attached to the gable end of one of the
buildings. A peculiar design of nesting box as the access is from
underneath. These are specifically for swifts. And, sure enough, as we
looked up approximately 20 swifts were flying above us.
There
ensued a conversation about the differences between swifts, swallows,
and housemartins. Apparently, the parents take their offspring on
several aerial familiarisation flights in the vicinity of their nests
before they migrate south for the winter. This ensures that the
offspring return to the same nests that they were born in the following
summer. Amazing!
On-On to next week.
Thursday 21 July 2022
TVH3 The Words for 18th July 2022
Locks Cross, Ponsworthy, Dartmoor
On-Down The Rugglestone
Run No. 1926
HARE: Pisswell
Who
wuz there: Pisswell, Beefy, Man-Pig, Cheerio-Beerio, Piltdown Man,
Georgy Porgy, Smellie, Coldtits, Slip-on-Me, Rambo, Well Hopped, Big
End, Strap-On, Strap-Dancer, Ernie, Wetfart, Teapot.
The Circle
The
car park at Locks cross is small. However, we all managed to cram in -
except Ernie who decided to park on a grassy knoll opposite. Despite
the sound of gunfire nearby, we were reasonably confident that it
wasn't Lee Harvey Oswald creating all the noise.
Piltdown
Man found a horse wearing a burka and Shitfaced was absent,
allegedly due to a migraine. Hence Piltdown Man took over the Grand
Master's duties for the evening. It was very brief. "Thank you for
turning up".
Rambo
had an announcement about needing hares for three Mondays in
September. Then it was over to the Hare, Pisswell. There were three
trails, Walkers, Shorts, and Longs. "The marks may not be very clear in
bracken (they were) so head for the obvious viewpoint if you lose the
trail". Additionally, "There is a bailer in one field and it's
difficult to lay flour on hay. Follow the footpath".
The Trail by hare Pisswell
Tune by the Worzels, “Where be that blackbird to?”
Lyrics by hare, for a bit of Dartmoor dialect!
============================
Where be that car park to?
I know where it be.
Just be up that gurt big ‘ill
Up out of Ponsworthy
Neath Corndon tor
Up on the moor
We’ll circle and I’ll tell you
It’s 5 the long, that’s definite
All others, choice of two
Dunna Dunna Dunna Dunna Dunna Dunna
Where’s the down down?
The Rugg!
Where are we gwain to?
Most went down the hill
Longs and co across the moor
For views just take your fill
Theyre off to Primms
No more lived in
Then down the lane to Sweaton
They baled my marks into the hay
But no one was beaten!
Dunna Dunna Dunna Donna Dunna Dunna
Make your choice at The Splash
Some followed back the longs
Some the two moors way
Under the ladder there
Unlucky there today!
Was Coldtits gone?
We carried on
Whilst Beefy went to find her
She’s having fun, forgot to run,
Par-ty down by the river!
Dunna Dunna Dunna Dunna Dunna Dunna
Ov-er the bridge to Jordan
At the writing on the wall
Choice on to Shallowford
Or a short towards the left
Shortcut to Corndonford
A solo trek across the bog
Was taken on by Smellie
All dry now, it’s been so hot
No need for wellies!
Dunna Dunna Dunna Dunna Dunna Dunna
Wildlife resue Coldtits!
One more last split to go
A viewpoint for the longs
Up through Higher Foxworthy
But easy to go wrong!
Virgin ground, beat bracken down
To help them all with wending
There way up top to Corndon tor
Not lost, happy ending!
Dunna Dunna Dunna Dunna Dunna Dunna
Back to Ruggle
We’re done!
Who may have gathered there?
I know who they be
Pisswell, Beefy, Ernie too Teapot and Slip on me. Manpig,
Piltdown, Wet Farts around Smellie, Georgie Porgie Coldtits, Strap on, Strap dancer too
Well hopped and Big End
Dunna Dunna Dunna Dunna Dunna Dunna
Cheerio Beerio Rambo
Who got the down downs down?
I know who they be
For the hare and Beefy too
For Sweeping round for me
Big End had one, though what he done
Was just not driving Well Hopped
But Smellie’s letter upside down
“Medium” was well copped!
Dunna Dunna Dunna Dunna Dunna Dunna
Hottest day yet
Well done x
The Trail by Man-Pig
Well,
what can I say about the trail? Part three of Pisswell's Dartmoor
Trilogy 2022 exceeded the incredibly high standard already set over the
previous 1twelve months or so. I think it would be best to let the
photos tell the story of the trail. It was beautiful and virgin
territory from start to finish.
The
Walkers and the Shorts headed downhill into Ponsworthy whilst the
Longs headed uphill along the edge of Sherberton Common. After about
200 yards the trail took us off-road and left past the only house on
the common. A tiny, isolated shed really with very little land. It had,
nevertheless, just sold at auction for a staggering £601k. Beefy and
I agreed that the price must include £451k for the views (see
photos).
We
rejoined road and headed southeast for about 300 yards before a mark
had us entering the recently cut field followed by a second field
where the hay had already been baled. Ernie took the opportunity of
having a hash slash behind a bale whilst the rest of us entered a dark
and ancient walled track that took us back to the edge of Ponsworthy.
At
this point, we came across the walkers coming in the other direction.
Pisswell had connived a plan as cunning as anything dreamt up by
Blackadder. The Longs' early loop was also the Walkers' trail but in
reverse.
At
the end of the track, we hit tarmac again and dropped into the
southern end of Ponsworthy. At the "splash" (ford) we joined up with
the Shorts' trail and it wasn't long before we caught up with Rambo and
Strap-Dancer. This part of the trail is incredibly picturesque as it
runs
northwards following Two Moors Way along the banks of the west
Webburn River. We caught up with the Shorts and Pisswell at Jordan Mill
Cottage just after crossing the bridge. Jordan Mill Cottage is a
quintessentially beautiful thatched Devon cottage; a lot of ooooohs and
ahhhhs when we passed that one (hopefully someone has a photo of it).
At
Jordan, we followed an uphill track that arced around to East
Shallowford. Halfway around the arc, we came to a Long/Short split. The
shorts went due east and uphill towards Corndon Ford Farm. The Longs
embarked on a loop around to East Shallowford then uphill and left
eventually rejoining the Shorts near Corndon Ford Farm. The Longs had
kept pretty tight up to this point and comprised Man-Pig, Well-Hopped,
Big End, Strap-On, and Ernie with Beefy sweeping.
A check had Man-Pig on a fool's errand whilst everyone else headed, correctly, for Foxworthy.
Here
we came to the final Long/Short split. The cars were within sniffing
distance so Strap-On made a bee-line for the car park. The others
followed the Longs' trail up to the top of Corndon Tor at 1396 feet
above sea level where we were blessed with the most spectacular of
views. A brief photo op as the sun set behind us before beefy guided
us off the Tor and back to the car park.
5.36
thoroughly enjoyable miles. Thank you, Pisswell. A fantastic trail,
very well laid, and virgin territory to boot. Just brilliant!
The Down-Downs
The
Walkers had got back to the pub well before the Longs. Teapot had
already gone home. Wetfart was just finishing his beer. Beefy was
running back o the pub via his house for a quick shower and
Cheerio-Beerio never made it back to the pub.
Pisswell
was waiting for Rambo back at the car park whilst he was taking
photos. hence the Down-Downs didn't commence until 9.45. There was
also some confusion regarding a tray containing two untouched pints of
beer and a pint of water. Had teapot got the Down-Downs in and then
left? Apparently not. They were a cancelled order from a Dutch couple
who thought that the beer was too warm!
Pisswell
arranged the Down-Down drinks and it was over to Man-Pig to RA for
the evening. there were only nine of us left and none of those present
had awards from two weeks previously. Hence the first two halves
went to the Hares for another excellent Dartmoor trail.
With
no hats to award, Man-Pig put Smellie on the spot as she had had a
down-down two weeks ago as one of the three best-themed costumes on from
our Fourth of July hash.
Eventually, Smellie came up with a story
about someone on trail describing her pond life, in particular,
dragonflies. This was Coldtits. However, Coldtits was driving so
nominated Big End to have her half. A note for "Pondlife".
Were
there any stories on trail? Strap-On came to the rescue with a story
about a hasher who, on returning to the car park, saw an "M" on the
ground written in flour. "Oh. Pisswell's also laid a medium trail!".
Errrrm. Well, no. It's actually the Walker's outward trail upside down.
Accordingly, a note for Smellie as the "dyslexic one".
Next week
Ashcombe
Cross junction on the A380 - Forestry Commission access road; Hare
is Piltdown Man no doubt aided by Georgy Porgy. The On-down is
tentatively earmarked as the Ship Inn, Chudleigh - details to be
confirmed on Facebook.
On-On to next week. Man-Pig
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