A WARM WELCOME FROM TVH3

Welcome to the Teign Valley Hash House Harriers of glorious South Devon. You are guaranteed a warm welcome and a great hash experience. We are the 'Party Hash' and we run from pubs all over Torbay, Dartmoor and the Teign Valley every Monday evening at 7.15pm. Our trails are marked with flour, chalk or sawdust and take in woodland, streams, byways, bridle paths and rolling countryside. We cater for all abilities, you needn't worry about keeping up, a leisurely walk with others or a good paced run if you're fit - you choose. The run duration is anything from 30 minutes to an hour and the distance is normally between 3-6 miles depending on whether you decide to take a short or long trail. Your first run is free, so come along and give it a go! After the run hashers enjoy a drink and food in the pub. On many occasions, the pub will lay on a 'Hash Menu', food specially for hashers.

WHAT TO EXPECT AT YOUR FIRST HASH

Starts soon after 7:15 pm each Monday.
The Grandmaster will gather the hash together in a circle and welcome Virgins & Visitors to TVH3 and inform the group of pertinent news or upcoming events.
Hares will announce details or the trail, number of long and short splits and regroups.

Down-Downs - sometimes at the circle but usually in the pub after the run. Hashers and harriets (lady hashers) have a half pint and under age hashers have a soft drink or water. If you are driving, just ask the RA for water.

A Down-Down is a means of punishing, rewarding, or merely recognizing an individual for any action or behavior. Once awarded, the downdown must be drunk without pause, otherwise the RA may take action!

Individuals may be recognized for outstanding service, or for their status as a visitor or newcomer.

Down-Downs also serve as punishment for misdemeanours real, imagined, or blatantly made up.

Such transgressions may include: wearing new shoes, pointing with a finger, or the use of real names rather than hash names.

Hash Names

The use of real names (nerd name) during an event is discouraged, and members are typically given a new "hash name," usually in deference to a particularly notorious escapade, a personality trait, or their physical appearance.

Members are named after attending the hash on several occasions or if something noteworthy occurs to prompt a naming.

Other hashers may share stories or observations about the individual, with the final name being chosen by general consensus from all suggestions put forward by the hash.

NEWCOMERS TO THE HASH
Completely new to hashing? Don't know what to expect? Worried, shy or nervous? You needn't be as all newcomers or virgins as they are known, will receive a warm welcome. When the hashers are called to make a circle - about 7:15 pm each Monday, the Grand Master will welcome all hashers and after various notices about forthcoming events etc are dealt with, he will ask if there are any visitors from other hashes or virgins present. You will be asked to come forward and be introduced to the hash. A tip to remember, don't wear new trainers as these are frowned upon by the RA (Religious Advisor) and will incur a sprinkling of flour over them. That's all there is to it and you can then step back and enjoy the run and the social get together after in the On Down (the pub). Whatever your pace, there are certain to be others who will keep you company along the trail. Walk, jog or run - it's up to you.
Hashing is all about making friends and having fun, so just turn up any Monday and have a go.

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I BLAME IT ON THE GUN DOG IN THE FAIRY GROTTO

Mon 1st October #1762 The Park Inn Kingskerswell with Hares Shitfaced & T.Humper

Recollections - I've had a few Gun Dogs, but then again, too few to mention* as it was a strange, almost mystical evening from the Park Inn on the first evening of October. And, in my defence, I blame it on the Gun Dog in the fairy grotto. Confused? Then read on, my faithful and long suffering literates..

Said (befuddled) recollections, such as they were, herewith follow but remember the title please:
June 11th last time at the Park Inn #1746

The gathering gloom prompts a semi poetic opening by our venerable Grand Master:
'We might just celebrate the last vestiges of light (at the circle) before it gets really dark.'

The background blur of various notices by various hashers disturb the various hashers' gossip and catch up - naughty school kids all.

Man Pig reveals a bit of intelligence on the direction of the trail: 'There's flour everywhere outside mine!'

Teapot - he came back - a man like him** calls the attendees at thirty five, just as three more round the corner.

An extremely shy virgin is shielded and protected from the motley crew by T Humper - Casey is her name, not to be confused with the vice president.

We listen to important details such as Shitfaced declaring a monster six mile long.

We're off and the first climb will decide what trail I can attempt. Breasting the rise and the first L/S split, I hesitate and then decide to play the game and go long, a wiser Erection (can an erection ever be wise, I hear you ask) skedaddles right onto the short. If I knew then what I know now, I would have Shirley followed.

Man Pig and Fukarwe chat but I'm too breathless to join in.

Note the natty red heel flashers on Pork Torpedo - I want some.

Past the Lord Nelson we trundle and down nearly to 3sum's drum before inevitably turning right back down to the main road. We all have a sense of deja vu as we negotiate the playing fields, but in reverse.

Up a short hill and we rejoin the trail all of 75 yards down from that first L/S split, yes, we have been silly-sodded - sigh.

I have latched onto Piddler, he of the long range bermudas and twin knee protectors. Shirley to heaven I can keep up with him - but no, he soon disappears at a rate of about one knot an hour into the velvety darkness, never to be seen again.

Up over the bypass and the madding crowd swells the highway. The big decision is whether to ascend the fields below North Whilborough or quit while I'm ahead. Now, do I look like a Wally?

So return it is, nattering with Melon Picker about B & Q's rip off prices.

Back in the welcoming Park, I hear that the hash has skirted the Bickleigh Mill and gone out as far as the Barn Owl - an epic indeed and all of the predicted six miles - confirmed by Beefy's strava.
Armed with my first Gun Dog 4.3 ABV, I retire to the mystical fairy grotto where the hash eats are being set up.

I join the crony crew table of Deep Throat, Grinder and Poacher to enjoy the Gun Dog.

The Ipplepenners' table is bare indeed with only Wet Johnny and Erection being let out to play.

Teapot takes the DDs which are:
T Humper, Pillock shirt to Man Pig for going home to take a shower after run.
Piltdown, Horsey horse face hat to Piddler - the reason escapes me and I blame it on the Gun Dog + the audio on the clip crashed.
SatNav to Deep Throat for 'getting lost' on trail.
Finally, a well deserved DD for Shitfaced for the big 6 miler.

EPILOGUE
The Parkies served up yet another feast of hashing with a not for the fainthearted epic trail and the hash special grub in the 'fairy grotto'. A lot of hard work was truly appreciated by all, thanks T Humper & Shitfaced.

*Apologies to Frank & Elvis
**Calvera, The Magnificent Seven you fools

TVH3 HABERDASHERY LINK

NEW MISMANAGEMENT & CONTACT TELS.

Grand Master Shitfaced mobile 07973 682201
Vice G M Winfield mobile 07855355338
On Sec Piltdown Man mobile 07773038756
R A Organiser Teapot
R A Manpig
R A Forrest Stump
R A Fallen Woman
Hash Cash Threesome
Hash Tax Satnav
Trail Raiser Doris
Haberdashery Zoot
Song Master Pork Torpedo
Social Sec T. Humper
Spider /Web Bluebird
Life President Pottsie
Vice President K C

HASH SUBS

HASH SUBS £25 and for your assistance you can now use the BACS payment system to pay please.
Details as follows.... Hash Account number 69068186 Sort code 55-70-01 NOTE you must use your HASH NAME as a reference. Many thanks Three-Some & Satnav

JESSE'S DD FROM THE TALLY HO!

EXPLANATION OF ARCHIVE TVH3 SITES

GREATHASHGOD: A dedicated site (presently mothballed and serves as archive content only) with all TVH3 content. Mostly photos from each Monday's hash but also some video clips. Named after our Life President Pottsie.

PRECONDEROTOUS: Containing the entire archive of TVH3 of some 1000 vid clips and over 5000 posts and photos. Started on November 11th 2007, the site is active with Bluebird's personal content but the archive content is fascinating and preserved, well worth a look.

Fukarwi

Fukarwi

REARENDER

REARENDER

TEAPOT

TEAPOT

SOAPY

SOAPY

MOULDY DICK

MOULDY DICK

MELONPICKER

MELONPICKER

FALLEN WOMAN

FALLEN WOMAN

DORIS

DORIS

BROKEN MAN

BROKEN MAN

ARCHANGEL

ARCHANGEL

ABLE SEMEN

ABLE SEMEN

Previously unreleased clip - Vicky's naming from the Sea Trout

FOR TVH3 HABERDASHERY CONTACT ZOOT

FOR TVH3 HABERDASHERY CONTACT ZOOT

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