A WARM WELCOME FROM TVH3

Welcome to the Teign Valley Hash House Harriers of glorious South Devon. You are guaranteed a warm welcome and a great hash experience. We are the 'Party Hash' and we run from pubs all over Torbay, Dartmoor and the Teign Valley every Monday evening at 7.15pm. Our trails are marked with flour, chalk or sawdust and take in woodland, streams, byways, bridle paths and rolling countryside. We cater for all abilities, you needn't worry about keeping up, a leisurely walk with others or a good paced run if you're fit - you choose. The run duration is anything from 30 minutes to an hour and the distance is normally between 3-6 miles depending on whether you decide to take a short or long trail. Your first run is free, so come along and give it a go! After the run hashers enjoy a drink and food in the pub. On many occasions, the pub will lay on a 'Hash Menu', food specially for hashers.

WHAT TO EXPECT AT YOUR FIRST HASH

Starts soon after 7:15 pm each Monday.
The Grandmaster will gather the hash together in a circle and welcome Virgins & Visitors to TVH3 and inform the group of pertinent news or upcoming events.
Hares will announce details or the trail, number of long and short splits and regroups.

Down-Downs - sometimes at the circle but usually in the pub after the run. Hashers and harriets (lady hashers) have a half pint and under age hashers have a soft drink or water. If you are driving, just ask the RA for water.

A Down-Down is a means of punishing, rewarding, or merely recognizing an individual for any action or behavior. Once awarded, the downdown must be drunk without pause, otherwise the RA may take action!

Individuals may be recognized for outstanding service, or for their status as a visitor or newcomer.

Down-Downs also serve as punishment for misdemeanours real, imagined, or blatantly made up.

Such transgressions may include: wearing new shoes, pointing with a finger, or the use of real names rather than hash names.

Hash Names

The use of real names (nerd name) during an event is discouraged, and members are typically given a new "hash name," usually in deference to a particularly notorious escapade, a personality trait, or their physical appearance.

Members are named after attending the hash on several occasions or if something noteworthy occurs to prompt a naming.

Other hashers may share stories or observations about the individual, with the final name being chosen by general consensus from all suggestions put forward by the hash.

NEWCOMERS TO THE HASH
Completely new to hashing? Don't know what to expect? Worried, shy or nervous? You needn't be as all newcomers or virgins as they are known, will receive a warm welcome. When the hashers are called to make a circle - about 7:15 pm each Monday, the Grand Master will welcome all hashers and after various notices about forthcoming events etc are dealt with, he will ask if there are any visitors from other hashes or virgins present. You will be asked to come forward and be introduced to the hash. A tip to remember, don't wear new trainers as these are frowned upon by the RA (Religious Advisor) and will incur a sprinkling of flour over them. That's all there is to it and you can then step back and enjoy the run and the social get together after in the On Down (the pub). Whatever your pace, there are certain to be others who will keep you company along the trail. Walk, jog or run - it's up to you.
Hashing is all about making friends and having fun, so just turn up any Monday and have a go.

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OLLIE'S MAGIC MONKEY

Monday 8th October #1763 from Labrador Bay CP, OD Church House Inn at Stokeinteignhead. Hare Ollie

We gathered in the Labrador Bay CP on a dry, windless, autumnal evening full of promise. Ollie had decided to go coast side for his Harvest Festival Auction hash trail before decanting us down Deane Road to the Church House Inn for the auction fun.

Thirty five, including Polyfella and AH3 Avatar, made the dark circle to listen to GM Piltdown, precariously balanced on the bank betwixt the car park and the Teignmouth Road.

Ollie was summoned and outlined two L/S splits and no RGs as time was of the essence. His stratagem was 'keep it simple, keep it safe' but the irresolute and infirm would know all about the infamous coast path trestles, sooner rather than later..

The route was simplicity itself - even an idiot couldn't go wrong, Shirley. The longs would prescribe a clockwise, rectangular route from Labrador to Maidencombe low side and return via the high route to enjoy the splendid views out over Babbacombe and Lyme bay. The shorts would go the same route until turning off right into Blackberry Lane, just above the Mackerel Cove VP.

Ollie, gent that he is, had kindly marked my card beforehand and in truth, I was unable to run, so I stuck to my two words of undeniable wisdom pertaining to navigation of this coastal strip: Stay high (you fools).

The hash had quickly settled into known groups of ability and I felt sorry for the Teapot group of Wetfart, Able and Twin Buffers who descended into the lower reaches of the RSPB Reserve, heading for the first of the trestled climbs - and possibly the most demanding. Known as the 'alpine curves', it was an ascent so severe that it had to take in several hairpin turns to gain the summit.

A lifeline and a way out was offered. Some maniac with a shunting horn was heard (and seen courtesy of his headlight) high up above the trekking file. 'Do you see the light? DO YOU SEE THE LIGHT?' * Well, Teapot's little group did and wisely scuttled for the exit. Others did not and upon breasting the alpine curves, the vanguard of the shorts - Squashed Balls and #69 saw a steep trestled descent unfold. 'I really don't want to go down there.' muttered Squashed Balls forlornly and there miraculously was James Brown, complete with shining light to give solace to the clearly suffering duo.

Atop Labrador summit, the toiling trail of lights, barely moving, was a fine sight to behold, though the super heroes of the long had already descended to Maidencombe led by Deep Throat and Poacher, locked in mortal combat. Grinder was a little way behind but Beefy had somehow managed to get into an argument with some brambles and had lost contact. Surprisingly, Manopause had got the better of his mentor Wet Johnny and was having a fine time out there under the stars. WJ lamented later in the pub 'The legs had gone, gone I say!'

Finally, after our sightseeing tour, we arrived back at the scenic car park to find a 'semi' long Wigwam already changing. 'I dun the first long guv, honest!' Twin Buffers and the 'Saw the Light' crew had already made it and were first down the hill to the bar.

The Church House had Otter, Jail and Doom Bar on tap and plates of gratis chips were promised for the TVH gannets - many thanks Simon.

The DDs were got out of the way before the main event:
Deep Throat (substitute Checkin' Chicken hat) to Poacher for 'Forgetting to charge his head torch.'
Manpig (Hashit Pillock shirt) to Shitfaced for filming T Humper's epic karaoke turn on the TVH away day Brewery Tour.**
A joint DD for Squashed Balls and Twin Buffers celebrating their 8th anniversary meeting at this event.

The auctioneer was, as ever, Teapot and the bidding was frenetic and keenly fought. Poacher refused to be outbid on many a produce lot prompting the classic comment from Only Here: 'The caullies must be selling well!' However, Poacher finally relented on the last lot, a sought after copy of Soapy's Havoc book - allowing Melissa (chair of St Marychurch Traders) to take the prize.
Totting up the figures, the amount raised for Rowcroft was a new auction record of £505 - Ollie's Magic Monkey indeed!

POSTSCRIPT
A lovely evening and grateful thanks must go to Ollie for travelling down specially to lay the trail for us. It was just reward for his efforts that so much was raised on the evening and he was justifiably gratified by the generosity of TVH.

* James Brown, The Blues Brothers (1980)
** Soon to be made into a film: Teign Valley P**s Up (2018)

ON ON to next week from the Castle Inn at Stoke Gabriel with Wigwam.

TVH3 HABERDASHERY LINK

NEW MISMANAGEMENT & CONTACT TELS.

Grand Master Shitfaced mobile 07973 682201
Vice G M Winfield mobile 07855355338
On Sec Piltdown Man mobile 07773038756
R A Organiser Teapot
R A Manpig
R A Forrest Stump
R A Fallen Woman
Hash Cash Threesome
Hash Tax Satnav
Trail Raiser Doris
Haberdashery Zoot
Song Master Pork Torpedo
Social Sec T. Humper
Spider /Web Bluebird
Life President Pottsie
Vice President K C

HASH SUBS

HASH SUBS £25 and for your assistance you can now use the BACS payment system to pay please.
Details as follows.... Hash Account number 69068186 Sort code 55-70-01 NOTE you must use your HASH NAME as a reference. Many thanks Three-Some & Satnav

JESSE'S DD FROM THE TALLY HO!

EXPLANATION OF ARCHIVE TVH3 SITES

GREATHASHGOD: A dedicated site (presently mothballed and serves as archive content only) with all TVH3 content. Mostly photos from each Monday's hash but also some video clips. Named after our Life President Pottsie.

PRECONDEROTOUS: Containing the entire archive of TVH3 of some 1000 vid clips and over 5000 posts and photos. Started on November 11th 2007, the site is active with Bluebird's personal content but the archive content is fascinating and preserved, well worth a look.

Fukarwi

Fukarwi

REARENDER

REARENDER

TEAPOT

TEAPOT

SOAPY

SOAPY

MOULDY DICK

MOULDY DICK

MELONPICKER

MELONPICKER

FALLEN WOMAN

FALLEN WOMAN

DORIS

DORIS

BROKEN MAN

BROKEN MAN

ARCHANGEL

ARCHANGEL

ABLE SEMEN

ABLE SEMEN

Previously unreleased clip - Vicky's naming from the Sea Trout

FOR TVH3 HABERDASHERY CONTACT ZOOT

FOR TVH3 HABERDASHERY CONTACT ZOOT

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