Run #1766 Monday 29th October: Seven Stars at Kennford. Hares Piltdown & Georgy P Orgy
The Seven Stars at Kennford - Kennford? That's a tad far out, oh Grandest One and it has turned chilly to boot Bertie..
However, Trevor, Winfield messaged that he wasn't exactly on 'cruise' control so I was forced to risk it and go as a werewolf. Soapy would back me up, Shirley, so I wouldn't look a complete idiot...
I dimly recall clogged up Kennford, so I arrived a day early to secure a chariot space. HA! There was Beefy and he was also going to risk it on his RocknRolla ankle. 69 and Avatar persuaded me to go inside the Seven Stars to keep warm but the locals looked at me as though I was an Idiot ... sigh.
The chariots arrived and the great host scattered in search of elusive spaces. White van men U Bend and Piddler briefly gazed at the congested carnage outside the pub and drove on.
Thirty two hashers and an assortment of hounds eventually made the circle outside the Seven Stars and only the Grand Master backed me up with that Tommy Cooper black wig - just like that!
The GM welcomed us with the glad tidings that, mercifully, there was no question this week and then introduced a virgin, Sherelle, for the pack's perusal. Another Parkee and at this rate they'll need a minibus. Welcome indeed, the more the merrier.
Now to the important part of every circle banter - the trail details which this week were a little different Doris. The short was 2.83 miles, the long 5.63 and there was also a 'wimp out' trail from the long of 4.7 miles. The pack would stay together for two thirds of a mile and then the longs and shorts would say goodbye forever Forest AND NO SS! I liked it, I liked it!
An alien terrain (well, for me anyway) greeted us as we climbed out of Kennford and headed for open country. Past the point of no return at the only L/S split and the warriors sorted themselves out. Wide Receiver led our select gathering, closely tracked by Manopause and Manpig. Breathing through the werewolf mask was not recommended and I had to remove it to stay in the action (yes, you were right Wide). An unwelcome feature of the hill and dale trail was the four step stile system and Manpig and I lost ground at each one as the youthful elements coursed onwards, ever onwards.
The first adventure occurred just before the great wimp out point. Wide's headtorch could be seen below us but Manpig, Manopause and I were trapped in a field above and a great deal of shouting broke out (from guess who?). Manpig and Manopause surrendered and backtracked to the previous check to be on trail again but, a nameless one chose another option. Finding a gap in the hedge and jumping a water filled ditch, the cry of triumph echoed across the valley. Half a mile away, Beefy heard and sighed in resignation. And there was Piltdown, shining his headtorch like a beacon, guiding us to glory.
Meanwhile, some way back and cautiously testing the ankle, Beefy had let the longs steal a march and he found himself detached from the action. Last of the longs on trail and with the ankle not coping well with field and furrow, Beefy would be out there for some time - more on his travails later.
The pattern of the longs had now been set. Wide was well away and would solo to the finish. Manopause, Manpig and BB would duke it out, on and off while Piddler and the Yeti* would drift back and forth, always maintaining contact.
We learnt much later (in the pub) that Archangel, arriving late, had also set out onto the long trail making eight takers or a quarter of the hash having a go-go dance.
The Band of Brothers plus a relentlessly fluorescing Yeti pressed on, crossing the M5, A30 and A38, taking in many wondrous vistas and unknown territory along the way. Piddler entertained with his offering of 'She was only the Abominable Snowman's daughter, Yet I loved her...' No?
Piddler's tech showed that we covered 6.3 miles in all so had only gone off trail by about 700 metres and time flew as we had such fun out there.
The Seven Stars, rarely visited by TVH was welcoming and the Seven Stars session ale 3.7 abv (£3.50 a pint) hit the spot every time, didn't it Only Here, or were you on the Jail? The house pizza challenge defeated all comers - a half pizza at £8.50 a throw was a magnificent sight. Shitfaced managed a quarter of a quarter: 'It's the thickness of the pizza dough that defeats you.' I begged a portion off Wide and it was a winner. Doggy bags galore were the order of the evening.
DDs were awarded by Wide
A case of mistaken identity as Roxanne was selected as the miscreant who had admitted following BB on trail - corrected to Manopause and trust me, that lad can really moto moto.
A saga by Manpig who teased and prevaricated, apparently nominating SM Ellie for the dazzling Yeti jacket and then yon virgin, Sherelle for wearing a clean pair of shoes before, finally dearly beloved, giving the ruddy hat to Slip on Me for her comment to Only Here 'You mustn't worry, Archangel is far more experienced than you!'
A birthday DD for I-Poo'd followed plus a cake offering from T Humper.
Most reluctantly (still forlornly awaiting Archangel and Beefy to return) Slip on Me awarded the Hashit shirt to Only Here for the Beer for being only here for the beer.
POSTSCRIPT
Yes, they eventually returned to a welcome fit for heroes. Beefy after going the Wang Wei** - made the Matford roundabout before retracing his footsteps and recording just short of eight miles. Archangel recovered from some dodgy kicked out checks to get round in his own time.
The trail was, in my opinion, a great one and very well thought out by the hares. It took in all terrains, was hilly and demanding just as I like them and I am so glad I didn't miss it. And do you know what? I would have actually paid for the privilege of running that trail! Thanks GM and Georgy.
*Aka SM Ellie, that jacket really dazzled!
**Hainan Island incident April 1, 2001
ON ON to next week and Forest Stump's Firework Extravaganza from Tinkley Bottom, Trusham.
